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Thread: Fi base vs Fi creative

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    Default Fi base vs. Fi creative

    do i have this right?

    a simplification:
    Fi base is concerned about the morally right thing in relationships and carries it out with either an Se physical way of doing it or an Ne open possibility allowing.

    where Fi creatives go about being either Se physical with the world around them and stop short at a certain point if it's not morally right or would be open to allowing possibilities and stop short at a certain point if it's not morally right.

    meaning the Fi base always has their morally right antenae on and
    the Fi creative turns theirs on just enough to "get by," not that it's weak but just not as "always there" as Fi base people.

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    The first function is "who you are" and the second is "what you do". The first is sort of the eyes through which you see the world. The second is perhaps more of... a means through which we accomplish things? It's used more actively than simply by default without really noticing it, as with the fist function.

    (Of course, the first function is a conscious function as well, it's just easier to take it for granted, as in not really think about the fact that you're thinking that way.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    The first function is "who you are" and the second is "what you do". The first is sort of the eyes through which you see the world. The second is perhaps more of... a means through which we accomplish things? It's used more actively than simply by default without really noticing it, as with the fist function.

    (Of course, the first function is a conscious function as well, it's just easier to take it for granted, as in not really think about the fact that you're thinking that way.)
    thanks, ok that makes sense. but now what about Fi specifically?

    just got a flash...ok, got it. mil is delta. this is what i was looking for. mil IS the social conscious of morality and does it in a Ne way. yes, yes, it is her. all of her self sacrificing in the name of helping societies downtrodden...yes.

    thks

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    I'm not really sure how it works with ENFps, since I haven't observed them in action closely enough (plus I don't understand the nature of Ne well enough to speculate either), but a simplification of SeFi is that leading Se will have a goal or goals to attain and that the creative Fi is used to form personal connections with other individuals, which can then aid in achieving said goal(s). To those who don't value Se, this probably looks (to them) like the SEE is manipulating others, but it's important to note that the connections made with other individuals are genuine and not just for convenience. SEEs IME can be very generous and helpful to those they're close to and they're also very loyal.

    Thinking of an example actually about the personal connections aiding in achieving goals, one of my uncles who I think is SEE (unfortunately I don't know him too well, but I'm pretty sure he's a Gamma extrovert and Se seems to be more apparent in him than Te), at a family meal around last christmas, I was telling him about the music I write and what my plans were with regards to releasing it and all that (even though said plans have changed now, but that's irrelevant), and he said something along the lines of "Well, I know some people who work for CD manufacturers so when you're ready to start producing just let me know". Those probably weren't his exact words, but the point I'm getting at is that because he happens to have some business contacts through his work, who happen to work for CD manufacturers or whatever, he automatically considers this connection he's built with said contacts as a tool to help me achieve my goal. It's the sort of thing that's easier to observe in real life, but for SEEs at least, this is one of the many bazillion ways in which Fi creative works (there's so many aspects to so many functions, I think one could spend their entire life observing how types work and still find new things that they haven't discovered yet).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    The first function is "who you are" and the second is "what you do". The first is sort of the eyes through which you see the world. The second is perhaps more of... a means through which we accomplish things? It's used more actively than simply by default without really noticing it, as with the fist function.

    (Of course, the first function is a conscious function as well, it's just easier to take it for granted, as in not really think about the fact that you're thinking that way.)
    This puts INFj vs. ENFp in perspective for me. I definetely think Ne and Fi are my first 2 functions, but looking at it this way (who I am vs. what I do) makes the order clear.
    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    thanks, ok that makes sense. but now what about Fi specifically?

    just got a flash...ok, got it. mil is delta. this is what i was looking for. mil IS the social conscious of morality and does it in a Ne way. yes, yes, it is her. all of her self sacrificing in the name of helping societies downtrodden...yes.

    thks
    Is mil=mother in law? And yeah, this is not me. More like my intuition with people/relationships is who I am and the way I am able to reach people is through Fi. Makes perfect sense!

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    So you're IEE then?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    So you're IEE then?
    Yes, I really think so. I'll stay open to other possibilities as new information becomes available, though.

