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Thread: VERY offensive description of LSI/ISTj

  1. #1
    machintruc's Avatar
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    Default VERY offensive description of LSI/ISTj

    WARNING: If you don't want to be offended, STOP READING NOW.

    This thread is a joke. It may even look bad for those who don't like this style of humour. You'll either like or hate this joke. I'm open to critiques though.





    ---

    LSI's are totally stupid. They are narrow-minded computers. Do you know what's between computers and human beings ? LSI's.

    LSI's are a whole bunch of retarded bureaucrats. They live on forms. Not on the real world. They live on Normsland. Not on the real world. They live on laws. Not on the real world. But why don't they live on the real world ? Because LSI's are perfectionists, and it's always easier to seek perfection in laws and norms than in the Real World.

    LSI's are excessively rigid. They have . Why do they have to bother others with their ? I don't know, just forget it.

    LSI's usually have high physical skills (unlike most LII's). They have . But the counterpart of this (being ), is that on the best case, they are narrow-minded insensitive retards (E1 variant), and on the worst case, they are moody boorish retards (E8 variant).

    Look what we have... two very different kinds of LSI's. LSI's aren't all the same. They aren't manufactured in mass production. But they still look like cousins. They're all narrow-minded.

    How does an LSI work exactly ? They have CPU's instead of their brains, they work with algorithms. Here are the source code with the two main variants of LSI.

    E1 (0?0) variant :

    :HOME
    DO
    sleep
    UNTIL time$="6:00"
    GOTO WORK

    :WORK
    DO
    the same boring things
    IF RND()>.97 THEN CALL ABSOLUTE(Get_Angry)
    IF RND()>.994 THEN CALL ABSOLUTE(Correct(Someone))
    UNTIL time$="21:00"
    GOTO HOME


    E8 (-?+) variant :

    :HOME
    CALL ABSOLUTE(Beat(Spouse))
    DO
    sleep
    UNTIL time$="6:00"
    GOTO WORK

    :WORK
    DO
    the same boring things
    IF RND()>.97 THEN CALL ABSOLUTE(Get_Angry)
    IF RND()>.994 THEN CALL ABSOLUTE(Intimidate(Someone))
    UNTIL time$="21:00"
    GOTO BAR

    :BAR
    FOR i=1 to 10
    CALL ABSOLUTE(Drink(Whisky, Beer or whatever))
    NEXT
    CALL ABSOLUTE(Fight(Clients))
    GOTO HOME

    You see the difference...

    But whatever. Both are retarded. I hate both, but the E1 variant the least, because they're not hostile. They're just narrow-minded.

    Some of you will ask me "but how come you missed the E3 variant !??". The answer is simple : i'm not interested in the E3 variant because they're just a whole bunch of retarded liars. They are the shame of .

    What's the worst thing with LSI's ? They like EIE's. Having EIE's as their dual is something very offensive. How can LSI's be so sensitive to EIE's ? Machines don't have feelings. Human beings do. EIE's are human beings. LSI's are machines.

    As EIE's are full of enthusiasm, zeal, generosity and initiative, LSI's are greedy and passive. LSI's don't know what the words "love", "share", and "feeling" mean. LSI's are selfish and egocentric. They are cold and distant, more than all other types except ILI's.

    LSI's are also very territorial and possessive : if you want to make an LSI angry, touch his possessions. LSI's may be collectors. They enjoy collecting nerdy things such as video games, pipes, stamps, 60's posters or whatever. Because LSI's are total nerds. They don't even pay attention at what they posess, but at what they don't (negativist ). There's always something to collect.

    LSI's are sex addicts. Not because of the sensations engendered by physical interactions, but as a mean to control their EIE beloved (if however they're able to love). They are obsessed with power. Sex is a form of power to them. When they have sex, they control their partner.

    Why are LSI's so obsessed with power ? I don't know. They like to lead, but their leading skills are really poor. Think of Stalin. He was the worst leader ever. And Fidel Castro ? Saddam Hussein ?

    LSI's can't have a life of peace and happiness, because they are obsessed with themselves. Their speech is mostly composed of boring first-person-based statements. LSI's are boring. Only EIE's can hear them. EIE's are never bored. They're interested by everything. LSI's are interested with nothing but themselves. They're also very poor listeners.

