enneagram type for dbmmama

[dbmmama]

Why not? i'll give it a shot if it might point me closer to a socionics type.

I haven't looked into the E-types much. took one test a little while back. i came up even on 2, 6, and 8, with 4 right behind them. at this point, i don't remember what each of those means so i'll go look them up again and see if i can narrow it down a bit myself.

any thoughts, appreciado. -

[strrrng]

My first instinct is that you're in the heart triad.

[dbmmama]

Before reading anything more, soul search and find the thing in your life that makes you feel the most troubled. Why?

i don't have to soul search for that. that has been a given and the main reason i do just about everything i do. i'll read and see which ones correlates...

thanks and thanks strrrng

[FDG]

I think you're a type 2.

Definitely a "positive outlook" type (positive outlook types are 2, 7, 9), definitely an extraverted type, definitely a feeling type too (even in "enneagram" terms).

Try to check out 2 descriptions and see if they fit

[dbmmama]

as i'm looking into this, i'm finding the enneagram much more dynamic and compelling. i like that, room for change, growth and understanding of the actual underlying motivations. this is what i was looking for.

[strrrng]

I think she's either 2 or 7 or 8. What leans away from 2 is that I'm not sure her social style is compliant (compliant does not = deferential; it's about according to what one deems as right or correct). What leans me away from 8 is that I don't think she's reactive harmonic style; she seems positive outlook.

kelly, look into object relations here: http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/ObjectRelns.html

and tell me whether you identify more with frustration or rejection

[dbmmama]

I think she's either 2 or 7 or 8. What leans away from 2 is that I'm not sure her social style is compliant (compliant does not = deferential; it's about according to what one deems as right or correct). What leans me away from 8 is that I don't think she's reactive harmonic style; she seems positive outlook.

kelly, look into object relations here: http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/ObjectRelns.html

and tell me whether you identify more with frustration or rejection

that was easy, frustration for sure. and 1, 4 and 7 were the main three i was just reading about...i'll keep reading...

[strrrng]

that was easy, frustration for sure. and 1, 4 and 7 were the main three i was just reading about...i'll keep reading...

then I think you're 7.

[dbmmama]

then I think you're 7.

thanks, i think i'm either a 4 or 7...i'm reading right now. years ago i would have said 1...

[dbmmama]

ahaaahhahahahaha....

Tomorrow you'll probably end up 9w1 as well.................

i figured you'd get a kick out of it if you read that! well, you know i'm not "trying" to copy you. but if we do end up being the same this way, we're both still weirdos. only problem is that "easy going" and "going with the flow" have been the HARDEST things for me to do and/or learn in life. THOSE are the things i have tried the hardest to do. second only to nonjudgmentalness.....and following through on things i start. oh yeah and letting go of control. that's a big one! what else? so much.........heeeheee!

[dbmmama]

"Like Fives and Sixes, Sevens are also seeking security, but they are unsure where to find it. Sevens feel that they have to try all sources of security and that way they'll eliminate the ones that don't work and find the ones that do. Sevens however, have a hard time focusing on the sources of security they presently have. Instead, they are always thinking about the future. Keeping their options open, Sevens try not to over commit themselves to any one thing, lest they miss out on an even better experience."

Hey dbmamma, do you relate to any of this, especially the bolded part? I found that many 7s display this behavior quite readily....maybe it's harder to tell and accurately judge these things online......but I've often found that it even bleeds into their writing. It manifests as a general sort of "excitability"....the 7 is open to or looking for new ideas, feedback, responses, etc...but when people reply and want to further expand and narrow the idea, hone it, analyze it indepth, or whatever, the 7 has already moved on. It's not so much an inability to concentrate as much as it is a sort of scanning of the environment, and a superficial (as in, not fake, but rather, a unprolonged period of time, surface evaluation) glance at whatever ideas, feedback, etc. are offered...if in that glance, the thing isn't deemed worthy of interest by the 7, they move on....or perhaps it catches their attention for a brief moment, but it's such a cursory glance....and then they move on...

It's this trait, it's like holding something that has potential interest in your awareness for a moment, seeing if it's worthy....and dropping it a minute later if it doesn't qualify. Multiply this tendency, and fast foward it, and you've got a characteristic 7.

This is a characteristic I associate not only with enneagram 7, but also Se. It has a scanning, evaluating quality...

