My INFj friend sometimes gets down about certian aspects of life. As a counter to this, i would reassure him that he is a great person with many admirable qualities etc, which he does. However the same old things just kept comming up and haunting him. My Fi had failed to help him.
So i thought to myself, what would his dual do?. I dropped off on the Fi and started to be honest and say that all i can offer is sympathy, and that wont help him. Sympathy only admits there is a problem but doesn't offer any solution to it. I started to say that he should not wallow, not to think so deeply. He should try to be active and not feed his thoughts. In doing this, i had to step away from my Fi inklings. In fact it seemed to be a very harsh way in dealing with someone. Did i have to be cruel to be kind? I still do soften the blows occasionally with Fi. Anyway after a few months it seems like an amazing thing is happening. Hes actually more relaxed and less contemplative.
So my Fi soothing was not the solution. Seems to be a case of "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime"