Some activities with your Identicals, Duals, etc

[Iconoclast IX]

Generally speaking what activities do you do with/what happens when you are around with...
1. Your Identical
2. Your Dual
3. Your Quasi-Identical
4. Your conflictor

As in, for each, what usually happens when you are with one for, say between an hour and three hours?

I guess I'll start:

1. With my Identical: I have two friends who are my identicals. Some things we end up doing: having long-winded philosophical discussions, complaining about how pathetic the world is, complaining about how pathetic humans are in general, insulting people, individually going off on long monologues about a science or philosophy-related topic, pretending to speak foreign languages, pretending to be tourists from a foreign country, talking to pigeons on the street, interviewing traffic cones, fooling around with Con Edison workers, creating extremely bizarre hypothetical inventions and scenarios, categorizing random people on the street into insulting categories, making odd noises in public, interchanging random factoids, observing "the pathetic morals" around us, making extremely disturbing and non-sequiter comments about these aforementioned pathetic mortals, sending disturbing and frightening "love-letters" to people we hate, playing chess, planning to conquer the world, wandering and pacing for no particular reason and in no particular direction.

2. With my Dual: (Insufficient data)

3. With my Quasi: starts of the same as with identical--philosophical/scientific discussion. Unlike with identicals, there ends up being absolutely no joy from it. There is a mutual tension. For whatever reason, we always end up disagreeing on some minute detail.

4. With my Conflictor: Begins with casual/boring/standard small talk. Usually erupts into a massive quarrel. My conflictor criticizes my supposedly "odd" behavior, and I form a rebuttal by pointing out how being normal is pathetic, and how the conflictor's argument is full of logical fallacies. In the end, it turns into an exchange of completely uncalled-for insults.

[redbaron]

Dual: I sit back and relax and listen with delight as they chatter on. And on. And on. And on. And ...

I believe it!

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[munenori2]

My conflictor is the only one I've had real contact with. Generally, it only works when I'm going along with whatever is the case (bowling, betting/watching sports while grilling out, etc) that there's any sort of interaction between us at all. Typically, these revolve around doing three basic things together: eating, drinking, or smoking fatties. Since I've given up the latter, I've noticed that we have next to no contact whatsoever. The relationship isn't bad in the sense that we argue or anything, but we've seemed to settle into a context where we only speak every few days (I know that sounds incredibly odd, but the distance between us seems both manageable and mutually agreed upon). The thing is, we just don't have much of anything to talk about. If we do, it's because I'm tacitly accepting whatever he likes (i.e. poker or sports). He has no interest in the things I do or occupy myself with. As sad as it sounds, my third roommate (for the life of me, I can't decide on his type, maybe ISTp) sort of forms the bridge between us as far as keeping up with what the other is doing. Basically, we can hang out together for a little while, but it seems like we only do when the three of us are getting effed up.

[Ms. Kensington]

i kind of relate to diana's post on some of them (btw your identical one sounds fun)

1. Identical: usually hate them, see their glaring Se polrs. But, there are some that I think are intriguing and cute. In real life. Online i think i feel extreme calm, or else excitement what i do with them: have discussions usually. not really friends with any.

2. Dual: sit back and listen to them talk, as carla said (also with ENFjs) but other times joke and feel pleased and slightly embarrased simultaneously that they laugh. might talk about how to do something domesticated. play with animals together.

3. Quasi: am fascinated by them. Feel self conscious and wary, afraid i might make some kind of blunder. Usually dont do much, just like observing them, let them initiate convo. I dont think i have any INTp friends.

4. Conflictor: usually get conflictor vibes right away, the superficial ones i just avoid them, the ones who are genuine and nice i engage in conversation with and try to give them information I think will interest them, will initiate convo more but will look to them for cues as to how long the convo should last/is required for politeness. This is pre-socionics informed btw. do cultural things like movies, concerts, parties or group events with them.. oh, and shop

[PotatoSpirit]

Identical: lots of stuff, usually some Se related activity (competitive games) or beta group things.

Dual: chat, laugh.

Quasi: productive or at least active stuff, but in silence.

Conflictor: chat.

[Expat]

Identical: talk about matters of common interest, usually "teaching each other" on the areas of expertise. After trust is established, discuss personal problems and experiences, offering mutual advice or just listening while the other drones on and on . Often complaining about how idiotic some people (or regulations, institutions, politics, etc) can be. Traveling, movies, etc. Also talking a lot about career, money decisions, relationships.