This is the quality I feel from your posts and your writing style....I also feel that besides being a 7, you are Beta, and good at Se....however I could be wrong, feel free to correct me...

well, i think you've got it sherlock!!!! "dancing butterfly" flit........flit....scan.....flit................. ............!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!..........flit~~~~~! !~~~scan.....scan~~~flit~!

i do what you described with my intellectual interests as well as my physical body.~~~~~~flit~~ that's why homeschooling my 4 kids is so fun...i get to flit all over the place with so many interests as well as physically going and doing whatever, whenever, as the inspiration strikes my fancy...

my 8 year old, same and same some more
my 13mo old, same

does this mean beta Se? not sure yet. it almost sounds creative Ne instead of base Ne??? or were you thinking role or polr Ne? because i flit "too much"?

i HAVE figured out where to find my security, but it is so nebulous in the spiritual realms that i have to work very hard to remember it's existance in every moment. once i'm in a centered "remembering" place, the flitting becomes much more productive and feels better, actuallyfor myself and everyone else's lives i touch.

i actually have a KICKASS life, one that most would be and are jealous of. i didn't set my life up in a way SO THAT people would be jealous. i set it up this way so it would be KICKASS FUN AND COOL. anything less is unacceptable, for me.

in my spiritual remembering state, i manifest the life of my dreams very easily and quickly. when i'm not "there" it becomes chaos, inwardly and outwardly. i have this power to create, not by force, but by allowing the Universe to gently and in fun and ease, hand me exactly what i asked for.

is all of this arrogant? not if it's true. i wish the same for everyone...to live the life of their dreams in fun and ease....

[Exodus]

i actually have a KICKASS life, one that most would be and are jealous of. i didn't set my life up in a way SO THAT people would be jealous. i set it up this way so it would be KICKASS FUN AND COOL. anything less is unacceptable, for me.

i wish the same for everyone...to live the life of their dreams in fun and ease....

ESE FTW

[dbmmama]

Yes, you still remind me of something 6-ish.



A 1...hmm. ...Could you be a 1w-something? o.O

How do you see conflict manifesting in your life?

this is me:

People of Enneatype One are idealists. They are idealists in the sense that they bring to all of their experience an implicit sense of “how things should be.” This sense of an unmet ideal permeates the One’s experience of the world. It is as though they were simultaneously aware of how things are and of how they should be. Since reality as the One perceives it, and the ideal as the One conceives it, very infrequently coincide, Ones experience reality as being essentially flawed and approach it from a standpoint of frustration.

why i have worked very hard in my life to allow and not be so frustrated........allllllllloooowwwwwwwwwww. All is Wellllll Kelly Jo. All is Well in Spirit. and so, with that being so, all is well on every level of existance. you CAN let your guard down and show others that you're human too and have flaws like everyone else. it's ok.

if you keep telling yourself something over and over, eventually, you start believing it. and even preaching it to others...

conflict, huh? conflict has occurred in my life when someone was not doing what i thought was the "right" thing to do. i have let this go A LOT already. i've learned to accept where they are on their path is NOT a reflection of me. it's a reflection of them and all of their inner "stuff." i will still not let someone "walk all over me." but, i do send them love and peace on their journey.

[Rubicon]

Yeah - gotta agree, my aquatic friend. I think 'kicking ass' points to Se more than anything else. It frightens me at any rate.

[Exodus]

Just for the record, I don't think she's ESE. Why do you think what she said is inherant to ESE?

"to live the life of [one's] dreams in fun and ease" is totally Alpha Fe+Si. There is some Se in the rest, but it's perfectly consistent with demonstrative.

Si is a more subjective way of gathering information, since it's internal. And it's not continually updating itself in the manner that Se is...Se is updating itself on an external basis, so that can be very fast, a torrent.

I'd actually say it's the opposite: dynamic elements are the ones that update constantly.

[dbmmama]

Yeah - gotta agree, my aquatic friend. I think 'kicking ass' points to Se more than anything else. It frightens me at any rate.

it's only a term that describes that i go full out. not that i actually kick anyone's ass. LOL

[Exodus]

Yeah - gotta agree, my aquatic friend. I think 'kicking ass' points to Se more than anything else. It frightens me at any rate.

And, uh, "kickass" != "kicking ass". In fact, "kickass" > "kicking ass".

[Rubicon]

it's only a term that describes that i go full out. not that i actually kick anyone's ass. LOL

And, uh, "kickass" != "kicking ass". In fact, "kickass" > "kicking ass".

