How do SEIs-ISFps act when they are interested in someone?

[dattebayo]

i'm sort of into this guy. Well i'm REALLY into him to be honest I'm not sure what type he is. I'm rubbish at typing people but i do get this friendly harmless goodnatured wibe from him. So at the moment i think he an SEI. I really like him but he is really quiet. I get the feeling that he likes me too, but i don't know why. Its just this feeling. Like he's always watching me (looking after me in a considerate way and asking nothing in return) and for some reason he just makes me feel safe and happy. I know that sounds soo corny, but tis true. Just thinking about him makes me smile

Anywho my question is how do you guys act when you like someone?

[Rubicon]

If he's always watching you, that's a good thing. Lol. I'm a female SEI, so take that into consideration, but I wouldn't take the initiative. For me personally, signs that I like someone would be: laughing maniacally for reasons which are not immediately apparent, babbling off at the mouth when you ask me a question about something I'm interested in, - basically my Fe goes into overdrive. . If I wasn't sure that my feelings were reciprocated, I wouldn't be that obvious about it though. I'd be waiting for some sort of statement from you to let me know whether my feelings can be unleashed.

What sort of things does this guy do when you say he looks after you?

Welcome to the forum by the way!

[dattebayo]

...

[dattebayo]

sorry i wrote that before seeing your post

[dattebayo]

hi Chopin nice to meet you!

uhm..well i don't really know him that well. He works at a café and when he makes my snadwich he makes it really pretty I know that doesn't sound like much but i can see him wathing after my reaction when he brings it too me. And if for instance the guy i'm eating with asks for a glass of water he (the SEI guy) will make 2 so there is one for me as well.

[Rubicon]

hi Chopin nice to meet you!

uhm..well i don't really know him that well. He works at a café and when he makes my snadwich he makes it really pretty I know that doesn't sound like much but i can see him wathing after my reaction when he brings it too me. And if for instance the guy i'm eating with asks for a glass of water he (the SEI guy) will make 2 so there is one for me as well.

I love doing things like that for people I like. I guess it's hard to tell in a cafe situation where he's serving everyone else as well. But if he checks for your reaction, that's probably a good sign. Idk.

[JRiddy]

I have no idea how they express interest. Please let me know what you find out. I mean about SEI girls, not guys.

It always becomes uncomfortable for everyone when you are unsure of whether or not they reciprocate your feelings. But at some point, someone's gotta act. I was really into this SEI girl this last winter (that's December and January, Aussies), but I was always so uncertain about how she felt. From experience I know that as a guy, if I reveal my intentions at the wrong time, I'm gonna get shut out. This knowledge only serves to make me more confused about the whole thing.

Anywho, most SEI guys will likely respond well to light physical touch, e.g., brushing his arm, quickly touching his hand, etc. Also watch for things like eye contact and body movements mirroring yours if you get in conversation with him. Oh and some guys can be instantly seduced (in a good way) if you say something to them like, "I think you should take me on a date," but that requires a lot of initiative.

[dattebayo]

idk either

BUT my friend says he stares at me when i'm not looking. It's funny. Cuz at first i didn't really notice him. He's very low key and uncommanding. It wasn't until i saw him one day sitting by him self looking at us that i... well suddenly felt sympathy for the guy. He had come early for work and preferred sitting by him self rather than just come in early and hang with the other employees. That just made me like him

[dattebayo]

cant figure out how to quote

but @ JRiddy

he totally does that. The bodylanguage mirroring thing. I never thougt of that but thats prolly what i meant when i said i had this feeling. I like that. There's this closeness

I'm not big on touching people. But he does touch my hand every time he gives me change back

oh and yeah. About guys approaching girls. Part of the reason i like him, i think, is that he hasn't made a move, oddly enough. Or maybe that he hasn't made an agressive move. He seems respectful. i don't know if i'm making any sense

[JRiddy]

cant figure out how to quote

but @ JRiddy

he totally does that. The bodylanguage mirroring thing. I never thougt of that but thats prolly what i meant when i said i had this feeling. I like that. There's this closeness

I'm not big on touching people. But he does touch my hand every time he gives me change back

oh and yeah. About guys approaching girls. Part of the reason i like him, i think, is that he hasn't made a move, oddly enough. Or maybe that he hasn't made an agressive move. He seems respectful. i don't know if i'm making any sense

To quote one person, just click on the quote button below their post, and you will be taken to the reply screen, where you can type your response.

