Why do IEIs-INFps want/desire attention?
Why is the INFp so desirous of attention? What are the underlying insecurities? What do we think will happen if we are ignored? What influence do function have?
What do you think?
I have some of my own ideas, but they aren't translated yet. So I will post them when I figure out how to express them.
In the meantime...
Perhaps INFps are so desirous of attention because they are members of the beta quadra and the beta quadra correlates to the second of Grof's four basic perinatal matrices which presents "the experience of no exit or hell" and also "feelings of metaphysical loneliness" due to the loss of the feeling of connectedness experienced in the first perinatal matrix. I think that betas in general seek to regain that feeling of connectedness (INFps tend to do this passively rather than actively; their behavior of "waiting for the right moment" is a good example of this) and maybe the fact that INFps have Fe in their ego block makes them want to seek this connection on a personal, human level.
Of course, that is all very theoretical but I am assuming that you did want a reply that spoke of things in terms of socionics.
"which presents "the experience of no exit or hell" and also "feelings of metaphysical loneliness" due to the loss of the feeling of connectedness experienced "
I concur with part 2 but what does "the experience of no exit or hell" mean?
It is a negative feeling involving claustrophobic notions of being trapped inside a barren, empty, and meaningless world.
If you wish to read the article from which I was quoting, it can be found at http://www.mimbres.com/holp/holpath/bpms.htm
Sweet! Thanks.
come to think of it... I should find one of those cheesy philosophical test thingies to post on here after I get back home (gotta leave soon). It would be fun to see if there are any similarities/contrasts in philosophical opinion.
WOW! What a post.
I used to sing and dance. Then I realized people were paying attention to me and not to the group. Knowing this made me self-conscious. I felt like I was performing for an audience rather than making music with my friends. I am very aware of my imperfections. Empty praises felt like mockery. I couldn't stand the feeling, so I quit.
I'm not afraid to stand out. But I do not seek attention. I tend to smile and blush modestly when people pay attention to me. People find this attractive and think I like the attention. But I smile when I am nervous. And I blush when I am embarrassed. The emotions are intense. I can tolerate it in private with close friends. But it can be painful at other times.
I see myself as a source of action, not a recipient. Assertive action means making our own decisions. Aggressive action means making decisions for others as well. A passive person would allow others to make decisions for them.
I want to know when, where, and how to assert myself. I want to act effectively and efficiently. My behavior of "waiting for the right moment" is a good example this. I'm not passive.
I go for the more romantic notion that the desire to understand is the highest form of love.Originally Posted by tempus
Man, I wish I knew more than one Ni/Fe irl. I barely even get to see him anymore =(
It seems to be a comman pattern that Im sitting next to an ESTp girl in classes. It happens so frequently, it seems, if Im correct on my temperament judgement. talk, talk, talk, talk, talk... hehehehe
I think I want attention because I get lost in my fantasy world when I'm alone, and then I get the feeling that I'm no longer real. So therefore, I need someone else to recognize me and reassure my realness.
I just thought of this, but when I was little (until about 5th grade) I was ALWAYS alone. But it was because I wanted it that way. I wanted to play by myself, eat by myself, everything by myself. SOMETIMES I'd let my brother into my fantasy play world, but hardly ever because he'd always ruin it.
I think having norepinephrine levels that are too high can cause this.
.. I hear a lot of introverts have experiences like this.Lets share! When I was around 11-12, I had this weird feeling take over me a few times. It happened in the shower when nobody was home. I'd stare at my hand and start thinking...Is this my hand? How is this hand mine? I then got this terrible sense of not being connected to myself. I quickly rinsed off and ran to call a friend on the phone. It was freaky. I had to reassure myself I was...me.I think I want attention because I get lost in my fantasy world when I'm alone, and then I get the feeling that I'm no longer real. So therefore, I need someone else to recognize me and reassure my realness.
