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Thread: Points of Bonding between Quadras

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    Default Points of Bonding between Quadras

    What are the points, times, or settings in which you can normally get along especially well with other Quadras or non-Gamma types? Why are you able to operate well with them in certain settings but not in others? Do these points in bonding generally strengthen overall the relationships between you and these individuals in ways that allow you to overcome difficulties in the suboptimal settings where there may be points of conflict?
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    Good question.

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    I can easily operate with Alphas in social settings.
    I can easily operate with Beta in overcoming strong challenges (ex. ISTj's are often my companions when there's some very hard cycling race)
    I can easily operate with Delta when working for something specific, or generally when setting up a nice atmosphere where to stay with friends (ex. camping)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    What are the points, times, or settings in which you can normally get along especially well with other Quadras or non-Gamma types? Why are you able to operate well with them in certain settings but not in others? Do these points in bonding generally strengthen overall the relationships between you and these individuals in ways that allow you to overcome difficulties in the suboptimal settings where there may be points of conflict?
    It will sound a bit obvious, but it's confirmed in my experience.

    With Deltas: I can get along, and operate with Deltas I have established a relationship of some confidence in most situations; however, generally, the setting where some problems may arise is a professiona situation where I (rightly or wrongly) think that there is a sense of urgency that the Deltas don't easily relate to. In that case, the Fe-Ti axis works well, the Ni-Se doesn't. As a personal observation, 3 of my best, long-term friends are EIIs.

    With Betas: I usually work best with Betas when we are working towards a common goal and there is clarity of purpose, and understanding that we share the goal. It does not work, however, when political, "hidden" agendas are at play, or if group politics are involved - I am usually oblivious to those, and may end up in the "other" group without noticing it. With LSIs, I think a Fi relationship can develop fairly easily after some time, under favorable circumstances. My work relationships with LSIs can go either way. For some bizarre reason I have had some kinds of relationships with EIE women, which usually start well and flounder sooner or later. LSIs seem to be the only Betas with whom I have successful longer spontaneous relationships; the other Betas are more professional relationships. The Ni-Se axis works with a common goal; the Fi-Te one doesn't really.

    With Alphas: I can get along very well at work with ESEs if the job roles are well defined; I also tend to get along well with them personally, however, only as long as it doesn't get very deep. I only have non-relationships with ILEs, both privately and professionally. I tend to work well with LIIs in technical fields, we can find a common "language" but it doesn't really transfer to personal friendships. I only manage superficial relationships with SEIs, it doesn't really work although it's not that we hate each other or anything. I thing that with ESEs and LIIs it works due to the shared rationality and the fact that we can provide at least a bit of what the other expects in terms of Ti, Te, Fe, Fi.
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    Pretty much exactly what Expat said, (aside from type-specific stuff) except that with Betas I am aware of the social politics and after a while I start to feel bored.

    I can get on jovially with ENTps, but this seems to depend on who else is present. Too many Fe people and they start getting really loud and then it's something I have no interest in.

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    i agree with most everything which was said, without the type specific things, and have a few more specific details to add. with beta i get along with them until they start to "think or feel anything".. (no suprise), at which point i get the impression they are naive & or manipulative, and want them to shut up / go away. as long as we are in perceiving mode where no decisions are being made, no solidified opinions being expressed, and nothing is being accomplished (or with beta.. more like "nothing is being discussed on whether it needs to be accomplished)..., then things are fine.
    With alpha... as long as we are not caring about one another.. that we are simply coexisting, things are nice and calm; and it is nice to know anything which happens in their presence, will at the very least be a rational / workable happening. Once we start rubbing our heads against one another, conflict emerges... with SEI, it is in the form of me pretending I don't exist and have no opinion on anything, so as to most quickly dismiss (shut up) the obsessive detail oriented ranting which is happening. with LII, it is in the form of me having to reword and expand on most of what I say.. this becomes frustrating. The extraverted alphas I have less trouble with.. ESE I can get along with somewhat.. but then there are times where seemingly neverending arguments occur. During those times I have been known to get really nasty.. they bring out the devil in me. ILE is the most enjoyable alpha to be around, although still in a moderate dose. Often we end up causing trouble for our amusement & or making fun of things. There is still a distancedness between us ... I would say though, for alpha/gamma, that is important to maintain.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 05-08-2008 at 05:06 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    What are the points, times, or settings in which you can normally get along especially well with other Quadras or non-Gamma types? Why are you able to operate well with them in certain settings but not in others? Do these points in bonding generally strengthen overall the relationships between you and these individuals in ways that allow you to overcome difficulties in the suboptimal settings where there may be points of conflict?
    I don't fully understand your question Logos. I'll get around to reading about Socionics at some point, so sorry if I'm off. Although I've noticed that people replying to your question didn't answer the specific points you raised.

    I'm only going to talk about Alpha: My mom is ISFp, my twin brother is INTj, and a friend of mine that works in IT at a technical college is ENTp. I'm always giving advice that is never followed to my mom, but then again so is my INTj brother. My brother and I disagree a lot, especially when we were younger. I'm always pulling something out of my ass that I claim to have meaning, while he only deals with real life application. Although he has been getting into perpetual motion for a while *he's not exactly educated, but he does read simple physics books*. So, while he really doesn't like ideas that don't seem to have a realistic backing according to him, he does like PM. We get along best when we share theories and open eachothers minds to different perspectives regarding things like the nature of gravity. I love my brother, but we disagree to a great extent on many different things. It's ideas and hypotheses that we don't argue about, as long as I remain understandable. It's funny that I understand him, but he doesn't understand me. He has to build up a frame work and workable information has to be able to immediately fit into that framework or else it is overlooked.

    I think my best relationship is with my ENTp friend, because I can talk to him about different things and he understands AND gives his opinion on it. Like I had an idea for a new type of lawnmower and I was talking to him about the different approaches for separating grass, from one point to another. Anyway, I don't know if that gave you any insight, given that this is poorly written and terribly out of focus.

    I would add however that I agree with some of the people that posted here. One of them said, I think his name is Expat? That social situations are easy to get along in, just as long as it doesn't get to deep. I guess the different types draw from separate wells of information, and somethings are hard to mix.

    Now completely on topic, I think what you are getting at is harmony. And I think that it must be possible for the different quadrants to get along perfectly. I guess you were trying to figure out some common themes concerning that. I would really like to post my ideas on integrity, what it is, what it does in human relationships, how to stabilize it, and I think you're bored now.

    It's possible man. You aren't going to figure it out by asking people though, because NO ONE answers truthfully in regard to this. At least they don't give you any real usable information. There are reasons for that, but I won't go into detail, because it's hard for me and because I don't know if you give a damn or not. ... gosh, I'm starting to really want to tell you why people don't get along. I'll tell you this though, it's not that we cannot get along or that we can only get along in certain situations. What it is is that there is a lot of uncertainty in communication. Like when someone attempts to join in on a conversation there are certain mechanics that go into play and if the person isn't good at maneuvering in those mechanics they get turned down and remain isolated from the inner core of a persons understanding, blocked off by a security system gone horribly wrong. Anyway, I bet you stopped reading at the first paragraph, skimmed down for something relevant and later dismissed the entire post. *chuckles* Have a nice day
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    To some extent that security system you are talking about is defined by type.. if you were to dissolve it, you would dissolve your type also. People talk about the idea of type XXXx... etc.
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