Mirroring body language is one of the strongest signs of attraction there is. Especially when guys do it. We don't really have a "friend zone" like girls do, especially not for girls we don't know that well, so most signs of attraction are probably positive indicators of interest. Guys have to be careful with this stuff going the other way though, because girls will show "signs of attraction" that actually suggest that they enjoy a guy's company, but not that they have a romantic interest in him; this is especially true if you've known a girl longer. It's incredibly confusing. I wish people would just be more open about their interests. But that's never gonna happen. I know I'm not gonna go around broadcasting my feelings like that, and no one else will.

If your cultural values are such that men are the ones that are supposed to take the initiative, you need to broadcast to this guy that it's safe for him to approach you, and that you will be receptive. How you do this, I have no idea. I wish more women knew.

[dattebayo]

To quote one person, just click on the quote button below their post, and you will be taken to the reply screen, where you can type your response.

Mirroring body language is one of the strongest signs of attraction there is. Especially when guys do it.

that's good news then

We don't really have a "friend zone" like girls do, especially not for girls we don't know that well, so most signs of attraction are probably positive indicators of interest. Guys have to be careful with this stuff going the other way though, because girls will show "signs of attraction" that actually suggest that they enjoy a guy's company, but not that they have a romantic interest in him; this is especially true if you've known a girl longer. It's incredibly confusing. I wish people would just be more open about their interests. But that's never gonna happen. I know I'm not gonna go around broadcasting my feelings like that, and no one else will.

I had no idea boys didn't have a friend zone. Most of my buds are guys

If your cultural values are such that men are the ones that are supposed to take the initiative, you need to broadcast to this guy that it's safe for him to approach you, and that you will be receptive. How you do this, I have no idea. I wish more women knew.

good advice though. But i'm not gonna initiate thats for sure ha ha

please notice all the pretty quotes

[Rubicon]

I hate these games that people say you have to play. For instance you can't appear too eager - you might scare the guy away and things like that. Surely if it's that touch-and-go, the two of you aren't really that compatible. I mean if I like a guy, I don't really care if he makes a fool of himself once and awhile, and I'd like to think he'd make the same allowances for me.

[JRiddy]

I had no idea boys didn't have a friend zone. Most of my buds are guys

Hmmm. We do have a friend zone, it's just harder to get in. Even then the male friend zone is easier to escape as well. Here's a crass example that nevertheless demonstrates my point: if you offered sex to any one of your buds, they would need a really good reason (they're abstinent, they're gay, they're related to you) not to. It's just how the male mind works. We try to act more civilized sometimes, but the baser urges to "spread the seed" are pretty strong.

good advice though. But i'm not gonna initiate thats for sure ha ha

please notice all the pretty quotes

You've gotta do something. Guys overthink things too, you know.
And good job on the quotes by the way.

I hate these games that people say you have to play. For instance you can't appear too eager - you might scare the guy away and things like that. Surely if it's that touch-and-go, the two of you aren't really that compatible. I mean if I like a guy, I don't really care if he makes a fool of himself once and awhile, and I'd like to think he'd make the same allowances for me.

The games aren't the best part of things. But it unfortunately makes sense why we all play them. No one wants to reveal deeply felt emotions and have them rejected. So we play these ridiculous games, even though we all wish it were so much simpler. You'd think being direct would work better, but in my experience it doesn't.