I just thought of this, but when I was little (until about 5th grade) I was ALWAYS alone. But it was because I wanted it that way. I wanted to play by myself, eat by myself, everything by myself. SOMETIMES I'd let my brother into my fantasy play world, but hardly ever because he'd always ruin it.
weak?
I'll have to ask my sister about this one. I never heard of that kind of dissasociation from the body. Infps are marvelously freaky. I wonder if intps have similar experiences.
Topaz
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
examples of the type of detachment I've felt...
examples:
-Feeling like things around me are very surreal.
-Feeling like I do not exist.
-Feeling like I have no idea who I am.
-Feeling like what I believe to be true of the wold around me is an illusion created in my mind.
-Feeling like people around me are just humoring me and not actually liking me or caring about what I say.
-Feeling like life is lived walking around on ice, but I've fallen through and cannot find my way back out. I can come up out of the water to get air from between the water and the ice, but I find a way through the ice, and I'm exhausted and numb. I'm not sure why I keep trying, but I continue to as if I have no choice.
-Not feeling confident that I actually am where I think I am.
-Feeling like I am a stranger in my own life.
-Feeling like I am a stranger in my own mind.
-Feeling like nothing matters.
-Feeling like everyone else's needs and wishes are more important to than mine (since I exist in an unstable state).
-Not being sure if emotions or opinions I am thinking about are truly mine or if they are actually someone else's.
-Feeling like it doesn't matter if I can figure out who I am because in a few days it'll be totally different.
-Feeling like I just "woke up" after a couple of weeks of being totally out of it, days blending together and not realizing that I'm not really doing anything.
-Seeing other people hurting and feeling overwhelming compassion and yet understanding that pain must exist because that is the nature of the universe, and getting stuck in that state of mind.
-Not caring that I am experiencing painful emotions.
-Not understanding the effect that my words or actions have on others.
-Remembering various phases of my life like it was someone else's life and I just got a front row seat.
-Doing something and then a few days later not being able to remember why on earth I would have done that.
-Out of body feelings.
-Not caring how hard things are for me at a given time because I understand that time is totally irrelevant.
-Being able to feel emotions in one part of me but then stepping into another part to make decisons or figure things out or just get away from it all for a while.
-Placing the highest level of importance on being able to view things from as many perspectives as possible.
-Feeling incapable of making decisons.
-Not being able to tell if I am unhappy in a relationship or just simply unhappy.
-Not being able to tell if I even am truly unhappy.
-Feeling that I cannot trust my memories of my perceptions of the past.
That sounds depressing =( ever see the robot on Hitchhikers Guide?
lol no
lol watch it! The first time I saw that robot I exclaimed, "Mom!" and my friends laughed because they knew what I was talking about haha (she has a knack for telling people the most god awful depressing stories ever). She tests INFx btw.
Weak something, that's for sure. Something goes screwy there for a bit!weak
Weak Se certainly makes sense. I mean, we become like space cadets.
*sings David Bowie's "Space Oddity"*
And Joy, I've felt all those ways too...I mean...I feel those ways too...
And Joy again, don't go watching the movie. Read the books, much better.
Umm.... that could be a temporal lobe seizureLets share! When I was around 11-12, I had this weird feeling take over me a few times. It happened in the shower when nobody was home. I'd stare at my hand and start thinking...Is this my hand? How is this hand mine? I then got this terrible sense of not being connected to myself. I quickly rinsed off and ran to call a friend on the phone. It was freaky. I had to reassure myself I was...me.I think I want attention because I get lost in my fantasy world when I'm alone, and then I get the feeling that I'm no longer real. So therefore, I need someone else to recognize me and reassure my realness.
I just thought of this, but when I was little (until about 5th grade) I was ALWAYS alone. But it was because I wanted it that way. I wanted to play by myself, eat by myself, everything by myself. SOMETIMES I'd let my brother into my fantasy play world, but hardly ever because he'd always ruin it.. But probably not invariably, I don't think that everytime I have that experience it's a seizure. Not that I'm the best person to judge this but nobody else has told me any different!
