ENTps on friendships and clubbing

[EllaC]

Thanks muchly for everyones ideas and advice on all the other threads I've posted... been very helpful!

But anyway, I was wondering if anyone feels like:

a) Clubbing, going to clubs in so boring, unless there's something in it for you? Majority of my friends seem to love dancing, drinking a lot and being in the club atmosophere. I can fake it for so long, but half the time it seems so pointless unless I'm after a guy, getting drunk out of my face (v. unlikely!)
b) Secondly this brings me too, this general idea of everything having to have a purpose to do it. I notice other people can freely socialise and seem to enjoy it, but I am very enthusiastic towards socialising and making new friends when it fits my goals, plans... if it doesn't, then I'm really interested! Still, I won't let go of the friendship, just in case I need it.

Anyone else feel the same ever?

[Blaze]

Thanks muchly for everyones ideas and advice on all the other threads I've posted... been very helpful!

But anyway, I was wondering if anyone feels like:

a) Clubbing, going to clubs in so boring, unless there's something in it for you? Majority of my friends seem to love dancing, drinking a lot and being in the club atmosophere. I can fake it for so long, but half the time it seems so pointless unless I'm after a guy, getting drunk out of my face (v. unlikely!)
b) Secondly this brings me too, this general idea of everything having to have a purpose to do it. I notice other people can freely socialise and seem to enjoy it, but I am very enthusiastic towards socialising and making new friends when it fits my goals, plans... if it doesn't, then I'm really interested! Still, I won't let go of the friendship, just in case I need it.

Anyone else feel the same ever?

i liked clubbing when i was in my 20's and very very alcoholic. dancing to punk rock was a great way to get out all my er rage. lol.

it's so yesterday at this point. it's hard to talk in clubs. it's generally a totally fake environment.

i always kinda wanted to go to a rave though, like when ecstasy came out. but i was in recovery by then so i didn't want to risk it.

[Wynch]

When I'm with my friends, I enjoy the dancing and the atmosphere. When I start dancing with guys at the club I usually get bored, alcohol or no. I really like one club here in Ottawa where they have a club up top and a pub down below so you can go and dance, and when you're bored of that, you can sit with a drink or play some pool. Pool is one of my favourite things to do when drunk.

[Mr Saturn]

Clubbing no longer interests me. I have grown up in an uncultured town where everyone goes to all the clubs and pubs at the weekend.

All the men go to 'pull'. I don't really know what the women go for, but if it's to attract men who only want one thing and then complain about it when they get taken advantage of, then there's loads of that.

Maybe it's just this town. Maybe there are clubs where people go for the experience of pumping (good) music with other people fit into a room full of colour and energy. Instead here, it's just slimy bars that play chart topping dance hits to the visuals of under 18s sneaking in and getting wasted from cheap vodka.

I'm rather cynical about this sort of thing.

[cracka]

All the men go to 'pull'. I don't really know what the women go for, but if it's to attract men who only want one thing and then complain about it when they get taken advantage of, then there's loads of that.

FYI, There are many, many, women in the world who like sex just as much as guys. 28 years on earth and it took about 23 of them to realize that little tidbit of info. Note, I didn't say all...

Don't you women just hate that double standard...lol, women are whore's and guys are pimps when all each of them really want is some good old fashioned fucking. haha.

I like clubs if I go there with a chick, cuz there's not that whole, looking to hook up shit that most of the people want there. If I go to a club, it's usually because it's with a chick I'm already really into and it's just another way to have fun. I have been to many clubs with all my guy friends and I also agree that I get bored unless I actually do meet a chick...

Which I rarely even do since I don't like to meet women that way... there's a quality issue I have with that...hahaha. The percentages are just off, as far as the women that would be "good" for my well being versus the amount of those that wouldn't be so good for me... So it's not worth playing a game with those odds. I am a gambler, but know when to not play a game I can't really win without just a bit of Luck.

To me, clubs are just another form of going out, I do it sometimes, other times I don't... I don't look at it in a bad way, since I've had a lot of fun doing it in the past.

I'm rather cynical about this sort of thing.

Many of us are, though there may be different reasons for everyone.

[Mr Saturn]

Don't you women just hate that double standard...lol, women are whore's and guys are pimps when all each of them really want is some good old fashioned fucking. haha.

I apologise, that was a double standard. It was my prejudice.

I will change my statement to this:

It seems most guys and girls in this town just want to go out every weekend on the pull where they drink and look for a 'fit shag'.

That's what I don't like.

[Wynch]

Hahaha, I just remembered my favourite thing to do at the club. Find someone who looks lonely, drag them into my circle of friends and make them dance with us.

