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Thread: Blunt question: How do I attract an Fe-INFp/Fe-IEI

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    Default Blunt question: How do I attract an Fe-INFp/Fe-IEI

    i know it can last intellectually but i am concerned with prolonging or sustaining sexual attraction

    INFps tell me how to get you quickly and dirtily

    yeah. not gonna try to sugar coat anything. just want advice.

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    seems like with this subtype.... i think... its all very pleasant and good but i can never tell if ive pushed him off balance or if he's just humoring me

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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Be manly.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    Be manly.
    you know im female right?

    and what do you mean?

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    ok here's a better question:

    how do you guys act when you are attracted, like still attracted?

    i find that the Ni subtype if they are interested tries to get in my pants quickly and dirtily

    the Fe subtype just laughs pleasantly and recoils when i advance

    what am i doing wrong?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    you know im female right?

    and what do you mean?
    yeah, i could tell from your name.

    INFp girls I have talked to want a man with a beard and muscles, you know, a manly man.

    It just might carry over for INFp males.
    D-SEI 9w1

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    an introverted infantile and an introverted victim?

    That sounds really ugly, honestly. And quite unfulfilling. Good luck.
    I find that beta victims are pretty clear about liking you or not, and if they want you they will try to draw you out.

    That's just my experience though.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    yeah, i could tell from your name.

    INFp girls I have talked to want a man with a beard and muscles, you know, a manly man.

    It just might carry over for INFp males.
    probably "be girly" would be a better suggestion. i don't honestly know that many ESTp women to say, but i at least figure that if the INFp girl wants a manly man then maybe the INFp guy wants the opposite, whatever works with social roles (but probably still someone who wouldn't put up with shit.)
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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    INFp's like to be wined and dined and treated roughly. This not only fufills their need for romance but also their desire to be dominated by their partner as per their need for Se.

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    A general rule of thumb is that guys don't mind being prodded a bit. If you step on toes, they will let you know.

    If there is attraction there, you taking center stage and the 'reins', so to speak will be appreciated and successful. I think that's your best course of action, Ms. K, even if you don't feel completely comfortable with it.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    INFp's like to be wined and dined and treated roughly. This not only fufills their need for romance but also their desire to be dominated by their partner as per their need for Se.
    how does this translate to a woman for a man? wine and dine a man?

    though... i do tend to wine and dine the females in my life...

    ISFps, ENFps, and the female INFp in my life have all gotten some sugar daddy treatment from me lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    i know it can last intellectually but i am concerned with prolonging or sustaining sexual attraction

    INFps tell me how to get you quickly and dirtily

    yeah. not gonna try to sugar coat anything. just want advice.
    You are being self-assertive, right? As in, projecting your values right into their faces? That's a prerequisite for any successful INTjs romance.... (unless you want daily misunderstandings between you and your partner).

    -Se is all about fending off incoming threats. It's defensive without being overtly territorial. Male INFps want someone who can be at their side as they "turn back the darkness", if you will: they want someone who has a defensive strategy that they can "rally the troops" to carry out. They want someone they WILL NOT have to look after; after all, they've got to take the field and inspire, which you can't do if you're afraid of losing someone close to you.

    They want someone they will not have to worry about, and someone who can offer them a defensive strategy against the encroaching world that they can inspire others to execute.

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    Quote Originally Posted by force my hand View Post
    A general rule of thumb is that guys don't mind being prodded a bit. If you step on toes, they will let you know.

    If there is attraction there, you taking center stage and the 'reins', so to speak will be appreciated and successful. I think that's your best course of action, Ms. K, even if you don't feel completely comfortable with it.
    yeah.. i think so

    and i think i will have to make myself scarce.

    i had a long time INFp sexy friend who said he ultimately wanted to live in a different house than his long term partner.... like he could see that the only way he would get attached or married like that

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    how does this translate to a woman for a man? wine and dine a man?

    though... i do tend to wine and dine the females in my life...

    ISFps, ENFps, and the female INFp in my life have all gotten some sugar daddy treatment from me lol
    To begin with, yes. You make that gesture. Get the boy hooked. What would an ESTp do?

    Just like what your saying in rest of your quote, and what force his hand is saying. Grab him by the balls (not forced hand, well, maybe not..thats between you and him)

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    You are being self-assertive, right? As in, projecting your values right into their faces? That's a prerequisite for any successful INTjs romance.... (unless you want daily misunderstandings between you and your partner).
    well.. with a particular infp i have been hiding in a corner

    not the best strategy, eh? but yeah i have done that in the past, and it's been successful with Ni subtypes but not with the Fe ones... i am confused by these. they tend to withdraw more.. the Ni ones challenge me.. but i think the Fe ones get tired of me more slowly

    i am willing to accept that it would more likely be something short term, i just haven't figured it out yet with this type of infp

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    an introverted infantile and an introverted victim?

