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Thread: What I think of Enneagram types (offensive)

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    Talking What I think of Enneagram types (offensive)

    WARNING: These descriptions may be offensive to you. When I say "offensive", it means "OFFENSIVE" - pay attention for that.

    If you feel too sensitive, STOP READING NOW. Sorry if I can't add spoiler buttons. This whole thread is a joke, please don't take it too seriously.


    - - -


    Types are ordered by the one I like the most to the one I like the least. LOL

    It means : it's a white-ethics-like thing.

    Optimistic Types

    TWO: I really like you, because you are just so cool. You are very sociable, have very high interpersonal skills (especially intimate E2), you make everyone happy. You are able to control others agreeably, in a non-aggressive manner. You're a straight worker, you give the example to others. If I can change my type, I'd choose E2.

    SEVEN: You are quite cool, playful and funny. Therefore I like you, just like E2's, except that I find you immature and retarded. But when high-functioning (in Ichazo terms), E7's are really awesome.

    NINE: You are pretty cool, and people like to talk to you. Even if you are shy (some E9's are shy), you are pretty compliant and talkative when others call you. A thing I don't like in E9's is that they are passive and lazy. They are inclined to get rid of everything. Another thing I don't like is that E9's hate conflicts, whereas I like them. Conflicts are necessary to get stable and efficient living. But I still like you.


    Neutral Types

    FIVE: I can't really say much of you. You're a passive thinker, you're quite friendly, and like to discuss complex subjects and think of complex things. You also like constructive conflicts. When people need to know the truth about something, the best thing they can do is to ask an E5. You are so wise and awesome. If only you were less cold and distant, I'd like you. I like especially the intimate variant, which are individualistic impact-seekers.

    ONE: You are narrow-minded, rigid, like to make heavy and useless norms, and speak like a tape recoder, i.e. saying the same things all the time. You are a machine who works 8am to 8pm without getting tired or bored. You have an high willpower, you are obstinate and stick to things better than others. E1's are pretty attractive. If only you weren't so cold and distant, I'd like you. But you're not that bad...

    THREE: You constantly seek success (intimate variant), efficiency (social variant) or self-image (preservational variant). You appear friendly, and usually ARE friendly, like E2's, but the thing I don't like is that you're a liar. I hate liars. Whenever I learn someone lies/has lied to me, I get high blood pressure. Why do you need to lie ? I know why : to obtain what you're calling "success", to appear a "winner" to yourself. If you win, what'd happen ? You'll realise that losing your life in order to win it is totally retarded. Therefore, I hate you.


    Pessimistic Types - or the dark side of mankind

    EIGHT: You're a total redneck, and you like to intimidate others. Why do you need to ? What's your problem ? Your problem is that you're totally depressed, and that you think you're feeling better if you can control the world. Except that it doesn't work. The only thing you usually obtain is that everyone hates you. That makes you a total loser. You usually have an high IQ, high physical skills, but that's all. Besides, you are moody and unsociable. You say you are strong, but your only strength is to make others hate you, make yourself a totally stupid withdrawn loner. But at least a thing that I like in you is that you have sense of impact, that you're straightforward and that they lie very seldom. Therefore, I hate you, but not that much.

    SIX: You're so complicated, you have lots of immature fears and behaviours, and you're reckless and aggressive. You're an asocial nerd, and most people hate you. You like to intimidate others, and you're a liar. There's a simple equation : E8 + E3 = E6. You are misanthropic, you think people hate you, and therefore you hate them, and you hate yourself. You seek approval, therefore you do retarded projection. In communities, you think that non-adherents are stupid, just because they're non-adherents. You're a communist Nazi, and your idol is Hitler, an E6 like you. Therefore, I hate you.

    FOUR: I hate you. I hate you from the deepest of my heart. You're a total autistic retard, and everyone hates you. You cry all the time and play victim to get attention. You annoy people with your moods. You're usually very attractive and smart, especially preservational variant (the most attractive women are certainly E4). But you also like to reject others. That gives you the feeling you're an unaccessible aristocrat or such. You're a detached individualist, just like E5's. You're pretty straightforward and authentic, and have a very high IQ. But that's all. I'm complimenting you because I feel sorry for you. If one day I have a gun, nine dudes/girls - one of each type - and the option to kill one person legally, I'll kill the E4. I hate you soooooooooo deep in my heart. I'd prefer to drown myself in gasoline rather than socialising with an E4.