The clubs here in Ottawa are pretty decent. They're pretty stingy on only letting legal people in, and there are a number of clubs that are mostly for an older crowd. The one's for the university scene are mostly filled with chart-topping hits, but if you know which clubs to avoid, you can usually just go out, have a good time, maybe meet some random people, but not have to worry too much about the hooking-up aspect. There just as many people there not looking to hook up as there are people who are.

[EllaC]

I apologise, that was a double standard. It was my prejudice.

I will change my statement to this:

It seems most guys and girls in this town just want to go out every weekend on the pull where they drink and look for a 'fit shag'.

That's what I don't like.

Nah, I partially agree, yeah I am sure some women just go out for a shag, but to my knowledge, a lot are hoping to get a boyfriend/ something more out of this shag.

Where do you live? Uncultured town, UK? Sounds like where I am from!

[Mr Saturn]

Nah, I partially agree, yeah I am sure some women just go out for a shag, but to my knowledge, a lot are hoping to get a boyfriend/ something more out of this shag.

Where do you live? Uncultured town, UK? Sounds like where I am from!

Macclesfield. It's basically Manchester's uncool little brother.

[diljs]

b) Secondly this brings me too, this general idea of everything having to have a purpose to do it.

I definitely run into that problem. Most of the people i know are content to do nothing as a form of socializing - let's watch a movie we've already seen, eat at some crappy fast food place, blah blah whatever. I always annoy everyone with my being bored and wanting to "go do something."

"But we're already doing something!", they say.

[Creepy-bg]

i always kinda wanted to go to a rave though, like when ecstasy came out. but i was in recovery by then so i didn't want to risk it.

Me too, I want to do THAT.

at the risk of further corrupting you *creepy evil laugh*... every rave I've been too was fucking mind blowingly fun. (that was "back in the day" though )

[misutii]

Thanks muchly for everyones ideas and advice on all the other threads I've posted... been very helpful!

But anyway, I was wondering if anyone feels like:

a) Clubbing, going to clubs in so boring, unless there's something in it for you? Majority of my friends seem to love dancing, drinking a lot and being in the club atmosophere. I can fake it for so long, but half the time it seems so pointless unless I'm after a guy, getting drunk out of my face (v. unlikely!)
b) Secondly this brings me too, this general idea of everything having to have a purpose to do it. I notice other people can freely socialise and seem to enjoy it, but I am very enthusiastic towards socialising and making new friends when it fits my goals, plans... if it doesn't, then I'm really interested! Still, I won't let go of the friendship, just in case I need it.

Anyone else feel the same ever?

that's actually similar to how I see bars except I think my view would be a bit stronger lol

[ScanDave]

I always loved clubbing, and bar hopping. Hell I would even go do those things by myself and see what I can get into. Lately though, I prefer the bar scene over the club scene. Mostly because the clubs I like going to I feel the girls I will meet are too young. and some are too shallow. Also I've done it all around here, so pretty much everything feels too routine these days.

I hardly ever get bored though, since I can always find a way to make the most of anything.

[Wynch]

I feel that way a lot too, Dave. I'm also starting to lean towards the bar scene. It's more interesting, I find, to sit down at a table with a random group of people and get to know them than to let some guy grope me in a club. I wouldn't go to the club without my friends. I like it because it's me and my friends and we're having a good time together.

The age thing is gradually becoming a factor as well. I'm still a youngun', but in many ways I relate to older groups than my age group. I mean I work with people in their 50's and I like to play bridge and cribbage. Sort of makes the hedonism of my twenties seem foolish.

[Khola aka Bee]

I went to a club with an ILE the other night. He seemed to enjoy it. Clubs tend to get me a little over-stimulated personally, but if I'm drunk and the DJ is good I will tear around the dance floor. So many bruises.

[xyz]

Bruises? What kind of dances are you doing?

Drinking too much gets me paranoid, the music is usually too fucking loud, i can't hear what people are saying, grinding my crotch on a girls ass does nothing to me, it's usually too damn dark, the girls and environment are laughably fake, and the music usually fucking blows.


Yeah, I love clubs.

[Mr Saturn]

Yeah, quiet bars are where it's at. One thing I have always been jealous of America for are the late nights on the beach.

I mean I know we have beaches and late nights here but it's always cold and the beaches are full of the homeless.

Do you guys ever just get a group of friends, a fire, some munchies and go to the beach just talking and relaxing all night?

[Jimbean]

I like clubs, and usually I try to pull them off successfully by myself, but I tend to fail. I suppose I should change my approach

[xyz]

Yeah, those are always the best. :]

Seconded

[Wynch]

Yeah, quiet bars are where it's at. One thing I have always been jealous of America for are the late nights on the beach.