    That sounds really ugly, honestly. And quite unfulfilling. Good luck.
    I find that beta victims are pretty clear about liking you or not, and if they want you they will try to draw you out.

    That's just my experience though.
    well, i think that one of the most fufilling conversations i have had in my life was with an INFp, and one of my best friends for several years is an INFp, I was in her wedding and several other events that make me feel close to her. So.. I feel that I can maintain an intellectual connection with an INFp, or victim. It's like your lookalike.. you have the same problems or similar problems so you feel akin and affectionate toward each other. you just can't help each other out.

    hm... ok well how do you get the victim to draw you out if thye stop?

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    Quote Originally Posted by glamourama View Post
    be like herzy?
    is she a Ti sub? I think she is split sub

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Look hot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Look hot.
    OK!



    *slams door*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    yeah, i could tell from your name.

    INFp girls I have talked to want a man with a beard and muscles, you know, a manly man.
    Ugh. That's the exact OPPOSITE of what I want. I tend to fall for metrosexuals rather hard, actually. There's a sweet spot where a guy is charismatic, masculine, but not to the point of hairy caveman chauvinism.

    The way to attract me is basically to pay some quality attention to me, gradually building up. I get scared off instantly when someone comes on too strong, ie: seems *too* interested too fast. If I am interested, it's definitely obvious. I'll respond positively and even carefully initiate if I'd like the connection to develop into something significant.

    Sorry, can't give you any specific advice for INFp-Fe males, though. And I generally don't think I'm much good for "quick and dirty" liasons. When I'm at all interested in someone, it's more a romantic intent -- I have a habit of being intrigued by whatever is unavailable, so most of my attractions haven't turned into long-term committments. But I always hate to think of myself as being simply objectified for sex. That has always felt very empty and devoid of meaning.
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    I'm being told I'm a Fe-subtype, so...

    Turn-ons:
    - a great laugh
    - the color red
    - delight at my emotional reactions
    - eloquence
    - perfume that smells of citrus and/or opium
    - wandering hands
    - funky hair
    - dignity
    - shoulder rubs
    - good taste in music
    - shared hatred of certain others
    - an insatiable hugger/kisser
    - emotional...ness (I like people who aren't afraid to cry... so long as it doesn't turn into excessive whininess or bitching [see below])

    Turn offs:
    - domineering...ness; this is a surefire way to repulse me
    - the color purple
    - ignorance
    - whininess and excessive complaining/bitching/nagging, etc.
    - chemical smells
    - arrogance
    - workaholism and general blowhardiness
    - discomfort with physical shows of affection

    Hope this helps.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    If you're asking a blunt question, this is the right place. A lot of INFps I know enjoy gettin high
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    If you're asking a blunt question, this is the right place. A lot of INFps I know enjoy gettin high
    lol. I've never thought of that before but you know, it's true. The ones I know are up for that as well.

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    Dress like an INFp's supervisor does Kensignton

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby View Post
    I'm being told I'm a Fe-subtype, so...

    Turn-ons:
    - a great laugh
    - the color red
    - delight at my emotional reactions
    - eloquence
    - perfume that smells of citrus and/or opium
    - wandering hands
    - funky hair
    - dignity
    - shoulder rubs
    - good taste in music
    - shared hatred of certain others
    - an insatiable hugger/kisser
    - emotional...ness (I like people who aren't afraid to cry... so long as it doesn't turn into excessive whininess or bitching [see below])

    Turn offs:
    - domineering...ness; this is a surefire way to repulse me
    - the color purple
    - ignorance
    - whininess and excessive complaining/bitching/nagging, etc.
    - chemical smells
    - arrogance
    - workaholism and general blowhardiness
    - discomfort with physical shows of affection

    Hope this helps.
    dude, so waiting for this and yes it is helpful

    i hate purple too. I wish you could hear me say that because its so much more convincing.

    what do you mean by domineering though? Seems like.. organizing the way things are done.. but it doesn't extend to physically dominating a space, right? Seems most of the wandering ness is physical and not ... er.. um.. organizational?

