ENTPs and feeling emotions

[Gilly]

Have any other ENTPs ever had the feeling that all they wanted was to experience real, intense emotions? Sometimes I think that I just don't have a sensing function at all and my functions are NeTiFeFi. I feel like I have a really intense need to be in situations that will make me feel strong emotions of any kind (love, fear, sadness...anything), simply for the sake of experiencing them, because when I do, well, it's probalby the most powerful thing I know of and it's even more personaly satisfying than when I do really "NT" things, like win a debate, prove someone wrong, qualify my own beliefs, etc. It just feels so much more "real" than I'm used to feeling.

Can anyone identify with me on this?

[discojoe]

I relate well to this. My emotions feel very intense when they actually do occur, but I rarely ever really "feel" anything. There are times when I feel like I should be sad, or happy, but the feeling is detached, and for some reason I yearn for it, because I don't feel alive without it. Even worse is that when I DO ever really feel something intensely, it disrupts my mental balance in a thousand different ways and causes me great stress. I think this is why I require pleasant, relaxing environments and people: it allows me to feel safe enough to at least express some of my inner feelings. I can definitely see how an ISFp would come in handy here.

On the other hand, I don't really need to feel things most of the time. For even though I sometimes feel too detached from reality, this isn't something I mind very much. Only occaisonally do I need some release; most of the time I am perfectly content with being what I am. Now that I think about it, I don't even really like emotional intensity at all. It seems like a forfeit of rationality, and people who have strong are annoying as fuck. Ugh.

I think the actual yearning for the feeling is a subconscious signal that something is wrong, and is not indicative of a need to experience strong emotions. I think the actual problem is that we feel an impending sense of failure or worthlessness do to us doing something wrong and immoral, and our brain begins attacking us in order to set things right. We begin to see everything wrong with us, and our first target is the easiest: our PoLR. Since we naturally do not wish to be defective or imperfect, we try to fix our "weakness," which is why, in my case, I'd want to be experiencing intense feelings, because my weak doesn't let me do it most of the time.

Yep, I figured it out.

[Joy]

I think for the most part my brain is compartmentalized. I feel things, and sometimes I feel things very intensely, but "I" am seperate from those feelings. "I" am just taking in everything around me and processing it objectively and then making decisions. What I feel is generally running a bit beneath the surface. The emotions are generally seperate from eachother, too, which is good because they usually don't correspond. I can decide what to feel to some extent, and even more so what not to feel. If I feel something that bothers me or does not make sense to me, I can often decide that I am not going to feel that way anymore.

Hmmmm I'm not done here, but I have to get back to work. I shall post more later.

[diamond]

I can have a lot of intense emotional energy but it's largely undifferentiated and if things are intense then I usually need a lot of time to process and separate issues and feelings. At times, it helps to write things down on a piece of paper.

I often can feel specific feelings if I'm watching a movie, what with the music and all the sensory input etc.

Other times feelings just initially feel like energy to me.

[Gilly]

Maybe it's not an ENTP thing then. What I'm talking about is a sort of yearning for emotional experience, almost like I'm missing someone I love, only it's a part of me that I feel is missing. I feel like I'm not experiencing everything that I could because I'm emotionally detached most of the time, and it almost makes me hate whatever it is in me that keeps me from feeling. Sometimes I listen to music that's sorta emotionally loaded (not like emo; the song that comes to mind is "She's Leaving Home" by the Beatles) that will make me feel something because I just want that feeling that comes when I sympathize with the people in the song (say, the mother in "She's Leaving Home") because it helps me live vicariously through the person in the song so that I can feel whatever it is they're feeling. For some reason it's easier for me to feel this way because it's "no strings attatched;" I want to feel the emotions, but I want to be seperate from whatever it is that would make me feel that way. Does that make any sense at all?

[Joy]

A good example about feeling emotions is how I handled it when my best friend from highschool died a year ago. It's an extreme example, yes, but I believe it shows how my mind generally works.

The whole thing was very surreal, as most of my emotions are. I felt like a spectator. I knew that on some level I was very sad, angry, etc, but I couldn't seem to grasp those feelings entirely. I sorta wanted to just be horribly upset for a while as a means to find closure, but instead I found myself reflecting on the concept of life. I asked myself a lot of questions about the meaning of existence and the nature of the universe. Time became a fascinating concept, and I ultimately decided that on a very real and important level, time is irrelevant. The concept of balance took on a new meaning for me (though I'm still working on implementing balance in my life ). I also devoted a great deal of my thought processes to observing and theorizing cause and effect relationships. Meanwhile I dropped to an unhealthy weight, slept very little, and became ill. I also became quasi-agoraphobic and partially as a result didn't work for 7 months and nearly lost my house.

Anyway... that's pretty much how I feel emotions. I am quite detached, a mere observer of myself and my life. Nothing hits me too hard, and the only thing that gets me feeling enthusiatic is an exciting new challenge. That's why I joke that things fall into two categories for an ENTp: interesting and not interesting.