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    base annoys me and I wish it didn't. I think it's because my mother is EII. I guess it's because I feel judged around them. VERY judged. EIIs are sooo nice too. It's not like they would attack me verbally or anything. I just feel this chilly silence whenever they don't approve or something. *sigh* I want to figure out a way to get along better with this type. I don't feel like I can be myself around them. I can't let it all hang out. My brother in law is ISFj and I like him (and he likes me and we get along--he says some super funny stuff) but I always have my guard up around him.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    base annoys me and I wish it didn't. I think it's because my mother is EII. I guess it's because I feel judged around them. VERY judged. EIIs are sooo nice too. It's not like they would attack me verbally or anything. I just feel this chilly silence whenever they don't approve or something. *sigh* I want to figure out a way to get along better with this type. I don't feel like I can be myself around them. I can't let it all hang out. My brother in law is ISFj and I like him (and he likes me and we get along--he says some super funny stuff) but I always have my guard up around him.
    that's how i feel with my mil.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    base annoys me and I wish it didn't. I think it's because my mother is EII. I guess it's because I feel judged around them. VERY judged. EIIs are sooo nice too. It's not like they would attack me verbally or anything. I just feel this chilly silence whenever they don't approve or something. *sigh* I want to figure out a way to get along better with this type. I don't feel like I can be myself around them. I can't let it all hang out. My brother in law is ISFj and I like him (and he likes me and we get along--he says some super funny stuff) but I always have my guard up around him.
    From what I've understood by having many Fi dominants friends and girlfriends - when they become silent after you have done something they do not like, it is not meant as a form of punishment. Rather, they're mostly trying not to get angry because you've done something they "disapprove" - they don't like the fact that you've done it, but they also value their relationship with you so they prefer not to get angry (unless it's something serious).
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    From what I've understood by having many Fi dominants friends and girlfriends - when they become silent after you have done something they do not like, it is not meant as a form of punishment. Rather, they're mostly trying not to get angry because you've done something they "disapprove" - they don't like the fact that you've done it, but they also value their relationship with you so they prefer not to get angry (unless it's something serious).
    Yeah I know but it makes me uncomfortable and feels passive and uncommunicative. My mother almost never shows her anger. I've only seen her angry maybe twice in my entire life. But I feel that there's a lot going on in her mind and I guess it makes me uncomfortable to imagine what she's thinking.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    base annoys me and I wish it didn't. I think it's because my mother is EII. I guess it's because I feel judged around them. VERY judged. EIIs are sooo nice too. It's not like they would attack me verbally or anything. I just feel this chilly silence whenever they don't approve or something. *sigh* I want to figure out a way to get along better with this type. I don't feel like I can be myself around them. I can't let it all hang out. My brother in law is ISFj and I like him (and he likes me and we get along--he says some super funny stuff) but I always have my guard up around him.
    agreed. it's like you're being watched by a cop or something. i just can't take it in big doses or over long time frames.

    Fi creative...not so bad, but i always feel like they're playing with me or something. but yeah, Fi creative, generally a lot less discomfort-inducing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    that's how i feel with my mil.
    People make others feel that way by being unaccepting, which they can do regardless of their functional arrangement.

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    From what I've understood by having many Fi dominants friends and girlfriends - when they become silent after you have done something they do not like, it is not meant as a form of punishment. Rather, they're mostly trying not to get angry because you've done something they "disapprove" - they don't like the fact that you've done it, but they also value their relationship with you so they prefer not to get angry (unless it's something serious).
    Why would the only choices be "get angry" (and possibly jeopardized the relationship by doing so??????) or not say anything about it?

    Fi dominants are pretty good at telling you what they think about what you've said/done without getting emotional about it and certainly without jeopardizing the relationship (they are Fi dominant, after all).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Why would the only choices be "get angry" (and possibly jeopardized the relationship by doing so??????) or not say anything about it?

