Why I Hate Being IEI-INFp

[Scrummy]

Sure the sex is great, but:
- I am sick of how it is physically impossible for me to emit the word “no.”
- I am tired of people suddenly staring at me all shocked, when I express any measure of anger. WHAT'S SO SHOCKING IN THAT I CAN BE ANGRY?? I’M ONLY HUMAN, NOT A SAINT!!!
- I am sick of being mothered... by 9-year-old girls.
- Why is it people either dont take me seriously at all, or take me way too seriously?
- If I hear any of the following again, I swear I will shoot my brains out: "Don't let people push you around like that!" -- "Stand up for yourself, man!" -- "You're so cute!"
- I hate that I threaten suicide at the stupidest things. Witness the above bullet-point.
- I'm sick of pining after women from afar.
- Why does everything hurt so bad?? Screw empathy. It sucks. I'm tired of feeling other people's pain. From now on you can feel your own Goddamned pain!!!
- You know that feeling where it feels like you've forgotten something, or worse, someone? Well, that's what it's like to be an INFp...
- Half the music I listen to makes me choke up like a pussy on Valium.
- Why can't we all just get along?? Stop the hatin'! I swear I'll throw myself off a bridge if you people can't stop being assholes!
- I hate it that the most threatening thing I'm capable of is harming... myself. Actually.. I lie.. the most threatening thing I'm capable of - without feeling guilty afterwards - is harming myself... actually... I would feel guilty for harming myself, too... fuck it.
- Why is it the only occupations I would ever be happy with will guarantee that I will die without a penny to my name?
- Why is it that, as a kid, my ESTp brother could get away with bloody murder, and I couldn't even use a "big-big-D" (Damn) without getting shocked gasps from relatives who don't even live on this continent, or being told by my parents that relatives who died decades ago would also have gasped?
- Why am I so unthreatening?
- Why do I care so much about the fucking meaning of life??
- I feel stupid for posting this because it comes off as a desperate cry for attention.

[Rocky]

- Why can't we all just get along?? Stop the hatin'! I swear I'll throw myself off a bridge if you people can't stop being assholes!

That was aimed at me...


Anyway, as for the feeling pain part, I guess you can never really change that. On the other hand, thinkers always think about things in a cold way, which makes them always view themselves as assholes. And the persistance parts... I think that sounds like a lack of the extraverted (Se?) functions.

[Joy]

ummmmm... if you don't like being mothered... what's with the sn and avatars?

*stops picking on the INFp now*

[discojoe]

fag

[Creepy-]

Sure the sex is great, but:

Nice silver lining.

- I am sick of how it is physically impossible for me to emit the word “no.”

That's so true. The closest I have gotten is giving pained looks in the hopes that they realise I didn't want them to ask that of me.

- I am tired of people suddenly staring at me all shocked, when I express any measure of anger. WHAT'S SO SHOCKING IN THAT I CAN BE ANGRY?? I’M ONLY HUMAN, NOT A SAINT!!!

Ditto. Negative emotions are only bad in my house when I have them.

- I am sick of being mothered... by 9-year-old girls.

- Why is it people either dont take me seriously at all, or take me way too seriously?

I want to know that one too!!!

- If I hear any of the following again, I swear I will shoot my brains out: "Don't let people push you around like that!" -- "Stand up for yourself, man!" -- "You're so cute!"

Uh-huh. And of course, if we did stand up for ourselves they'd give us that shocked look and ask us what traumatic event has occurred this week. And the recipient of our assertiveness will just turn it around to make it look like we're hurting them, dammit!

- I hate that I threaten suicide at the stupidest things. Witness the above bullet-point.

Yeah

- I'm sick of pining after women from afar.

Also true.

- Why does everything hurt so bad?? Screw empathy. It sucks. I'm tired of feeling other people's pain. From now on you can feel your own Goddamned pain!!!

I'll let you know if ever I find the off-switch for that.