Dual: discussing topics of mutual interest, offering each other advice. I get into some Te digressions on matters I find interesting, the ESI seems to find it interesting to listen. ESI talks about things happening in their life, I comment on what I think about it. ESI talks about impressions of people we know. Traveling together, eating out, but above all talking a lot about whatever we are thinking about/concerned about. ESI gives me gentle nudges regarding my low Fe and Si in public, I reassure ESI when they seem worried about being late/unprepared about something; conversely, ESI gets me going if I seem to be over-complacent about the time. If walking in a city I happen to know better than ESI, I end up playing "tourist guide" and point out to ESI everything I find interesting and know about the place. I may feel overly embarrassed about a minor Fe-Si mishap such as spilling wine on the table in public, ESI gives me a gentle "don't be ridiculous, it's nothing". If we are in a group and I seem too silent, ESI knows how to get me into the conversation. The most common feature is simply, talking. The ESI seems to me immediately someone I can trust and rely on.

Quasi-identical: talking about a subject of common interest, but even in that subject there is often a disconnect. It was very clear with Igor Weisband.

Conflictor: it depends on the situation and the nature of the relationship, but either some kind of small talk which ends up being baffling to me, or discussing concrete events, like, what did we do, what are we doing now (regarding work, etc). Conversation ends up too disjointed for my taste, usually.

[UDP]

Identical: Mmm, we work so well together. I remember working at a forest preserve where we were taking down trees, moving timber, and stuff like that. We could have done it all day long - it really was great. We can totally get engulfed in our work - in the process. Other than that, not a whole lot I guess. Easy talking. Sometimes sports together, being outdoors together, eating together - lots of good quality time stuff together. And sometimes we do our own things, which is fine, too. Generally great people to hand around and do things with. Not someone I would want to be in a relationship with a whole lot - I'm too much of a sucker for my dual and her dual qualities. Good friends, neighbors, etc. Generally good people. Calm - no drama with them, which I like very much. I have never met one in terms of my field of study, but I imagine we would discuss things well. One ESTj (not sure) and I get along very well in one of our classes.

On Hall Council - the person with the most fire to do ANYTHING was ESTj. She and I got along great as far as working goes - it was so nice to have someone who gave a damn, put in lots of effort, and just kicked ass. Our mutual Ni polr needed planning work, but as far as getting stuff done, she was unparalleled.


Dual: Long before socionics, I had my best conversations with my dual. The one in particular I am thinking of has always been very supportive. She was always a great housewife too, and very good with her family (my aunt). I always enjoyed stopping by that home. It was the most peaceful place I had ever been in my whole life. I remember sitting out on their back deck one sunny afternoon - it was extremely welcoming (I believe they are a delta rational dual couple, the husband and wife). With the INFj (female), I always felt inclined to protect her and the house and do things for her when they needed to be done. Before socionics. I remember their house being overrun with insects or something one summer - and me saying how I don't mind at all to deal with them, or I would clean out the basement, etc (I have a thing about bugs invading my home.../the homes of others....). And she was like, "Well UDP, I wish we had more people like you around here". And then one day, there was this really weird, huge, terrifying looking bug on the side of the house. Being typical women, the two women (INFj + ESFj) were uneasy, and one of the little girls (ESE?) was terrified of it, and so was everyone else apparently, so I instantly went into assertion and defense mode, and dealt with the bug. It looked like it was about to lay eggs... it was huge. But the point is, doing things like that for the INFj has always been extremely rewarding, and they always seem to respond positively to it. So doing things for them, I don't know how to say it - that seems to be a big factor of my relationship with duals. Other examples of that would be whenever the family was doing stuff together, I would always be sort of the most mature person there, and look after things, which the INFj seemed to appreciate - with lots of kids running rampant here and there, and other adults doing things. To me, we were both people we could count on to not do anything stupid and keep things under control - just have things go smoothly and have a decent time.

As far as conversations go, oh yeah...... the best with INFjs. We get to talk about important things! Deep things. Finally, someone I can talk to about serious things with, or my serious projects with. And they get it right away without having to translate things. Common topics - spirituality, understandings, life. With some, we have a mutual interest in current events and world happenings - which is great. Concerns about the world, about what to do and where to go. We also talk about people we know, and what it will take for them to get better, lots of advice giving. I always end up giving some sort of advice to INFjs, I realize. It is unintentional. Like one time I got a phone call about someone going to college, and I don't have any authority on the matter or anything, but I ended up giving some advice anyways, which was odd, but it went over so well, and it seemed totally natural that I only realized it afterwards. But in general, just really good conversations. Like expat said about his dual, they are someone I trust easily, and this is very welcoming.


