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Thread: when did you realize people process information differently?

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    Default when did you realize people process information differently?

    The title pretty much says it. It took me I think longer than most to realize this. Perhaps it is because I'm an leading but before socionics I really did think that people processed information the same way as I did as ignorant as that sounds. I'd attribute differences in people to reasons why I would act differently if I were them rather than oh that's just them. I'm not quite sure what that would relate to in socionics really though. I did realize early on with two valuing parents that my was different but I thought it was a problem with me rather than a different way of processing information. I think intuitive types may have figured out that they were different from others or that others were different from each other earlier on than sensing types but thats just my hypothesis. So a couple questions:

    1. When did you realize people processed information differently before you learned about socionics if socionics didn't introduce you to that notion.

    2. Do you think there are certain types or functions that figure this out earlier than others?
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    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive View Post
    1. When did you realize people processed information differently before you learned about socionics if socionics didn't introduce you to that notion.
    I think it's something I've always "known" at some level, although I had problems accepting it and its full implications.



    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive View Post
    2. Do you think there are certain types or functions that figure this out earlier than others?
    I've thought about it but I'm not sure. I think it's and , not necessarily together. If true, that would imply that it's LSIs and SLEs for whom the concept appears the oddest (which, before anyone says it, it's not to say that they can't grasp it).
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    1. I knew there were people who thought about things differently, but I would have never thought of it as functions or any sort of theory. I just considered it as "people being different". I may have been able to sense the different energy patterns, though, early on. I just had no idea what they were. Energy patterns, as in, termperments, but also the different type of energy that, for example, an ISFp has from an ISTj or an ISFj. That feeling has always been there, but socionics allows for some terminology to understand and discuss such.

    2. What comes to mind when I think about people who can grasp this are people who already have developed a sense of self-awareness and awareness in general. Perhaps even some sort of "spiritual awareness". Some sort of awareness that gets you beyond the constant flow of stimulus and response/reaction. The more space, or awareness of the space, between stimulus and response - the more easily the understanding of socionics might come.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I thought that's something that people just automatically understand?
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    i knew at a very young age and like allie, i would argue and want to rearrange their brains! BUT, i knew at a young age about CHILDREN, my peers and for myself. i knew that *I* thought differently than others and then thought i was a freak. and at the same time, ADULTS thought differently than me and i thought they were freaks.

    i remember being in grade school and "watching" all of the interactions between my teacher and other students. i knew instinctively that the adult was not respecting the children's way of being. i knew instinctively that this child needed it explained "this way" and this other child needed it explained "that way." and because the adult was not doing that and demanding that each child "understand" things in the HER way of explaining it, i HATED adults, i thought they were all stupid and didn't care about kids at all and didn't respect them for being different than them. (i didn't do well in school because this was all i could "notice" going on. well, i did a few subjects very well, but, those just kinda came natural, like math and child development)

    knowing that children each were different, but it did not extend to adults. i thought adults show "grow up" into people that thought the way i did about understanding that kids were each unique individuals that deserved to be respected for their own way of seeing things and doing things. the irony is dripping. but, that's what happened for me.

    it's taken and continues to take, my own adulthood to let go of that notion about adults. i am the way i wanted adults to be with me, with kids. but, i have a hard time being that way with adults. it's gotten better over the years but it has been a struggle, meaning, i've worked a lot within myself with it.

    the main way i have been able to "see" it in adults is by seeing them as they were as kids, seeing their inner child, and then "aha!" then i know. then and in an instant, i know and see exactly what's going on in them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    Why would it be?
    Because different people see the same situation in different ways? Obviously there's a matter of perspective based on personal experience as well, but there's more to it than that.

    "Different people's brains work differently" just seems obvious to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Because different people see the same situation in different ways? Obviously there's a matter of perspective based on personal experience as well, but there's more to it than that.