- You know that feeling where it feels like you've forgotten something, or worse, someone? Well, that's what it's like to be an INFp...

We are an anxious lot, aren't we?

- Half the music I listen to makes me choke up like a pussy on Valium.

I don't mind that all that much, actually. I suppose I'm "allowed" to be emotional due to my two X chromosomes. Gender stereotypes suck.

- Why can't we all just get along?? Stop the hatin'! I swear I'll throw myself off a bridge if you people can't stop being assholes!

*makes picket sign with similar message*

Where shall we hold our protest?

- I hate it that the most threatening thing I'm capable of is harming... myself. Actually.. I lie.. the most threatening thing I'm capable of - without feeling guilty afterwards - is harming myself... actually... I would feel guilty for harming myself, too... fuck it.

I have too many scars on my arms and legs. I wish I could just lash out.

- Why is it the only occupations I would ever be happy with will guarantee that I will die without a penny to my name?

Yes.

- Why is it that, as a kid, my ESTp brother could get away with bloody murder, and I couldn't even use a "big-big-D" (Damn) without getting shocked gasps from relatives who don't even live on this continent, or being told by my parents that relatives who died decades ago would also have gasped?

Goddammit you're right! My ESFp brother can do no wrong, and even in school I would get in trouble for things everybody else got away with. What the fuck? Is it deliberate? Why do they want to pick on us? Makes me think I must just be evil inside or something because I can't think of what I might have done to deserve it.

- Why am I so unthreatening?

And why do they laugh when I try to be aggressive?

- Why do I care so much about the fucking meaning of life??

And why does it bother people so much that I do?

- I feel stupid for posting this because it comes off as a desperate cry for attention.

[Creepy-]

Baby, I love you to bits. It's always nice to know you're not alone in the world.

[Creepy-pokeball]

Sure the sex is great, but:
- I am sick of how it is physically impossible for me to emit the word “no.”
- I am tired of people suddenly staring at me all shocked, when I express any measure of anger. WHAT'S SO SHOCKING IN THAT I CAN BE ANGRY?? I’M ONLY HUMAN, NOT A SAINT!!!
- I am sick of being mothered... by 9-year-old girls.
- Why is it people either dont take me seriously at all, or take me way too seriously?
- If I hear any of the following again, I swear I will shoot my brains out: "Don't let people push you around like that!" -- "Stand up for yourself, man!" -- "You're so cute!"
- I hate that I threaten suicide at the stupidest things. Witness the above bullet-point.
- I'm sick of pining after women from afar.
- Why does everything hurt so bad?? Screw empathy. It sucks. I'm tired of feeling other people's pain. From now on you can feel your own Goddamned pain!!!
- You know that feeling where it feels like you've forgotten something, or worse, someone? Well, that's what it's like to be an INFp...
- Half the music I listen to makes me choke up like a pussy on Valium.
- Why can't we all just get along?? Stop the hatin'! I swear I'll throw myself off a bridge if you people can't stop being assholes!
- I hate it that the most threatening thing I'm capable of is harming... myself. Actually.. I lie.. the most threatening thing I'm capable of - without feeling guilty afterwards - is harming myself... actually... I would feel guilty for harming myself, too... fuck it.
- Why is it the only occupations I would ever be happy with will guarantee that I will die without a penny to my name?
- Why is it that, as a kid, my ESTp brother could get away with bloody murder, and I couldn't even use a "big-big-D" (Damn) without getting shocked gasps from relatives who don't even live on this continent, or being told by my parents that relatives who died decades ago would also have gasped?
- Why am I so unthreatening?
- Why do I care so much about the fucking meaning of life??
- I feel stupid for posting this because it comes off as a desperate cry for attention.

*hug* =( I understand how you feel and I dont think it is a desperate cry for attention. Life does not make sense and seriously blows at times.