I mean I know we have beaches and late nights here but it's always cold and the beaches are full of the homeless.

Do you guys ever just get a group of friends, a fire, some munchies and go to the beach just talking and relaxing all night?

Less talking and relaxing, more bonfire and partying. Occasionally it'll be as simple as just chilling by the fire for some conversation, but usually it involves alcohol and mad revelry. And of course in the summer it was always days at the beach playing frisbee, swimming and having fun. Dang, I miss the beach. Curse you Ottawa and your dirty waterways!

[Mr Saturn]

Um... I live there.


And btw, there is a socionics meet up in Myrtle Beach (where I live) in early August.
We're actually all staying together in a cabin ON the beach. If you're interested...

I fully appreciate the offer but I lack the passport and the money.

It's a shame the only thing I can offer in return are the poor beaches of England.

[diljs]

Do you guys ever just get a group of friends, a fire, some munchies and go to the beach just talking and relaxing all night?

Now THAT sounds wayyy more fun.

[angelalala]

Hahaha, I just remembered my favourite thing to do at the club. Find someone who looks lonely, drag them into my circle of friends and make them dance with us.
.

the music is usually too fucking loud, i can't hear what people are saying, grinding my crotch on a girls ass does nothing to me, it's usually too damn dark, the girls and environment are laughably fake, and the music usually fucking blows.
Yeah, I love clubs.

Unless I'm totally wasted, in which case I'm entertained by *everything*, clubbing is the least fun thing to do. To me, it's like the most pathetic and anti-social activity. No real interaction, just a bunch of losers who can't be themselves desperate to get a ride.

(Of course, there are always exceptions. Lots of people just love to dance, and that's cool, but those people always seem to be a minority. Maybe if there were more people like that It'd be fun.)

Speaking of which, I found clubbing in Beijing awesome, people just had fun and you could actually talk with people in different areas.

Anyone enjoy international clubs more?

[xyz]

Unless I'm totally wasted, in which case I'm entertained by *everything*, clubbing is the least fun thing to do. To me, it's like the most pathetic and anti-social activity. No real interaction, just a bunch of losers who can't be themselves desperate to get a ride.

(Of course, there are always exceptions. Lots of people just love to dance, and that's cool, but those people always seem to be a minority. Maybe if there were more people like that It'd be fun.)

Speaking of which, I found clubbing in Beijing awesome, people just had fun and you could actually talk with people in different areas.

Anyone enjoy international clubs more?

cant say that ive been to an international club... how exactly are they different than the clubs here?

[angelalala]

I got a totally different vibe in Beijing than I do in Vancouver (Canada...)

It felt more like people were just there to have a good time. They seemed more comfortable with themselves. There were places in the club where you could just hang out and talk, and places that were more lounge-like overall. Here, it seems like a bunch of cocky (but actually insecure) people dress up like sluts and put on a facade for the purpose of taking someone home. It's just pathetic.

My frame of reference is pretty limited to a few clubs in BJ and a few downtown, but there was a distinctly different vibe - it was cool.

[xyz]

I got a totally different vibe in Beijing than I do in Vancouver (Canada...)

It felt more like people were just there to have a good time. They seemed more comfortable with themselves. There were places in the club where you could just hang out and talk, and places that were more lounge-like overall. Here, it seems like a bunch of cocky (but actually insecure) people dress up like sluts and put on a facade for the purpose of taking someone home. It's just pathetic.

My frame of reference is pretty limited to a few clubs in BJ and a few downtown, but there was a distinctly different vibe - it was cool.

Loungey type of places huh? I actually prefer those. The same types of atmospheres are here too, like in vancouver. It's not my coup of tea either. Damn does this mean I gotta go all the way to frigging beijing?

[Ezra]

I can fake it for so long, but half the time it seems so pointless unless I'm after a guy, getting drunk out of my face (v. unlikely!)

This just grabbed my attention, and in conjunction with the responses to my "do Fi valuers like clubs?" thread I started a while ago, I have to conclude that liking clubs and the drinking culture is not actually related to Fe/Fi preference, but to personal preference.

[Wynch]

Angela, you remind me of my INTp friend and former roomie. As an observation, most of the ILE's in the thread actually enjoyed going to the club and you've been leaning towards the "not-alpha" opinions represented in this thread. You've been showing a lot of interest in ILE, but have you considered other types for yourself?

