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Thread: Do ISFjs prefer to date "bad boys"?

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    Default Do ISFjs prefer to date "bad boys"?

    ISFjs like bad boys. This is true.

    The question is: why?
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    I dunno about that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    I dunno about that.
    i thought they were a bit of the opposite.
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    Whose Opposite?
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Are they the givers or the receivers, in terms of masochism

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    Whose Opposite?
    If you look long enough into the void, the void begins to look back through you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Are they the givers or the receivers, in terms of masochism
    IT SEEMS THAT THEY ARE LOOKING TO GET HURT/MISTREATED OR SOME DERIVATIVE THEREOF. I SUPPOSE THEY ARE NOT OPPOSED TO GIVING AS WELL AS RECEIVING. BUT THEY SEEM TO GET TURNED ON BY LISTREATMENT, PAIN, HUMILIATION.

    NOT SURE HOW IT WORKS EXACTLY.
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    IT SEEMS THAT THEY ARE LOOKING TO GET HURT/MISTREATED OR SOME DERIVATIVE THEREOF. I SUPPOSE THEY ARE NOT OPPOSED TO GIVING AS WELL AS RECEIVING. BUT THEY SEEM TO GET TURNED ON BY LISTREATMENT, PAIN, HUMILIATION.

    NOT SURE HOW IT WORKS EXACTLY.
    Do you think ISFj's can or like to be martyrs? So in a sort of way, its like putting up with things in a 'martyr' like way ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Do you think ISFj's can or like to be martyrs? So in a sort of way, its like putting up with things in a 'martyr' like way ?

    THAT'S MORE THE esfj STYLE I THINK. ISFJs SEEM TO 'LIKE IT ROUGH' I WOULD SAY.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    Actually, I was wondering if ISFjs sometimes can seem masochistic in that they become overly dutiful and take everything upon themselves. Then if others don't appreciate this, and take it for granted, it becomes somewhat sad.

    Someone who I know who I think is ISFj said "I'll go around the world and back for you, I'll do anything for you, if you ask me nicely." This same person would probably do that anyway for people she's loyal to even if they didn't ask her nicely. When she describes her family situation, I get the feeling she secretly feels rather under appreciated, or simply is rather under appreciated.

    I wonder if I have her type wrong. Maybe this is being confused with the Myersian ISFJ (which she incidentally tests as).

    And of course most people would be willing to do just about anything for someone they're strongly devoted to... it was the "if you ask me nicely" part that seemed particularly striking to me.

    she sounds more ISFP.

    what I have in mind is the type of girl that goes to have an orgy, or the one who dates a gangster, the trophy wife, that sort of ting.
    Last edited by Dioklecian; 03-12-2008 at 11:06 PM.
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Worst topic in the forum atm.

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe View Post
    Worst topic in the forum atm.
    yeah, i think i second this.
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    secretly feels rather under appreciated
    One of my sisters, who I'm pretty sure is ISFj, has said this describes her. But she's not marrying a bad boy - ha, just the opposite! And the other ones I know are very supportive spouses, but they're certainly not being taken advantage of...

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe View Post
    Worst topic in the forum atm.
    the responses don't reflect that
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    yeah, i think i second this.
    then stay out of it
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    One of my sisters, who I'm pretty sure is ISFj, has said this describes her. But she's not marrying a bad boy - ha, just the opposite! And the other ones I know are very supportive spouses, but they're certainly not being taken advantage of...
    yeah, this is more the idea i get. i don't see why ISFj = pushover. or why an ISFj would want to marry a bad guy. i would think the opposite.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    then stay out of it
    um, no.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    One of my sisters, who I'm pretty sure is ISFj, has said this describes her. But she's not marrying a bad boy - ha, just the opposite! And the other ones I know are very supportive spouses, but they're certainly not being taken advantage of...
    I don't have in mind being taken advantage off. I mean being treated roughly, hard, mean,

    They invest a lot on their spouses and expect a lot from them. They also pick spouses that have a good social standing. But not really nice boys. They often go for powerful and respected/feared guys. If they think you are a wimp, you are out.