    EDIT: hehehe i'm so rocking that list except for the dignity part LOL ... i mean i can see how what i do might not fit an INFp definition of that

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    Well a Fe-subtype looks a lot like SEI so you could ask them also. I completely agree with aka-kitsune on this. It takes me time to warm up to anyone. I like subtle at first, I would be totally scared off by aggression so I'm not sure where the advice about grabbing him by the balls fits in. ISFp and INTj are activity so I would think it would be a good relation. One of my best friends is INTj. I really like attention, yes. But it has to be the right kind of attention. not too overbearing or I'll bolt. Lots of humor. Deadpan is great. Don't act like you're trying too hard. Don't go overboard on the emotionalism either. (but I dunno if I'm Ni subtype or Fe anymore) Give me space to process (SEI and IEI can be hot and cold for awhile) before going in for the kill. lol When in doubt, suggest going out for ice cream.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    yeah what baby said. also turn on the Ti, but only halfway up. also, with them you have to initiate; ask them a lot of questions that there are complex answers to.

    i do find the like a lot of physical touch....but maybe not PDA.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine Lively View Post
    yeah what baby said. also turn on the Ti, but only halfway up. also, with them you have to initiate; ask them a lot of questions that there are complex answers to.

    i do find the like a lot of physical touch....but maybe not PDA.
    Good advice. NO PDA. You must initiate, yes.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Good advice. NO PDA. You must initiate, yes.

    yeah. and like you say ya can't just grab him by the balls either. he def won't like that lol

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I dunno... I dated an INFp that kinda liked his balls firmly grasped.

    What was the question again...?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    dude, so waiting for this and yes it is helpful

    i hate purple too. I wish you could hear me say that because its so much more convincing.

    what do you mean by domineering though? Seems like.. organizing the way things are done.. but it doesn't extend to physically dominating a space, right? Seems most of the wandering ness is physical and not ... er.. um.. organizational?

    EDIT: hehehe i'm so rocking that list except for the dignity part LOL ... i mean i can see how what i do might not fit an INFp definition of that


    If you want what repels an IEI most, think of their conflictor being unhealthy. Those neurotic tendencies - avoid them. Don't be an ass who has things planned down to the minute. Don't bust their chops for not knoiwng everything, for misrepresenting facts - don't EVER call them stupid or make them feel like it (based on my experience).


    Do, however, throw in some sexual comments here and there to start feeling them out. They seem to enjoy that - be persistent here. Get them talking about sex and that can open up some doors. (Maybe even the back door )


    ---- kind of like that.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    What kind of sexual comments UDP? Sometimes that can repel me... but hey? I'm not male.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat View Post
    I dunno... I dated an INFp that kinda liked his balls firmly grasped.

    What was the question again...?
    hm well.. there is some conflicting advice here

    my personal experience is that cupping is better than squeezing/twisting/roughness

    what were we talking about again?

    anyway that's cool... two INFps. wonder how that was.

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    yeah redbaron, you confused me.. i think i will work with Baby's list

    Currently Baby is what I picture the Fe subtype to be. More rational in behavior

    the Ni subtype I think of as Misutii.. his behavior is more irrational to me. Same vibes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat View Post
    I dunno... I dated an INFp that kinda liked his balls firmly grasped.

    What was the question again...?

    ya mean you liked grabbing his balls, hahahaha

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    What kind of sexual comments UDP? Sometimes that can repel me... but hey? I'm not male.
    if you were a guy id probably think you were intriguing that way. Like I think bluntness can always sort of work, but if its too in your face, or "temporary" or "surface".. it wont

    like DH Lawrence, vs. something more crude. I have to think of the right way to say it, but I do find INFps, when they are turned off, find the sexuality too surfacey and lacking depth. Like too one dimensional.

    that would be cool if they were more like ISFps.. but i had that ephiphany that they are not really like ISFps only the Fe subtype is more like the Fe subtype.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine Lively View Post
    ya mean you liked grabbing his balls, hahahaha


    BALLS <3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    What kind of sexual comments UDP? Sometimes that can repel me... but hey? I'm not male.
    Obviously, you cannot 'prescribe' sexual comments. You have to pay attention to her and see what she likes and how she reacts. It's not about what you want, its about what the other person is in the mood for.

    I don't know if it is different for guys or not, but I think that's a general principle for most people.



    Besides, shouldn't you talk about this yourself? I'm offering insights from afar here. Don't listen to me unless it seems applicable.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    yeah redbaron, you confused me.. i think i will work with Baby's list

    Currently Baby is what I picture the Fe subtype to be. More rational in behavior

    the Ni subtype I think of as Misutii.. his behavior is more irrational to me. Same vibes.
    I'm definitely very irrational. I didn't realize more irrational means Ni subtype? hmmmm, okay.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I'm definitely very irrational. I didn't realize more irrational means Ni subtype? hmmmm, okay.
    well, i would expect if youre "using" or focusing on your Ni more, which is what a subtype is, isn't it? you'd display more of a certain characteristic of that function.

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