I do not think we can. Or at least, I cannot. I fail, greatly, at this. It seems like I have to follow other people's leads in terms of what is acceptable. I've been trying to come up with my own idea of a code of what's right and wrong, some sense of what to work towards. For the last 3-4 years.
And in every instance, I have essentially failed, and seem almost entirely dependent on the influences of others.
It's kind of pathetic, but I suppose it make sense. I understand now why NFs are actually important.