SEI general $hit chat thread

[Khola aka Bee]

I've decided we need one of these to just chat about the goings on and musings of our SEI lives and those who populate them.

I'm going to start by complaining.. and then I promise I'll lighten up. I think I'm hitting an SEI emo period here, be warned.

Nick actually made me angry enough at him to get me to yell at him in a supermarket today. He is doing my fucking head in. I went out to buy supplies for his party ($200 worth, mind you), even though we're broken up, EVEN though he has done nothing but whine at me for who knows for how long, because I want things to go smoothly for him, and I want him to remember his 25th and a momentus and enjoyable night of coming of age, not for the fact that were about to kill each other around that time.

So yeah, wandering around the supermarket and bottle shop buying slabs of mexican beer, tequila, chicken, chillli for his "mexicana" 25th, and he started carrying on, storming off on me with the trolley whinging about how he doesn't want it now and how everything is somehow my fault and oh, no I want fresh food from the market not this store bought stuff.

Mind you I work full time and commute three hours a day. I have zero time and I'm sacrificing what little I have to make his life memorable for all the right reasons, even though at this point, I don't technically owe him anything.

He got me so upset and pissed off that we ended up leaving, and he's sulking about his party AGAIN now.

He is driving me insane. I'm getting the paperwork in order ASAP at this rate.

I also might be going to Sydney with possible ENTp friend for a few days. At this point I don't care if turns out to be ENTj. I am boiling over here!!!


Ok, *SEI*RAGE* over. Sorry. If you haven't guessed, I have noone IRL to talk about this with because he wants it to be a "secret" that we're not together anymore "just in case", so I'm basically going insane from the inside out.

/woe is me


Also today I made a K-rad joke about Quantum Mechanics vs Shroedingers Cat and the effects on pigeons on railway lines.

Answer. Many pigeon spread throughout space and time and a train full of confused and irritated passengers listening to SEI jokes that they don't really appreciate at 7am.

See, not all bad!!


Share your crap with me SEIs. Much love for the $hit chat thread!

[Charismatik]

... your post made me think. Do you think that SEIs tend to be pushovers towards the ones we love? Like, we do too much? I've noticed a similiar pattern in my relationships, in general. I do too much- happily and willingly- and then when it's not appreciated, I get upset. It's like I'm hesitant to highlight that I'm trying hard and/or doing something special, but when it goes unnoticed, I feel used. Is this a common SEI tendency, do you think?

And I actually made a Schroedinger's Cat joke the other day too, which I thought was kind of freaky since you just posted that. It was about the blank tiles in Scrabble.

[Khola aka Bee]

Lol. At least somebody gets my humour then!!

I'd say your thoughts on SEI relationships are spot on there. Like, I don't want a big fuss but I do want to feel appreciated, rather than used and resentful.

[Khola aka Bee]

Hi ALLIE!! I'm full of tequlia and beer!! HAIDhaihdhrwbrwjafgcaewh!

[diljs]

I appreciate all you do for me SEIs.

[Khola aka Bee]

Is that a money shot in your av?

<3

[angelalala]

Communication between me (ILE) and my boyfriend (SEI) is so frustrating. On the whole, I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells once we bypass superficial/playful communication. By that, I mean the kind of talks you would have in a more sincere way. Specifically, figuring what to do or fighting.

I don't know how many times he's come to pick me up, I've hopped in the car and a conversation about what to do turns into him obviously frustrated/ borderline pissed at me because I haven't "told him where we are going." It feels like everything we decide to do is up to me! Usually I can come up with an idea, but sometimes I really just don't have a preference and am happy to do whatever. I don't care what we do, but it's somehow ALWAYS my responsibility to lead MR. SEI around like a taxi driver. Hello?! I actually care about what you want to do and I want us to do something which yields the most happiness for both of us

What is even more frustrating is the occasional conversation that follows when we're both just about to go to sleep.

Me: So, today was lots of fun. I'm going to bed, loves you (Or, you know, something along the lines of that)
Him: Ok.
Me: Yea, so, um, do you want to come with me?
Him: No, that's okay.
Me: Oh, ok. Well I guess you aren't tired yet. That's okay, do you care if I just get some sleep while you do your thing?
Him. Yep that's fine. I'm actually exhausted.
Me: ...okay.
Him: Yea I have a 10 page paper on the *whatever whatever super hard course that sucks to work for*
Me. WHAT! OMG! That sucks! How much is left?
Him About 10 pages...
Me Wow, I had no idea. I mean, you probably wanted to do that today huh?
Him (feeling exasperated) ....yea....
Me (feeling a mixture of sympathy, confusion, frustration)


This conversation is (almost) always followed by some random remarks the next day about how he "didn't get enough sleep," "probably failed the paper," "Shouldn't have been out all day.

