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Thread: Help me out here, please

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    Default Help me out here, please

    I met a very attractive sales person in a car shop yesterday. She was very helpful and communicative and insisted to explain everything about the cars, even things I didn't ask about. She gave me some brochures and pricelists, explained paying options and what not and we even had a small off-topic chitchat. At the end I just thanked her very politely and exited the shop after saying goodbye (twice, lol). She didn't give me a personal business card or anything like that (probably forgot ) but she did seem to show some off-business interest and considering the fact that she was very pretty and good looking, I certainly wouldn't mind getting to know her better.

    Now what I need from you is IDEAS! Ideas on how to approach and try to get in touch. Relationships are really not my strong side and I really need some assistance here. HELP?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    I have to be cynical and suggest that she may well have just been acting as a saleswoman who knows she's pretty.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    To be honest with you dude, she's probably just being a good salesperson.

    In saying that tho, you could always ask her out, but I think your chances might be better before you buy the car

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    Subtley ask her if she has a boyfriend\girlfriend. If she says 'no', then say 'So how about it?' If she says 'yes', then beg her to see reason. I can't imagine anything going wrong with this strategy.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    We males are inclined to think that when a woman is nice to use, she probably also wants to make love. Like the others said, she probably used some Fe magic on you for sales purposes or was just being nice with no hidden agenda whatsoever.

    That being said, you can't know for sure, so I would just give her a call. Don't make to much fuss about it, be authentic and yourself (I know, easier said than done), say something to the effect you enjoyed talking to her and ask her if she's interested to have a drink with you. The worst thing that can happen, is that she says "no". It is not likely that she will do that in a harsh way. And if she does, just accept that and look at it as a new experience.

    You say that relationships are not your string side. Well, maybe you shouldn't worry too much about that and let her take care of that aspect. If what you say is true, don't be afraid to show that (but not talk about it too much though). Many women love guys who are not afraid to show their vulnerabilities!

    Remember the words of Dutch lingerie-designer Marlies Dekkers: Your creativity is in your vulnerability!

    Go for it, I say! Good luck!
    Last edited by consentingadult; 02-07-2008 at 06:03 PM.
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    P.S. I WOULDN'T ask her if she has a boyfriend: it's too obvious and the answer could be embarrassing to both of you. Just boldly ask her, this will leave her space to be creative herself and come up with an elegant 'no' in case she doesn't want to have a drink. However, in that case, also be prepared for the possibility that she will accept the invitation, even though she has a boy friend.
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat View Post
    I have to be cynical and suggest that she may well have just been acting as a saleswoman who knows she's pretty.
    I know. I am completely aware that this is possible and may well be all there is. But the possibility that there is a mutual (or even one-sided) attraction, unsettles me and makes me want to investigate the potential for a relationship.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    I'd say she was probably just doing her job, and seemingly doing it quite well. But, in the case that she would be interested in you, your best bet is to just call up there, ask for (insert chick's name here), and then tell her she was very helpful to you and that you'd like to buy her a cup of coffee or dinner to show your appreciation.
    While I'd normally say to go there yourself and ask her out in person, this can easily be a situation where she was just doing her job and you may not want to put either of you in the awkward situation that could come up if you went there instead of calling. At least on the phone she'll be able to just say no and that she is with someone or just not interested without worrying about hurting your feelings. It's a lot easier to say "not interested" when you don't have to look the person in the eye.

    Then again, think positively and maybe she'll say she'd really like that and give you her number. Which will leave you and her both all day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    In saying that tho, you could always ask her out, but I think your chances might be better before you buy the car
    The thing is, I don't have a particular interest in the cars being sold over there and I don't know how to enter the store again without the need to talk about the cars.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Oh, and with Valentines day coming up quickly your chances go up about 70% if she doesn't have a b/f that she'll say yes...lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    I'd say she was probably just doing her job, and seemingly doing it quite well. But, in the case that she would be interested in you, your best bet is to just call up there, ask for (insert chick's name here), and then tell her she was very helpful to you and that you'd like to buy her a cup of coffee or dinner to show your appreciation.
    While I'd normally say to go there yourself and ask her out in person, this can easily be a situation where she was just doing her job and you may not want to put either of you in the awkward situation that could come up if you went there instead of calling. At least on the phone she'll be able to just say no and that she is with someone or just not interested without worrying about hurting your feelings. It's a lot easier to say "not interested" when you don't have to look the person in the eye.

