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Thread: SLEs being put off by IEI's being needy and emotional (INFp-ESTp)

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    Default SLEs being put off by IEI's being needy and emotional (INFp-ESTp)

    This is probably a stupid post, but why not?

    INFp's are complex creatures; we are very sensitive to emotions, and we tend to get emotionally attached to our partners. We seem to have a need of connecting with the other person on a very deep emotional level in order to be truly happy in our relationships, or it feels weird. I could see where something like this would scare the ESTp off, so I was wondering how this actually works out with ESTP-INFP duality?

    Do ESTp's generally get put off by deeply emotional touchy people? Perhaps the duality actually calms down this needy feeling that the INFp experiences?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    Perhaps the duality actually calms down this needy feeling that the INFp experiences?
    That's been my experience. SLE's don't take those touchy/highly-sensitive aspects of our personality as seriously as other people (Fi-PoLR) so it has the effect of emphasizing the more robust aspects of our personality and de-emphasizing the more tender stuff. On the other hand, they can be pretty intense lovers as well, so it might bring out your more romantic qualities.

    Of course, watch out for asshats of any type.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    Nope. IME, the ESTp's focus and intensity within relationships is similar to mine.

    They tend to back off from dramatics though, so if the INFp is really unhealthy or just completely out of control (emotionally), an outburst will be met with stone silence until the INFp calms down a little bit.

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    I've watched several fights between and ESTP (girl) and INFP (guy) couple, and they both seem equally passionate and emotional. They seem to need and want a lot of eachother's attention, so the INFP isn't asking for anything more than the ESTP is. It seems the ESTP also needs a lot of validation and someone to say "wow, good job!" and the INFP does that really well. And the INFP needs the same thing. They both seem to praise eachother a lot "you're amazing. fucking amazing" etc. So I don't think the INFP would scare off the ESTP at all, espectially because the ESTP really needs the INFP to be there to hear their venting/ranting about stuff, etc. And the ESTP enjoys helping the INFP w/ conflict situations, etc. It just seems very comfortable and compatible to me, and the INFP certainly doesn't seem any more "emotional" than the ESTP, because to me, ESTPs appear really passionate/emotional etc, even though under that they are super logical/strategic, etc.

    Just my two cents.
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    From what I can tell duals feel like revealing their unhealthy sides to one another. the dual on the receiving end of it is wishing you'd click back in to normal mode ... it doesn't threaten them, but they don't particularly enjoy it. it works both ways. example- ILI shows their sappy and emotional side to SEE.. this is not what SEE wants or needs, etc. People who are really unhealthy have a harder time with controling themselves.. try and retain your regular personality.. don't abandon it and go in to shadow mode, which is so tempting around your dual.
    INTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedrat View Post
    From what I can tell duals feel like revealing their unhealthy sides to one another. the dual on the receiving end of it is wishing you'd click back in to normal mode ... it doesn't threaten them, but they don't particularly enjoy it. it works both ways. example- ILI shows their sappy and emotional side to SEE.. this is not what SEE wants or needs, etc. People who are really unhealthy have a harder time with controling themselves.. try and retain your regular personality.. don't abandon it and go in to shadow mode, which is so tempting around your dual.
    This is good advice.

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