This is only partially related and I doubt helpful but I was thinking of it so... I think, and this may aid in Megan's question of me, INXx's are the most suicide prone because it falls into the pattern of isolation that is so directly tied with suicide-patterns of structural functionalism (that social health is just as important as ther other aspects of survival due to being highly social beings). The detachment from being both I and N together must be extremely difficult on many levels when dealing with this aspect.

[maze]

=)

[Creepy-aurora_faerie]

I dont like it when people are shocked when I get angry and act like I'm not allowed to be because....I'm not "normally" like that.

So to fix it, I just pretend to be more angry than I am, and stay angrier longer, to spite them.

[Creepy-pokeball]

This also half-related but I noticed that when my ENFp friend is being assertive or agressive (as in not passive) then she is called bitchy (its especially annoying when people tell me this behind her back...ugh). But if a male is doing this, it is different. I would bet 10 bucks that it may be even similar with a male ENFp. Im not sure if I wouldn want to know what people would say about me behind my back if I had an issue with something and became agressive about it.

[Darklord]

fag

Not cute, not funny. Bummer.


@ Baby: The empathy thing can really suck at times. A part of my "Yet Another Wacko Idea for Reasons I'm So Withdrawn Theory 3245" ( I'll be honest: I've got absolutely zero self-insight) is empathy.
Of course, I've got several other ideas as well. Such as mental abuse at school, asexuality, hypersensitivity, brain hardwired to be a hermit etc.


When all comes to all, however, consider the alternative: No type (With the possible exception of the ESTp, and even there I have my doubts) consider themself perfect. In fact, I know no person that can honestly tell me "There is nothing about me that I don't like". What you are is probably the best you can achieve within the boundaries of human and individual imperfection. And, after all, better to err on the side of compassion and gentleness than psychopathy and barbarism, right?

I'll be honest, Baby: You sound like a really awesome person.
I could put up a similar list for INFjs, if you'd like:
-"Why are you angry?"
-"Get your feet back down on the ground!"
-*I crack a joke* "GASP! That was really insensitive!" "It was a joke." "Yeah, that's the excuse you always use." "But that's because I always joke!" "Yeah, just try to row your way out of it!"
-No matter the strategies I produce prior to a confrontation, when the event comes I "freeze up" and can't do anything.
-Bad sleep pattern (Typical j trait, I believe?)
-Genetically predisposed to geekiness
...and I could go on. I don't hurt myself physically, though I do constantly put myself down mentally.
I guess I have illustrated it well enough.

[Creepy-pokeball]

I so agree with you on all parts...

[Rocky]

I'll be honest: I've got absolutely zero self-insight

Why do I keep hearing introverts say that? I bet you do, but you don't realize how much you are aware of yourself compared to an extravert.

[Darklord]

I'll be honest: I've got absolutely zero self-insight

Why do I keep hearing introverts say that? I bet you do, but you don't realize how much you are aware of yourself compared to an extravert.

Listen to me talk. One day, I say this fits me, another day I say the opposite. I'm just relieved that nobody have yet accused me of being a psychopath, compulsive liar, clinically insane, undercover child molester,
hypocritical or just plain stupid.

[Scrummy]

This is only partially related and I doubt helpful but I was thinking of it so... I think, and this may aid in Megan's question of me, INXx's are the most suicide prone because it falls into the pattern of isolation that is so directly tied with suicide-patterns of structural functionalism (that social health is just as important as ther other aspects of survival due to being highly social beings). The detachment from being both I and N together must be extremely difficult on many levels when dealing with this aspect.

This is actually something I had to witness back in high school, and I don't think I'll ever be able to recover from it. If I go into too much detail, I'm afraid I'll crack, so I guess it will suffice to speak in generalities. I totally agree that N and I are isolating factors which act at odds with the human inclination for social acceptance and understanding. I think MBTI statistics put up INFP as the most likely to commit suicide, and I'm not surprised.

