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Thread: Comparing INTp and ISFj in receiving advice

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    Default Comparing INTp and ISFj in receiving advice

    So, when I'm doing something in which "style" isn't a factor, and there are (what I perceive to be) a clear "right" and "wrong" way, I prefer someone to tell me, "you're not doing this correctly, this is the right way."

    My ESI gf prefers a more, um nuanced approach, "Hey, have you tried doing it this way?" or "Maybe you should try doing it another way, like this, for example."

    A specific example: we were playing Gran Turismo 4, a game which I really like, and my gf really hates, because she's no good at it. I was totally dominating the track, and she was getting frustrated, so I told her "you're not braking enough before you turn/downshift, brake sooner and you'll make the turn; also, you're not entering the turns from the far side, you need to in order to make the turn." She interpreted this as me being a condescending asshole, and an argument ensued, during which the above general preferences for receiving advice were elucidated.

    She interpreted my advice as basically saying, "you're stupid and don't know what you're doing." Conversely, if I receive advice in the style she prefers, I interpret it as saying "you're stupid and don't know what you're doing."

    What's going on here, from a functional perspective? Anyone have similar, or observed similar ways of taking advice?
    INTp, ILI Logical subtype

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    Assuming she's really ESI, I think it's related to and perhaps sensitivity to "negative ", but only because she already thinks she's no good at the game.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
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    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    gay sex
    Last edited by istpunk; 07-17-2008 at 07:14 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by istpunk View Post
    Okay, you're an INTP and she's an ISFJ. (Why must god damn intuitives create new acronyms SEI LIE IEEIEEIEEIRIEREERER , fucking assholes, FUCKING ASSHOLES) anyways.

    I've dated a couple ISFJs, they don't like video games. They don't like reading. They like watching tv, cleaning, traveling, seeing new places, and being supportive to their mate. I got no advice for you for dealing with ISFJs, I felt like ARGH! whenever they got into their moods. They need someone to dominate them and isn't afraid of their moodiness.
    Riiiiiiight. Who the fuck are you anyway?
    INTp, ILI Logical subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by istpunk View Post
    Okay, you're an INTP and she's an ISFJ. (Why must god damn intuitives create new acronyms SEI LIE IEEIEEIEEIRIEREERER , fucking assholes, FUCKING ASSHOLES) anyways.

    I've dated a couple ISFJs, they don't like video games. They don't like reading. They like watching tv, cleaning, traveling, seeing new places, and being supportive to their mate. I got no advice for you for dealing with ISFJs, I felt like ARGH! whenever they got into their moods. They need someone to dominate them and isn't afraid of their moodiness.
    Quote Originally Posted by drd252 View Post
    Riiiiiiight. Who the fuck are you anyway?
    lol

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    I would say it might have to do with because you are saying she is incompetant or ineffecient at the task (videogame). I wouldn't really like being told I am doing something all wrong. I would appreciate the have you tried it this way as well. If someone just tells me I am flat out doing it incorrectly it would be embarassing for me and make me feel incompetant.
    “No psychologist should pretend to understand what he does not understand... Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand nothing.” -Anton Chekhov

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