Telling IEIs/INFps what to do and Se

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

It's very easy to bully or tell an INFp what to do if you are purely direct. We crave so much, we tend to do it even when it might be against our own will. It's like- the will becomes our own. But you have to give a direct command. If you make it vague in anyway whatsoever, we will take your own doubts as our own. You have to believe in us in a very strong, pure way. But if your will is corrupted, then both of us can be hurt....unless the INFp is strong enough to learn the difference. It can be hard though- if you grew up around people that aren't in your quadra. =/

Well-intentioned can make us very happy and free like 'I'm so glad I listened to you omg I feel so much more free and alive!' But sometimes, I don't know- we end up just getting hurt and it can be hard to recover.

I guess my point is, just because is our dual-seeking function.... doesn't mean all Se is good for us which seems to be the misconception on these forums. I read a lot of posts here how INFps like to be abused and that is just plain fucking BS. Nobody likes to be abused. Sometimes if we're depressed, or just lonely- or if we live with people not in our quadra, we can pick up negative . If we don't know how to like.... reflect good feelings back. This makes us very easy targets to bully. We'll put ourselves in situations where people like abuse us, just to get that rush of and shock ourselves out of it. But it's ultimately destructive, not constructive.

I guess if you must, look at is as wanting somebody masculine and powerful, (more towards the power end though- as I love feminine ESTps very much and they're not fucking masculine just cause they're strong) but not an asshole. Isn't that what people who love the male gender want in life? That is the ultimate ideal people have in men.

[ScarlettLux]

Yeah it's fun to bully other INFps

[xyz]

Or to guile them into doing shit.

[Animal]

Apparently irrelevant? See below...

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Well I get that they're joking and just being silly but sometimes, I can tell when people really honestly do try to intimidate me. Not that it works, but I know the difference. Hell it probably worked when I was a little boy but can you blame me for that? lol

It's NOT FUN TO BULLY ANYONE. Grr! I was talking about honestly bullying. Not some porn star roleplay crap. But like, really trying to intimidate somebody by pulling a knife on them or asking them for their wallet. Not some punky spunky outgoing teacher trying to be politically incorrect to be cool.

Maybe it's because I grew up in an area with a high-ish crime rate you know, so you learn to be on your guard.

Of course, I would agree that is still just....in the bad way.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

If you disagree with me, I think you are essentially saying that only INFjs and INTjs can get intimidated by that kind of shit. That's nonsense.

Bullying/intimidation is effective for many people. You push the little girl off the bike, you get the bike. Teaching people how to cope with it is a very important life lesson.... and you can learn to laugh at it later.

[Animal]

Actually, nvm. I'm still confused, apparently. I mean, I agree with what you're saying here:

I guess my point is, just because is our dual-seeking function.... doesn't mean all Se is good for us which seems to be the misconception on these forums. I read a lot of posts here how INFps like to be abused and that is just plain fucking BS. Nobody likes to be abused.

... but I think that should be obvious. Unfortunately, I see these stereotypes being perpetuated a lot here, so I guess it isn't as obvious as it could be to some.

I think I have to remind myself to look for the word "point" in your posts to avoid getting hung up on the less important bits.

[zenbrat]

clearly defines it's wants/needs, which satisfies INFp's hidden agenda. Direct communication does not require me to exert in order 'to understand' what the other wants. I appreciate this very much.

I'm stubborn when people approach things indirectly. I may know exactly what you want, but if you cant ask for it, then you must not want it very badly. Why put myself out?

Plus, SLE and LSI tend to become warm and affirming when pleased. They dote on those who willingly satisfy their wants and needs. IEI loves to be doted on - to be "special" and "different" than all the rest. This is a positive loop.

The catch is... needs to know the limits. If the IEI allows themselves to be exploited, then respect is lost. SLE's and LSI's have no appreciation for doormats.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I think I have to remind myself to look for the word "point" in your posts to avoid getting hung up on the less important bits.

Yeah sorry. And I know I'm stating the obvious to other INFps, but - it was more of a learning experience for them not you. I guess.

Well said, zenbrat! That is very true.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I realize sometimes I over-use stereotypes to relate, but sometimes it can have the opposite effect.

So I'll try to work on being more refined in the future.

[zenbrat]

bulletsanddoves,

The victim label was introduced in the erotic attitudes and has since been thrown around for INFp in a very general way. Personally, I think starting a topic about INFp 'victim' behavior was a valid attempt to refine it through discussion.

No worries. You're not being too general. You provided a topic and sought input to fill in the body, i.e. 'flesh out' the concept. This is exactly how a discussion (should) work.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. Thanks for 'getting it.' =)

[Satan]

clearly defines it's wants/needs, which satisfies INFp's hidden agenda. Direct communication does not require me to exert in order 'to understand' what the other wants. I appreciate this very much.

I'm stubborn when people approach things indirectly. I may know exactly what you want, but if you cant ask for it, then you must not want it very badly. Why put myself out?

Plus, SLE and LSI tend to become warm and affirming when pleased. They dote on those who willingly satisfy their wants and needs. IEI loves to be doted on - to be "special" and "different" than all the rest. This is a positive loop.

The catch is... needs to know the limits. If the IEI allows themselves to be exploited, then respect is lost. SLE's and LSI's have no appreciation for doormats.

Only doormats respect other doormats They group together, liek sheep!