    Fi dominants are pretty good at telling you what they think about what you've said/done without getting emotional about it and certainly without jeopardizing the relationship (they are Fi dominant, after all).
    I had written a long reply to this, but then I decided somebody that swallows hundreds of pills of xanax with alchool when his son is around wasn't worthy of a reply about anything related to Fi.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Fi dominants are pretty good at telling you what they think about what you've said/done without getting emotional about it and certainly without jeopardizing the relationship (they are Fi dominant, after all).
    Well the ones I know are more likely to keep negative feelings inside. Maybe the Fi-dominants that aren't dualized feel more uncertain about the reception they will get when expressing their true thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Well the ones I know are more likely to keep negative feelings inside. Maybe the Fi-dominants that aren't dualized feel more uncertain about the reception they will get when expressing their true thoughts.
    Don't listen to her: my girlfriend is ISFj and has an ENTj parent and she still shows that kind of behavior, to a point of course. It's Joy that is mad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Don't listen to her: my girlfriend is ISFj and has an ENTj parent and she still shows that kind of behavior, to a point of course. It's Joy that is mad.
    Well obviously Joy has had a good experience with that disco-dancing boy
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Well the ones I know are more likely to keep negative feelings inside. Maybe the Fi-dominants that aren't dualized feel more uncertain about the reception they will get when expressing their true thoughts.
    I suppose this could be true of anyone who isn't in an environment which values their ego functions.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Well obviously Joy has had a good experience with that disco-dancing boy
    Not just him... my first boyfriend was also ESI, I've had a number of ESI friends, and my sister is EII (she's not as good at it as the ESI's have been, but even with a SLE mom, she doesn't either "be quiet or get mad" if she sees a Fi problem).
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    From what I've understood by having many Fi dominants friends and girlfriends - when they become silent after you have done something they do not like, it is not meant as a form of punishment. Rather, they're mostly trying not to get angry because you've done something they "disapprove" - they don't like the fact that you've done it, but they also value their relationship with you so they prefer not to get angry (unless it's something serious).
    this IS my mil and is DEFINITELY not me. it's one of the worst things to do to another, in my opinion.

    when i told my dh when we first got together, "tell me straight up what you're thinking and feeling and i will do the same, no matter what. we will stay up all night until we resolve anything, if need be. you WILL ALWAYS know what i'm thinking about anything and i expect the same back." he JUMPED FOR FUCKING JOY! "this one's a keeper." he said!

    and the lovely ironic thing is that because we say everything to each other this way, we almost never fight! there's nothing to fight about when we're not "hiding" anything from the other.

    as i was just working out, which is when a lot of "revelations" come to me, i "got" the difference between Fi and Ti in this regard. i'm getting closer to believing i'm ESTp...and hubby is IEI.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    this IS my mil and is DEFINITELY not me. it's one of the worst things to do to another, in my opinion.

    when i told my dh when we first got together, "tell me straight up what you're thinking and feeling and i will do the same, no matter what. we will stay up all night until we resolve anything, if need be. you WILL ALWAYS know what i'm thinking about anything and i expect the same back." he JUMPED FOR FUCKING JOY! "this one's a keeper." he said!

    and the lovely ironic thing is that because we say everything to each other this way, we almost never fight! there's nothing to fight about when we're not "hiding" anything from the other.

    as i was just working out, which is when a lot of "revelations" come to me, i "got" the difference between Fi and Ti in this regard. i'm getting closer to believing i'm ESTp...and hubby is IEI.
    Yes, this is typically what Te ego types need/get from Fi ego types. (This is especially good for Fe PoLR types because it takes the burden of having to read a person's Fe signals off of them.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Well the ones I know are more likely to keep negative feelings inside. Maybe the Fi-dominants that aren't dualized feel more uncertain about the reception they will get when expressing their true thoughts.

    well.. yes. Actually i know one ESI and i think my EII friend also only sort of opens up about her negative feelings when it's someone close to her.. like her husband. Also she is my best friend and I know I am one of her best friends, and I know when something is upsetting to her that I've done but she wont say it to me. ESI, on the other hand, I think they would tell you right away if you are close whether you are her husband or not. The one that is not my friend or close to me does not tell me when I've done something to upset her even though its really obvious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Yes, this is typically what Te ego types need/get from Fi ego types.
    ok, really? or is it that you just want me to be the same type as you? nothing personal, but I'm trying to see this as objectively as possible...

    and do you mean that the Te ego would say that to the Fi or vice versa?

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    ok, really? or is it that you just want me to be the same type as you? nothing personal, but I'm trying to see this as objectively as possible...

    and do you mean that the Te ego would say that to the Fi or vice versa?
    im not joy but Te types need to feel as if they can totally trust someone. I don't think its about always telling people what they feel as much as always being honest about how they feel when they do decide to "complain" about a relationship that is important to them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    ok, really? or is it that you just want me to be the same type as you? nothing personal, but I'm trying to see this as objectively as possible...
    I don't think the most likely intertype relation for us is identicals.