A few years ago, in a long period of limerence over a girl I knew, I decided that the best course of action would be to just write a letter expressing how I feel. (I know I'm such a wuss; shut up already.) I just broke down the reasons for my affections, and told the girl how beautiful and amazing she was. I even showed this letter to a friend of hers, and she said, "Awwwww, it's like Mr. Darcy at the end of Pride and Prejudice," which I took to be a good thing. Anyway, long story short, I never heard from this girl I liked again.

I think it's because the directly displayed feelings are too intense to handle. That's why we play these stupid games. And it sucks. But I guess it's what you gotta do. I wish I knew something better.

[Lotus]

Um, just be yourself.
It works for me.

[Rubicon]

The games aren't the best part of things. But it unfortunately makes sense why we all play them. No one wants to reveal deeply felt emotions and have them rejected. So we play these ridiculous games, even though we all wish it were so much simpler. You'd think being direct would work better, but in my experience it doesn't.

A few years ago, in a long period of limerence over a girl I knew, I decided that the best course of action would be to just write a letter expressing how I feel. (I know I'm such a wuss; shut up already.) I just broke down the reasons for my affections, and told the girl how beautiful and amazing she was. I even showed this letter to a friend of hers, and she said, "Awwwww, it's like Mr. Darcy at the end of Pride and Prejudice," which I took to be a good thing. Anyway, long story short, I never heard from this girl I liked again.

I think it's because the directly displayed feelings are too intense to handle. That's why we play these stupid games. And it sucks. But I guess it's what you gotta do. I wish I knew something better.

Mm - a necessary evil I guess. That's tough about that girl you liked. Though I would seriously consider marrying a guy who wrote a letter like that to me. You've got to be direct with your feelings some time or other, and I think if someone rejects you based on your directness of approach, there's probably not really strong feelings there to begin with. I mean, you may be taken aback for awhile if it's unexpected, but would you dismiss someone you love because they took an approach you weren't expecting? Idk. I just think it's not so complicated as all that.

[dattebayo]

Um, just be yourself.
It works for me.

best advice. and easiest performed

[dattebayo]

I hate these games that people say you have to play. For instance you can't appear too eager - you might scare the guy away and things like that. Surely if it's that touch-and-go, the two of you aren't really that compatible. I mean if I like a guy, I don't really care if he makes a fool of himself once and awhile, and I'd like to think he'd make the same allowances for me.

good to hear coming from a SEI (thats what the ball-rollerscate means right?). I make a fool of my self every two minutes

[JRiddy]

Um, just be yourself.
It works for me.

I do. Myself is crazy hyperanalytical. And I'm intense, like a circus. Also I make bad puns. I'm not depressed or desperate about any of this. These are just my thoughts and observations.

And what do you mean it works for you? Are you some kind of maneater?

[Lotus]

I do. Myself is crazy hyperanalytical. And I'm intense, like a circus. Also I make bad puns. I'm not depressed or desperate about any of this. These are just my thoughts and observations.

And what do you mean it works for you? Are you some kind of maneater?

a maneater?



I've just found that most of the time when someone is interested in me, it's when I'm not paying attention or trying to impress anyone. I am just being myself and not thinking about it.

Like if I'm around someone I like, I'm super aware of it. And it reads on my face and I try too hard. Not cute.

So yeah, I just let them approach me so I can take a break from making an ass out of myself.

[JRiddy]

JRiddy, you're channeling Dr. Phil again. No, you're infinately better than Dr. Phil. You should seriously write a book on relationships. It'd be like "The Cold Hard Truth" or something.

I'm not being sarcastic, either. This stuff is really good and since you took the time to explain and write it all out, I thought I'd take a little time to say that I appreciated it.

Haha. Thank you. That really means a lot to me to hear that you appreciate it. I'm no relationship expert at all; I really have a lot of trouble beyond the initial stages. But I'm glad you liked reading what I wrote.