    This whole thread is a joke, DO NOT FORGET IT.

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    BLauritson's Avatar
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    I'm offended that I wasn't offended
    ILI (Indescribable Lovemaking Inc.)
    5w4 so/sx

    "IP temperament! Because today's concerns are tomorrow's indifferences!"

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    Aw. I love you too. I'm not autistic.
    Last edited by inumbra; 07-31-2008 at 05:49 PM.

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    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    Aw. I love you too. I'm not autistic.
    Well most E4's I know/have known seemed "autistic", especially preservational E4's, because E4 is the type which produces the least neurotransmitters (i.e. physiologically, an E4 extrotim would still be an introvert), whereas E7 produce the most.

    There's approximatively 90-95% of Introtims in the E4 population, and 90-95% Extrotims in the E7 population. E4 extrotims are more likely to be Intimate and auxiliary (possibility for LSE ?); whereas E7 introtims are more likely to be Preservational and auxiliary.

    I have found at least one case of these :

    4 ILI SEI
    7 SLE SEE IEE LIE ESE EIE ESI

    and think there may be a possibility for :

    4 IEI EIE LSE LIE
    7 ILE LSI


    A prototypical autist would be a Preservational Four ILI, whereas the prototypical "super-extrovert" (in the physiological sense, not the popular sense) would be an Intimate Seven SLE.

    BTW, such ILI's usually smell like absence or death. They don't seem "bold expressive artists" like SEI's. They are more like depressed Fives or passive Eights. They are very hostile. More concretely, it's almost impossible to date an ILI-4 girl, even for an expert flirt or a psychologist.

    Such ILI's can't really help it. They are moody because they have a serotoninergic imbalance. Serotonin is the hormone of mental retardation. That's why Fours have a very high IQ.

    Such ILI's may be cool people, like St. Ignatius of Loyola or Serge Gainsbourg.

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    machintruc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    ^Posh. Nonsense. Sheer silliness. Rot. Blather. Cheap wine. Withering petunas. Rubbish. Wadded up newspapers. Loud geese. Pencil shavings. Clutter. Three suns.
    Have you ever considered of being an E9 rather ?

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    ...been here longer than the fucking monarchy Ezra's Avatar
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    I don't find 8 offensive. I agree with it.
    Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    I don't find 8 offensive. I agree with it.
    Actually, I described Optimistic types as integrated, and other types as disintegrated. Like "279's are cool" and "468's are bad".

    Also, I took the least "lovable" subtypes for 468's : preservational Four, intimate Six and preservational Eight. Or more concretely : ILI-like Fours, LIE-like Sixes, and ESI-like Eights. That's right. Stereotypical Gammas. I hate Gammas.

    279's were more described respectively as : intimate 2 EIE's, intimate 7 SLE's, and social 9 IEI's - stereotypical Betas. I'm an Alpha, but I find Betas very cool too.

    This is oversimplification, but not totally irrelevant. Harmonic groups are related to the FFM Agreeableness and Neuroticism levels :

    279 High Agreeableness, either Low or High Neuroticism
    135 either Low or High Agreeableness, Low Neuroticism
    468 Low Agreeableness, High Neuroticism

    My parents are E2 (EIE) and E8 (ESI). I've always got along better with my E2 mother. Both have low-to-average levels of integration, but 279's are socially attractive, whereas 468's are socially repulsive.

    As an intimate E5, I'm not very sociable, but quite expressive. I have got along with 279's the best, and found 468's the most difficult to socialise with.

    468's give the image of rednecks - life is so hard : let's have courage and overcome it.
    135's give the image of workers - life is as good as bad : respond to situations, do the right thing.
    279's give the image of players - life is so beautiful : let's have fun and satisfaction !!!
    Last edited by machintruc; 01-13-2008 at 02:34 AM. Reason: slight add

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    Nope. I have put forth no serious consideration of any sort. I simply get 4w5 on every Enneagram test I take. The description usually fits the best out of them all as well. Does this mean this is what I am? Well, no. But I'll hold the self-opinion for now. Half of me is still making a mockery out of the enneagram, so it isn't yet time to actually consider it.
    Most enneagram specialists say that enneagram tests are unaccurate.

