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Thread: Dating male INFjs and ENFps

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    implied's Avatar
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    Default Dating male INFjs and ENFps


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    Topaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: enfp/infj men.

    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    you all confuse the hell out of me.

    in relationships that is.


    or well, not really. you tell them that it's worthless and hopeless and that you're not a good mate and they eat it up. /;
    hmmm ... maybe we like a challenge? :wink: or maybe we are just plain nuts cause usually when someone says that ... its true! ...

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    it's kind of gross to me though, like i'm not so interested in being mean to someone to get them to like me.
    I dont personally like mean girls. Im not wild about girls that are overly attentive and fawning either, the kind that will jump through hoops (ick). I like women who have self respect but are not neccessarily bitchy.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    it's kind of gross to me though, like i'm not so interested in being mean to someone to get them to like me.
    I dont personally like mean girls. Im not wild about girls that are overly attentive and fawning either, the kind that will jump through hoops (ick). I like women who have self respect but are not neccessarily bitchy.
    Can you find me one like that irl? =(

    Submissiveness seems to be one of my biggest turn offs. I like people with a little fight in them and Im not even Delta ...but not aggresive either. Assertive works.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Can you find me one like that irl? =(
    Submissiveness seems to be one of my biggest turn offs. I like people with a little fight in them and Im not even Delta ...but not aggresive either. Assertive works.
    Yeah Ive met quite a few girls that have gone through some extensive lengths. They are just way too emotionally needy. I was driving today and trying to think of a character on TV or Movies. For the moment all I could come up with was Hellen Hunt from Mad About You (now in syndication). She's reasonable and cool (with a bit of neurotic thrown in for comedy) she is also vulnerable and soft but doesnt wear it on her sleave. Paul Risers character is very neurotic and exagerated and thats funny too. I think I like women who can be somewhat calm and reasonable but get a kick out of me if I want to be crazy and neurotic. I want to be Paul Riser. If you are with a very crazy, emotional girl then you have to be the sober, level headed one all the time. Thats no fun. I want to be the mad cap!

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Creepy-pokeball

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    haha yeah. That's what I gathered from my ENFp buddies. One in particular loved getting me in trouble. I secretly didnt mind Dont tell her that tho... it'll go to her head! hah for Xmas I bought her this neon pink care bear umbrella. It took me a while to figure out that she was into gifts that were both personal AND fun--not just personal, whew. She thought it was so cool because it was not only a hilarious gift but she could see her 7month old using it when he was 5+ LOL.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Submissiveness seems to be one of my biggest turn offs. I like people with a little fight in them and Im not even Delta ...but not aggresive either. Assertive works.
    Maybe because you're in the Victim group? :wink:

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    Creepy-pokeball

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    No. I think it has very little to do with socionics. It's a social thing as I would not like myself to be that either.

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    bullies are wimps too, they just show it differently
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    wimpy, floormat guys are as gross as wimpy floormat girls. I think everyone needs a little backbone, but I don't like bullies either.
    Exactly!

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    Hmm this is an interesting post.. I dont know what you mean about eating it up if someone told me i was crap in a relationship. I wouldn't like that at all and would eventually leave

    I can be a little wimpy and sensitive but also have my tough side. I always say dont confuse kindness for weakness.

    My ex did that so i had to dump her

    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Can you find me one like that irl? =(
    Submissiveness seems to be one of my biggest turn offs. I like people with a little fight in them and Im not even Delta ...but not aggresive either. Assertive works.
    Yeah Ive met quite a few girls that have gone through some extensive lengths. They are just way too emotionally needy.
    Submissive ESTJ sounds kind of cool, yeah, I want one.
    I was wondering if I am the only one who would kind of like an emotionally needy, even clingy girl. Definitely not anyone who is happy all the time, smiles a lot and flirts openly. Anyway, I decided not to post a picture after all, it is easier to discuss sensitive topics anonymously.
    "Arnie is strong, rightfully angry and wants to kill somebody."
    martin_g_karlsson