As for how you feel about the clubs in Vancouver, I don't imagine they're all that different from the clubs here in Ottawa. Perhaps it's a matter of perspective? I know for myself I really like dressing up because I so rarely do it and do it well and going to the club and feeling attractive and dancing and socializing with my friends. Does that make me a slut? Nope. And when I get drunk I may give off that impression easily, but it doesn't make it true. And the people I know who enjoy the club scene typically go out just to have fun. I find it's the exception, not the rule, to find the people there just looking to hook up.

Also, because of drinking laws in North America, our club scene is a little weird. We have the all-legal-ages-allowed clubs where you only find 18-20-year-olds who aren't old enough to get into something classier and the creepy 30-year-olds who just want to pick up some ridiculously drunk chick. Meanwhile you have all the newly-legal kids behaving like crazy hedonists and lacking a lot of maturity. But when you go to age-limit clubs with a dress code and proper ID-checking, you find a more moderate scene.

But to be honest, I think if I sat down in a lounge I would die of boredom. At least in the bar it's loud and boisterous and there's hockey on TV. In a lounge I would get antsy and probably need to go outside and jump in a puddle, followed by speculation on the formation of a shape of a puddle, followed by a theoretical exploration of the idea of physical perception, followed by a desire to go and visit Hundertwasser House in Vienna. Did you know that the reason there are four legs on a table partially for support but also because floors are rarely level and flush? The more legs you have, the better the chance that it will be off-balance.

[Creepy-bg]

yay creepy 30 year olds!


(ftw I don't go to clubs or bars... I hate them)

[angelalala]

Angela, you remind me of my INTp friend and former roomie. As an observation, most of the ILE's in the thread actually enjoyed going to the club and you've been leaning towards the "not-alpha" opinions represented in this thread. You've been showing a lot of interest in ILE, but have you considered other types for yourself?

Although this site is new to me, I'm not new to myers-briggs. I'm most def. an ENTp. (but I'm not surprised that that didn't come across in a dozen or so posts over an internet forum...lol)

To clarify in short. I love clubbing, but I detest clubbing in Canada.

I definatly don't think that everyone who goes to clubs is doing so just for sketchy reasons. Actually, in my first post in this thread I made mention of that,

(Of course, there are always exceptions. Lots of people just love to dance, and that's cool, but those people always seem to be a minority. Maybe if there were more people like that It'd be fun.)

Going to a club doesn't make somebody a slut, and I think you're onto something mNogood with the note about age here. There are so many prosti-tots in our club scene, which spoils it! (That, and byward market clubs/bars are pretty sweet...so you have it lucky with all the cool places to go. I'd probably like clubbing in Canada a bit more if I was living in Ottawa.)

Anyways. I can tell that the vibe in clubs here and in Beijing were different. I loved clubbing in Beijing (not just sitting in lounges like it may have come across as). I could dance with lots of guys and girls without a bunch of them trying to take you home, it was just...fun.

I guess it isn't the clubbing I don't like. More, the pathetic social scene it tends to draw in Canada. The dancing, drinking, laughing and meeting new people part rules. (That! And yea for grabbing random people to dance with )

Ange

[angelalala]

Angela, you remind me of my INTp friend and former roomie.

So, I got to thinking about type. I have to admit, I may not be a total ENTp. holistically speaking, the ENTp profile is waaaay more fitting for me than the ENTj profile. But, neither the 'p' or 'j' factors individually overrides my approach in this respect.

(For what it's worth, this is how the percentages in the other dichotomies look for me:

E = 60%; I = 40%
N = 100%; S = 0%
T= 75%; F = 25% )


I've taken a few MBTI tests at leadership conferences, and the first three variables are consistently scored as I've listed them. But, when it comes to P/J questions, nothing matches how I approach things.

This is how I see my P/J thought process. It seems to me kind of J and then P and then Both J and P.

1) I think to myself about the various possibilities available the positive/negative aspects of each.

2) Then I start to work with the current situation. Who is involved, what do they like, what do I like. Basically, I try and help assess the path that results in the most amount of happiness for the most amount of people and go with whatever path works in that way.

3)Then once an activity/ project/ event (or whatever is going on) gets going I tend to repeat this process as things progress. a) reflecting/considering multiple options/ planning but still b) considering which plans will likely work best given the situation.

Essentially, it seems to me like I construct multiple possibilities in a J fashion. But, in application, do so in more of a P way. (When it comes to follow through, I do so out of obligation, I definitely have more fun starting projects and planning the theory behind the projects than meeting deadlines and seeing them through. But, I'm in the last years of my BA, so I have to )


Like I said, the ENTp profile is still holistically waaaay more fitting than the ENTj one. (Btw, I know this post is a little bit misplaced...so I'll likely take it into the general discussion or anything, any feedback would be awesome )

Any thoughts?

[Exodus]

You definitely seem more Alpha than Gamma.