What I think of Enneagram types (offensive)
WARNING: These descriptions may be offensive to you. When I say "offensive", it means "OFFENSIVE" - pay attention for that.
If you feel too sensitive, STOP READING NOW. Sorry if I can't add spoiler buttons. This whole thread is a joke, please don't take it too seriously.
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Types are ordered by the one I like the most to the one I like the least. LOL
It means : it's a white-ethics-like thing.
Optimistic Types
TWO: I really like you, because you are just so cool. You are very sociable, have very high interpersonal skills (especially intimate E2), you make everyone happy. You are able to control others agreeably, in a non-aggressive manner. You're a straight worker, you give the example to others. If I can change my type, I'd choose E2.
SEVEN: You are quite cool, playful and funny. Therefore I like you, just like E2's, except that I find you immature and retarded. But when high-functioning (in Ichazo terms), E7's are really awesome.
NINE: You are pretty cool, and people like to talk to you. Even if you are shy (some E9's are shy), you are pretty compliant and talkative when others call you. A thing I don't like in E9's is that they are passive and lazy. They are inclined to get rid of everything. Another thing I don't like is that E9's hate conflicts, whereas I like them. Conflicts are necessary to get stable and efficient living. But I still like you.
Neutral Types
FIVE: I can't really say much of you. You're a passive thinker, you're quite friendly, and like to discuss complex subjects and think of complex things. You also like constructive conflicts. When people need to know the truth about something, the best thing they can do is to ask an E5. You are so wise and awesome. If only you were less cold and distant, I'd like you. I like especially the intimate variant, which are individualistic impact-seekers.
ONE: You are narrow-minded, rigid, like to make heavy and useless norms, and speak like a tape recoder, i.e. saying the same things all the time. You are a machine who works 8am to 8pm without getting tired or bored. You have an high willpower, you are obstinate and stick to things better than others. E1's are pretty attractive. If only you weren't so cold and distant, I'd like you. But you're not that bad...
THREE: You constantly seek success (intimate variant), efficiency (social variant) or self-image (preservational variant). You appear friendly, and usually ARE friendly, like E2's, but the thing I don't like is that you're a liar. I hate liars. Whenever I learn someone lies/has lied to me, I get high blood pressure. Why do you need to lie ? I know why : to obtain what you're calling "success", to appear a "winner" to yourself. If you win, what'd happen ? You'll realise that losing your life in order to win it is totally retarded. Therefore, I hate you.
Pessimistic Types - or the dark side of mankind
EIGHT: You're a total redneck, and you like to intimidate others. Why do you need to ? What's your problem ? Your problem is that you're totally depressed, and that you think you're feeling better if you can control the world. Except that it doesn't work. The only thing you usually obtain is that everyone hates you. That makes you a total loser. You usually have an high IQ, high physical skills, but that's all. Besides, you are moody and unsociable. You say you are strong, but your only strength is to make others hate you, make yourself a totally stupid withdrawn loner. But at least a thing that I like in you is that you have sense of impact, that you're straightforward and that they lie very seldom. Therefore, I hate you, but not that much.
SIX: You're so complicated, you have lots of immature fears and behaviours, and you're reckless and aggressive. You're an asocial nerd, and most people hate you. You like to intimidate others, and you're a liar. There's a simple equation : E8 + E3 = E6. You are misanthropic, you think people hate you, and therefore you hate them, and you hate yourself. You seek approval, therefore you do retarded projection. In communities, you think that non-adherents are stupid, just because they're non-adherents. You're a communist Nazi, and your idol is ******, an E6 like you. Therefore, I hate you.
FOUR: I hate you. I hate you from the deepest of my heart. You're a total autistic retard, and everyone hates you. You cry all the time and play victim to get attention. You annoy people with your moods. You're usually very attractive and smart, especially preservational variant (the most attractive women are certainly E4). But you also like to reject others. That gives you the feeling you're an unaccessible aristocrat or such. You're a detached individualist, just like E5's. You're pretty straightforward and authentic, and have a very high IQ. But that's all. I'm complimenting you because I feel sorry for you. If one day I have a gun, nine dudes/girls - one of each type - and the option to kill one person legally, I'll kill the E4. I hate you soooooooooo deep in my heart. I'd prefer to drown myself in gasoline rather than socialising with an E4.
This whole thread is a joke, DO NOT FORGET IT.
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Originally Posted by Loki
auxiliary (possibility for LSE ?); whereas E7 introtims are more likely to be Preservational and 
auxiliary.
. Hi.