    And I don't work that way (see bold).

    and do you mean that the Te ego would say that to the Fi or vice versa?
    The Fi type would say that to the Te type. (I edited my last post to indicate that this is especially true for ExFp/IxTp relations. I think it especially characterizes SEE/ILI duality, based on my observations.)
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    for me, i think that it makes sense that Fi dominants might hold back.. i mean if they care a bout a relationship why would they damage it without thinking? I always feel like Fi dominants might think that everyone else has their own set of strong morals themselves, and why would they care what their morals are unless they are in a relationship with them. Then it would actually matter. I realize this is an Fe way to explain it sorta.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    im not joy but Te types need to feel as if they can totally trust someone. I don't think its about always telling people what they feel as much as always being honest about how they feel when they do decide to "complain" about a relationship that is important to them.
    Yes, and we depend on them to recognize it when there's a problem in a relationship and bring it to our attention.


    I'd like to clarify the difference between Fe super id and Fi super id:

    Ti ego types (particularly Ti dominants) need a partner who will give them ethical feedback via emotional expression. (The Fe type shows the Ti type how s/he's feeling right now.)

    Te ego types need a partner who will just flat out state that there is a problem and discuss the problem clearly and openly. Bluntness is required (especially with Fe PoLR types) as Te ego types do not see emotional expression indicating how someone happens to be feeling right now as useful/important, but instead need to know about the overall state of the relationship.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    I don't think the most likely intertype relation for us is identicals.

    And I don't work that way (see bold).

    The Fi type would say that to the Te type. (I edited my last post to indicate that this is especially true for ExFp/IxTp relations. I think it especially characterizes SEE/ILI duality, based on my observations.)
    ok, cool. thanks for clarifying...

    at this point, i'm pretty convinced i'm Se base, it's now a matter of figuring out the next Fi or Ti.... which also entails figuring out my husband if he is either ILI, IEI, or SLI. IP has always been evident to me for him. and if you take those three and mix them together, that's him.

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    LOL

    It's just hit me that most of the people who've posted about how Fi dominants "hold back" they're talking about holding back Fe, not Fi.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    ok, cool. thanks for clarifying...

    at this point, i'm pretty convinced i'm Se base, it's now a matter of figuring out the next Fi or Ti....
    See my post about Fe super id vs. Fi super id here.

    It pretty much comes down to dynamic ethics vs. static ethics, from my perspective.

    (There's also the matter of objects vs. fields, but getting into that could cause more confusion than clarity because of how different information elements work together.)

    which also entails figuring out my husband if he is either ILI, IEI, or SLI. IP has always been evident to me for him. and if you take those three and mix them together, that's him.
    Well, ILI would be the compromise between SLI and IEI, if you want to look at it that way (which would be more useful for typing some people than others).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    It depends though. My EII sister tends to do the sort of thing FDG mentioned. Though it's a little different around my mother and I because she knows the relationship isn't going to be damaged, so she will express a lot of what she approves and disapproves of with us. But the thing is she has a layer of her feelings that is hers and hers alone, that she keeps to herself, that is sacred, and that she shares with no one... My ESE mother tries to pry into these feelings and doesn't understand how personal to my sister they are. It creates conflicts every time she does this. My mother cannot seem to understand this way of being because she expresses her every emotion and her feelings are always fully visible on the surface all the time. She doesn't get that there's nothing wrong with what my sister does (it's just how my sister is by nature and she has always been that way even as a small child). So I don't think that her internalizing her negative feelings or keeping feelings to herself at times is "the worst thing to do." But I know her so well, I understand what she's doing and why and we're so used to each other that differences in our personalities are secondary to the relationship (we'll adapt ourselves to the other when situations call for it).

