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Thread: SeFi of ESFp being mistaken for Fe-dominance

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    Default SeFi of ESFp being mistaken for Fe-dominance

    Sometimes, I think I've mistaken SeFi for Fe-dominance because from a distance, their behaviour can appear very emotionally expressive. Up close, it comes across to me as 'fake' Fe though - like they're simulating emotions that they somehow think they should feel. My perceptions may not reflect reality, but this is just how it looks to me.

    I was just wondering if any SEEs could shed some light on their behaviour in terms of why they apparently feel the need to be overly-exuberant over people/things they don't really care for. Out of politeness?

    This girl I know is SEE and we don't really care for each other that much, and yet if she hasn't seen me for awhile, she greets me like a long-lost friend. Why? Idk. I feel she's just going through the motions.

    But I could be jumping to conclusions here in terms of an SEE's true motivations (in which case I apologise) - or alternatively the SEEs I know could be just badly-behaved ones. :-) Idk.

    What do you think?
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    Maybe it's just an enthusiastic (Se-like, even ) expression of Fi? I mean, she may not have been deeply, emotionally moved that she saw you, but she was probably glad to see you simply because you're someone she likes.

    Also, SEE's don't really need a reason to act that way... lol. They're just goofy sometimes. It's playfulness for its own sake... not to make you happy.
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    Ya, SEEs just like messing with people, basically.

    edit: oops, I didn't see the specific situation you were talking about. Kristiina is probably right.
    Last edited by thehotelambush; 06-06-2008 at 11:50 PM.

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    I agree with the observation that SeFi looks like Fe. This is why my ILI husband fell for me.

    Jem, the thing is, they do feel it. And when they feel it, they express it physically. After such a long time of not seeing you, she felt a strong warm feeling toward you ( is static, so the emotions are quite stable, even if she doesn't see you). She wanted to express this warm feeling and wanted you physically close. So she gave you a hug and I bet she stood really close to you for the entire encounter.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    I agree with the observation that SeFi looks like Fe. This is why my ILI husband fell for me.

    Jem, the thing is, they do feel it. And when they feel it, they express it physically. After such a long time of not seeing you, she felt a strong warm feeling toward you ( is static, so the emotions are quite stable, even if she doesn't see you). She wanted to express this warm feeling and wanted you physically close. So she gave you a hug and I bet she stood really close to you for the entire encounter.
    Yeah. :-) Idk. Maybe I've misinterpreted her. It could be my fault, because sometimes I parody her over-the-topness by responding with equal enthusiasm (because I think she must be joking) - and then she looks a bit offended.... But I feel I have to draw on my Se reserves to match her actions to some extent - otherwise I feel sort of dominated by her - like she'd completely swamp me. If that makes sense.

    But really, it's hard to take her behaviour in seriousness sometimes. On a scale of one to ten of 'out-thereness', she's got to be a twelve.
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    This is very interesting. In re: to what Kriistina said about SeFi looking like Fe and vice versa - that's probably why I appear/have appeared SEE at times and been mistaken by one for a while on these forums (mistaken by myself too!)

    I identify a lot with SEE descriptions actually, and I also think this is because EIEs have an Se hidden agenda (I have a hugeee one!) and are strong/adept in Fi.

    The difference really is in how "controlling" they are with their emotions. I want people to mirror my emotions a lot... I feel very weird if I am happy and bubbly and the other person is not responding emotionally the way I "expect" them to. I manage the emotional atmosphere, create drama for drama's sake.. and basically play with the moods of others and myself. I do not think SEEs really do that, they are just unimposing and playful.

    I am not sure if your girl is really an SEE. The SEEs I know are a lot more subdued, still fun and stuff, but not "over the top" as you described.


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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux View Post
    I am not sure if your girl is really an SEE. The SEEs I know are a lot more subdued, still fun and stuff, but not "over the top" as you described.
    Do you think she sounds like an SLE with a strong Fe hidden agenda?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    Sometimes, I think I've mistaken SeFi for Fe-dominance because from a distance, their behaviour can appear very emotionally expressive. Up close, it comes across to me as 'fake' Fe though - like they're simulating emotions that they somehow think they should feel. My perceptions may not reflect reality, but this is just how it looks to me.
    Why would a type that devalues Fe want to use it? And if they were adept in it, why would it look fake? When an SEE feels the need to use Fe, they will use it, and use it well. It won't be some over-the-top, messy affair that makes the receiver feel uncomfortable in some way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Also, SEE's don't really need a reason to act that way... lol. They're just goofy sometimes. It's playfulness for its own sake... not to make you happy.
    Right, this has been annoying me for ages; when you say "goofy" what do you mean? That they're idiots? That they like to joke? That they're foolish? That they trip on their undone shoelaces? What?

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Kristiina is probably right.
    Why Kristiina? When you posted this she hadn't even posted.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    Jem, the thing is, they do feel it. And when they feel it, they express it physically. After such a long time of not seeing you, she felt a strong warm feeling toward you ( is static, so the emotions are quite stable, even if she doesn't see you). She wanted to express this warm feeling and wanted you physically close. So she gave you a hug and I bet she stood really close to you for the entire encounter.
    So basically she was relaxing and having fun with her eighth function, no worries then?