Quasi: Not a whole lot of experience here. Working together I guess. The one ESTp I have known for a long time is much more challenging and into personal jokes than I am - always teasing or joking whoever he is around. Seems like 7w8. Very physical. We don't really have much in common, besides sports. We tend to end up throwing footballs or frisbees, etc, at family gatherings. Not much otherwise.


Conflictor: The only time I interact with them is through school it seems. I cannot tell if one person is INFp or not, but she may be, and she seems totally put off by my kind of assertiveness or when I assign her duties or ask her to speak about things. IMO, when I giver her opportunities to say something or give input, she shies away from it. I don't think she likes me, and she, as someone else said, could very possibly be intimidated by me. The ESTj I mentioned above for Hall Council also did not get along with this person much. They were on the same subcommittee, and, the ESTj felt like she had to do everything, and the (INFp?) didn't respond well to it at all. The ESTj basically said the person was lazy, and I would generally agree. Finally about this person, she seemed very receptive to "other" people, besides me, in different parts of the organization - seemed like the Fe crowd. So, we just didn't seem to get along very well. We have common interests, but even at work - where I am usually on good terms with everyone - it just seems a very uneasy, unsmooth relation.

Another INFp I know: just very, very distant. Cared a lot about her kids, but quite removed about things. Very shy. Minimal interaction. (I've known her for years)

[Joy]

Not sure what to say about quasi and conflict, so I'm going to break the rules and just do my quadra instead.

Dual: Life happens. A lot of joking around, too. I tend to be good at drawing them out, they tend to be good at calming me down.

Identical: With the ones I've known irl, conversations mostly focus on business and investing. They tend to be really long, too. The one with less experience/knowledge in a particular area asks the other one what they would happen if *insert situation or idea here*, and we discuss it. As a result it tends to turn into something of a brain storming session at times. Each of us is free to come up with ideas that we may usually not think of or explore because we're able to edit and expand on each other's ideas. Staying in touch with each other can be tricky though because it's something neither of us is good at.

Activity: These are the only people I do typical "girl" things around. They draw me out, get me to socialize, do/talk makeup/hair/clothes/whatever, etc. We talk about their problems a lot, too, as after I've offered advice on anything they start asking for advice on pretty much everything (and these are the type of people who usually can't be told anything). They also use me as a resource for information. If there's something they want to know about, they ask me because they know that even if I don't know anything about it, I'll dig up a bunch of information, sort through it and find what's useful and most likely accurate, and then organize it for them in a manner which makes sense to them.

Mirror: A lot of talk about "strange" things, that is things which most people wouldn't think of discussing or unusual things that we have in common. We also tend to talk about relationships more than one would think we would, but I think this is primarily because we have similar problems in relationships. We tend to see the same things that most people wouldn't, but we tend to have different reactions to those things.

[Joy]

I guess I'll take a shot at conflictor and quasi:

Quasi: We both seem to understand things that a lot of people don't, and that's what we talk about. We also have similar problems (even if what we need to solve those problems is different), so sometimes we joke about that. Nothing too deep, even if the topic of conversation is personal.

Conflictor: I have pretty limited experience here. I seem to end up talking to a conflictor when I need information about something that they should know a lot about because of their profession and someone points me in their direction. I find though that I don't agree with them more often than not. A lot of times it actually seems they haven't helped at all... whatever I've already learned from other sources discredits what they're saying, and if I decide to do some research on what they've said, I'm even more shocked at how incorrect both their information and their conclusions about that information were. (I was hesitant to post this because I don't want to make it sound like all SEI's are incompetent... I'm only speaking from personal experience, and like I said, there hasn't been that much.)

[liveandletlive]

Identical: A lot of inappropriate, politically incorrect joking around, laughing, doing crazy ridiculous things and making bad decisions. Telling funny, entertaining stories, speaking our minds.

Dual: Usually involves me trying to entertain them and lighten their mood. Going on little adventures. Deep coversations.

Quasi: Talking about feelings, drama, and people. Usually end up binge-eating.

Conflict: Try to engage and entertain them the way I charm most people, but they just end up either uninterested or finding flaws in my grammar or logic.

With all of these people we end up usually doing the same thing- ingesting lots of chemicals.