    Then again, think positively and maybe she'll say she'd really like that and give you her number. Which will leave you and her both all day.
    This seems like a really good suggestion!
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    That being said, you can't know for sure, so I would just give her a call. Don't make to much fuss about it, be authentic and yourself (I know, easier said than done), say something to the effect you enjoyed talking to her and ask her if she's interested to have a drink with you. The worst thing that can happen, is that she says "no". It is not likely that she will do that in a harsh way. And if she does, just accept that and look at it as a new experience.
    Well, thank you. I think I should try something along those lines.

    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    P.S. I WOULDN'T ask her if she has a boyfriend: it's too obvious and the answer could be embarrassing to both of you.
    Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I couldn't, even if I wanted to anyway.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    Oh, and with Valentines day coming up quickly your chances go up about 70% if she doesn't have a b/f that she'll say yes...lol
    HAhaha...

    Anyways, I guess I should do some phone calls. But wait... I don't know her name. Damn!
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    HAhaha...

    Anyways, I guess I should do some phone calls. But wait... I don't know her name. Damn!
    hmm, did you buy anything from her yesterday, if so it may be on a reciept or something... if not... Doh! #1 rule in meeting new women... NEVER forget their name...lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    hmm, did you buy anything from her yesterday, if so it may be on a reciept or something... if not... Doh! #1 rule in meeting new women... NEVER forget their name...lol
    Stupid arse, forgot to ask her name! I can't believe this, lol. Nope I didn't buy anything.... Let me see...I am skimming through the papers she gave me... there's only the company phone number...
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    I guess I 'm left with having to go there, hah? In that case, how do I approach her? If a keep doing car-talk it would be unfair and pointless, wouldn't it? I could go ahead and ask her out or something, but I don't think I have the guts and I 'd feel to embarrassed.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Stupid arse, forgot to ask her name! I can't believe this, lol. Nope I didn't buy anything.... Let me see...I am skimming through the papers she gave me... there's only the company phone number...
    A car salesperson that didn't give her business card herself, just to make sure you get back to her in case you decide to come back and cash the sales bonus?? You know what this means??

    Or is my imagination running wild here??
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Winterpark, I thought you were a girl?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat View Post
    I have to be cynical and suggest that she may well have just been acting as a saleswoman who knows she's pretty.
    And don't you just hate that? Call her, but don't fall for pretty eyes again!

  20. #20
    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    And don't you just hate that? Call her, but don't fall for pretty eyes again!
    Us guys are so gullable..and we can't do anything about it!

    Do you think if I met a girl and I told her about how much I digged socionics, that it would be a good ice breaker?

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    A car salesperson that didn't give her business card herself, just to make sure you get back to her in case you decide to come back and cash the sales bonus?? You know what this means??

    Or is my imagination running wild here??
    First time I read your reply (incorrectly) I thought you were implying she was intentionally ignoring me, lol. But I see what you mean. (You can elaborate, though)
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Winterpark, I thought you were a girl?
    And why would you think that?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Us guys are so gullable..and we can't do anything about it!

    Do you think if I met a girl and I told her about how much I digged socionics, that it would be a good ice breaker?
    Haha!
    So true.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Us guys are so gullable..and we can't do anything about it!
    ugh, don't remind me

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    nice avatar, loki
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Thanks, it's only the greatest character alive. The thnikkaman. What other character's catchphrase is "Yeah...shut up kid!"

  27. #27
    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    Thanks, it's only the greatest character alive. The thnikkaman. What other character's catchphrase is "Yeah...shut up kid!"
    Ugh..It's been my old mans catchphrase for years. Your a lot more colourful tho. Makes me think about those multi layered fruit ice lollies. You could always ask if there's any hot chicks around who would like a suck..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    First time I read your reply (incorrectly) I thought you were implying she was intentionally ignoring me, lol. But I see what you mean. (You can elaborate, though)
    She was probably so impressed with you as well, that she completely forgot to remind you to ask for her at your next visit. I think you have provided ample evidence of that: she explained stuff about the car beyond what you've been asking, to satisfy you creative Te, I think. This suggest she probably is ENFp

    Now don't let this knowledge get to your head now!
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    And why would you think that?
    I thought I distinctly remembered expat refering to you as a 'she'. Strange. Oh well, sorry.