[ScanDave]

I think it's because the directly displayed feelings are too intense to handle. That's why we play these stupid games. And it sucks. But I guess it's what you gotta do. I wish I knew something better.

That is because people like that do not know what they want.

But I'm glad I'm not a spewing direct feelings type of person most of the time because it can get you thrown out fast. However I know what you mean by it being confusing some times. My SEI female friends tell me they are no game types, and to be upfront. However, it does not quite work like that with every single girl. It really depends on chemistry and attraction though. If she feels little attraction to you then you have to be a little cautious about what you say and do. Situations like this can be a bit of a game. On the other hand when the attraction is high you can pretty much say and do anything whenever you feel like it.


I'd say find an older woman. Chances are she has dated enough guys to know what she wants, and will not play those games. Because the games are also a way to test what the other person will put up with. It is also a lack of maturity and lack of respect for other people time. I'd throw any women with their shit together in there also. One with their shit together will be able to apperciate a guy like you JRiddy. Trust me on this. I would place this above duality. I have a dual that one could say I love. She tells me she loves me all the time, but circumstances are not perfect. And above all she just does not have her shit together to where it would even be workable. For example, she has a boyfriend. Yet she still wants to spend time with me. She lives in California and wants to come out and visit me this summer. I just think "what a mess, figure out what you want!" And I'm stupid enough to agree to her coming back out here instead of putting my foot down.

Its crappy when you pursue someone you like that ends up rejectings you, but its even crappier when all the ingredients are there for something good but the other person needs to catch up first. Because this person means the world to you but you are starting to resent them. Worse feeling ever.

[JRiddy]

That is because people like that do not know what they want.

But I'm glad I'm not a spewing direct feelings type of person most of the time because it can get you thrown out fast. However I know what you mean by it being confusing some times. My SEI female friends tell me they are no game types, and to be upfront. However, it does not quite work like that with every single girl. It really depends on chemistry and attraction though. If she feels little attraction to you then you have to be a little cautious about what you say and do. Situations like this can be a bit of a game. On the other hand when the attraction is high you can pretty much say and do anything whenever you feel like it.

You sound like someone from the seduction community. Though I don't disagree with you.

I'd say find an older woman.

I'm gonna take her out tomorrow night.

Chances are she has dated enough guys to know what she wants, and will not play those games. Because the games are also a way to test what the other person will put up with. It is also a lack of maturity and lack of respect for other people time. I'd throw any women with their shit together in there also. One with their shit together will be able to apperciate a guy like you JRiddy. Trust me on this. I would place this above duality. I have a dual that one could say I love. She tells me she loves me all the time, but circumstances are not perfect. And above all she just does not have her shit together to where it would even be workable. For example, she has a boyfriend. Yet she still wants to spend time with me. She lives in California and wants to come out and visit me this summer. I just think "what a mess, figure out what you want!" And I'm stupid enough to agree to her coming back out here instead of putting my foot down.


Its crappy when you pursue someone you like that ends up rejectings you, but its even crappier when all the ingredients are there for something good but the other person needs to catch up first. Because this person means the world to you but you are starting to resent them. Worse feeling ever.

That sucks man about that girl. I'm 22 and I'm in no rush. I just want to share my observations and experiences. I do appreciate your input; you seem to know what you're talking about.

[Lotus]

Isn't it supposed to be some ILE stereotype that we want someone older and SEI's want someone younger?

It's true for me... what about you guys?

[xyz]

Um, just be yourself.
It works for me.

Yeh

[Rubicon]

Yeh

eh

[dattebayo]

JRiddy, you're channeling Dr. Phil again. No, you're infinately better than Dr. Phil. You should seriously write a book on relationships. It'd be like "The Cold Hard Truth" or something.

lol

[Lotus]

Yeh

eh

I hope those are expressions of agreement.

[Rubicon]

I hope those are expressions of agreement.

eh?

