Originally Posted by
reyn_til_runa
i think i get what you mean. i do know an ESFp girl very well, work together, and so forth.
i would say: we play to our theoretical strengths, without going overboard. there is a definite feeling of "temperance" if that makes sense. her Ni dual seeking is very obvious, and so we connect on that level. sometimes she talks about liking psychics and other paranormal stuff which makes me go "hm, im not sure about that stuff, tell me about it" instead of "blah blah blah scientific rigor blah blah blah scientific rigor..." which would probably slightly amuse her, but wouldn't encourage a real conversation. i mean, i am interested to know about her experiences, what she learns and so on, but haven't ever gone to a psychic and probably wouldn't. so i find myself naturally talking to her about her visits to the psychic, and in the meantime, i think her Ni dual seeking is satisfied. she keeps telling me to watch/listen to The Secret. she claims to have never really read a book, but says that she listened to the tape and it changed her life. this is fucking adorable.
she will occasionally call herself "stupid" because she doesnt read books. she sees that i read many books. i have never, and never would, play on this perceived weakness of hers. it wouldnt cross my mind to say something like "well maybe you should start reading" because i know it wont help her. what she needs to hear is "well you are street smart. you are emotionally intelligent. and you know a lot of things that you cant read in books. i respect that, etc....you teach me stuff." she seems to feel better. i have encouraged her to go back to school ONLY BECAUSE she has made it clear to me that she wants to. if certain other people i know were to call themselves stupid for not reading books, i would probably set a stack in front of them and say "start here." its just my way.
i am not at all apt to feeling so vulnerable in weaker functions. i find myself more lighthearted, less worried about stuff, less analytical, but "myself" nonetheless. i kind of seem like an older, milder, wiser, more effective version of me. (you know how people say that as you get old, you sometimes become more temperate). she actually can make me laugh and not be able to stop. she does funny voices when answering the phone, and as i would never in my life answer the phone that way, and because she never applies the wrong kind of pressure on me, i relax, even when confronted with some Fe, because i feel like somebody's naturally "got my back" and vice versa. i don't have to become defensive at her occasional theatrics because her particular Fe is funny and non threatening to me. shes not requiring a reaction.
oh yeah, she also has taken my garbage out without rubbing it in my face that its been sitting there for weeks. she makes little jokes about my need for Se, but not in a way that offends. actually, what would make me very uncomfortable, and what she does not do, is to say "aw, can i help you with the garbage? i would be happy to. its no problem at all. i can see you could use a hand..." <--- ugh. because its a question, and because the person acts like i am in need of help and comfort, of course i will say "no i dont need help" and become a little defensive about it.
actually now im not sure i answered the question.