But it makes sense in terms of attention seeking.
This is down right freaky, way freaky.... I had the same thing happening to me... For me it is too connected with hot water and maybe being tired, very tired... The way I would describe the experience is like a breach in the time line continuum... like normally you know unconsciously what you have done in the last split second but in that situation the time line is breached... I wakeup not knowing what happened the last second/minute/hour and that throws me way off... with feelings like not being myself, not knowing where I am...
The last time was after a new year party some 4 years ago... I totally freaked all the people there when I emerged from the bathroom totally lost... I could not remember what happened... were I was... I recognized my girlfriend and knew her name but knew nothing else about her... I emptied my wallet on the floor and I kept looking at my school schedule not being able to comprehend why did it said 5th year when I knew for a fact that I was in the 4th... my girlfriend way crying her heart out and I was like in a short loop trying to understand a simple concept like "when I am" and failing... finally my friends panicked and took me to a hospital where of course they did not found anything. They tell me that I was kidding with the doctor... she was asking me questions about orientation and I was like "yeah, yeah, like I don't know the answer to that one hi hi hi..." failing to answer of course.... around 6 PM the timeline got "repaired"
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
I keep on saying that Ne-Si is very similar, not exactly the same.. but similar.
More specifically, this sounds like what I was talking about before with Si being like viewing the like it's a movie:
-Remembering various phases of my life like it was someone else's life and I just got a front row seat.
-Not feeling confident that I actually am where I think I am.
-Feeling like what I believe to be true of the wold around me is an illusion created in my mind.
YouThis is down right freaky, way freaky.... I had the same thing happening to me... For me it is too connected with hot water and maybe being tired, very tired... The way I would describe the experience is like a breach in the time line continuum... like normally you know unconsciously what you have done in the last split second but in that situation the time line is breached... I wakeup not knowing what happened the last second/minute/hour and that throws me way off... with feelings like not being myself, not knowing where I am...
The last time was after a new year party some 4 years ago... I totally freaked all the people there when I emerged from the bathroom totally lost... I could not remember what happened... were I was... I recognized my girlfriend and knew her name but knew nothing else about her... I emptied my wallet on the floor and I kept looking at my school schedule not being able to comprehend why did it said 5th year when I knew for a fact that I was in the 4th... my girlfriend way crying her heart out and I was like in a short loop trying to understand a simple concept like "when I am" and failing... finally my friends panicked and took me to a hospital where of course they did not found anything. They tell me that I was kidding with the doctor... she was asking me questions about orientation and I was like "yeah, yeah, like I don't know the answer to that one hi hi hi..." failing to answer of course.... around 6 PM the timeline got "repaired"people are all creeping me out a bit, I'm worrying about your neurological health
God! I just had something like that.
I was looking at myself in the mirror.
Suddenly I started looking deeper, but at the same time detaching.
I could see my eyes on the mirror looking into my real eyes.
Then I moved my arm, but I WASN'T MOVING MY ARM, IT WAS THE IMAGE ON THE MIRROR THAT WAS MOVING THE ARM AND I WAS REFLECTING IT.
Scary.
Fortunately I tuned in after 5 seconds.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Wow I seem to process it so much different. For example, 2 years ago I was sitting in a class and I began to daydream because I was getting bored. 2 hours later my focus was still in the same direction (forward towards the instructor) and he said, "Michael, did you have a question? You look like you have a question." I spaced off 2 hours without even knowing it. My mind was catalyzing elsewhere. I have to be careful of this when watching other people, too. It will seem as though Im staring at them when Im actually not even focusing on them. Im daydreaming past them out of the current surrounding. Sounds silly now that I read it =/ Ive also lost hours at home doing this. I'll be relaxing and playing WC3 and say I'll brb and come back 2 hours later having lost track a large chunk of time from getting caught up in something else mentally. I come back and everyone asks, "So, did you fall in again?" haha.
