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Thread: Trying too much

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    Default Trying too much

    Some people try too much. To be friends, funny, "part of the group", cool, whatever.
    I was thinking it's not type related, but now I think it bothers me when it's related to weak Fi (behave in a way that is not acceptable for the relation said people have with me) or Fe (have emotional expressions that don't fit the contest or are off in some other way).
    So I'm thinking these people, whose quality is to bother me more than generally try too much, are ExTx trying to be Fe. Maybe ExTj. Thoughts?
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    I've seen this in three ExTj and one ISTps. They are obsessed with the Fe image. I know they shouldn't be, but they are. It seems unnatural when they do it. It usually bothers me when they expect me to react to a nonexistant expression. Or when they tell a joke and I'm trying not to roll my eyes...

    Fe dominants also sometimes try too much, but it's different. With them it usually works very well for a short time, but then people suddenly stop reacting (tired/bored) and then Fe dominants try again and it seems out of place.

    ESFps sometimes try too hard, but most of the time it's very natural and energetic. People respond to 80% of it and ignore the 20% of overdoing it. Not annoying kind of trying too much.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    ESFps sometimes try too hard, but most of the time it's very natural and energetic. People respond to 80% of it and ignore the 20% of overdoing it. Not annoying kind of trying too much.
    I actually know exactly what you mean. I remember an ESFp girl at work was like this a bit, she seemed a bit over the top sometimes but you still had to love it. Sometimes i can go over the top if i get really excited, its odd because i can feel people getting repelled by me. They cant handle that im really happy.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    There's this one guy who was very difficult to type but I ended up typing as ESTj. He sometimes commented things loudly to the professor in the middle of lecture and ended the sentence with a "joke". Then he chuckled a bit and seemed to expect the professor to laugh a little. And when the professor didn't, he actually made another "joke".

    I'd say - wrong place, wrong time, wrong crowd and no . But he kept trying. So that's what I'd call trying too hard. Can't see how it related to though. Maybe trying too hard is just one of -role symptoms?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    I'd say - wrong place, wrong time, wrong crowd and no . But he kept trying. So that's what I'd call trying too hard. Can't see how it related to though. Maybe trying too hard is just one of -role symptoms?
    Well strong might have allowed him to realize if the professor liked him enough to be comfortable with his joke. Maybe.

    I agree on the way of trying too hard... I think I do that sometimes, but it bothers me less than the Fe way (c:
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    Hey, is it even possible for Fe dominants to "try too hard" to create Fe atmosphere? Because obviously ISTps would think it's always a bad thing to create the Fe atmosphere, but you always think it's cute and lovely, don't you? DON'T YOU?!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    Hey, is it even possible for Fe dominants to "try too hard" to create Fe atmosphere? Because obviously ISTps would think it's always a bad thing to create the Fe atmosphere, but you always think it's cute and lovely, don't you? DON'T YOU?!!!!
    Lol I think you answered your first question pretty well :-P

    Kidding, yeah I think it's possible, but if it's good Fe I don't usually mind.
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    Any type that overdoes their role function comes out as "trying too much" i'd say. Perhaps hidden agenda too.

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    I notice we have talked about different functions in the "trying too hard" context, but only extroverted functions. Can people try too hard with introverted fiundtions?
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    I notice we have talked about different functions in the "trying too hard" context, but only extroverted functions. Can people try too hard with introverted fiundtions?
    I'm not sure but why not? For example I would think it is easy to try too hard with Si. Being obsessed with aesthetics for example or healthiness or something. Without still really being aesthetic or healthy. I think in the "overactive hidden agenda" thread there was examples of all introverted hidden agendas and how they manifest. Oh, and isn't it already a part of forum lore than INFps can try too hard to be Ti. I can't think of many examples of introverted role functions. Perhaps e.g. ISFj trying too hard to be logical, objective and consistent and being pushy and edgy about it. But still being inconsistent and subjective in the end.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit View Post
    Some people try too much. To be friends, funny, "part of the group", cool, whatever.
    I was thinking it's not type related, but now I think it bothers me when it's related to weak Fi (behave in a way that is not acceptable for the relation said people have with me) or Fe (have emotional expressions that don't fit the contest or are off in some other way).
    So I'm thinking these people, whose quality is to bother me more than generally try too much, are ExTx trying to be Fe. Maybe ExTj. Thoughts?
    Yes. I've seen it in ENTjs quite a bit.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Do some people try too little?

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit View Post
    Some people try too much. To be friends, funny, "part of the group", cool, whatever.
    I was thinking it's not type related, but now I think it bothers me when it's related to weak Fi (behave in a way that is not acceptable for the relation said people have with me) or Fe (have emotional expressions that don't fit the contest or are off in some other way).
    So I'm thinking these people, whose quality is to bother me more than generally try too much, are ExTx trying to be Fe. Maybe ExTj. Thoughts?
    I do it automatically; I despise it. I mirror; try to show interest. It's so much more comfortable not laughing or smiling when you don't find something funny and actually processing what someone says instead of smiling and nodding while your mind is off somewhere else i.e. behaving much like an ILI does.

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    Quote Originally Posted by glamourama View Post
    do any ExTjs have anything to say about this?
    It does lead to embarrassing moments with embarrassing level of regularity. Especially when I try to crack a joke; and I still haven't learned to keep my mouth shut
    XXXx <-- almost a beer

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    Beta Fe girls to the rescue!!! (c:
    LSI

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit View Post
    Beta Fe girls to the rescue!!! (c:
    HERE I AM!!!!



    Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit
    Some people try too much. To be friends, funny, "part of the group", cool, whatever.
    It seems that although it's possible to "try too hard" with every function, PotatoSpirit is clearly describing "trying too hard" to show .
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
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    lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Do some people try too little?
    IxTx

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    IxTx
    in the same social "trying too hard" sense? It makes sense for IxTps to try too little of .

    But anyway: I have a question... Back to the part - behaving in a way that is not acceptable for that specific relationship. What are the types that try too much and cross the lines with ? The reason I'm asking is because I have a theory that PotatoSpirit has Fe and Fi a bit mixed up. types probably don't have rules about what is acceptable behavior in relationship. "Rules of proper behavior" is very and .
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    in the same social "trying too hard" sense? It makes sense for IxTps to try too little of .
    Yeah, that's what I meant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by emeye View Post
    It does lead to embarrassing moments with embarrassing level of regularity. Especially when I try to crack a joke; and I still haven't learned to keep my mouth shut
    It happens to me too, but I am not thinking of "trying to make a joke" when I do. I mostly make a joke that only later realize being rather lame, without the purpose of "being part of the group". Obviously this does not really avoid the embarassment, lol.

    I think TJ's are those that tend to try too hard anyway.
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    Kristiina's Avatar
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    this thread stated to intrigue me so I'm gonna continue it for a little while more.

    Okay now there's been talk that people can try too hard with every function. And each personality type tries too hard with some function. PotatoSpirit's first post was about trying too hard with and he suspected ExTj's (maybe also ExTx) does it a lot. So in this example Potatospirit was annoyed when he saw his dual-seeking function as someone else's role function. It just didn't look like the real thing.

    Is this a general thing? Do people get really annoyed when they see their dual-seeking function in someone else's role position?
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina View Post
    Is this a general thing? Do people get really annoyed when they see their dual-seeking function in someone else's role position?
    How do you feel about ISFj and INFj Ti? Have you ever paid any special attention to it? Perhaps introverted functions are not as immediately annoying as extroverted though so this would bother introverted types more than extroverted.

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