It's very easy to bully or tell an INFp what to do if you are purely direct. We crave so much, we tend to do it even when it might be against our own will. It's like- the will becomes our own. But you have to give a direct command. If you make it vague in anyway whatsoever, we will take your own doubts as our own. You have to believe in us in a very strong, pure way. But if your will is corrupted, then both of us can be hurt....unless the INFp is strong enough to learn the difference. It can be hard though- if you grew up around people that aren't in your quadra. =/
Well-intentioned can make us very happy and free like 'I'm so glad I listened to you omg I feel so much more free and alive!' But sometimes, I don't know- we end up just getting hurt and it can be hard to recover.
I guess my point is, just because is our dual-seeking function.... doesn't mean all Se is good for us which seems to be the misconception on these forums. I read a lot of posts here how INFps like to be abused and that is just plain fucking BS. Nobody likes to be abused. Sometimes if we're depressed, or just lonely- or if we live with people not in our quadra, we can pick up negative . If we don't know how to like.... reflect good feelings back. This makes us very easy targets to bully. We'll put ourselves in situations where people like abuse us, just to get that rush of and shock ourselves out of it. But it's ultimately destructive, not constructive.
I guess if you must, look at is as wanting somebody masculine and powerful, (more towards the power end though- as I love feminine ESTps very much and they're not fucking masculine just cause they're strong) but not an asshole. Isn't that what people who love the male gender want in life? That is the ultimate ideal people have in men.