    "Different people's brains work differently" just seems obvious to me.
    it may seem obvious NOW, you've been studying this stuff for years. the question is WHEN did you really realize it? or did you have the understanding from the beginning?

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    i knew at a very young age and like allie, i would argue and want to rearrange their brains! BUT, i knew at a young age about CHILDREN, my peers and for myself. i knew that *I* thought differently than others and then thought i was a freak. and at the same time, ADULTS thought differently than me and i thought they were freaks.

    i remember being in grade school and "watching" all of the interactions between my teacher and other students. i knew instinctively that the adult was not respecting the children's way of being. i knew instinctively that this child needed it explained "this way" and this other child needed it explained "that way." and because the adult was not doing that and demanding that each child "understand" things in the HER way of explaining it, i HATED adults, i thought they were all stupid and didn't care about kids at all and didn't respect them for being different than them. (i didn't do well in school because this was all i could "notice" going on. well, i did a few subjects very well, but, those just kinda came natural, like math and child development)

    knowing that children each were different, but it did not extend to adults. i thought adults show "grow up" into people that thought the way i did about understanding that kids were each unique individuals that deserved to be respected for their own way of seeing things and doing things. the irony is dripping. but, that's what happened for me.

    it's taken and continues to take, my own adulthood to let go of that notion about adults. i am the way i wanted adults to be with me, with kids. but, i have a hard time being that way with adults. it's gotten better over the years but it has been a struggle, meaning, i've worked a lot within myself with it.

    the main way i have been able to "see" it in adults is by seeing them as they were as kids, seeing their inner child, and then "aha!" then i know. then and in an instant, i know and see exactly what's going on in them.
    as a kid, I believed that ultimately we'd all arrive at the same place as adults, i.e. we'd process info similarly... I realized that this def wasn't gonna happen sometime during high school... I went to a prep school--boarding in a dorm at that age was eye-opening re: what info was important to ppl and why. Til then I believed that I could 'convert' ppl to my point of view, to my way of processing info--after that, no.

    Socionics has taught me how ppl process info differently.
    Last edited by JuJu; 06-03-2008 at 06:26 PM.

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    I think I've always more or less understood and realized it; I think I had noticed both the "clubs" and E,I and J,P tendencies (even if I didn't name them properly, or rather accordingly to the way they're named by the theory), although I hadn't noticed the quadra separation. Anyway, since I started arguing at a young age, it seemed obvious to me that I placed priority on different things in comparison to other people, etc etc
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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    it may seem obvious NOW, you've been studying this stuff for years. the question is WHEN did you really realize it? or did you have the understanding from the beginning?
    I can't remember ever not knowing it, though looking at it from a developmental perspective I obviously couldn't have been born with that knowledge. I remember a time when I was five when I started questioning why people disagreed with each other and why people held different opinions on the same subject. I remember at that point realizing that people just think differently and value different things.

    I also remember observing as a young child how different people with similar perspectives and values still respond differently in the same situation. For example, if I asked my dad if I could do something, he'd say "ask your mom", and then if I asked her she'd say "ask your dad", and if I said "he said to ask you", she'd say no a fair amount of the time. If I did it the other way, asked her and then asked him, then say that she said to ask him, he'd almost always say yes.

    I'd wonder why certain kids at school were rowdier than others, why different siblings in a family behaved differently regardless of having the same upbringing, why some people liked certain types of foods or music and others didn't, why some people mowed their lawn everyday and others only once every week or two, why different kids in a group behaved better for some teachers and others for other teachers, etc.

    These are the types of things I'd ponder quite a bit as a child (not that it was all that I pondered... I'd also wonder about things like the non-physical world, and I spend a lot of time wondering what things looked like from where I'm standing 100 years ago, 1000 years ago, and what they'll look like 100 years and 1000 years in the future). So I guess my answer is that I think as soon as I was developmentally ready as a child (that is, made it beyond object permanence and other such concepts, lol), I began noticing differences in people's behavior, attitudes, and opinions and asking myself why different people felt and thought differently. I came up with various answers, but the understanding that the differences in processing and behavior lie beyond differences in personal experience seemed to have been there since a very early age.