I wish I could do more on a global scale. That is always nagging at me. The big picture. That macro level is so illusive! Writing children's books has always intrigued me. ANYWAY, I just had to pop in and contribute my share of ass-talk.

That's actually another one of the points I forgot to make! For some odd reason, we INFps are never truly content to work on a limited scale - it has to be global, universal, etc. It's an exercise in futility, obviously. I've also been told that INTx's have the selfsame compulsion.

@ Baby: The empathy thing can really suck at times. A part of my "Yet Another Wacko Idea for Reasons I'm So Withdrawn Theory 3245" ( I'll be honest: I've got absolutely zero self-insight) is empathy.

I understand completely; and there is a frustrating link between the withdrawn disposition and that emphathetic inclination - I can get very down on myself when I find myself unable to really do something with that empathy. Something in me envies the ENFx ability to give a voice to their Fi, whilst mostof the time, I'm too busy living in my own head to accomplish anything like that.

Bad sleep pattern (Typical j trait, I believe?)

Not a j trait I don't think... possibly under influence of N - I have terrible sleep habits; I love sleep, just I can't get to sleep when I want and can't find it when I need it.

[Rocky]

I totally agree that N and I are isolating factors which act at odds with the human inclination for social acceptance and understanding. I think MBTI statistics put up INFP as the most likely to commit suicide, and I'm not surprised.

No offense, but I think some of these are just psychological. It's like being an I and an N to some people puts up these mental barriers in their mind like "I will never be able to connect with the outside world and people", when I don't think that's true at all. It's like running the four-minute mile. That kind of thing was never done, ever... or even close... until Roger Bannister did it in 1954. After that, runners were able to get four-minute miles lefts and right. The difference was psychological in that his feat only made other people aware that it was possible, and when they knew that, it was like a new (mental) barrier was broken down.

[Scrummy]

No offense, but I think some of these are just psychological. It's like being an I and an N to some people puts up these mental barriers in their mind like "I will never be able to connect with the outside world and people", when I don't think that's true at all. It's like running the four-minute mile. That kind of thing was never done, ever... or even close... until Roger Bannister did it in 1954. After that, runners were able to get four-minute miles lefts and right. The difference was psychological in that his feat only made other people aware that it was possible, and when they knew that, it was like a new (mental) barrier was broken down.

No offense taken. What you just said has broughy up a point that has been nagging the back of my mind for some time: There is a fine line between what Socionics considers a "type" and what clinical psychology considers a "pathology" or even a "neurosis." (Mind you, I am, of course, not saying that type is entirely synonymous with a psychological disorder.) Augusta spoke of balancing, or else compensating for, functional preferences and tendencies - we cannot simply ascribe suicidal tendencies to something as simplistic as I and N, but I do think they tend to play an isolating role in the presence of other factors. Of course a healthy person should be able to break out of these so-called "barriers" (and as I said in a previous post a "crutch", "excuse", or a model for the whole of the human psyche) but... a person who tends towards sucide is not a healthy human being, is he?

I digress, though - I don't want to urn this thread into a debate about the implications of Socionics.

[Creepy-pokeball]

I was only implying that it may be a single factor. It was something I thought of while studying Dorkheim.

[Creepy-Artemis nlo]

After many long years of fighting against what everyone thought was 'wrong' with me, I woke up and said, "I like me!" From that moment on I started living for me and stopped letting other people (my mother especially) push my buttons and define who I was 'supposed' to be. I've been much happier since then.

When my children make comments about my actions (I like to burst into song and dance in public places), I literally tell them, "up yours! I live for me." If the only thing I am doing is embarrassing them, then they have it made!

[Joy]

After many long years of fighting against what everyone thought was 'wrong' with me, I woke up and said, "I like me!" From that moment on I started living for me and stopped letting other people (my mother especially) push my buttons and define who I was 'supposed' to be. I've been much happier since then.

When my children make comments about my actions (I like to burst into song and dance in public places), I literally tell them, "up yours! I live for me." If the only thing I am doing is embarrassing them, then they have it made!

