I stole some hot dogs

[xyz]

So today i was thinking how easy it'd be to sneak in hotels before work and get the free breakfasts.

I snuck into a hotel and stole some white towels. Im sure the breakfast is do-able.

[jessica129]

I'm almost convinced i'll never have to pay for food again.

[xyz]

I'm almost convinced i'll never have to pay for food again.

If you look in the right places, and steal just a small amount at irregular intervals, you've got it made.

[jessica129]

But really though, why don't bums just sneak in hotels for some breakfast? I tell ya, i'd be one creative bum.

[xyz]

But really though, why don't bums just sneak in hotels for some breakfast? I tell ya, i'd be one creative bum.

I think it's because the smell they give off gives anyone within a mile radius who can smell a hobo radar. Those guys can give off a pretty mean stench. Now, if you found a way to bathe and steal food, holy crap...

We should come up with a system

[jessica129]

Yeah, but see i'd have that all taken care of beforehand. Mcdonalds has a pretty big sink for bathing and their soap is quality. Shower up there, "sample" some deodorant in the aisle of a walmart, head over to the hotel, eat up and pack some muffins for the road. Bums are just too lazy, if only they'd apply themselves.

[xyz]

Yeah, but see i'd have that all taken care of beforehand. Mcdonalds has a pretty big sink for bathing and their soap is quality. Shower up there, "sample" some deodorant in the aisle of a walmart, head over to the hotel, eat up and pack some muffins for the road. Bums are just too lazy, if only they'd apply themselves.

Hrm, that's totally spot on. You'd just have to make sure you have about 2-3 general locations so you can do this all the time. Becoming dependent on one spot can ruin your whole food/wash economy, and you definitely don't want some punk kid who feels brave one day putting you on the spot to starve.

If you can avoid sweating you can even go 2 days or so without washing. Do you have those hobo coats? You need those to be able to stuff as much food. Then you can extend your resources even more.

[olduser]

Yeah, but see i'd have that all taken care of beforehand. Mcdonalds has a pretty big sink for bathing and their soap is quality. Shower up there, "sample" some deodorant in the aisle of a walmart, head over to the hotel, eat up and pack some muffins for the road. Bums are just too lazy, if only they'd apply themselves.

i think you are joking, but if not, i think bums have higher priorities whether it be shizophrenic hallucinonations, drugs, alcohol, or work. being hygenic isn't very important when a person is starving or cRaZY! .

[jessica129]

I'm joking in that obviously I'M not going to do this because I am not poor...cheap, yes, but not poor. My work is surrounded by hotels and bums and the thought occured to me on my lunch break....it only seemed like the normal thing to do. Dunno, I have to much time on my hands to think of these things I guess. I don't think I'll ever starve so that's a plus.

[iAnnAu]

When I was 22, I thought I had it all planned out: I bought a cargo van, put a bed (OK, a mattress) & clothes rack in it, and decided that all I needed was a national gym membership, libraries and temp agencies. I would park on the road in a different suburban neighborhood each night to sleep, shower at the gym when needed, and when my gas or food money ran low I would call up the temp agency & got a short-term job. No one at the temp agency or work assignment would know I was living in my transportation, as I would be decently-groomed. I could wander at will, off the radar and adventurous as I could possibly afford with no rent or utilities.
The snags included needing an address to put on the resume and for checks to be mailed to (temp agencies didn't do direct deposit over a decade ago), a phone for them to call me back (cell phones were more expensive and numbers not as portable), and the limitations of locations of gyms. All of these things could have been overcome, and now would be even easier (libraries used to offer internet on their computers; now you've got WiFi spots everywhere including there, so now I would even own my own computer (if possible) as a bum).
Ultimately, my long-homeless penpal the Mobius Kid talked his pal into letting me take over his crash spot in the guy's guest bedroom when Moe abandoned it to return to Hotlanta ... and I lived there for 15 months rent-free. He had a pool, a hot tub, a great stereo, and a location 6 miles from Cocoa Beach. We used to stand on his roof to watch rockets & shuttles take off from Cape Canaveral. Spoiled rotten, I was! After months of bouncing around throwaway office jobs (hey, pays better than foodservice), I ended up needing a hospital stay which motivated me to get a "real" job.
By the time I moved out of his place, I'd ditched the "Playground Raider" as my friends had come to call it ... it was much less of a stealth RV as I'd first imagined and more of an oven on wheels in the Florida heat. I later actually bought an RV, only to discover that taking all that plumbing, fussy electrical fusing, and loud maintenance-hogging generator equipment with you is way more hassle than you would imagine ...
As for food ... what you really want to do I learned way back in 1994 when I ran with hippies and gutter punks in Asheville NC. Dumpster diving ... crashing church functions, seminars and conventions ... begging around the back doors of restaurants and bakeries for day-old goods ... We used to get more food than we knew what to do with (though not all of it was to our taste, of course)!
Wow - I just realized I'm actually too lazy to be a bum. That's pretty fucked up! Oh well. Maybe one day I'll publish a book on how I lived homeless with no one in my daily interactions the wiser ... AND BUY A MANSION WITH THE ROYALTIES OH THE IRONY.
(Hmm. Sleep deprivation seems to do something to my sense of humor ...)