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    oh gawd these situtions have happened to all of us. Those sales people can be so damn charming and you just cant seperate them doing their job and liking you. Happens to me with See's. They get me every time.

    Anyway trust you're instincts and give it a go. The perfect advice has already been given i think.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    oh gawd these situtions have happened to all of us. Those sales people can be so damn charming and you just cant seperate them doing their job and liking you. Happens to me with See's. They get me every time.

    Anyway trust you're instincts and give it a go. The perfect advice has already been given i think.
    You just never know when and where you will find love.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    You just never know when and where you will find love.
    I agree. Thats an Ne way of looking at it. The possibilities are out there.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    I agree. Thats an Ne way of looking at it. The possibilities are out there.
    I like that fleetwood mac song Big Love. I've got the live acoustic version. I Sometimes feel that certain songs open up an Ne window for me.

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    There's always the option to go up there and tell her you're actually thinking about buying whatever it was that she was showing you before. Then remind her that she helped you out the other day (She'll should remember... but you're saying this to not come off as "too" into her already, in a sense, you want her to wonder if you like her a bit, not know for sure already) and you say you want to make sure she gets the commission if you decide to buy something... then ask for a business card. If by this time, you're feelin up to it... just ask her out. Of course, if she accepts... Then you two will be free to start making babies in no time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I thought I distinctly remembered expat refering to you as a 'she'. Strange. Oh well, sorry.
    No problemo. Youre not the first, lol. People have thought I am a girl, or a black guy... I don't care, i just find it funny sometimes cause I have no clue where it comes from.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    There's always the option to go up there and tell her you're actually thinking about buying whatever it was that she was showing you before.
    Yeah this would be the best way but would require confidence and skill. If i tried that my balls would suck up into myself. What would happen would be she would be busy and some dude would offer to help. If she did come i would proablly be all creepy like and odd.

    @winterpark - Perhaps Jess thought u were a girly because of your rose avatar? I never made that connection though i thought u were a guy. Every rose has its thorns
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    She explained stuff about the car beyond what you've been asking, to satisfy you creative Te, I think. This suggest she probably is ENFp
    The way she spoke was indeed satisfactory to my Te even though it was only learned stuff for the job. It makes me laugh when I think how she sat onto the driver's seat to demonstrate the various adjustments which can be applied to it. At one time she slipped it backwards unintentionally and only for a second there she was in a weird sexy position, lol...

    Anyhow, suggesting ENFp doesn't sound very serious at this moment. But perhaps it shouldn't. Oh well...
    Last edited by Park; 02-08-2008 at 02:53 AM.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    If by this time, you're feelin up to it... just ask her out.
    I feel very stupid to ask, but how do you ask someone out (properly)? I am usually very direct in communication but this is sensitive stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    Of course, if she accepts... Then you two will be free to start making babies in no time.
    Now let's not get too far, lol. Butt sex doesn't make babies anyways.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    If i tried that my balls would suck up into myself. What would happen would be she would be busy and some dude would offer to help. If she did come i would proablly be all creepy like and odd.
    That's pretty much how I imagine myself doing it. I 'll get all red and wet. I 'll be happy if my pants stay dry, lol.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    That's pretty much how I imagine myself doing it. I 'll get all red and wet. I 'll be happy if my pants stay dry, lol.
    Nah dont sweat it man. Perhaps she will be the one whos wet . ISTp's are actually a lot less emotional than i am so tend to do this better i think.

    Crackas the pro, ESFj's are good at this, but this is how i would ask someone out. No more and no less

    "Hey do you want to get a drink/beer/coffee/sometime?"
    "Hey do you want to go out sometime?"
    "Hey do you want to see a movie sometime?" - whatever

    The more casual it is the better. Girls are pros at the rest she will take it from there. Shes either gonna say yes i would like that, the you get her number, smile and leave or she will use one of her fallbacks like "im in a relationship, seeing someone, not ready to date at the moment".
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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