    I think all of this time pondering is part of what won me a diagnosis of ADD, actually.

    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    Then why would you assume people just automatically know that? If their brains work differently then certainly it makes sense that some people would not look at things that way, and would instead see everyone as strange versions of themselves.
    You're right. I do remember wondering why some people were so intolerant of the differences between themselves and others.
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    Before I knew about socionics, my general perception of other peoples thought process was pretty simple ...: "they are stupid" ... that was the extent of my thoughts regarding how they processed information. i knew they were different then me, thats for sure. I thought they were all crazy and stupid. .. I still think so, but I am now smart enough to include myself into the crazy/stupid category too.
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    I think I realised quite early on, but socionics has helped me articulate the differences much more clearly. I think growing up my with a dual father and a super-ego mother meant I was more attuned to these differences. I kept wondering why Mom didn't seem understand what we were saying to her.

    I think the first moment I realised that I was different from those around me (not different in the sense of 'special' but different in that I had my own mind and possibly, my own way of thinking/percieving] when I was 10. I still remember the moment of clarity very distinctly:

    Whenever I think about these thoughts, I think back to the moment all this started in my head. I was 9, about to turn 10, in the 4th grade and I was standing in the playground, as everyone ran around me, screaming and laughing. And that was the one moment I looked around and realised the discontinuity between the self and world. That I realised that I was a singular ‘self’: that my consciousness was not fused with the consciousness of those around me. That their thoughts and moods were so deeply cleaved from mine that I had no way of accessing them. Here I stood: and who was to say that the world I saw, smelled, touched and believed to be, in fact was?
    I wrote the above passage explaining to someone why I was a post-structuralist and why I saw reality as constructed, but it was the beginning of awareness of difference for me. Socionics has just given a language to articulate all the differences I noticed in the way other people interacted with other people and with the world generally.
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    hm.. i think 8 or so. I remember saying something to my friend, probably my dual or something, and I said "don't you think this" and they are like no. I thought they were lying but I thought she said it sincerely, so I thought about it more. It wasn't just that incident, but I am rememebering this incident.

    Also I think i used to think i was smarter than I am for a while after age 8. I think socionics has really made me think a bit different about others, and i started studying that maybe when i was 25 (a few years ago).

    I also agree that the Se people in my life do seem to be less aware of others' thought processes. I do have a lot more experience with Se people underestimating someone else's real abilities than others.

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    I know everything, so why wouldn't I have known this for all my life?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    hm.. i think 8 or so. I remember saying something to my friend, probably my dual or something, and I said "don't you think this" and they are like no. I thought they were lying but I thought she said it sincerely, so I thought about it more. It wasn't just that incident, but I am rememebering this incident.

    Also I think i used to think i was smarter than I am for a while after age 8. I think socionics has really made me think a bit different about others, and i started studying that maybe when i was 25 (a few years ago).

    I also agree that the Se people in my life do seem to be less aware of others' thought processes. I do have a lot more experience with Se people underestimating someone else's real abilities than others.
    now that i think about it, i remember when i was 5 and had this little boy best friend. we were up in my room playing when i asked him if i could stick my tongue out at him. he said no and i kept at it. i said something like "it's not personal, it's just for fun." and he kept saying no. i completely did not understand how he could think that me doing that was rude in any way, especially because we were best friends playing and i asked him and told him it wasn't personal. he insisted and i did it anyway. i couldn't not.

    he ran away crying and i freaked out thinking, "what have i done?! i've lost my best friend? i don't understand why he would freak out about this whole thing when it was all in fun and playing." i ran after him but did not catch him on the way back to his house.

    our relationship was never the same again. and it was the beginning of me really questioning why people acted the way they did, because i just naturally did not understand it. from then on, i observed and questioned and observed and questioned. i ended up "sticking my tongue out" at a lot of people along the way to see who could "handle it." not many, not many at all. so, i kept at trying to figure people out so that maybe, just maybe, i could learn how not to stick my tongue out and help others with understanding that sticking their tongue out is not the only way to be with others if you want to keep them as your friend.

