INTj looked at his watch for the tenth time. 2:56. ENTp was exactly twentysix minutes late.
He was standing on the side of road, in the bleak and empty Arizona desert. The searing blacktop pavement was the only sign of anything other than nothing in the world, at least from where he stood, and a naked fear began to creep up on him. He had never felt this alone with himself, and that said a lot. As instructed, he had left his car at Mark's Store, an old gas station three miles back, and had walked the rest of the way to the meeting place, a spot on the road where a sign stood informing travelers that there were still 132 miles of desolation between here and Phoenix. It was hotter than shit, but he couldn't trouble himself to notice; This meeting was too important for him to worry about the annoyances of the physical world.
What was keeping him?
Ten more minutes of frustration, isolation, and creeping fear followed before he saw his friend. A blazing white light appeared in the sky, first a spark, and then pure energy, in close enough proximity to the sun that he was surprised he had noticed. The light moved at incredible speed, seeming to defy any conventions of momentum, gravity, or logic. It shot parallel to the road, away from INTj, before suddenly stopping in an instant, like a driver who slams on his breaks in alarm after missing an important turn. It corrected its course to the place of meeting, and as the light came closer, INTj could see his friend, but not his body. He knew that the light was a kind of spirit, a true being, a thing-in-itself, which was the essence of his friend, the reality behind the skin and bones. Looking at it was almost unbearably disturbing. He felt like a broken sparrow, watching a young hawk soar through the sky.
The light parked itself on the ground near the sign, and took on the familiar form of his friend. He wore an expensive looking suit of black. His hair was smoothed back, his eyes were hidden by the dark shades of sunglasses, and he was smirking.
"My friend. What is up?" He smiled, and embraced INTj in a hug that made him feel like maybe he would have been gay in another life.
"I've missed you, man," ENTp said. He reached into his jacket and proffered a cigarette. "No thanks," INTj said, smiling, "I'm still not partial to inhaling five thousand poisons in one convenient stick. It's bad for you, you know."
"Not anymore." ENTp's grin widened.
"Heh, power corrupts." ENTp shrugged, and took a draw.
"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
"So you don't want one, then?"
ENTp laughed, but his eyes had that look of detachment that meant he was about to say something important. They were about to get to the point of this whole meeting.
"Ever since that day I got really stoned and evolved into a state of pure energy, I have been exploring the universe. I have spoken with two dimensional lifeforms. I have learned how to drive comets. I learned that Canada was just God's way of telling humans that no matter how smart we are, we're just that close to retarded. But most of all I have learned that I am approaching a point of no return. Soon I will have to move on from this world forever. I can't say why though. I feel like I have become as one with the universe in a way, and that its will is my own, even though it is hidden from me. I just feel this, you know?"
"So why did you come to me?" Very soon, INTj thought. This was just as he planned.
ENTp looked him in the eye. "To say goodbye. You've always been a good friend to me. I just wanted..."
"You are omnipotent. Why not just flick your wrist and erase any sadness? Why come back?"
ENTp seemed to be looking inward. He hadn't smoked anymore of his cigarette, and a long tail of ash was dangling precariously from his fingers.
"I don't know... I mean, you're right. Why not just erase any negativity? Why not just flick my wrist and banish pain from the universe. I mean, I am omnipotent."
"Well, I don't want your goodbyes, or your foolishness. If you're going to go, then go." INTj's face betrayed no feeling, and his body betrayed no life. But he was scared. This had to work.
ENTp looked sullen. His shoulders sagged, and the life in him seemed to be fading steadily. "But... I..."
ENTp looked up, as if facing his destiny, and nodded. "Goodbye, man. I'll see you on the other side."
The brilliant light flared around his body once again, and after one last sad look at his friend, he was gone.
INTj smiled, and began to walk back.
"Dude, what the fuck?!!" He heard a familiar voice say behind him. He spun around and saw his friend standing there, in his underwear, as he had been on the day he got so stoned.
"Ah, I see my plan was a success." He kept smiling.
"What plan?" ENTp seemed genuinely confused.
"To save you from yourself. You came back to me because you wanted my help, but had only the vague intuition as to why, or even how I could help you."
"And how did you?" ENTp tried to salvage what dignity he had left with a look of fascination. He failed.
"You were omnipotent, you wanted my help. You subconsciously gave me your power, and with it I took it away from both of us. You now have your life back." He laughed and hugged his half-naked friend. "You can thank me later. Right now I am hungry as balls. I want some fucking Chinese food, and it's one hundred thirtytwo miles away."
"Tru tru, man. Holy shit, I really owe you one. I mean, I'll miss the infinite sex, the power, the every-whim-fulfilled... but I think I see that we're just not ready for that now. All of that comes later. Humans should be human, and gods, gods. Thanks. Thanks for bringing me back to reality. And now that you mention it, I am also as hungry as balls."
"Good. Hey let's get drunk tonight. I miss you picking on my lack of social skills."
"Haha, no problem man. Sounds good."
ENTp stopped. "Dude, you know what?"
"Our parents gave us really weird names."