    More concretely : type yourself by introspection, you'll like that, not by retarded tests. n00bs do that. you don't.

    As an Intimate Five, I could be typed E6 or E7 or E9 as well, because intimate variant of E5 doesn't really fit the typical E5 description. Some n00bs may even type me as E8 because I'm quite expressive, rule-breaking, and irritable. or even E1 because I'm quite organised, realistic, and have slight courage and an high sense of truth and justice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    Also, I took the least "lovable" subtypes for 468's : preservational Four, intimate Six and preservational Eight. Or more concretely : ILI-like Fours, LIE-like Sixes, and ESI-like Eights. That's right. Stereotypical Gammas. I hate Gammas.
    lol I think I am an sp/so 4 . Hi.

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    The word "hate" appears 15 times in the first post of this thread.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    A retarded chauvinistic immature SEE-s7 dude with a LSE-i1 girl.

    "I'm the man, therefore I command"

    http://www.conf-intimes.1k.fr/voir_video.php?num=191

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    Hmm... I see obviously, a 4 female has at some point ground your pitiful little heart into a fine powder. And fwiw, I'm really a 4 sp/sx and not autistic in the least. Fours are actually known to be quite adept at picking up emotional and social cues, so NOT autistic. Fives seem much more socially crippled/blind and trapped in solipsism, whether self-perpetuated or innate.

    We Fours know you just hate us because we're beautiful. And just an aside, we actually *are* too good for you. You won't have to worry about socialising with us. Oh sorry, just joking. Hope you're not too sensitive about that...

    Rednecks. That's certainly a new one.
    socio: INFp - IEI
    ennea: 4w5 sp/sx

    **********

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Twain
    Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'.

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    I'm pretty retarded and immature, yep, but I like it this way.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by aka-kitsune View Post
    Hmm... I see obviously, a 4 female has at some point ground your pitiful little heart into a fine powder. And fwiw, I'm really a 4 sp/sx and not autistic in the least. Fours are actually known to be quite adept at picking up emotional and social cues, so NOT autistic. Fives seem much more socially crippled/blind and trapped in solipsism, whether self-perpetuated or innate.

    We Fours know you just hate us because we're beautiful. And just an aside, we actually *are* too good for you. You won't have to worry about socialising with us. Oh sorry, just joking. Hope you're not too sensitive about that...

    Rednecks. That's certainly a new one.
    Well, you're a total redneck.

    You know, I find 468's behaviours very funny. They're so pessimistic and immature and make me feel so sad that I wanna kill myself. They all seek useless conflicts and make people suffer just because they suffer themselves. I think most people in jail are 468's. They are the types which cause the most problems in society. They are just a whole bunch of dark-minded asocial depressed autistic sociopaths. They are likely to kill themselves with alcohol or such. 468's motto is "living next to the death".

    Let's do an analogy with Freud's psychic theory : basically, 279's are the Ego of the world, 135's are the Super-Ego of the world, and 468's are the Id of the world. Except that people don't reject you. You reject yourselves. lolol

    Either that or 468's are the pedestal, 279's the statue himself, and us 135's those who build (3), maintain (1), and supervise (5) the statue.

    BTW, most IEI's are Intimate Nines.

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    "Redneck" is a socio-economic and regional term, and it's impossible that everyone of any given type fits that socio-economic group and lives in that region. Machintruc is French so maybe he isn't aware of the history of the word.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck
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    Machintruc, you're right that optimistic triaders are the most awesome, but this doesn't mean other triaders can't be at least awesome, even if not as awesome as us.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Yes dude, pessimistic triaders are soooo cooooool and they're sweet as lambs.

    An example of bunch of moody Gammas :

    http://www.waste.org/front242/bandinfo/

    Respectively :

    SEE -0+
    ESI --+
    ILI -+-
    LIE -+0 (coincides with the integral type of the band)

    You see, all -** types. They all look so sad.



    On the left, the ESI, and on the right, the ILI. On the middle some retarded ESE girl.



    On this video Codenys looks more E4-like

    On the interview, we can hear that they always got along well each other. I don't really understand why. They're sad Gammas.

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    lol, funny thread

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    (auto-censored)
    Last edited by machintruc; 01-29-2008 at 09:25 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    whereas 468's seek conflicts to get attention because they're depressed. When you're depressed, you're likely to seek some relief numbly.
    I don't seek conflict to get attention because I'm depressed - does that make me not a 4?

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    Quote Originally Posted by hellothere View Post
    I don't seek conflict to get attention because I'm depressed - does that make me not a 4?
    Most Fours have attention-seeking behaviours. But that's not much the case of -0- type, but more of the --- and the -+- types.

    Are you really a moody (468) type ? Most n00bs may type +-- Nines as --- Fours.

    Fours and Nines are not the same.

    Fours are usually :
    - NOT adaptable
    - Quite assertive
    - Reckless and pushy
    - Outgoing
    - Hostile
    - Have high charisma, especially Preservational variant
    - Straightforward, saying everything they find true, even if it generates conflicts
    - Are like they cry, even when they are happy
    - More like a detached version of E8 - typical detached redneck
    - Conflicts are normal
    - Usually thrives on moods
    - Difficult to socialise with
    - Less lively, more autistic-looking than E9
    - Aggressive, but not really competing
    - Rejects others to look like unaccessible aristocrats
    - May believe they belong to an elite
    - Are exaggerately sensitive, especially women
    - High IQ
    - Narrow-minded

    Nines are usually :
    - Accomodating
    - Adaptable
    - Usually shy, except Intimate variant.
    - Friendly
    - Have low charisma, except SEE's which are pretty femme-fatale-like
    - Sincere, but not saying everything in order to avoid conflicts
    - More like a detached version of E7 - typical detached fun-seeker
    - Conflict is like failure
    - May have moods but don't thrive on that
    - Easy to socialise with
    - Say and think we should get rid of everything
    - More lively, less autistic-looking than E4
    - Pacific and non-competing
    - Are quite sensitive, but not that much
    - Average IQ
    - Open-minded

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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    Fours are usually :
    - NOT adaptable - at times
    - Quite assertive - with friends and family, yes, with acquaintances, no.
    - Reckless and pushy
    - Outgoing
    - Hostile
    - Have high charisma, especially Preservational variant - charisma?
    - Straightforward, saying everything they find true, even if it generates conflicts
    - Are like they cry, even when they are happy - sometimes
    - More like a detached version of E8 - typical detached redneck
    - Conflicts are normal
    - Usually thrives on moods
    - Difficult to socialise with
    - Less lively, more autistic-looking than E9 - among acquaintances
    - Aggressive, but not really competing
    - Rejects others to look like unaccessible aristocrats
    - May believe they belong to an elite
    - Are exaggerately sensitive, especially women
    - High IQ (possibly flattering myself)
    - Narrow-minded

    Nines are usually :
    - Accomodating
    - Adaptable - when I want to be
    - Usually shy, except Intimate variant.
    - Friendly
    - Have low charisma, except SEE's which are pretty femme-fatale-like
    - Sincere, but not saying everything in order to avoid conflicts
    - More like a detached version of E7 - typical detached fun-seeker
    - Conflict is like failure - no.
    - May have moods but don't thrive on that
    - Easy to socialise with - no.
    - Say and think we should get rid of everything
    - More lively, less autistic-looking than E4
    - Pacific and non-competing - generally, not around close friends though
    - Are quite sensitive, but not that much
    - Average IQ
    - Open-minded

    Okay so I put in red the ones that I am / some other comments - which do you think I am (sorry to divert from this thread)?

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    Quote Originally Posted by hellothere View Post
    Okay so I put in red the ones that I am / some other comments - which do you think I am (sorry to divert from this thread)?
    It's pretty much like you may be a moody-like E9. Preservational Nines (+--) may appear moody and Four-like, especially SEI's. it's pretty common mistyping.

    Or you may be a Social Four (-0-).

    The difference between -*- and +*- is that +*-'s are mostly in an "happy" state like +*0's and +*+'s, and that -*-'s are mostly in a "sad" state, like -*0's and -*+'s.

    Or that Fours are melancholic, whereas Nines are sanguine.

    Or that Fours are reactive, whereas Nines are proactive.

    Or that Fours are mostly in a low well-being state (i.e. depressed), whereas Nines are mostly in an high well-being state (i.e. happy)

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