lol type this nut

[Gilly]

[munenori2]

This isn't part of your rehab, is it?

How are things going, btw?

[Gilly]

I'm sober. Very sober. And learning to live a legitimate life. It's going pretty well, on the whole.

[Gilly]

Yes, I am the girl to the right who quite clearly wants you in her.

[Khamelion]

i'd hit it ;-]

[Ezra]

I'm glad to have you as my identical, Gilly.

[Gilly]

i'd hit it ;-]

Damn right you would.

Ez, you've always had me, baby.

*smooch*

[Gilly]

Man, this was even pre-college. You'd probably vomit if you saw me in the throws of cocaine addiction. I can still make myself look like an Ethiopian when I want to

[Ezra]

Gilly, when did you go to rehab? I'm not up-to-date with this at all.

[Khamelion]

Like a month ago? Maybe a little longer? Seems like it to me anyway.....

[Ezra]

I remember this thread, now. I didn't catch the bit about rehab.

Are you still there, Gilly? And are you off drugs?

[Gilly]

No I am not still there (actually it ended up being inpatient rehab...I was pretty fucked, and am not about to ever live with my parents again if I can possibly avoid it, so inpatient was pretty key).

Yes I am off all drugs, including alcohol, pot and caffeine, for the next year and 11 months. March 8th is my sobriety date, at which point in 2010 I will drink a beer and see how it goes. If it goes well, I will smoke weed and call my NA sponsor like once every hour for the next month to make sure I don't go insane/have a smoke-athon. The only non-food substances entering my body between now and then will be Celexa, a multivitamin, and any other medications I am prescribed to (sans opiod painkillers)

Wish me luck.

[Gilly]

Thanks I don't really think of it in terms of being brave; I just kinda had to accept the fact that my life was going nowhere with drugs, so in the end living without them was the only real option.

[ScarlettLux]

Gilly! I am so glad to see you back here I was kinda worried and wondering where you went... happy to hear you're off drugs and all.

You are only taking Celexa? What about antipsychotic meds for BP II? I recently decided to stop taking 20mg of Celexa.. cause I am also taking Wellbutrin.. (apparently tho, these 2 together work better for people with Bipolar tendencies rather than just normal depression) ... I really just want to get off all pills.

[Gilly]

Turns out I'm not actually bipolar. Unipolar depression and anxiety are my issues, apparently. I'm taking Celexa to make sure I don't kill myself now that I'm not self-medicating with pot, but the anxiety is a beast I'm attempting to tackle on my own.

Most people get off the pills eventually. Give it time and live a healthy life, and you eventually won't need them.

[discojoe]

Turns out I'm not actually bipolar. Unipolar depression and anxiety are my issues, apparently. I'm taking Celexa to make sure I don't kill myself now that I'm not self-medicating with pot, but the anxiety is a beast I'm attempting to tackle on my own.

Most people get off the pills eventually. Give it time and live a healthy life, and you eventually won't need them.

I don't mean this in a condescending way, but a good piece of advice is that the more you think you are "crazy" and need medication, the more crazy you will be. I'm not saying don't take the pills, but you shouldn't think of yourself as having a depressed, abnormal personality.

An example is where old people who live in nursing homes will generally die sooner and be more depressed and sick, and lethargic the less active they are, because they've accepted that they are "old" and that now it's just a waiting game, so they sit around half comatose until one day they stroke or their heart stops beating. This is also why old couples commonly die close together; when one passes on, the other usually doesn't like the idea of living without their spouse, so they practically will themselves to die soon afterward (though this I can sympathize with).

But elderly people who don't think of themselves as old, and who keep themselves as physically and mentally active as possible frequently live much longer and healthier lives, so I think that your thoughts can observably affect your physical and mental health in very significant way.

BTW, I learned about this in from studies done by a psych professor at Harvard named Ellen J Langer, so you can probably Google it or whatever.

[Khamelion]

I don't mean this in a condescending way, but a good piece of advice is that the more you think you are "crazy" and need medication, the more crazy you will be. I'm not saying don't take the pills, but you shouldn't think of yourself as having a depressed, abnormal personality.