    ENTjs also like it rough. But they want to be the boss.

    also, the iSFJ will notice your needs and go out of their to fulfill them. the opposite with ENTjs, they do not notice your needs and see no reason to fulifill them. they will hawever do almost anything to fulfil their own needs, so you can hook them up that way.
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    um, no.
    don't spam
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    don't spam
    don't breathe.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    don't breathe.
    umumumumum gasp mumumumuummumum
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    don't breathe.
    if you don't like the topic then don't read it
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    THAT'S MORE THE esfj STYLE I THINK. ISFJs SEEM TO 'LIKE IT ROUGH' I WOULD SAY.
    And what exactly is this conclusion based on? Because the ISFjs I know are quite the opposite.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    if you don't like the topic then don't read it
    Nah, I'd rather read it and complain.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    And what exactly is this conclusion based on? Because the ISFjs I know are quite the opposite.
    Observation mainly. Today basically and over the years.

    whats' your experience?
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    Observation mainly. Today basically and over the years.

    whats' your experience?
    Hmm, probably "quite the opposite".

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    Yeah, the ESI's I've known are the opposite of what dioklecian's describing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Yeah, the ESI's I've known are the opposite of what dioklecian's describing.
    i agree.
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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe View Post
    Hmm, probably "quite the opposite".
    you sleep with one, what do you think?
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    why was dio unbanned?
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    why was dio unbanned?

    I was never baned you miserable dirtbag
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    oh yeah

    you are on ignore
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    I was never baned you miserable dirtbag
    oh. why not?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    I don't have in mind being taken advantage off. I mean being treated roughly, hard, mean,

    They invest a lot on their spouses and expect a lot from them. They also pick spouses that have a good social standing. But not really nice boys. They often go for powerful and respected/feared guys. If they think you are a wimp, you are out.

    ENTjs also like it rough. But they want to be the boss.

    also, the iSFJ will notice your needs and go out of their to fulfill them. the opposite with ENTjs, they do not notice your needs and see no reason to fulifill them. they will hawever do almost anything to fulfil their own needs, so you can hook them up that way.
    That's a good example of someone approaching socionics without ever really bothering to understand socionics in its own terms.

    I think that that view of ENTjs and ISFjs only makes any -- sense if based on some Keirsey and MBTI description of ENTJ and ISFJ.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    ISFjs like bad boys. This is true.

    The question is: why?
    What bullshit. They're aggressors. LIEs like bad girls.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian View Post
    you sleep with one, what do you think?
    Oh no he di'un't!

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    So are male ISFjs supposed to like bad girls then? That definitely does not apply to me. I don't enjoy someone ordering me around; infact, it is major turn off.

    I don't understand where you are drawing your conclusion from Dio.
    “No psychologist should pretend to understand what he does not understand... Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand nothing.” -Anton Chekhov

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    What bullshit. They're aggressors. LIEs like bad girls.
    Well I hope you're joking too. Anyway, I agree completely with ifmd

    You will find ISFjs to be somewhat aggressive when they dislike a person's behavior and they do not have an attachment-relationship with the person. You will not find them to be aggressive in their close interpersonal relations for a very obvious reason: you do not have a relationship if you quarrel, bitch and pester all the time - the opposite.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ifmd95 View Post
    While most of this thread was nonsense from the recesses of Dio's head, I do think - after reading the relevant publications in the Articles section - that the balance of power in romantic relationships is more balanced in Gamma. (in comparison to Beta - where "Victim/Agressor" seems described as manifesting more stereotypically.)

    And anecdotally, I would say ISFj's seem to expect someone sturdier than a Beta NF is described typically. Which interestingly enough is consistent with what I've noted earlier about Si POLR being less inert in "Jack London" than in "Hamlet".

    That's not to say I think ISFj's like "bad boys" but perhaps "they don't like wimps" has some truth. And although it's possible I'm confusing some INFj's for ISFj's - I wouldn't describe ISFj's as "bad girls". Anecdotally and in description, I think you'll find that character of person better fitting Beta ST. (although there could be some overlap in the sensing subtypes.)

    Interestingly enough this would also be consistent with FDG's observations that ISFj's aren't quite as confrontational as other users describe.
    You have the mental capacity of a 5 year old.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Well I hope you're joking too. Anyway, I agree completely with ifmd

    You will find ISFjs to be somewhat aggressive when they dislike a person's behavior and they do not have an attachment-relationship with the person. You will not find them to be aggressive in their close interpersonal relations for a very obvious reason: you do not have a relationship if you quarrel, bitch and pester all the time - the opposite.
    Depends on the ISFJ, many bitch in order to get their needs met. Have you ever tried to get something from an ENTJ? It's almost impossible.
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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