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Thread: Mirror Relations: Stories and Experiences

  1. #161

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    Last edited by Iwantpeace; 01-11-2017 at 06:11 PM.

  2. #162

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Depends on the ILE. Sometimes they are just obviously trying way too hard with Fe and end up looking foolish. In other cases the Ni ignoring bothers me more actually.
    that is interesting...but why do you value Ni? Your Ni is like the ESE's Se. I dont think I even care about Se.

    Also...not sure why as I get older the ILE lack of Fi wears on me..

  3. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by sorrowsofyoungwerther View Post
    that is interesting...but why do you value Ni? Your Ni is like the ESE's Se. I dont think I even care about Se.

    Also...not sure why as I get older the ILE lack of Fi wears on me..
    The demonstrative function is something that we do pay attention to in the moment, though we are unlikely to criticize others for it except in extreme circumstances. What does "not caring about Se" mean to you?

  4. #164

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    The demonstrative function is something that we do pay attention to in the moment, though we are unlikely to criticize others for it except in extreme circumstances. What does "not caring about Se" mean to you?
    To me not caring about Se means: not over-exerting myself physically (i.e. at the gym, going to clubs, adrenaline inducing sports), not being interested in hierarchy, or accumulating wealth. Instead having a strong preference to listening to the inner-state of my being and trying to maintain an internal calmness or homeostasis instead of being engaged with the external environment. I will decline interesting external opportunities if it will be physically uncomfortable (i.e. staying up very late even if socializing with friends, invitations to bars (could be loud and smokey), or going out when I know it will be cold and icy). I am an SP user so I could be confusing being an sx/sp with ignoring Se. In generally I don't think I use Se.

  5. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by sorrowsofyoungwerther View Post
    To me not caring about Se means: not over-exerting myself physically (i.e. at the gym, going to clubs, adrenaline inducing sports), not being interested in hierarchy, or accumulating wealth. Instead having a strong preference to listening to the inner-state of my being and trying to maintain an internal calmness or homeostasis instead of being engaged with the external environment. I will decline interesting external opportunities if it will be physically uncomfortable (i.e. staying up very late even if socializing with friends, invitations to bars (could be loud and smokey), or going out when I know it will be cold and icy). I am an SP user so I could be confusing being an sx/sp with ignoring Se. In generally I don't think I use Se.
    That makes sense for subdued but some parts do sound more like ignoring. ESEs usually are active, busy people, this is the main way they express .

  6. #166
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    I personally haven't gotten along super well with most IEEs I may have come into contact with. It's hard for me to type most people with whom I am not close, so I can look at my friends and say I only have one good friend who is IEE, but I can't say if this is because I just haven't encountered many IEEs or because I genuinely don't get along with them on average.

    We met in college through a student organization for furthering international development. Things I like about her: she is totally dedicated to helping poor people all over the world--really going to places that need help and setting up programs for their specific problems. She is really selfless in this, putting her personal life on hold. We fiercely love people and find them frustrating in the same ways; our life stories actually mirror each other's in many ways (same ethnicity and nationality, same parental dynamic growing up). She is a very thoughtful, perceptive, non-judgmental confidante and great listener--someone I trust to be able to listen to confused/vague feelings of unhappiness and figure out the root cause of them (like I do for my friends, but sometimes find difficult to do for myself).

    Things I don't like about her: maybe she is a bit too selfless. I feel like she would be happier if she settled down in a more permanent location and could really date more seriously, but perhaps I am just projecting my own preferences onto her. She is also too energetic for me to be with for an extended period of time, and I feel like she often puts herself in needless danger for the sake of excitement/adventure (though I understand this is definitely a difference in preferences). Her stories both impress and scare me. They are very interesting, but I can't help but feel she is somehow extremely lucky in being able to emerge from them unscathed. Finally, it's somewhat unfortunate that she is always off in some other country. It's impossible to fully merge with a friend like that. But we are still really close in the sense that she always stays with me when she is in my city , and this is when we talk about all our hopes and fears and psychologically merge again, even if only temporarily.

    Other people whom I suspect are IEEs: I think I find most IEEs a bit tedious in their effusive, somewhat fake enthusiasm. What I find really annoying is when other people cannot tell the IEE is being fake so these people just love the IEE. I suppose there is some jealousy here, because I think I have some pretty good, deep qualities, but they are not as appreciated as bubbliness. Note that I don't think IEEs are generally fake people; from my friendship with one, I am sure they are beautifully authentic with those with whom they are close. But they are definitely more prone to being weirdly bubbly with strangers/acquaintances, which I find suspicious. Again, that might just be because if I were that bubbly with strangers, it would be 100% fake, but maybe IEEs are just genuinely bubbly all the time.