[jessica129]

Hah, I was just going to say "iAnnAu, you need to write a book". Really, you do.

[xyz]

Too lazy to be a bum? Hogwash.

[Lotus]

Stealing food is type-related:

Luis: (i just stole some twizzlers from a coworker. damn theyre good)
Allie: FUCKING ISTPS ALL STEAL FOOD??
Luis: prolly
Allie: did they deserve it for being fat too?
Luis: No she deserved it for mispronouncing my last name even though she fucking speaks spanish
Luis: and in general shes an even bigger and pushier pain in the ass than you

[jessica129]

lol!

[Rubicon]

NOT THE HOTDOG THREAD!!

[jessica129]

We should just sticky this thread. I mean hell, it's only a matter of time before I steal something else.

[XoX]

We should just sticky this thread. I mean hell, it's only a matter of time before I steal something else.

I totally did not want to laugh at your unethical stealing jokes but this time I just couldn't help it.

[Creepy-bg]

We should just sticky this thread. I mean hell, it's only a matter of time before I steal something else.

+2

[Ms. Kensington]

I totally did not want to laugh at your unethical stealing jokes but this time I just couldn't help it.

you made xox laugh!

[jewels]

I sometimes forget how differently people think...as uh, this thread shows.

"wow how awesome someone stole food from someone fat!" I don't get this.

I would have assumed most people would think stealing was bad in almost all situations, except to like, save someone's life or whatever. Sadly, I guess this is why we need laws, because of people who lack judgement. Then we all have to abide by restrictive laws, because of a few idiots who are like "stealing is cool! hahhahahah!"

Sucks.

It doesn't matter if it's a hotdog or a car, the law will punish you. That's why it's dumb that people steal $5 earrings from a store because "the store makes so much money, who cares?" And they get arrested. Duh.

I sometimes forget that logical types don't necessarily use logic. Or maybe this is just "different" logic? As in "me is the only thing that matters." I think that attitude develops in people who have had hard lives and lacked enough love, and decide to take it out on everyone else, i.e., most people in prison.

[jessica129]

ohmigod my dual hates me.

[xyz]

ohmigod my dual hates me.

and would me.

[jessica129]

and would me.

Did your rough childhood possess you to steal twizzlers? Dunno about you, but gosh, those rough memories made me want to steal some hotdogs....just couldn't control it.

[munenori2]

you made xox laugh!

Jessica must have stolen xox's heart. SLIs are such kleptos!

[Lotus]

I <3 ISTps

AND I love my new signature too

[xyz]

Did your rough childhood possess you to steal twizzlers? Dunno about you, but gosh, those rough memories made me want to steal some hotdogs....just couldn't control it.

sure did jessica. all those punches to the face while mommy sucked on the whiskey bottle sure do fade away when I face a palmful of that red stuff.

[jewels]

I don't hate my duals. But still, I think stealing stuff is mean.

Just be careful not to eat too many of those twizzlers w/ all those calories, or you know what might happen to them in the break room. *poof* gone for your own good.

[Creepy-bg]

thread bumped to highlight the best of Jessica month.

[DirectorAbbie]

I charge my fat brother more for food than I charge my skinny brother.

[Joy]

I charge my fat brother more for food than I charge my skinny brother.

LOL

People who come into my house can eat anything my cupboards or refrigerator and it's fine. I have no problem with feeding people. If it's something that requires preparation, they gotta do it though.

[jessica129]

Ugh, I hate when people do that. I have a friend that comes over and the first thing he does is raid my refrigerator...and not just some chips or something...bagels and pizza and bologna and burritos and hot pockets and pb&j. It's so rude. I made the mistake of once saying he could have anything he wanted...it was a one time thing not an invitation to do it a couple times a week.

[Creepy-bg]

bump!

[jessica129]

Oh god

[Narc]

Wow, all this banter and arguing about hot dogs and not one of you made a phallic joke. I'm so disappointed.

[woofwoofl]

[blackburry]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH woofwoof, that was perfect.

[mikemex]

Ugh, I hate when people do that. I have a friend that comes over and the first thing he does is raid my refrigerator...and not just some chips or something...bagels and pizza and bologna and burritos and hot pockets and pb&j. It's so rude. I made the mistake of once saying he could have anything he wanted...it was a one time thing not an invitation to do it a couple times a week.

When it comes to bodily necessities, you should ask him for wild and depraved sex. Just to be even I mean.

[Capitalist Pig]

best thread revival EVER

[jessica129]

Oh the good old days when I used to be able to go to work drunk.

[Capitalist Pig]

i would just like to state that i am probably now the official "hot dog stealer" of the forum.

 

sometimes if i'm hungry at work i will go back into the cooler and pick out a hot dog to microwave and i don't pay for them