[Mediator Kam]

Hmm, I definitely don't want someone older than 2-3 years more than me, I don't really care how young they are, but of course, mature in all ways.

We can still have fun if we're mature though.

and I concur, you just gotta be yourself, I do it all the time. It never steers you wrong, unless you are a pedophile or lawyer or something.

[Lotus]

eh?

OMG IT'S KILLING ME!
AGREE OR NO?

[Rubicon]

OMG IT'S KILLING ME!
AGREE OR NO?

Yeah - I guess i agree with the concept, but it just sounds so trite. It's oversimplifying things. If I could just 'be myself' on command that'd be great, but it's not so easy as that. Because I naturally adapt to different circumstances, to different people. And I'll probably be kinda nervous around someone I like, so what good does someone saying 'be yourself' do? I'm trying, I'm trying!

^_^ this is the definition of 'eh'

[Mediator Kam]

Yeah - I guess i agree with the concept, but it just sounds so trite. It's oversimplifying things. If I could just 'be myself' on command that'd be great, but it's not so easy as that. Because I naturally adapt to different circumstances, to different people. And I'll probably be kinda nervous around someone I like, so what good does someone saying 'be yourself' do? I'm trying, I'm trying!

^_^ this is the definition of 'eh'

This is interesting. Usually I like people I know, right? I have the ability to be calm and collected around anyone I know, so I never have the problem of nervousness around my crushes, because I am in familiar territory.

[Rubicon]

This is interesting. Usually I like people I know, right? I have the ability to be calm and collected around anyone I know, so I never have the problem of nervousness around my crushes, because I am in familiar territory.

Mm - yeah I guess if you see them every day at school that'd be different. So you don't act at all different with them than with your other friends?

[Mediator Kam]

Mm - yeah I guess if you see them every day at school that'd be different. So you don't act at all different with them than with your other friends?

I'm more flirty with them is all. I don't get nervous at all.

That way they'll never know *giggle*

yes i'm still stuck in 6th grade mentality

[Rubicon]

I'm more flirty with them is all. I don't get nervous at all.

That way they'll never know *giggle*

yes i'm still stuck in 6th grade mentality

tee hee

But seriously, I'm normally not obvious about liking a guy either. I'm just doing my best to appear normal around him. Lol. I would wait until I felt that my feelings were reciprocated before I'd start twirling my hair and all that stuff.

[Mediator Kam]

tee hee

But seriously, I'm normally not obvious about liking a guy either. I'm just doing my best to appear normal around him. Lol. I would wait until I felt that my feelings were reciprocated before I'd start twirling my hair and all that stuff.

They never are for me.

Actually, people say I am very obvious about liking a girl. Once 2 years ago, and once by a 12 year old boy in Chicago when I was talking to this cute girl who has the same birthday as me.

MAY 17TH BABY

[Rubicon]

They never are for me.

Actually, people say I am very obvious about liking a girl. Once 2 years ago, and once by a 12 year old boy in Chicago when I was talking to this cute girl who has the same birthday as me.

MAY 17TH BABY

Hey - coming up soon eh?!

[Mediator Kam]

yep, ima be 17 on may 17th, party for me!!! w00p w00p

[ScanDave]

yep, ima be 17 on may 17th, party for me!!! w00p w00p

Taurus unite! My birthday was this past Tuesday.

[Lotus]

Yeah - I guess i agree with the concept, but it just sounds so trite. It's oversimplifying things. If I could just 'be myself' on command that'd be great, but it's not so easy as that. Because I naturally adapt to different circumstances, to different people. And I'll probably be kinda nervous around someone I like, so what good does someone saying 'be yourself' do? I'm trying, I'm trying!

^_^ this is the definition of 'eh'

You think too much.
Honestly.



I didn't mean "be yourself" in a cheesy cliche sort of way.
I really mean it... And how is being nervous a bad thing? Usually when I'm nervous around a guy, he thinks it's cute.
Everything works out...