    From the IEE's viewpoint, I think my close IEE friend sees me as more focused and directed in achieving my goals than she is (though from my POV, she's still somehow moving forward in her goals, at an excellent pace). I think acquaintance IEEs find me boring, meek, or not sufficiently confident to be interesting, especially because we mostly interact in groups, and I usually take a backseat in group interaction.

    While I love my friend, ours is not the kind of relationship I am seeking for a romantic partner (not just in terms of physical distance, but also in terms of how we interact when we are together), and I haven't dated any IEEs that I know of, so I don't have much info to provide in terms of romantic mirror relationships, though you might view that lack of info as informative in and of itself.

  7. #167
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    In church. My IEE friends go to church and we're long time friends. Also I met two IEE friends in school and made a few here on the forum. One at work. I love my IEE friends because we have similar values, that is to be social protectors and advocates, to help people, make close relationships and take care of our relationship and God. We are ethical and reinforce our ethical values while talking to one another. Among some differences are IEE are not as stubborn as I am and they keep people at a greater distance so they are not as affected by what strangers say and do.
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  8. #168
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    Mirror relations are generally good because of similar values and thoughts
    Last edited by Shytan; 02-02-2017 at 07:43 PM.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  9. #169
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    Scratch that: some IEIs are lovely and pleasantly bubbly and just a nice person to be around when you want an easy conversation. I don't seem to notice the other ones.
    Reason is a whore.

  10. #170
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    The one person that I believe could have been a mirror was found on this site. It was interesting, but sadly I consider the whole thing biased because I knew he was a mirror. Pretty much how I remember it is that he talked about stuff that went over my head, and then I talked about stuff that went over his head. That is how I remember it, and I am not sure that what I said really went over his head. I'm just assuming that my side was equivalent to his side, but mirrored.

    Now, I've probably dealt with mirrors IRL, but I've stopped typing people IRL because I am not a reliable typer and more importantly I don't want to bias myself towards or against people I know.

  11. #171
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    I probably have more ILI Mirror friends than any other type. We pretty much understand each other, being in the same quadra. They can be really funny, and they are usually really smart. Their Fe-PoLR doesn't bother me; I just assume they are going to be a dick sometimes and that's fine with me. It doesn't affect how much I like them, because once you get to know them, they are really good people.

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    There are several Mirror marriages, primarily between Ethicals though, in my experience.
    ESI-SEE and EII-IEE being the most common ones.

    Personally, I cannot comment much on how I find Mirror relations in particular, because I've had very little (extended) exposure to EIE people both IRL and online.

    I just know that Mirrors can be interesting individuals, they seem vaguely similar to me in some ways, but also oddly different in others.
    The Temperament difference throws me off a bit, but I can overlook that in favour of their general spirit and our shared Quadra values.

    Interestingly, I have personally encountered only male EIEs so far, even though they are supposedly more rare than the female kind.

    I don't know if the OP asked for that information, but romantically or sexually I am more attracted to other types, generally.
    EIEs can seem pleasant or temporarily fun to me, but they don't really "stir" or "ignite" me internally like other types tend to. This has something to do with my Imago, probably...
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  13. #173

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    I've been in a mirror relationship with an ESE for about 2.5 years, and a lot of what was said here is true. We started off with lots of misunderstandings and ups and downs, however, after it reached a certain point, all arguments subsided and it kinda just reached a plateau and stayed there. It's been pretty smooth ever since. I'll admit it's gotten a bit dry, but it's not a bad relationship by any means. There's a lot of mutual understanding and support from both sides, just not the most "sparkly" of relationships.

    I'll list out the positives and negatives of the relationship.

    The pros:
    - It's a very comfortable relationship. I can be my full self around him without any judgment.
    - We find we generally understand each other and agree on most issues.
    - We enjoy doing the same things together, which makes the relationship fun and relaxing.
    - We can have very deep and interesting conversations with no miscommunication issues.
    - We hardly ever fight, and if we do, it's usually short-lived.
    - He's just enough different from me to make it a balanced relationship.

    The cons:
    - The relationship can lack passion and excitement.
    - We don't have sex very often, as a result of a lack of passion.
    - He's a great guy and I love him to bits, but at times I can find him a bit boring.
    - His high energy levels can be overwhelming.
    - As an introvert and extrovert, we have differing needs when it comes to seeing each other. He wants to see my all the time, I need my alone time.

    In my opinion, it's definitely a more positive relationship than a negative one, however, the negatives must be worked on for the relationship to last. The best part about this relationship for me is that I'm able to be best friends with my partner, and we can appreciate and understand each other as individuals. The friendship part of this relationship is amazing.

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