    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux View Post
    The difference really is in how "controlling" they are with their emotions. I want people to mirror my emotions a lot... I feel very weird if I am happy and bubbly and the other person is not responding emotionally the way I "expect" them to. I manage the emotional atmosphere, create drama for drama's sake.. and basically play with the moods of others and myself. I do not think SEEs really do that, they are just unimposing and playful.
    I can flow with this.

    I am not sure if your girl is really an SEE. The SEEs I know are a lot more subdued, still fun and stuff, but not "over the top" as you described.
    I agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by hellothere View Post
    Do you think she sounds like an SLE with a strong Fe hidden agenda?
    Could be.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    Right, this has been annoying me for ages; when you say "goofy" what do you mean? That they're idiots? That they like to joke? That they're foolish? That they trip on their undone shoelaces? What?
    That they're playful and don't take themselves (or others) too seriously. (And no, they're not idiotic or clumsy.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    That they're playful and don't take themselves (or others) too seriously. (And no, they're not idiotic or clumsy.)
    How serious is too seriously? And what's your definition of playful?
    Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    How serious is too seriously? And what's your definition of playful?
    It's hard to describe without having examples to point to, but maybe it'll make more sense if we look at SEE/ILI duality.

    ILI's frequently say/do socially improper/embarrassing/awkward things, and even more frequently they stay quiet so as to avoid doing so. SEE's laugh off such "blunders" when they occur and unintentionally encourage their duals to come out of their shells through their own displays of disregard for such things. They are far more interested in having fun than they are in appearing "proper".
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    Why would a type that devalues Fe want to use it? And if they were adept in it, why would it look fake? When an SEE feels the need to use Fe, they will use it, and use it well. It won't be some over-the-top, messy affair that makes the receiver feel uncomfortable in some way.
    Yeah, I'd say that's true. Now that I've thought about it some more, I think she's just using her Se to parody Fe behaviour when she's like that. Because I've observed her using Fe, and she does look sincere then. I've come to the conclusion that she's probably making fun of my shyness by being over-the-top. Trying to get me to open up or something.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    Why Kristiina? When you posted this she hadn't even posted.
    Hence the edit.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    I agree.

    Could be.
    I find it funny that people are suggesting alternate types for a girl that I've described in a couple of sentences and from a highly subjective viewpoint. I'm describing how SEE's behaviour looks to me - that's all. Her behaviour reminds me a lot like Cameron Diaz's in interviews actually. Does this look SLE?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    Sometimes, I think I've mistaken SeFi for Fe-dominance because from a distance, their behaviour can appear very emotionally expressive. Up close, it comes across to me as 'fake' Fe though - like they're simulating emotions that they somehow think they should feel. My perceptions may not reflect reality, but this is just how it looks to me.

    I was just wondering if any SEEs could shed some light on their behaviour in terms of why they apparently feel the need to be overly-exuberant over people/things they don't really care for. Out of politeness?

    This girl I know is SEE and we don't really care for each other that much, and yet if she hasn't seen me for awhile, she greets me like a long-lost friend. Why? Idk. I feel she's just going through the motions.

    But I could be jumping to conclusions here in terms of an SEE's true motivations (in which case I apologise) - or alternatively the SEEs I know could be just badly-behaved ones. :-) Idk.

    What do you think?
    we don't act overly excited about things we don't care about generally unless we think we can gain sumthin from our relationship with sumone. one thing about Fe vs. Se Fi is that Se Fi generates emotions from what's going on in ur environment at the present moment. so our emotions can seem very over exaggerated to others but in reality we truly feel that way. fe tends to yes seem to be over the top but not irrationally so... like it's still in the bounds of what can be considered a normal reaction socially.
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    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive View Post
    we don't act overly excited about things we don't care about generally unless we think we can gain sumthin from our relationship with sumone. one thing about Fe vs. Se Fi is that Se Fi generates emotions from what's going on in ur environment at the present moment. so our emotions can seem very over exaggerated to others but in reality we truly feel that way. fe tends to yes seem to be over the top but not irrationally so... like it's still in the bounds of what can be considered a normal reaction socially.
    Are you meaning that I may be taking what actually is the SEE's reaction to their overall environment to be a reaction to me?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    Are you meaning that I may be taking what actually is the SEE's reaction to their overall environment to be a reaction to me?
    i would say yes to this too. a lot of people react to me that way too. as well as the using Se to parody Fe behavior.

    that pose of your friends is so familiar down to my bones.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    Are you meaning that I may be taking what actually is the SEE's reaction to their overall environment to be a reaction to me?
    no her reaction to u=reaction to her overall environment
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    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive View Post
    no her reaction to u=reaction to her overall environment
    I'm not exactly sure what you mean. Say she doesn't like me, but acts friendly towards me. Do you mean that this is the case because she has a good feeling towards her overall environment and I'm part of that? So she'd act differently towards me if we were alone?
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