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Thread: On Functional Preference

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    ...been here longer than the fucking monarchy Ezra's Avatar
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    Default On Functional Preference

    Right, basically, I've figured it out now. This might make some of you go "well, duh, that's the whole point of socionics", but I want to express it anyway.

    Functional preference isn't as bad as people think. For example, in what respects are an LIE and an SLI close? Their characters could be very alike. The difference is in what they prefer. And a conflicting relationship between an LII and an SEE isn't even that bad; the Se for the LII isn't something to be feared and shit. It's simply something the LII can't dig; of course, they might really like the SEE and see them as a really good mate. But at heart, they could not have the fruitful and satisfying relationship that duality offers. That's the nature of having a dual and a conflictor. A conflictor is someone who you could live with, may enjoy the company of, but - ultimately - won't be able to have a really happy, fulfilled life with, like you could with your dual.
    Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.

  2. #2
    Creepy-Cyclops

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    I also think (as well as dating them) it can be difficult to work with psychologically incompatible types. My personal opinion is that we can't be close friends with types which aren't favourable, but it doesn't mean they can't all hang out together here and there.

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    I've gotten along somewhat well with a few ISTjs in circumstances where we didn't have to work too closely. But I've had things completely blow up with them too.

    I can't think of any circumstance where my husband has gotten along with an ENFj. There was this ENFj neighbor who really, really tried to get along with him but it just didn't work. I can't fault the neighbor - my husband just wasn't willing to work at it at all.

    I wonder if some conflicting pairs might have more trouble than others.
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    I work with an ESE who I get along quite well with, although it feels really weird in ways I can't describe very well. It's...I dunno, it's like, I'll say something, it'll be received without any trouble, and I'll be re-thinking that same scenario several times, almost like I'm mentally standing on my tip-toes with caution. It's so strange. It isn't constantly like this, but it does happen a lot. I'm also borderline-paranoid about what I say for fear of hitting his super-ego functions somehow. It's so odd. And yet despite this we get on quite well. I could see us having conflicts if we had to live together or whatever (e.g. as flat-mates before any of you get any dirty ideas ), but...I dunno, I really feel strange in my mind about it.
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    ezra, i prefer to say, the conflicting relation is not the one that will work the best. being happy and fufilled in life is another matter that is not dependent on relations.

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    ...been here longer than the fucking monarchy Ezra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    ezra, i prefer to say, the conflicting relation is not the one that will work the best. being happy and fufilled in life is another matter that is not dependent on relations.
    I didn't say happy and fulfilled in life. I was talking about this in terms of relationships.
    Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.

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    meatburger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    A conflictor is someone who you could live with, may enjoy the company of, but - ultimately - won't be able to have a really happy, fulfilled life with, like you could with your dual.
    I am a negativist, so perhaps take what i say with a grain of salt but i think conflictor relations are a lot worse than this. My father and i annihilate each other on a daily basis. Slackermom did say that intertype relations are different between certian types though which i agree with.
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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    I am a negativist, so perhaps take what i say with a grain of salt but i think conflictor relations are a lot worse than this. My father and i annihilate each other on a daily basis.
    Would you say that your knowledge of socionics has improved your relations at all?
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    Blaze's Avatar
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    ILE/ESI conflict relations....the best that they can be is respectful distance and careful careful communications. you lose all spontaneity. all.

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    I know three SEI. I've only had problems with one, and it's because we had to do a task togheter (play football). I wanted him to play in the way which was most effective for the team to score and play well. He wanted to play in the way which would give him the most fun.
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    I completely agree Ezra in that conflict relations can be just as you described and are not necessarily the worst things in the world to have to deal with. However, I think how bad a relationship is, is also highly dependent upon the mental health of the people involved, and how they handle each of their relationships. In such a case, I believe a relationship of conflict would be worlds apart in terms of satisfaction and general level of compatibility in comparison with a dual, with the compatibility of the conflicting relationship decreasing at a rate much faster relative to the health of the people involved in comparison to one involving duality.

    ANOTHER thing, too, is that relationships are not simply about the degree to which one is satisfied with them. There are more objective factors, such as efficiency in information exchange and levels of productivity, that are greatly affected by the dynamics of each Socionic relationship.
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