By this point, I have no patience on the subject. All I can do in the future is try and figure out what he wants to do, which means prying and making him think about that and decide, which isn't going to happen and only escalates situations.

It feels like, no matter what I do adjust my behaviour, tone, level of patience, I can't get around this. I can't figure out how I can change what I'm doing to make this situation work.


Oh, and don't even get me started on disagreements. Not fights, simple disagreements. There is like.... ZERO output from him. BAH. I just rhuminate and go over the same things look for any semblance of human interaction! Hello?! do you understand me? I don't like arguing either but neither of us reads minds so....come on.

We'd both enjoy our time together a lot more if we were both doing something we wanted to be doing. And, this situation is ridiculous because we are both very easily amused, life loving, go with the flow, happy people. It'd be easy for us to agree... but 'figuring out what to do' always turns into doing what I want to do. Doing what "I want to do" isn't necessarily fun for me, because the fun thing about hanging out with other people is when they are enjoying themselves. Me saying that I'd enjoy playing foosball doesn't mean that foosball is going to be fun if the other person is just standing there, half-heartedly playing! I mean, I'm not four and you aren't babysitting me, so don't try and pretend to be amused with things you don't care about because I'm not that freaking self-involved !


BAH! My head asplode... thanks for letting me rant!

[Khola aka Bee]

That's really sweet. I understand something about one of my friends now. Being an SEI, I refuse to decide because it is unfair to be greedy and do what you want to do when others might really want to do something else, if that make you feel better?

[Khola aka Bee]

Here's a random flower I painted last year.

[calenwen]

Communication between me (ILE) and my boyfriend (SEI) is so frustrating. On the whole, I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells once we bypass superficial/playful communication. By that, I mean the kind of talks you would have in a more sincere way. Specifically, figuring what to do or fighting.

I don't know how many times he's come to pick me up, I've hopped in the car and a conversation about what to do turns into him obviously frustrated/ borderline pissed at me because I haven't "told him where we are going." It feels like everything we decide to do is up to me! Usually I can come up with an idea, but sometimes I really just don't have a preference and am happy to do whatever. I don't care what we do, but it's somehow ALWAYS my responsibility to lead MR. SEI around like a taxi driver. Hello?! I actually care about what you want to do and I want us to do something which yields the most happiness for both of us

What is even more frustrating is the occasional conversation that follows when we're both just about to go to sleep.

Me: So, today was lots of fun. I'm going to bed, loves you (Or, you know, something along the lines of that)
Him: Ok.
Me: Yea, so, um, do you want to come with me?
Him: No, that's okay.
Me: Oh, ok. Well I guess you aren't tired yet. That's okay, do you care if I just get some sleep while you do your thing?
Him. Yep that's fine. I'm actually exhausted.
Me: ...okay.
Him: Yea I have a 10 page paper on the *whatever whatever super hard course that sucks to work for*
Me. WHAT! OMG! That sucks! How much is left?
Him About 10 pages...
Me Wow, I had no idea. I mean, you probably wanted to do that today huh?
Him (feeling exasperated) ....yea....
Me (feeling a mixture of sympathy, confusion, frustration)


This conversation is (almost) always followed by some random remarks the next day about how he "didn't get enough sleep," "probably failed the paper," "Shouldn't have been out all day.

By this point, I have no patience on the subject. All I can do in the future is try and figure out what he wants to do, which means prying and making him think about that and decide, which isn't going to happen and only escalates situations.

It feels like, no matter what I do adjust my behaviour, tone, level of patience, I can't get around this. I can't figure out how I can change what I'm doing to make this situation work.


Oh, and don't even get me started on disagreements. Not fights, simple disagreements. There is like.... ZERO output from him. BAH. I just rhuminate and go over the same things look for any semblance of human interaction! Hello?! do you understand me? I don't like arguing either but neither of us reads minds so....come on.

We'd both enjoy our time together a lot more if we were both doing something we wanted to be doing. And, this situation is ridiculous because we are both very easily amused, life loving, go with the flow, happy people. It'd be easy for us to agree... but 'figuring out what to do' always turns into doing what I want to do. Doing what "I want to do" isn't necessarily fun for me, because the fun thing about hanging out with other people is when they are enjoying themselves. Me saying that I'd enjoy playing foosball doesn't mean that foosball is going to be fun if the other person is just standing there, half-heartedly playing! I mean, I'm not four and you aren't babysitting me, so don't try and pretend to be amused with things you don't care about because I'm not that freaking self-involved !


BAH! My head asplode... thanks for letting me rant!

Okay, so I dated an ILE for about 13 months. (We broke up about a year ago.) And we would definitely have minor confrontations kind of like this and I would mainly get frustrated with him for a.) caring about what he wanted to do and not bothering to ask me what I wanted to do and b.) talking too much at the wrong times.