Ok ok. We don't say that over here. That's my excuse anyway. (c:

[strrrng]

Hey strrrng, does this sound like Ni-needing to you at all?

no, it was completely delta NF the way she described it. ENFp.

[dbmmama]

I think Beta's general communication style can come across as forceful to other quadras, especially Si/Ne valuers.....Si valuers, people adept at Si, already have something that works for them....and Se valuers come in, and it's too fast, too furious, the way Se works....the constant scanning, the "flitting". It's a bit like how Fe valuers can seem annoying or intrusive to Fi valuers...and it's not saying anyone is "worse" or "better" than the others. It's just the way communication styles differ.

this might be true then. because my sister calls herself "attractive" and i call myself "hot". she just told me a few days ago why my term did sound more beta to her. why i HAVE to use that term for looking good vs. something else. thoughts....

[strrrng]

"to live the life of [one's] dreams in fun and ease" is totally Alpha Fe+Si.

and you're totally dumb

[dbmmama]

no, it was completely delta NF the way she described it. ENFp.

then, i'm either ENFp E7 or INFj E1. i came up INFJ in MB for many years before coming to socionics. the three types i've been looking at lately are infp, infj and isfp.

gotta go to bed now.

[Rubicon]

why i have worked very hard in my life to allow and not be so frustrated........allllllllloooowwwwwwwwwww. All is Wellllll Kelly Jo. All is Well in Spirit. and so, with that being so, all is well on every level of existance. you CAN let your guard down and show others that you're human too and have flaws like everyone else. it's ok.

if you keep telling yourself something over and over, eventually, you start believing it. and even preaching it to others...

conflict, huh? conflict has occurred in my life when someone was not doing what i thought was the "right" thing to do. i have let this go A LOT already. i've learned to accept where they are on their path is NOT a reflection of me. it's a reflection of them and all of their inner "stuff." i will still not let someone "walk all over me." but, i do send them love and peace on their journey.

Just wondering how much of who you are now is really "who you are" intrinsically and how much is who you've become through sheer willpower. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you strike me as someone who works hard at letting things go and taking it easy. Does this come naturally for you?

[Exodus]

and you're totally dumb

Such unfailing maturity!

That's not my dream life, at any rate. I wonder if you think I'm not Alpha?

I don't really have an opinion on your type.

I can't argue with you, yet, because I need to go read on the functions some more...but even if what you say is true, Si is something that happens internally and is thus not always readily observable outwardly. Se is something you can measure outwardly, because the situational dynamics change readily.

I need to go find the Se description Herzy wrote about it. She talked about "scanning" if I remember correctly.

At any rate, to me, an Si valuer, Se can seem like a torrent of information that I don't need. But that might be independent of your point.

Well, like any extroverted element Se is about active involvement, so Si valuers tend to see it as unwanted interference.

[dbmmama]

Just wondering how much of who you are now is really "who you are" intrinsically and how much is who you've become through sheer willpower. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you strike me as someone who works hard at letting things go and taking it easy. Does this come naturally for you?

i will say that i have become me now through willpower, yes. i do have to work hard at letting things go and taking it easy. i am a very restless person, internally and externally. meditation type things are the only things that connect me with my center. but if i don't exercise/workout, my natural state is one of worry, anxiety, thinking too much about the meaning of everything............which spirals me into depression. all a very internal thing. i used my willpower to get over this a lot and come out of my shell into the world of other people and showing that i'm not perfect afterall.

[Rubicon]

i will say that i have become me now through willpower, yes. i do have to work hard at letting things go and taking it easy. i am a very restless person, internally and externally. meditation type things are the only things that connect me with my center. but if i don't exercise/workout, my natural state is one of worry, anxiety, thinking too much about the meaning of everything............which spirals me into depression. all a very internal thing. i used my willpower to get over this a lot and come out of my shell into the world of other people and showing that i'm not perfect afterall.

See, I don't think this sort of behaviour sounds ESE, Hotel.

[XoX]

I could accept SEE for teh mama. Not ESE. At least not at the moment. At some point I played with the idea of ILE instead of IEE but somehow I still think she is Fi-type. This is based on very little material though. I'm not sure why I am only considering EP types.