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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousSoul
    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Can you find me one like that irl? =(
    Submissiveness seems to be one of my biggest turn offs. I like people with a little fight in them and Im not even Delta ...but not aggresive either. Assertive works.
    Yeah Ive met quite a few girls that have gone through some extensive lengths. They are just way too emotionally needy.
    Submissive ESTJ sounds kind of cool, yeah, I want one.
    I was wondering if I am the only one who would kind of like an emotionally needy, even clingy girl. Definitely not anyone who is happy all the time, smiles a lot and flirts openly. Anyway, I decided not to post a picture after all, it is easier to discuss sensitive topics anonymously.
    Hmmm I dont know if you'll find a submissive ESTJ girl. They usually want a pliable flunky that will put their foot down when they go too far. ESTJ women sometimes like to present themselves as 'in charge' when underneath it all there are insecurities and squeemishness . I usually can see right through them but I dont step on thier sore spots but say enough to let them know that Im in control of what I do and they can come along if they want. :wink: That being said, somehow I always end up doing some 'little favor for them' IM NOT A FLUNKY.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousSoul
    I was wondering if I am the only one who would kind of like an emotionally needy, even clingy girl. Definitely not anyone who is happy all the time, smiles a lot and flirts openly. .
    You're not the only one.

    I can't help but falling for languid, vacant, distant eyes.

    If a girl is happy all the time, she doesn't need me.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    FDG wrote:
    If a girl is happy all the time, she doesn't need me.
    I agree.

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    @FDG

    You summed it up nicely.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    you 4 sort of disgust me. it is cowardly to think like that. anyway you can have absolutely no use for someone and still care about them nevertheless. needy people tend to never be satisfied with one person anyway because they want as many people fawning over them as possible so desiring that may be contrary to your interests.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    anyway you can have absolutely no use for someone and still care about them nevertheless.
    True.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    needy people tend to never be satisfied with one person anyway because they want as many people fawning over them as possible so desiring that may be contrary to your interests.
    Not necessarily.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    you 4 sort of disgust me. it is cowardly to think like that. anyway you can have absolutely no use for someone and still care about them nevertheless. needy people tend to never be satisfied with one person anyway because they want as many people fawning over them as possible so desiring that may be contrary to your interests.

    Pedro;

    it's not a matter of interests. I can't control it. It's a statement of fact, a rationalization a posteriori.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Pedro wrote:
    you 4 sort of disgust me. it is cowardly to think like that. anyway you can have absolutely no use for someone and still care about them nevertheless. needy people tend to never be satisfied with one person anyway because they want as many people fawning over them as possible so desiring that may be contrary to your interests.
    It's not being cowardly. In my case, there is no reason for me to be with someone who doesn't need me. This is something I "should" do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    needy people tend to never be satisfied with one person anyway because they want as many people fawning over them as possible so desiring that may be contrary to your interests.
    this is why i always qualify my statements (well not always... see?)

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    i didn't reply to fdg, expat, and arcanum right away (look at the dates). i replied to implied for 2 reasons.

    1. the misunderstanding was stated twice so this means it was not just expat being Tj and taking things too literally and could mean others would make this mistake.

    B. I don't want this to become an example (through repitition) of how "narrow-minded" alpha is in the eyes of others

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    Wow, this thread got blown to bits!

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel
    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    Wow, this thread got blown to bits!
    old thread, new concerns.

    sth i never thought about before: how are enfp men different from enfp women? i think the person i'm trying to type might be an enfp. of course i never thought of it - i don't think i've ever met an enfp man (til now perhaps). they're not as crazy as enfp women, i suspect (which may or may not be true). but i have a feeling that the hiddner agenda does show through.

    well, pals?
    [/i]
    the same way men of any type are different from the women of the same type.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    ESTJ women sometimes like to present themselves as 'in charge' when underneath it all there are insecurities and squeemishness.
    As an INFJ guy I love this. I'm not even heterosexual but when an ESTJ does this I just want to take care of her lol.