    I'd prefer to drown in diluted sulphuric acid (to die more slowly) rather than socialising with an LSI. I hate LSI's.

    One word to describe LSI's : narrow-minded.

  2. #2
    jessica129's Avatar
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    I am LSI.

  3. #3
    machintruc's Avatar
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    This is not my best offensive description. There's not so much you can say on LSI's, as compared to EIE's and SEE's or even ILI's.

  4. #4
    force my hand's Avatar
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    No offense dude, but...

  5. #5
    Pearl80's Avatar
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    "PRAISE CHRIST"...what a joke. From one fellow Christian to another - get real!
    Last edited by Pearl80; 02-11-2008 at 09:05 PM.

  6. #6
    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    what does CALL ABSOLUTE mean?


    I assume it's some kind of subfunction. But Absolute? I thought that was a vodka.

  7. #7
    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    what does CALL ABSOLUTE mean?


    I assume it's some kind of subfunction. But Absolute? I thought that was a vodka.
    http://www.codepedia.com/1/QbasicFAQ_CallAbs

    It makes the code look more nerdy.

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    Pearl80's Avatar
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    bleh ` children...playing with matches.

  9. #9
    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    http://www.codepedia.com/1/QbasicFAQ_CallAbs

    It makes the code look more nerdy.
    Well, I don't like your coding style. No indentation. Trying to embed machine code, from variables which aren't even defined. And you're calling the get random number function more than once - rather than just storing it. YOU HAVE TO GET ANGRY, THEN INTIMIDATE. What's the point of intimidating if you're not angry.

    machintruc. You have a long way to go.

  10. #10
    sigma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    One word to describe LSI's : narrow-minded.
    this is silly.

    My best girl friend is a LSI and she's anything but narrow-minded. I like to compare her to Jonathan Livingstone. She's open and ready to learn from everyone.

    Your description is perceived by my moral analysis system as... in bad taste.

    As a contrast, Herzi's description of me "sitting on a couch, slitting my wrists" was funny
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

  11. #11
    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sigma View Post
    My best girl friend is a LSI and she's anything but narrow-minded. I like to compare her to Jonathan Livingstone. She's open and ready to learn from everyone.
    At some stage of cognitive development, LSI's become less narrow-minded.

    But most LSI dudes/girls I've known were narrow-minded. It's like they live on paper.

  12. #12
    Currently God Brilliand's Avatar
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    I really wish you wouldn't have included that source code... now it looks like a big lie instead of a big insult. Stick to saying things that could be interpreted as true.

    So, now we have Fi ant Ti complaints... I think that covers everything.



    LII-Ne

    "Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!"
    - Blair Houghton

    Johari

  13. #13
    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    I really wish you wouldn't have included that source code...
    I included that source code because LSI's are nerds.

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    I like nerds.
    Beta extrovert from NF club.

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    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lastdance View Post
    I like nerds.
    That's cool. I hate nerds.

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    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    That's cool. I hate nerds.
    I don't know, Machintruc, your posts are pretty nerdy.

    ...

    Sigma's avatar is making faces at me.
    Last edited by inumbra; 02-20-2008 at 05:45 PM.

  17. #17
    lastdance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    That's cool. I hate nerds.
    why ?
    Beta extrovert from NF club.

  18. #18
    PotatoSpirit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lastdance View Post
    why ?
    Ah someone save the last dance, first posts and has to deal with _him_ :-P
    LSI

  19. #19
    lastdance's Avatar
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    oh, I see machintruc must be some kind of a badass
    dont worry, I've got used to such people on other forums and I dont think this one is worse than others ;p
    Beta extrovert from NF club.

  20. #20
    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lastdance View Post
    oh, I see machintruc must be some kind of a badass
    dont worry, I've got used to such people on other forums and I dont think this one is worse than others ;p
    I'm not a badass, dude

    You see, such offensive descriptions are like poetry

  21. #21
    UDP's Avatar
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    LSI's get hot EIEs though, it's not all bad.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  22. #22
    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    LSI's get hot EIEs though, it's not all bad.
    EIE's ? They're naïve and weak-minded. ESE's are better. Have you seen my EIE offensive description ?

    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=15549

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