[dbmmama]

I think it's this restlessness you're talking about, that makes me feel as it you are a little different from me. I also feel some kind of strength in you, when it comes to talking with people, that I don't have. I'm outgoing, but I am more shy about approaching people somehow, a Se (or Si?) thing, I suppose? I don't know if it's connected to type or if it's just psyche or experiences or whatever. You definitely have some of the same things I have, and I agree with you on a lot of the things you write here. You sound like an ENFp with Se... That's weird, haha.

yes, strength in talking to people?! that's actually the most laughable thing ever! i can do it now on the internet and a bit more irl, but overall in my life, i was the most timid creature you'd find, scared of people, big time. how hard is it to push buttons on a keyboard?! LOL i have only in the past year or so been able to actually say something to someone in line at the grocery store without freaking out inside. but once i finally felt comfortable in doing that, it's like this big dam broke open and now it's fun! i finally got over myself. it's very amazing and i am very grateful. my hubby is the king of small talk, anyone, anywhere. it always amazed me.

the ENFp descriptions sound the most like me when just reading the descriptions, ENTp as well. But, i do have some kind of strong S somehow. i don't know right now. ESFp descriptions sound like me too, except i never understood the meaning of "social territory". and ISFp feels like me on the inside. all i ever wanted to be/do was a mommy, dancer, artist. but, the dancer and artist thing didn't happen BECAUSE i was too self conscious about not being "perfect."

i want to paint this portrait of jessica and it sucks because all i'm doing is analyzing in my head about it. should i do it this way or that way. what will people think if i do it this way. oh, i don't want anyone to think that of me so i better paint it this way.....ahhhh!!!!! brain, shut up so i can just paint it and have fun doing it!! if there was some switch where i could shut this analyzer voice in my head off, i'd be golden!!!! and i'd go on being an extraverted ISFp and not caring what anyone else thought.

well, this thread is about my Etype anyway....mix up 1, 4, 7 with some 8. i am motivated for all of those reasons.

[dbmmama]

Thank you.



And you could even be an ENFp and be a 1, probably.



If it helps, that is why my EII friend can't paint anything.

You're anxiety, the way it manifests, the perfection, still reminds me of a 6. She is a 9w1 and she is less self-conscious. But alot of her desires are the same as yours. I could see her being a dancer, etc. :>

thanks esper.

i'm a 1 alright. i act like a 4 under stress and have learned many ways to help myself and grow, which looks more like a 7. the core of me is a 1. im not going to explain it further because being an unhealthy 1 most of my life sucked too bad. i've grown and i want to stay in that place and keep moving forward.

[dbmmama]

What quadras do you identify with?


Just do it....

That analyzer voice sounds like E-type 1, doesn't it? Remember this: that voice is not more right than you are. It's just another opinion. Some people will agree with you, some with that voice... At least that's what I'm telling myself.

But I know exactly what you mean about analyzing. What about you paint that portrait only for yourself, without thinking about showing it to anyone? Then you could enjoy the painting process, and ruin the portrait afterwards if you feel like it, or show it only if you want. I guess it's better to make a "you" painting than to make a perfect painting. Or? At least I can't make "me" if I listen to hard to that analyzer voice. In my world perfect is OK, "me" is better, perfect and "me" is the best. I paint myself, and I have decided to never feel the need to "show" my paintings to anyone, as I paint only for my own pleasure. Once I feel the need to show off, the analyzer takes control over me, and it's not recreation anymore. Painting is for me and for me alone. I have a lot of other areas of my life where I feel the need to be "perfect", so I don't want art to be an area of perfection, it's for expressing myself... I'll show you some of my paintings if you'd like. They are all weird, haha. Do you sell your paintings?


It's very similar to me then. I also recognize some 3 and a little piece of 5 in myself. Read this about type 9:
We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity.

Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typeNine.asp

quadras, alpha and delta, mostly. but there are thing in beta and gamma i appreciate and do too.

you are so funny! because the whole idea of painting something and then throwing it away without showing anyone is something i have told others to do!!!

a couple of years ago, i was painting something that i knew i would show to others and my little girl, 2 at the time, came up behind me and had grabbed an oil pastel without me knowing it. she started scribbling on my canvas (my kids are not inhibited like me) (scratch that, i am opening up more and more!). i freaked out! she's going to ruin what i was just working on!!!! i don't outwardly show this to her because i know better. and something clicked in my head and i said "fuck it!" and started scribbling on the canvas with her. i had so much fun!! to this day, that is my favorite piece. "fuck it!" and just go WITH what shows up sometimes. some of my other favorite pieces are those kind too.

i'll read 9 again, but 1 with 4 in stress and 7 in growth sounds the most like me at this point.

thanks.