Me, too.. Introverted Perception?
@ Rocky:
Plausible. I dont mean to do it. I dont do it under abnormal circumstances. It seems to be when Im relaxed or have a need to escape for some reason. I guess what Im trying to say is that it could be that or something internal as well or maybe a combination?
I do know that something similar but less intense happens normally in drivers when they drive either: a long, familiar route OR a long, continuous route of ease. Ive experienced that, too, but it is far less intense because I still feel there.
Maybe there's a relation from all of this?
edit- so you all know who I was talking to.
OMG, My ENFj friend has a stare that penetrates into people. So that's what's partially fueling her eyes. hmmm, interesting, thanks for sharing Jadae.
LOL yes. If Im lucky, like when Im hosting and taking everyone out to eat, I dont have to lead with the talking (like I usually have to do) and my mind will just relax and just start staring into god-knows-what and not having to be in the conversation. Dont get me wrong, I like hosting, but sometimes its just nice to be able to do that...
But ya, that's just one example... Im sure youve seen others from your friend.
Well what else can I say... I guess we INFps all know that "there is something wrong with the world around us", the MATRIX has usHot water, *check.*
Being tired, *check.*
I totally agree! I love identicals. You understand.
Beautifully put.The way I would describe the experience is like a breach in the time line continuum...
Now... were did I put that red pill...
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
Dont take any pill! It's a trick~ uhm, there is no pill? :/
Ahah, yeah now I realize that my post sounds sarcastic, but it was not, really.I hope you aren't being sarcastic, 'cause, that happened to me too! Staring deep into the mirror is freaky. I asked my husband if he has this happen and he just looked at me like...."okay..." His strong Se doesn't allow for this kind of experience, I guess. Oh! I just remembered. When I asked my ESFp ex-boyfriend if he had ever had this experience, he said no. But he was very curious as to what it meant. He even asked me to do it in front of him, he wanted to see me feel freaked out. I said no. And called him the freak.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I think I mentioned before that it sounds similar to auras/temporal lobe seizures. Hence my worryReally? Why? It's a natural response to stressors. The point is to minimize the stressors and all will work as it is intended. At least that's what I've observed. Those kind of reactions are always a sign for me to fix whatever outside pressures are getting the best of me. How do you see it?You
But if for the rest of you it is related to stress etc., then I guess it's different. As far as I know (it's not usually obvious if I have a seizure unless somebody tells me, I don't have tonic-clonic or atonic seizures so it's not like I find myself on the ground or anything), I also have these events in relation to stress/meditation/contemplation/philosophy/mucking around/etc.. But perhaps more often (again, it is hard to tell precisely because of the nature of seizures) it is seizure activity - usually spontaneous but sometimes triggered by an auditory event.
Just so you know what I'm talking about, here are some lists from various websites.
Signs and symptoms
Temporal lobe seizures frequently are preceded by an aura, which is caused by an electrical discharge. Auras can consist of:
* A sudden sense of unprovoked fear
* A deja vu experience
* The sudden occurrence of a strange odor or taste
* A rising sensation in the abdomen
The aura is actually a small seizure itself. If the electrical discharge spreads to other regions of the brain, rhythmic muscle contractions or jerking and a loss of consciousness can occur.
Temporal lobe seizures are characterized by one- to two-minute episodes of loss of awareness or contact with your surroundings. During a temporal lobe seizure, you may smack your lips, swallow repeatedly or pick at things with your fingers. Such activities are called automatisms. After a temporal lobe seizure, you may be confused for a few minutes and may have difficulty speaking. Many people have no memory of the events that occurred during their temporal lobe seizure.
