Totally frustrated

[Blaze]

does anybody in alpha ever feel like this? that things won't change, that you're treading water, same old same old?

it's been two years since i got divorced or very nearly. my exhusband had an affair with a woman we both worked with....he got fired...she and i still both work at the same place. thankfully, not in the same office. but still. i would like to get the fuck out of here and into the next job. i have had no luck. at my level (mid management) other agencies generally want to promote from within. over the last couple of weeks i made it to the home stretch on two different jobs only to be told, we decided on an internal candidate. please, all i want to do is move on. why don't i seem to be able to do that?

second, my house. i want out of there. i don't want to live where i lived with him. the housing market is in the shitter, i can't sell and i don't think i can rent it right now since i don't have enough cash to buy something else.

third, relationship. i kind of want things to move forward but it's not there yet. don't get me wrong it's not like things are bad but it's like kind of at a standstill and there's not a lot going.

these are big areas of life. i'm over the emotional part of getting divorced but i WANT TO MOVE ON.

don't get me wrong it's not that i'm not grateful for the things i have but i don't know what to do next. i keep trying to get things to move and they are not moving and i hate hate hate the same old boring stagnant set up. plus i want to change the things that are connected to my marriage. in a big way.

it sucks already having to see him and deal with him on a weekly basis. it sucks having to see the ghosts of my marriage and the memory of everything that happened wherever i look. is it so wrong for me to be asking God for a change? i will do whatever work is necessary, just get me on to the next thing. please.

[Creepy-bg]

have you considered something outside middle management? if it stresses you out that much being there it's probably a good idea to get out. Then again I suppose there's money issues with the kids and all... gotta keep the man happy so they'll be able to bankrupt you with college . I don't know... maybe if you change just one of those things it would be enough to make the others bearable?

anywho... I feel for ya. life just sucks sometimes

[Blaze]

thanx d00d. nice to hear some support from my dual i'm sure things will get better eventually.

let's get small....

[tcaudilllg]

Maybe all this stuff isn't "you"; maybe you should let it go. Perhaps all or most of it.

Instead of looking for a better job, you should probably try to find people with similar beliefs to your own. That will make you happier in the long run. The best job for you may not pay as well as does the job you have now, or it might pay the same.

If you're not a creative leader (that is, you do not specifically train your intuition to ideas that you know will improve the harmony of the world around you) you're going to hit a career ceiling no matter what.... Like as not, people equate novelty with talent.

If you are a creative leader, then you should pull back into your intuition and come up with a crazy idea that, hey, just might work. Could make you more marketable.

If you're not, then you should appeal to people you admire for their advice. Perhaps you could work under them.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Blaze]

I think no matter what type or quadra, we all feel this way at some point. Man, I was frustrated for a long time just hanging in that limbo, never getting to move forward. I filed for divorce myself a year and a half ago, and it's still just hanging in place not finalized, not moving forward. And a whole new set of circumstances arose to deal with. I think what finally got my perspective to change was realizing that I'm not trapped. I don't HAVE to do anything, and I can do anything I want.

It's you know, like that quote "a wise man will be prepared to abandon his baggage several times in a lifetime" or something like that. There wasn't much more holding me to my particular circumstances than fear; fear of letting go of one branch in case there isn't another one to grab hold of. Finally I realized that I'll be okay no matter what happens. There's always been a net to catch me, I trust there always will be. It's like what you said about feeling like you're treading water. Thrashing around in the water, and you stay in place, but if you stop and float, you can glide anywhere you want.

Another thing, don't compromise on what you actually want for fear that you won't get it. Go for it, and see what happens.

yeah i hear ya on this for sure. i have this driving need to get things to change i guess. always have. but floating would be a change of pace perhaps a welcome one.

i'm not exactly sure of what small changes i would make. i'm not used to small changes, only big ones. lol.

@tcaud: i agree with you theoretically. practical application, not so much....there are specifics to my field that would be hard to discuss here without getting super technical.