An example is where old people who live in nursing homes will generally die sooner and be more depressed and sick, and lethargic the less active they are, because they've accepted that they are "old" and that now it's just a waiting game, so they sit around half comatose until one day they stroke or their heart stops beating. This is also why old couples commonly die close together; when one passes on, the other usually doesn't like the idea of living without their spouse, so they practically will themselves to die soon afterward (though this I can sympathize with).

But elderly people who don't think of themselves as old, and who keep themselves as physically and mentally active as possible frequently live much longer and healthier lives, so I think that your thoughts can observably affect your physical and mental health in very significant way.

BTW, I learned about this in from studies done by a psych professor at Harvard named Ellen J Langer, so you can probably Google it or whatever.

yes yes i am agreeing with peter once again

this is what i used to tell patrick all the time

[implied]

I don't mean this in a condescending way, but a good piece of advice is that the more you think you are "crazy" and need medication, the more crazy you will be. I'm not saying don't take the pills, but you shouldn't think of yourself as having a depressed, abnormal personality.

An example is where old people who live in nursing homes will generally die sooner and be more depressed and sick, and lethargic the less active they are, because they've accepted that they are "old" and that now it's just a waiting game, so they sit around half comatose until one day they stroke or their heart stops beating. This is also why old couples commonly die close together; when one passes on, the other usually doesn't like the idea of living without their spouse, so they practically will themselves to die soon afterward (though this I can sympathize with).

But elderly people who don't think of themselves as old, and who keep themselves as physically and mentally active as possible frequently live much longer and healthier lives, so I think that your thoughts can observably affect your physical and mental health in very significant way.

BTW, I learned about this in from studies done by a psych professor at Harvard named Ellen J Langer, so you can probably Google it or whatever.

applause for you wrt this. i fully agree with you.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

I don't mean this in a condescending way, but a good piece of advice is that the more you think you are "crazy" and need medication, the more crazy you will be. I'm not saying don't take the pills, but you shouldn't think of yourself as having a depressed, abnormal personality.

But if you actually do have problems you've also got to face them than deny them.

An example is where old people who live in nursing homes will generally die sooner and be more depressed and sick, and lethargic the less active they are, because they've accepted that they are "old" and that now it's just a waiting game, so they sit around half comatose until one day they stroke or their heart stops beating. This is also why old couples commonly die close together; when one passes on, the other usually doesn't like the idea of living without their spouse, so they practically will themselves to die soon afterward (though this I can sympathize with).

Most people in elderly homes are incapable of looking after themselves, or infirm. To not think you are old in that situation means that you are also deluded (which isn't good for anyone especially old people)

But elderly people who don't think of themselves as old, and who keep themselves as physically and mentally active as possible frequently live much longer and healthier lives, so I think that your thoughts can observably affect your physical and mental health in very significant way.

Maybe they don't think of themselves as old because they can lead physically and mentally active lives.

BTW, I learned about this in from studies done by a psych professor at Harvard named Ellen J Langer, so you can probably Google it or whatever.

Then it must be true

Seriously there's more than one way to look at this. It's probably best we leave off the amateur psychology (no offense) but it's best I think to leave individual cases to the professionals. It's too easy for us to get it wrong.

[hellothere]

But if you actually do have problems you've also got to face them than deny them.

I think maybe the point was to think of yourself as a person who happens to be suffering from depression rather than a person with a depressed personality who is doomed to be depressed forever

[Creepy-Cyclops]

I think maybe the point was to think of yourself as a person who happens to be suffering from depression rather than a person with a depressed personality who is doomed to be depressed forever

That makes sense.

It's seems from this way partly perception of the mind as to what works. Some people may think, I'm gonna have this forever, but i'm gonna fight it. Difficult to say what works for who. Either way depression and such not cool and hope he find way to deal.

[Ezra]

Turns out I'm not actually bipolar. Unipolar depression and anxiety are my issues, apparently. I'm taking Celexa to make sure I don't kill myself now that I'm not self-medicating with pot, but the anxiety is a beast I'm attempting to tackle on my own.

Most people get off the pills eventually. Give it time and live a healthy life, and you eventually won't need them.

And this, my friend, is how you and I are not alike.