When it comes to day to day emotions, I don't exactly feel angry/happy/sad/fearful/disappointed about things like I think most people do. Part of me does, but there are too many other things going on in my head for me to immerse myself in one emotion and truly experience it fully. Sometimes it's hard to tell which emotions are attached to which thought processes. Sounds overwhelming, but it's really just the opposite. I think at one point in time I was overwhelmed by all of the noise once in a while, but I've learned to handle it in stride.

I never try to suppress an emotion; I allow myself to experience it to the greatest degree that I can, and I just watch the whole thing knowing that this is one of many experiences and emotions to come. I guess I do not live in the moment?

The only thing that really frustrates me is my own stupid little mistakes, like being late for an important appointment or procrastingating too much on an important project or forgeting to send out a bill. (hmmm all time related issues...)

[Waddlesworth]

This is a tough subject for me because I am not sure exactly what people mean by the word "emotion"

Now if you mean emotion as a chemical feeling, then yeah, i get that occasionally, or alot if i am around activators. but I can't control myself. When I get emotions I am usually very extreme and say offensive or intrusive things in order to draw attention. I may make sharp potentially rude remarks or plays on words in order to to appear the "funny guy" or prove my confidence tomyself. Most people seem to like it, but there are always those which would rather not listen to it. I suppose it's sort of like DiscoJoe's recent behavior on the forum- its funny, but there must be a silent minority or half which doesn't feel like listening to it.

Now if you mean by emotion sentimentality, or an appreciation of others or the things about people, I can do this to choice people, but rarely anyone else. My Semi-Dual boss is the subject of much of my attention and warm words, but we all know how those relations go. its more of a superficial thing. I can be complimenting in short phrases such as "you're important to me, i really like being around you" but its usually a half truth devised in order to gain the desired response which will confirm these budding feelings. Sometimes I go for the "I have warm feelings for" phrase, which i intentionally exagerrate in order to let the person know that I like them but must see more on their part in order to make the feelings stronger.

When I cry its usually for myself and rarely for others.

I am living with an ISFp now and she charges me. The dual really does act like a medicine and the effects linger for some time. I find myself running up to Si and hugging it. Usually the victims of these acts will be the ISTp I work with or the ISFp. There is a definite change to a person when they are exposed to their dual. I suggest everyone find one.

[discojoe]

I wonder, do ENTps keep their feelings under wraps because initially they are very strong? I know that most of my efforts to respond to situations logically are meant to keep me from feeling emotional extremes.

[Waddlesworth]

I see what you mean. Sometimes it feels like I am trying to resort to a logical conclusion in order to mask my emotion. People say I overthink things that involve emotion and i have trouble understanding what they mean. I don't know how to switch the process off and feel secure. If i stop thinking, I'll feel exposed.

[discojoe]

@ Joy

I think you will find increased objectivity, and even further developed logical faculties will assist you in dealing with what for you are frequently confusing emotional situations. I know that instead of giving in, defiance and stubborness in the face of emotional chaos has helped me. Stick with it, and stay on the side of logic. People never get anywhere by playing into their weaknesses.

[Joy]

@ Joy

I think you will find increased objectivity, and even further developed logical faculties will assist you in dealing with what for you are frequently confusing emotional situations. I know that instead of giving in, defiance and stubborness in the face of emotional chaos has helped me. Stick with it, and stay on the side of logic. People never get anywhere by playing into their weaknesses.

That's the general idea, but there is a fine line... on one side of it is objectivity and logic, but once you cross the line, objectivity becomes detachment. I'd argue that at this point it may to hazardous to my psychological health to allow myself to become any further detached. I think what I need now is to re-center myself, examine at my priorities, and focus on taking care of my wellbeing.

[Creepy-ILENTp]

Hi I'm new here, I can relate to alot of what's been said in this thread so maybe I'll stick around... create an account... that can wait, or I'll tune out and go do something else and never get around to writing this post.

Emotions have powerful effects on our bodies and this is how we usually become aware of them. A thought causes a certain reaction from the body (release of dopamine, dilation of the pupils, sweating, heightened pulse etc), usally before we're even aware that the thought has this emotion attatched to it or that we're thinking the thought.

Being detatched from ones emotions seems to me to mean that this connection between body and mind is somehow severed or weakened. I can think very emotionally charged thoughts without feeling any physiological effects. I can be cognitively aware of someting I know is emotional dynamite without experiencing any emotion.

(I'll be back with more after I discuss this with my psych-teacher tomorrow)

[Joy]

Weak is related to weak ? Hmmmm

I do seem to have a lot of misplaced emotions. Like, I'll feel irritated or anxious or sad and not really know why. Those who know me really well and understand me would probably have a better idea than I do, but it doesn't really matter much anyways.

[diamond]

I don't usually express feelings directly, more indirectly through action or facital expression if the feeling is strong and I can't hold it back.

Logic slows feelings down and changes them I've found. I depend on this to stay on an even keel.

[ILENTp]

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[diamond]

It could be weak . I would think would help you differentiate feelings.