    Yay for Duality!

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    nm. i exclusively love INFj men. ): i'm ESTj for the week.
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

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    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    If you are with a very crazy, emotional girl then you have to be the sober, level headed one all the time.
    !!!!!

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    Default Just started dating a Delta NF guy

    Advice?

    Warnings? (heh)

    Before anyone asks, I don't know my type. I'd like to know how the male Delta NF mind works in general, though, so my type shouldn't matter too much in this context.

    Thanks in advance

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    WHY DONT YOU GET TO KNOW HIM AS A HUMAN INSTEAD OF CONCEPTUALIZING HIS ESSENCE TO A FRACTION OF HIS BEING
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    WHY DONT YOU CALM DOWN. Rawr and stuff.

    I am getting to know him, and I like him so far. A lot. Which is the only reason I bothered to register and post on a forum that I've been reading passively for months.

    Any other assumptions you'd like to make or outbursts you'd like to have, chill out instead.

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    What are you looking to find out? What questions do you have?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DearestIsobel View Post
    WHY DONT YOU CALM DOWN. Rawr and stuff.

    I am getting to know him, and I like him so far. A lot. Which is the only reason I bothered to register and post on a forum that I've been reading passively for months.

    Any other assumptions you'd like to make or outbursts you'd like to have, chill out instead.
    I DON'T DO 'CALM'
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    I guess, general stuff? He is just so unlike most other guys I have dated.

    One thing is he's really nice. Very considerate and sweet. At first I thought he was wimpy. Like although he did ask me to hang out, it's like he doesn't want to be pushy and goes to the other extreme. Then he began with texting instead of calling me, which I didn't like. But that is pretty common, I know, it's just that most guys I've dated call to set up plans instead of relying on texts.

    A good example of why I started the thread has to do with that. We were trying to plan our first date purely by text, which I dislike and lost patience with. So I called him. I doubt he minded, but I had to wonder if it was too aggressive -- he seems really soft to me. "Soft" is a good word for him, in fact, and I wonder if directness is bad in his view as a Delta NF (to head off even more assumptions, no I'm not planning to forgo directness if it turns out that Delta NFs do indeed dislike it).

    As stupid as this sounds, I'm mostly just fascinated by this. Every time we hang out I believe a little bit more that the nice guy thing is him and not an act. Wondered how much of it was type related. I'm not positive how I feel about it yet, we're obviously figuring each other out as people, so far so good. I am still looking for fire, but we'll see....
    Last edited by DearestIsobel; 02-03-2012 at 03:15 AM.

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    THE PIRATE THINKS ISABEL WOULD DO MUCH BETTER EXPERIMENTING HERSELF, THEN GETTING INFORMATION.

    NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    THE PIRATE THINKS ISABEL WOULD DO MUCH BETTER EXPERIMENTING HERSELF, THEN GETTING INFORMATION.

    NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
    "Isobel"

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    YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT WOMAN
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Quiet, caring, gentle, idealistic, concerned, passionate.

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    ■■■■■■ Radio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Quiet, caring, gentle, idealistic, concerned, passionate.
    LIES

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    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DearestIsobel View Post
    Advice?
    Be yourself.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    WHY DONT YOU GET TO KNOW HIM AS A HUMAN INSTEAD OF CONCEPTUALIZING HIS ESSENCE TO A FRACTION OF HIS BEING
    Quote Originally Posted by Traveler, Galen, siuntal, squark
    Traveler, Galen, siuntal, squark liked this post
    Why do you guys like a post where someone is yelling in capslock at a new person? Hypothetically, even if they asked the dumbest question in the world, would you feel good if someone yelled at you? She just started in February 2012. Do you guys want this forum to be successful? Do you realize we need new people to grow?

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