[dbmmama]

i'll read 9 again, but 1 with 4 in stress and 7 in growth sounds the most like me at this point.

no, couldn't even get through it. not me. 1W2

[dbmmama]

You'll see I'll end up there as well 3 days from now...

i feel the most confident about this than anything we've gone through on this board.

this is me:

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/1growth.asp

[dbmmama]

i feel the most confident about this than anything we've gone through on this board.

this is me:

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/1growth.asp

i'll add that sex is the only area that i've not been inhibited in.

[dbmmama]

Good! I guess I'm jealous at the moment, as I'd like to be sure as well.
Maybe I'm 4 after all ... ...

it sure is a relief. the one in both of us wanting it(our types) to be "perfect" and not settling until we "find" it.

[dbmmama]

now onto the stacks. the only ones that fit had the sexual in them.

social/sexual
sexual/self-pres
sexual/social

those three. any ideas on the main differences for a 1?

[strrrng]

I think kelly jo is sx/so

[dbmmama]

I think kelly jo is sx/so

thanks strrrng for your opinion. i appreciate that you left it open for me to make my own mind up about which one. and at the same time i agree with you. i just wondered if anyone saw the intensity the same as i do and know within myself.

everything in this description is right on. and the bit about being sloppy in the physical with emphasis on perfection with people and relationships that is described in so/sx that goes in with sx/so also hit a big nail on the head.

i really like that i've moved away from so much of the anger that was permeated me in my younger days. man. and when they mentioned 1s getting ulcers, bingo!

Sexual/Social

The instinctual energy of this subtype is the most at odds with their dominant Oneness. This subtype is the most intense. They are looking for perfection in everyone they are close to, not just their spouses. They can be very charismatic and engaging. They can also be very persuasive, like the social/sexual. If they have an opinion you are going to hear about it. It’s very important for them to be understood. They are outwardly competitive. Like the social/sexual, they too may be mistyped as other enneatypes. The anger that is under the surface with the other instinctual variants of type One is much more likely to be apparent with this subtype. You always know where you stand with them. They can mimic type Eight's energy in this regard. On the high side, this type is warm and engaging, but on the down side this same energy can bring with it the full brunt of the One's anger and the need to be right.

[strrrng]

everything in this description is right on. and the bit about being sloppy in the physical with emphasis on perfection with people and relationships that is described in so/sx that goes in with sx/so also hit a big nail on the head.

yups your intensity is too pervasive to not have sx first lol

[dbmmama]

strrrng, you may be right that i'm a 7. my sis thinks i'm a 4. she says it's the only one she can see me as.

how deep do i need to go? the descriptions aren't THAT deep.

[dbmmama]

You'll come to the 9w1 club soon. It's the only club that allows you to be a little of everything....

no offense, but i'm kinda tired of TRYING to be a little of everything. i know i'm not and trying to be a little of everything has diluted WHO I AM. i'm sick of it.

i know you guys on the 9w1 thread are SO CLOSE to what i am but there is a big difference. I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN WHAT I WANT, i just have a very scattered, insecure energy in knowing HOW to get it. so i went into the manifesting realms of things and have used that knowledge to do it. it's not my natural way. my natural way is to bulldoze and go get it. but, that isn't "nice" for a girl to do to make friends. and friends are one of things i want. lovely catch22.

i'm all over the place, manic, like a 7, searching for the HOW. i want to feel free to express myself in my own way and not care what anyone thinks. but, i have always cared TOO MUCH what everyone else thinks. so, i keep on searching for some "legitimate" way of expressing myself so i won't come across too "out there" so i'll still feel safe in my way of doing it.

when i was a makeup artist, it was "legitimate" for me to dress up and do my makeup in crazy ways and go for the creative expression i enjoyed, without holding back.

so, i know i have this 4 thing that wants to come out and play but then there's this other thing, this 7 thing, that searches for the "right" outlet to do it, with some kind of "security" thing that feels the need to call myself an "artist" for it to feel legitimate. while, if i called myself an artist, i also don't want others to think i'm being TOO self righteous....OMG!!!

all of the art i've used in my avatars is mine and there's a part of me that wants everyone to know it! and another part that thinks "but, if they know it and don't like it, i will feel so worthless."

OH GOD, how much i just want to dance, a creative dancer of life, without worrying about what anyone else thinks. i've come so close and then i start analyzing stuff again, like with all of this, instead of getting up and doing it.