*applauds*

[Creepy-pokeball]

I'll be honest: I've got absolutely zero self-insight

Why do I keep hearing introverts say that? I bet you do, but you don't realize how much you are aware of yourself compared to an extravert.

=( partial truth but not always. Variable and probably can go both ways.

[indigoroom]

hmm I can't add much to that thread. INFps are never satisfied with their environment (like INTps?) and they are prone to move on to other cities, countries, searching, exploring, wandering for.. something. I guess thats connected with one of the natural tasks that INXps have (remember SmilingEyes's reply in my thread about INFps and who I am?") - in order to make synthesis of "whats going around" and refresh your worldview with new and accurate information you have to explore, move on, explore, move on.. etc.

BTW we have already some good threads with _accurate observations upon infps. that can help in writing/editing some descripion of the type.

[Gilly]

The world would be a better place if everyone was INFp.

[Joy]

Don't get me wrong, I adore INFps... but balance is important.

[Gilly]

But it would be so peaceful and daydreamy...Come on, tell me that doesn't sound awesome.

[Joy]

If every person in the world was INFp, there would be roles that aren't being filled that need to be... INFps would end up having to fill those roles, which would make them unhappy. Conflict would arise and it would end up being a huge mess.

And besides, as nice as INFps are, can you really picture spending the rest of your life not being able to interact with anyone but them? Thanks, but I think I'll pass.

[Gilly]

*thinks Joy is taking this too seriously, but...*

If you were an INFp, you might not think that. I happen to think that a world full of ENTps would be, although rather chaotic, at leat full of interesting people to talk to.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Cone]

Perhaps INxps are the most susceptible to extreme shyness? If this is true, then I would surmise that it is because of their detachment and unassertiveness, which prevents them from metaphorically jumping up and down yelling, "Hey, look I'm here! I exist!", which is what other types do.

[Rocky]

It's because, for the Ixxps, verbal, outward expression is their weakest area, and being Intuitive would probably just make it harder (even more detached).

[Joy]

I don't think even INFps would want to be the only ones in the world.

[Creepy-]

I don't think even INFps would want to be the only ones in the world.

No, it would be good to have some ESTps :wink:

[Creepy-]

Yet another thing to hate about being INFp....



It's impossible to avoid. Life is literally a stage, being sensible is often too far out of reach and the only way to respond to someone criticising it is to use more .

[mimisor]

Perhaps INxps are the most susceptible to extreme shyness? If this is true, then I would surmise that it is because of their detachment and unassertiveness, which prevents them from metaphorically jumping up and down yelling, "Hey, look I'm here! I exist!", which is what other types do.

INTjs are detached and unassertive as well and from here the susceptibility to act insecure or extremely shy in social situations.


INFps are lovely

[Creepy-Artemis nlo]

I don't think even INFps would want to be the only ones in the world.

That would be fine with me! We could all find a a quiet place and good book . . . ah, what a wonderful world.

[Joy]

who will run the presses? who will manage the people who run those presses? who will market the book?

[Creepy-]

who will run the presses? who will manage the people who run those presses? who will market the book?

I'm sure INFps are diverse enough to manage such a task.

Anyway, better a world of INFps than ENTps

[Darklord]

If the world was INFj, everybody'd just sit around watching science fiction on TV.
Or, come to think of it, they wouldn't. There'd be no TVs. Or science fiction on them.
In fact, there'd be nothing !
Forget it! No FiNe world! We need to keep the other types around. As unknowing servants. And for... amusement :evil: .

[Creepy-]

If the world was INFj, everybody'd just sit around watching science fiction on TV.
Or, come to think of it, they wouldn't. There'd be no TVs. Or science fiction on them.
In fact, there'd be nothing !
Forget it! No FiNe world! We need to keep the other types around. As unknowing servants. And for... amusement :evil: .

Can I join your cult?