Recent events have compelled me to rant about my conflictor. Feel free to disregard this post.
Here's the deal: I plan on studying clinical psychology in graduate school (at the masters level; I'm not qualified enough to get into a doctoral program), and a great number of the administrators and professors in clinical psychology programs are ESTjs. This surprised me, because I didn't think that clinical psychology would be a field ESTjs would gravitate to. I was wrong.
Anyway, I had a very disappointing interview with one program's chairpersons, both of whom were ESTjs. I explained to them my interest in psychology as a philosophy and as a practice, how I'd read books by Freud, Rogers, Beck, and Ellis, how I'd come up with new ideas for self-actualizing psychotherapies, how I was motivated to become a psychotherapist because I cared about people, and how I was open to a broad array of research interests and wasn't committed to one thing and one thing only. They looked at me with disdain and confusion. They wanted to know what research I'd completed, what specific project I was looking to do, and what administrative questions I had. This is totally understandable, seeing that research elements are critically important to psychology as a scientific discipline, but they COMPLETELY ignored the humanistic aspect of psychology. They weren't interested in anything philosophical, emotional, or interpersonal, regardless of how relevant it might be to becoming a good clinician. It was a bad interview and there was a lot of disagreement, tension, and bewildered stares (on their part, mostly). I felt like an outcast.
Anyway, my point is this: it's frustrating to be constantly subjected to the authority of people whose values and perspectives are so fundamentally different from your own. Especially when these people hold positions of power across the board and use these positions of power to impose their personal beliefs of what's "normal" on others. It's invalidating to have that which you value in yourself frowned upon, and it really does a number on your self-esteem.
But I'm not giving up. I'm going to find a program whose leaders I connect with and from whom I can learn new things.
I hope you all are well .