[tcaudilllg]

yeah i hear ya on this for sure. i have this driving need to get things to change i guess. always have. but floating would be a change of pace perhaps a welcome one.

i'm not exactly sure of what small changes i would make. i'm not used to small changes, only big ones. lol.

@tcaud: i agree with you theoretically. practical application, not so much....there are specifics to my field that would be hard to discuss here without getting super technical.

Try.

[Cheesy]

If you feel that you cannot make small changes in your life as it is now, in order to better them then maybe you should make a big change.. All I know is that if you're miserable/really bored/think that your life sucks then a change is necessary. Find the roots of the problem, ask yourself what really sucks in your life (maybe it's you that you should change) and aim to change that!

I think the greatest thing about being humans is that we possess the ability to grow, change and alter ourselves into what could help us be happier in life.

[misutii]

omg I'm stressed as hell too. Just got my own place finally but getting a job is taking longer than I thought. Student debt creditors are constantly sending letters to my parent's house, which I've been ignoring because I can't even begin to imagine how I'll pay off my student loans at this point and I already applied for interest relief but either my poor Te was responsible for repeatedly fudging simple paperwork or the government office is run by idiots that want me to do the same thing over and over. Now my credit's going to go to hell but I couldn't care less because I have rent to pay, am low on food, too poor to go out and socialize with others, and half my budget is being spent on cigarettes, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Khola aka Bee]

I can actually kind-of identify with you, although only somewhat loosely. Let go and move on, even if it means doing something completely different. You need it. You only live once. I hope things get better soon.

[Blaze]

omg I'm stressed as hell too. Just got my own place finally but getting a job is taking longer than I thought. Student debt creditors are constantly sending letters to my parent's house, which I've been ignoring because I can't even begin to imagine how I'll pay off my student loans at this point and I already applied for interest relief but either my poor Te was responsible for repeatedly fudging simple paperwork or the government office is run by idiots that want me to do the same thing over and over. Now my credit's going to go to hell but I couldn't care less because I have rent to pay, am low on food, too poor to go out and socialize with others, and half my budget is being spent on cigarettes, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

d00d i've been there. what type of job are you looking for?

the economy in the US is not good. so the job market is extremely competitive. what about canada? are canadians feeling the squeeze, too?

[misutii]

d00d i've been there. what type of job are you looking for?

the economy in the US is not good. so the job market is extremely competitive. what about canada? are canadians feeling the squeeze, too?

I'm in Toronto which is a HUGE mess of urban sprawl that's always growing so the economy is not being hit too bad I don't think, but there's something fishy about it. I know Western Canada (i.e. Calgary) is practically booming at the moment due to the Alberta oil sands. Over here I should be able to find a job it's just a matter of sitting at my computer for a few hours and doing the same thing over and over and over until it finally works and someone notices my resumee. The main problem is that I lack experience. Also I'm looking for a communications related job and I'm finding that these are rarely advertised online so I have to find companies through google and go to their website and blindly apply. I don't know, it's like I'm doing the same thing and expecting different results over and over and this makes me very insecure. I think if I was looking for a marketing position it would be a bit easier because I see plenty of marketing jobs advertised. Still I've noticed that it's taking recent graduates a longer time than it should to get a job over here (like months, even my quasi-cousin who has a masters in HR could only secure a 3 month contract position after 3 months of job searching) and it's been reported that people around my age (early-mid 20s) are increasingly living with their parents longer as life becomes more expensive. I just moved out of my parent's place because they live in the suburbs and the suburbs makes me neurotic so I'm living on the cheap.

I think I'm pretty good at living in poverty so my expenses are pretty low and luckily my dad has his own business and lets me work for him occasionally in the meantime so I can cover my basic expenses but still make no mistake about it I'm by no means independent. Also there's this shameful aura around living like this (on the brink of poverty) that makes me not want to go out and talk to people for fear they'll notice what a pathetic sitation I'm in. It's like "Hi, what do you do?", "Hi, well I'm a full-time loser at the moment" lol