Your behavior during a temporal lobe seizure may appear to be deliberate to onlookers. People having these types of seizures have been mistaken for being drunk, taking drugs or having a mental illness.Symptoms Return to top
The early warning symptoms (called an aura) include:
* Abnormal sensations
* Epigastric sensations ("a funny feeling in my gut," "stomach rising,")
* Hallucinations or illusions (vision, smells, tastes, or other sensory illusions)
* Sensation of deja vu, recalled emotions or memories
* Sudden, intense emotion not related to anything occurring at the time
* Consciousness maintained during the seizure or spell (partial)
* Consciousness reduced or lost during the seizure or spell (partial complex)
Movement disturbances include:
* Abnormal mouth behaviors
o Lip smacking
o Chewing or swallowing without cause
o Profuse salivation "slobbering"
* Abnormal head movements
o Forced turning of the head
o Forced turning of the eyes
o Usually in the direction opposite of the location of the lesion
* Repetitive movements, such as picking at clothing
* Rhythmic muscle contraction and relaxation (rare) -- affecting one side of the body, one arm, leg, part of face, or other isolated area
Abnormal sensations include:
* Numbness, tingling, crawling sensation
* Occurring in only one part of the body or spreading
* Preceding motor symptoms
* Sensory hallucinations (visual, hearing, touch, etc.)
Autonomic symptoms include:
* Abdominal pain or discomfort
* Nausea
* Sweating
* Flushed face
* Dilated pupils (eyes)
* Rapid heart rate/pulse
Other symptoms include:
* Changes in vision, speech, thought, awareness, personality
* Loss of memory (amnesia) regarding events around the seizure (partial complex seizure)
Sorry about the long post!Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
What is it like?
Here's a typical story: "I get the strangest feeling—most of it can't be put into words. The whole world suddenly seems more real at first. It's as though everything becomes crystal clear. Then I feel as if I'm here but not here, kind of like being in a dream. It's as if I've lived through this exact moment many times before. I hear what people say, but they don't make sense. I know not to talk during the episode, since I just say foolish things. Sometimes I think I'm talking but later people tell me that I didn't say anything. The whole thing lasts a minute or two."
The features of seizures beginning in the temporal lobe can be extremely varied, but certain patterns are common. There may be a mixture of different feelings, emotions, thoughts, and experiences, which may be familiar or completely foreign. In some cases, a series of old memories resurfaces. In others, the person may feel as if everything—including home and family—appears strange. Hallucinations of voices, music, people, smells, or tastes may occur. These features are called “auras” or “warnings.” They may last for just a few seconds, or may continue as long as a minute or two.
Experiences during temporal lobe seizures vary in intensity and quality. Sometimes the seizures are so mild that the person barely notices. In other cases, the person may be consumed with fright, intellectual fascination, or even pleasure.
The experiences and sensations that accompany these seizures are often impossible to describe, even for the most eloquent adult. And of course it is even more difficult to get an accurate picture of what children are feeling.
Dostoyevsky, the 19th-century Russian novelist, who himself had epilepsy, gave vivid accounts of apparent temporal lobe seizures in his novel The Idiot:
He remembered that during his epileptic fits, or rather immediately preceding them, he had always experienced a moment or two when his whole heart, and mind, and body seemed to wake up with vigor and light; when he became filled with joy and hope, and all his anxieties seemed to be swept away for ever; these moments were but presentiments, as it were, of the one final second…in which the fit came upon him. That second, of course, was inexpressible.
Next moment something appeared to burst open before him: a wonderful inner light illuminated his soul. This lasted perhaps half a second, yet he distinctly remembered hearing the beginning of a wail, the strange, dreadful wail, which burst from his lips of its own accord, and which no effort of will on his part could suppress. Next moment he was absolutely unconscious; black darkness blotted out everything. He had fallen in an epileptic fit.
I should perhaps add that while the quotes I quoted mention deja vu, jamais vu is also common (which is more like what you guys are describing).
well... I guess ADD was not enough.... I had to have a little bit of epilepsy going on too...
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
Hehe.well... I guess ADD was not enough.... I had to have a little bit of epilepsy going on too...
I never said that you all have epilepsy, there are just some similar features I guess. Partial seizures are difficult like that, the tend to look like other things.
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