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    1. Shortly after my parents separated when I was about 5. People expected me to have deep and troubling issues with it so they send me to a child psychologist to deal with things. I never really cared that much because I didn't see why I should be upset (perhaps Fi PoLR at it's earliest, lol). Then I went to this shrink and she kept talking to me in a way that was totally ridiculous to me. I just wanted the candy she gave me. So I realized that she wanted to hear certain things, I said those things to her, got my candy, and waited until the next time I was supposed to visit. From then on I realized that some people just don't see things in the same way I do. I think the lady might have been ESE. I just remember thinking that she wasn't very smart and that she was too stuck in the concrete. She was we too doting, trying too hard to appeal to this childish side in me, which I found insulting. From there I started to pick out similar pieces from other people. Some people were more emotional, some people were thinkers like me, some people had crazy imaginations, others always had pretty clothes. Gradually all of that started to make more concrete sense to me, but I started noticing it after my parents separated.

    2. I agree that and will probably be more tuned to those kinds of possibilities. Ne is going to look for the possibilities and Fi is going to be analyzing the ways people relate. That being said, will also be trying to piece together how someone is thinking, their logical train of thought, so they'll probably see it fairly early as well.
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    I don't remember ever having not known it. But then I have 3 siblings, and we're all totally different though we've experienced the same upbringings, so it's a pretty obvious conclusion to come to. I knew that I could say something to one of my brothers and he'd laugh while the other one would get offended by the same thing. I knew everyone saw things differently, but at the same time, I think I thought that the way I saw things was more 'correct' than some other people. For instance when Mum and Dad argued I would always think that Dad made sense while Mum didn't, and I'd think 'why can't she see she's wrong and just apologise?' So I guess I accepted that people were different, but thought that some people just couldn't see things the right way.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    1. Shortly after my parents separated when I was about 5. People expected me to have deep and troubling issues with it so they send me to a child psychologist to deal with things. I never really cared that much because I didn't see why I should be upset (perhaps Fi PoLR at it's earliest, lol). Then I went to this shrink and she kept talking to me in a way that was totally ridiculous to me. I just wanted the candy she gave me. So I realized that she wanted to hear certain things, I said those things to her, got my candy, and waited until the next time I was supposed to visit. From then on I realized that some people just don't see things in the same way I do. I think the lady might have been ESE. I just remember thinking that she wasn't very smart and that she was too stuck in the concrete. She was we too doting, trying too hard to appeal to this childish side in me, which I found insulting. From there I started to pick out similar pieces from other people. Some people were more emotional, some people were thinkers like me, some people had crazy imaginations, others always had pretty clothes. Gradually all of that started to make more concrete sense to me, but I started noticing it after my parents separated.

    2. I agree that and will probably be more tuned to those kinds of possibilities. Ne is going to look for the possibilities and Fi is going to be analyzing the ways people relate. That being said, will also be trying to piece together how someone is thinking, their logical train of thought, so they'll probably see it fairly early as well.
    are ESEs that mushy and doting? if so, that's not me. everything i do with and for my kids has an intellectual purpose behind it. even when i act all Fe like, i have to make myself and i do it purposefully for a reason in their development. that doesn't come naturally. analyzing people does though.