    But on the other hand I can understand this... I feel very uncomfortable sometimes around my EII aunt (who I don't know very well at all) because I detect the subtle air of disapproval coming from her at times. And my natural tendency is to want to "deal with it" and "get rid of it" because it makes me tense. Though I make no attempts to do this (for it would not work), but just try to adapt continuing things that I notice lessen it and avoiding things that I notice increase it. Also I rely on my sister when around her, because the two of them automatically click and just seem to "get" each other. So I can sort of follow my sister's mode of interaction with my aunt. My aunt does things that seem "annoying" to me at times. For instance she hated spending holiday meals at my grandma's house. But of course she never said this. You could detect her disapproval there in this gritty tense sort of way, but of course you didn't know what was causing it (so you feel uncomfortable and helpless around it). And then one year she stopped coming to holiday meals at my grandma's entirely, instead spending them with her sister and her parents... this led my uncle her husband) to have to spend the holiday meals at both places. My aunt took years to act on her disapproval due to relationship worries. She didn't want to send the signal that she doesn't like my grandma (even though she may dislike her) and weaken the relationship.

    Then there is my grandma (ESI). The same subtle air of disapproval may surround her at times. I feel much more comfortable around her however because she flat out says it. When she doesn't like something, she says it in a somewhat biting way (or it can be perceived that way... I don't really see it that way, but others have). But at the same time her strong is there preserving the bonds of the relationship even amid the expression of strong approval or disapproval. It feels more safe because I don't feel helpless... I know what's causing the feeling of tension around her because she just comes out and says it. I know what causes these sorts of feelings with my sister as well (because I know her so well, she doesn't need to say it).

    Anyway, it's that leading can appear judgmental, but it isn't really.
    wow, your interactions with your aunt sound just like my mil and i and my sis and her are the ones who "get" each other in those ways too. so, over the years, i've learned to follow my sister's lead.

    just yesterday, i told my hubby to make spaghetti for my mil for dinner because i would make that for her and she seemed to enjoy it. he said that she said she hates spaghetti. huh? she always loved it when i made it. but, there you go. she never came out and told me she didn't like or want spaghetti and so i kept serving it to her. she does those kinds of things "behind someone's back." and then that's how she has come to "hate" me and "judge" me. I COULDN'T READ HER MIND! LOL and kept serving her things she didn't like. AHH! Please just tell me, i am more than happy to stop giving you spaghetti! instead of "preserving" the relationship, it made it so uncomfortable for both us that she doesn't even want me coming into her room anymore...

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    wow, your interactions with your aunt sound just like my mil and i and my sis and her are the ones who "get" each other in those ways too. so, over the years, i've learned to follow my sister's lead.

    just yesterday, i told my hubby to make spaghetti for my mil for dinner because i would make that for her and she seemed to enjoy it. he said that she said she hates spaghetti. huh? she always loved it when i made it. but, there you go. she never came out and told me she didn't like or want spaghetti and so i kept serving it to her. she does those kinds of things "behind someone's back." and then that's how she has come to "hate" me and "judge" me. I COULDN'T READ HER MIND! LOL and kept serving her things she didn't like. AHH! Please just tell me, i am more than happy to stop giving you spaghetti! instead of "preserving" the relationship, it made it so uncomfortable for both us that she doesn't even want me coming into her room anymore...
    i wanted to add to this that i WOULD ask her what she wanted/liked and she would say "oh, whatever you make is fine."

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    wow, your interactions with your aunt sound just like my mil and i and my sis and her are the ones who "get" each other in those ways too. so, over the years, i've learned to follow my sister's lead.

    just yesterday, i told my hubby to make spaghetti for my mil for dinner because i would make that for her and she seemed to enjoy it. he said that she said she hates spaghetti. huh? she always loved it when i made it. but, there you go. she never came out and told me she didn't like or want spaghetti and so i kept serving it to her. she does those kinds of things "behind someone's back." and then that's how she has come to "hate" me and "judge" me. I COULDN'T READ HER MIND! LOL and kept serving her things she didn't like. AHH! Please just tell me, i am more than happy to stop giving you spaghetti! instead of "preserving" the relationship, it made it so uncomfortable for both us that she doesn't even want me coming into her room anymore...
    Was it about preserving the relationship or the mood? Or was it about behaving the way she was brought up to believe she should behave?
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    but the most relevant question here I think is: why doesn't she like spaghetti? Doesn't everyone?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Was it about preserving the relationship or the mood? Or was it about behaving the way she was brought up to believe she should behave?
    ok, i don't think it was about preserving the relationship. i don't think she really cared about our relationship from long ago. the mood, a very good possibility. any kind of "confrontation" is one of the most foreign, not natural, uncomfortable things for her. she is so "selfless" in that way. she will totally give herself away for keeping the peace, the mood, the atmosphere of harmony, even if that's not how she feels inside.