[jessica129]

Turns out I'm not actually bipolar. Unipolar depression and anxiety are my issues, apparently. I'm taking Celexa to make sure I don't kill myself now that I'm not self-medicating with pot, but the anxiety is a beast I'm attempting to tackle on my own.

Most people get off the pills eventually. Give it time and live a healthy life, and you eventually won't need them.

How is unipolar different than depression? I'm not sure I understand the difference. But anyway, congrats. I know first hand how tough it is to deal with both anxiety and depression.

[Ezra]

Ahhh, you 6w7s and 7w6s.

[Gilly]

Unipolar depression means that I just get really depressed sometimes. It's the same as just plain old "depression." Having been substance free for a while now, it turns out that my natural disposition is just naturally a tad hyper/"manic," and combined with the impulsive tendencies of my addictive behavior, it was easy for me to apply the criteria for mania to myself and convince my shrinks of it.

dj, I agree entirely. I know for a fact that one of my personal problems with depression has been simply the idea of hopelessness: both a symptom of depression and a tempting self-fulfilling prophecy of self-pity. It's a mental illness, no doubt, but it's also one that tends to make itself even worse, a fact that I think has to be recognized for successful treatment.

Auvi, I agree, in principle and experience, with the message that your book seems to be delivering. I very well may look into it.

[jessica129]

Unipolar depression means that I just get really depressed sometimes. It's the same as just plain old "depression." Having been substance free for a while now, it turns out that my natural disposition is just naturally a tad hyper/"manic," and combined with the impulsive tendencies of my addictive behavior, it was easy for me to apply the criteria for mania to myself and convince my shrinks of it.

Sounds exactly like me. So what are you doing to control the anxiety?

[Ezra]

Rehab, pills, other shit etc.

[Gilly]

Sounds exactly like me. So what are you doing to control the anxiety?

Meditation and something I like to call "thought therapy." I've learned to recognize my anxiety, so I'm practicing just diving head-first into situations that make me anxious. Obviously when the anxiety is overwhelming this doesn't work so well, but I've found that just addressing the thought process is leading me to being able to cope with more anxious situations more effectively. My anxiety is mostly social in nature, so some things that have been good for me lately have been going into places to ask for jobs, going to social events that I might question or be tempted to feel "too tired" to do normally, and just straight up calling myself out by talking with my sister about my anxious feelings. The more you talk about it, the better, IME; when you actually hear yourself saying "I am anxious about this" to another person, it really helps put things in perspective and makes things seem not quite as big as they were before.

[Blaze]

No I am not still there (actually it ended up being inpatient rehab...I was pretty fucked, and am not about to ever live with my parents again if I can possibly avoid it, so inpatient was pretty key).

Yes I am off all drugs, including alcohol, pot and caffeine, for the next year and 11 months. March 8th is my sobriety date, at which point in 2010 I will drink a beer and see how it goes. If it goes well, I will smoke weed and call my NA sponsor like once every hour for the next month to make sure I don't go insane/have a smoke-athon. The only non-food substances entering my body between now and then will be Celexa, a multivitamin, and any other medications I am prescribed to (sans opiod painkillers)

Wish me luck.

my sobriety date is March 10, 1991.

you know gill, since we seem to have identical lives in many ways, if you are having anxiety you might want to have your thyroid checked. this could all be thyroid. i often wonder how my life would have been different if i had had my thyroid checked when younger.

FWIW.

[Gilly]

Yeah, my mom has a thyroid disorder, but I've been checked multiple times and everything appears to be fine and dandy. *shrugs*

Hey people, VI me for realz.

[Ezra]

The type that belongs in an asylum? Just kidding. Maybe,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Blaze]

good glad you don't have hyperthyroidism. i'd keep checking from time to time though since these things run in families.

as for your type, i have never thought anything other than ILE.

[munenori2]

@ the black and white pic. Is that your sis? She kind of reminds of anamericancer a little bit.

[Gilly]

No, she's not my sister, but I do think she is ILE. Well spotted.

Props for the quotes in your sig, too.

[munenori2]

No, she's not my sister, but I do think she is ILE. Well spotted.

Props for the quotes in your sig, too.

Why thank you sir.

[JuJu]

You look ENFj in all of those latter pictures... I'm glad that things are goin well too.