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    I think I operated from a very early age on the assumption that I could do what I wanted, rather than wondering if I should do what others do ... my Mom is full of stories about how even as a toddler I preferred to play alone and wandered off constantly by myself. From the time I got in kindergarten I knew I was different than the other kids ...
    But funnily enough, that didn't lead me to wonder how other people are (besides different than me) until I guess high school. I didn't start having friends until I was about 14. Thank goodness for band and for Brandt; otherwise who knows how long I would have been content in my entirely self-centered world!
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    1. Shortly after my parents separated when I was about 5. People expected me to have deep and troubling issues with it so they send me to a child psychologist to deal with things. I never really cared that much because I didn't see why I should be upset (perhaps Fi PoLR at it's earliest, lol). Then I went to this shrink and she kept talking to me in a way that was totally ridiculous to me. I just wanted the candy she gave me. So I realized that she wanted to hear certain things, I said those things to her, got my candy, and waited until the next time I was supposed to visit. From then on I realized that some people just don't see things in the same way I do. I think the lady might have been ESE. I just remember thinking that she wasn't very smart and that she was too stuck in the concrete. She was we too doting, trying too hard to appeal to this childish side in me, which I found insulting. From there I started to pick out similar pieces from other people. Some people were more emotional, some people were thinkers like me, some people had crazy imaginations, others always had pretty clothes. Gradually all of that started to make more concrete sense to me, but I started noticing it after my parents separated.
    If the Fe was so doting, it may have been weak-Fe that was not very in-tune with your actual emotional experience.
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    It was when I was four and realized that my best friend really had no idea what I was talking about but seemed to understand other things...later (high school) I found that there was information to be had from other avenues than Intuitive Thinking...

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    I realized that about a month ago when I was going through my socionics moments that I go through every day.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    analyzing the ways people relate. That being said, will also be trying to piece together how someone is thinking, their logical train of thought, so they'll probably see it fairly early as well.
    I don't think in itself has much to do with noticing other peoples different ways of thinking, because most ESTps especially tend to suck at it and are prone to stereotyping. When Ti types get angry they also really really really suck at seeing anything you say to them in any way besides the way their Ti has already judged it to be.

    In regards to the original post I've found that the types slowest to realize and accept that individuals are inherently different in how they see things are ESFj, ESTp, ESTj, and ESFps with strong Se. I have found that people of those types are quick to justify the way they do things as "most natural" and thus are quick to judge people that don't value the functions that they primarily value (i.e. for ESFj Fe-Si, ESTp Se-Ti etc.) as being 'neurotic'/
    unhealthy'/'immature'. Now of course there's particularly bright people of said types, that this doesn't apply to, but they're particularly bright.

    Also I think that while plays a role in allowing someone to more quickly realize that people are different, seems better at picking out the patterns of behaviour, over time, that make up the differences.

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat View Post
    I've thought about it but I'm not sure. I think it's and , not necessarily together. If true, that would imply that it's LSIs and SLEs for whom the concept appears the oddest (which, before anyone says it, it's not to say that they can't grasp it).
    importance seems to be that it allows you to put yourself in someone else's shoes, so types with strong Fi can come closer than others to seeing what another person sees and feeling what another person feels. Fi seems easily blocked by Se though.

    When it comes to the socionics type that's best able to empathize with differences in others, strong and definitely, in my opinion more than not, go hand-in-hand, and a bright EII is by far the best at recognizing and accepting differences in others.
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    Of course it was easy to see from early age that individuals are somehow different from each other. However it probably never occurred to me that they could be grouped like socionics does. That these groups have common values which differ from other groups. Then the concept of identical, duality and conflictor (and what that means) was something which I totally didn't see before. Perhaps identicality was something more obvious of the three but concepts of duality and conflictor and their difference were something which never occurred to me before socionics.

    I think I naturally see differences way better than commonalities. That's why I used to focus on differences instead of commonalities. Now I can see the commonalities much better since I am aware of their existence. Hmm..I think there is a Reinin dichotomy or function to explain that differences vs commonalities perception bias.

  29. #29
    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    I can't ever remember not knowing that people processed information differently. Maybe this has something to do with being a Ni type.

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    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    I remember always having a "sense" that people understood and processed things differently. The older I got, the clearer this became and the more I began to analyze "why" and "how" this happens.

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