    this is also how she was brought up, but i believe a person's natural inclinations would still creep in there to some extent no matter how you're raised. they may show up in unhealthy ways if the upbringing was unfavorable to a person's personality. but they will show up somehow. i think a person can't not act their type, whether it's healthy or unhealthy versions.

    now, it may also be about preserving the relationship and i don't see it that way because that is SO NOT my way of preserving a relationship. open honestly is my way. so, if it is that, i have a hard time seeing it. i know my sis does that though. but only because we've talked about it... i just thought she was being submissive and letting "others walk all over her."

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    but the most relevant question here I think is: why doesn't she like spaghetti? Doesn't everyone?
    heehee! now you sound like my dh. i love spaghetti. it's my fav!

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    bringing it back to the title of the thread.....does "keeping the peace to preserve the relationship or mood" relate to Fi or Fe? because it's definitely not logical.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    ok, i don't think it was about preserving the relationship. i don't think she really cared about our relationship from long ago. the mood, a very good possibility. any kind of "confrontation" is one of the most foreign, not natural, uncomfortable things for her. she is so "selfless" in that way. she will totally give herself away for keeping the peace, the mood, the atmosphere of harmony, even if that's not how she feels inside.
    In my mother's case it was/is about both preserving the mood and the relationship and I have very little respect for this way of doing things. "selfless" = "martyr" in the long run. "poor me, all that I give up for this family, all that I hold inside to preserve the peace. SIGH" ugh. I guess it's just an unhealthy version of EII. And, I don't think she's nearly as bad now as she used to be when we were growing up.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    In my mother's case it was/is about both preserving the mood and the relationship and I have very little respect for this way of doing things. "selfless" = "martyr" in the long run. "poor me, all that I give up for this family, all that I hold inside to preserve the peace. SIGH" ugh. I guess it's just an unhealthy version of EII. And, I don't think she's nearly as bad now as she used to be when we were growing up.
    THAT IS EXACTLY IT! exactly HER! yes, i thought EII from the beginning. i think she has always wanted everyone around her to duelize her, thus wanting everyone around her to work, work, work and Si, line everything up nice and neat.... i think she may have had some duelization then from her hubby but she has gotten "worse" about the matyrdom as she's aged....yuck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    ok, i don't think it was about preserving the relationship. i don't think she really cared about our relationship from long ago. the mood, a very good possibility. any kind of "confrontation" is one of the most foreign, not natural, uncomfortable things for her. she is so "selfless" in that way. she will totally give herself away for keeping the peace, the mood, the atmosphere of harmony, even if that's not how she feels inside.

    this is also how she was brought up, but i believe a person's natural inclinations would still creep in there to some extent no matter how you're raised. they may show up in unhealthy ways if the upbringing was unfavorable to a person's personality. but they will show up somehow. i think a person can't not act their type, whether it's healthy or unhealthy versions.

    now, it may also be about preserving the relationship and i don't see it that way because that is SO NOT my way of preserving a relationship. open honestly is my way. so, if it is that, i have a hard time seeing it. i know my sis does that though. but only because we've talked about it... i just thought she was being submissive and letting "others walk all over her."
    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    bringing it back to the title of the thread.....does "keeping the peace to preserve the relationship or mood" relate to Fi or Fe? because it's definitely not logical.
    Relationship would be related to Fi (though I don't know any Fi types who would behave precisely in the manner in which you're describing for the sole purpose of preserving the relationship), mood would be related to Fe.

    Being non-confrontational could be related to weak/unvalued Se. Also, Te dominants have a Fe Role, so sometimes they worry too much about not upsetting people. (There are plenty of logical types who behaving illogically, btw. It's a matter of whether you're using the Socionics definition or the English definition of the word "logic".)

    Anyways, people of many types could behave the way you described for a variety of reasons.

    I'm a bit confused about your mil though... you describe her as both controlling/overbearing and non-confrontational... I'm having a hard time imagining the combination.
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