ENFps having short attention span

[timeofurlife42]

here's a newsflash to ya'll, we enfp's have no attention sp... damn thats a cool car
lol

the biggest complaint i hear about us is that we seem to not pay attention, or cancel plans, or w/e
the simple harsh truth as i see it is that we are naturally drawn to the most interesting thing in our particular environment, be that parties, movies, books, etc...
we are idea initiators who cant follow through without a huge amount of effort and concentration on our part
(heres the part where i kinda ramble so at the bottom of this post ive made a list of practical ways to guarantee an enfp will not cancel out on you)


what this basically boils down to is that if you want to spend time with your enfp friend/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend then you need to be interesting. for example, being enfp i try to cram as much into my schedule as i can. i work an average of 50 hours a week in four days, that means i have 3 days off. one of those days off is reserved for me to take care of my shopping, bills etc... that means that in 2 days i need to pack in all my socializing. naturally im going to pick the most interesting stuff to do. if people want to spend time with me they need to be willing to find something fun to do, if i say that i want to do something, realistically thats about all the effort im going to put into it. im lucky enough to have friends who are very good at the follow through part however, so i suggest something, they work it out, and it happens. anyhoo i follow this schedule for a couple weeks and all the sudden someone will show up and say, hey i havent heard anything from you for 6 months, where the F have u been???
at this point i feel terrible and will make lots of time for them

anyways the point is that if you are having problems connecting with an enfp and they sound anything like me, they will most likely be very touched if you call them up and tell them you want to do something. some suggestions that should keep them from canceling out on you:

1. make plans for the near future: the next weekend, tomorrow etc..
2. make sure it is understood that this time is reserved for you, plans have been made, they are important to you
3. once the time has been set, leave the actual plans open to change (for example, you planned to go to a movie, but this guy is having this really cool party over the same time, so go to the party)
3 1/2. if you planned something special and it would really hurt you to do something else, dont be afraid to say so
4. there are 2 circumstances that may come up that the enfp will cancel on you even with all this: a mandatory family get together, another pre-planned thing that the enfp forgot about when they made plans with you. in these cases try to be understanding and plan something else

as near as i can figure it, if you have the person typed correctly as enfp this should work to get them to spend time with you. it would work on me, so thats how im figuring it
responses if you have anything to say are welcomed

[xyz]

let em bitch. people who complain usually think themselves to sleep.

[Lobo]

lol, it's funny to think how the ENFP-ISTp duality plays out based on this, considering that a lot of the SLI's I know are so reserved (with exceptions)... I can relate to what you write actually, except for the follow through and having a crazy schedule. It tires me when I'm around people who are not interesting, who don't really go out of the box and try new things. I'm sure that it's less than the ENFp level though (being INFj). I don't know if you feel this way too, but I get really tired of doing the same thing even for a short time and routines have a way of putting me down. An example is that when I play a game or fun project, even if I am extremely close to finishing it, I'll stop playing it if it got boring and then restart it a long time later, only to repeat the cycle over again .

[xyz]

If something more interesting comes up, why the hell would you stick to the planned movie just cuz you guys planned it? Makes life interesting

[Lobo]

What do you mean? Though it is annoying when you plan something, anticipate it, and then at the last minute it gets changed. That's why I cringe a little thinking how an SLI might feel when someone does this, it must hit a little hard. I hate wasting time like that. And sometimes, it's good to stick to the plan, because then no one is sure of what's more interesting and end up doing nothing in the end.

[xyz]

Well the key is IF it's more interesting. More interesting than whatever we planned.

I just mean that it's good to take that risk sometimes.

[Lobo]

True, and it depends if the other people find it more interesting. Actually, the change of plans I don't like are when you don't know exactly who you are going to be hanging out with, not so much on activity. When I'm among people I've at least met sometime before I go comedian and hyper, but when I don't know someone I get more reserved until I see what that person is about...

[Jarno]

This will probably disputed heavely, but I've read that ENFP's have the highest percentage of ADHD sufferers. (=Attention disorder)

[xyz]

HA! I bet if true ENTP's come close. Wouldn't have it any other way.

[mikemex]

This will probably disputed heavely, but I've read that ENFP's have the highest percentage of ADHD sufferers. (=Attention disorder)

ADHD is mostly bullshit. It's well known that hyperactivity and other "disorders" were promoted by pharmaceuticals to increase the sales of their "medicines", like Ritalin.

I'll explain what ADHD truly means in my case:

* First, it's not a deficit of attention, but an excess of concentration in the inner thoughts. I experience internal thoughts so vividly that I sometimes lose all contact with the external world. To me, the externalities are a kind of distraction, so I tend to simply ignore them. But if I'm truly interested, I can be concentrated for large periods of time. So I'm a kind of introvert in a way. All N's seem to be.

* Second, hyperactivity is absurd even as a term, because I could label others as hypoactives. I think fast and simply act to the pace of my mind. And I can rest very well; don't need to do things all the time.

* Third, I see with my mind, not with my eyes. I'm always aware of what's behind a wall, even if I don't see it. Or the flux of blood inside a person, or that we're floating in a rock-boat in a sea of magma. When you're aware of so many things at once, it's difficult to limit yourself to only your immediate environment.

[xyz]

Yeah my brother was "diagnosed" with ADD. I just called it him being fucking bored to tears at school.

[Slacker]

I was diagnosed with something like that when I was a kid, but I don't think they called it "ADHD" back then. Ritalin was recommended, whatever they called it.

[xyz]

I think Ritalin is seriously fucking up our kids today.

[Slacker]

My parents didn't give it to me. I have a cousin who was given it and my parents thought she didn't really need it. That probably influenced them with me.

[xyz]

I wasn't implying YOU are fucked up

[Slacker]

I wasn't implying YOU are fucked up

LOL I know - just throwing that out there.

[tiny_dancer]

I think prescriptions of ritalin are also directly related to academic performance. I was just as ADD as my lil sis (entp), but I got decent grades and didn't talk too much, so they didn't try and drug me. Then my little sister got some stick-up-her-ass teacher who insisted that because she couldn't/didn't keep a day planner like her daughter (in 5th grade!) and was too daydreamy that somehow she must be defective. She just didn't have any discipline. The military is helping her with that right now

[Mea]

If something more interesting comes up, why the hell would you stick to the planned movie just cuz you guys planned it? Makes life interesting

You rock.

[jewels]

I agree w/ most of this, except the cancelling plans with people part (due to forgotton other plans). I make a point to not cancel on people unless I'm deathly ill, etc. I don't care if the activity changes as far as where we are going, but I've noticed some ENFPs and ENTPs also make "back-up" plans in case their other plans fall through. I think that's crappy. To keep some of your friends on the back burner. I used to get mad an an ENTP ex for doing that to his friends when he'd double-book (on purpose). I think cancelling on people makes you look flakey and pisses people off and your friends won't be there for you as much if you do that. But then again, I'm extremely late very often (even though I know that also pisses people off).

My point is, not all ENFPs are flaky. And other people shouldn't have to adapt and accept an ENFP being flaky, cancelling, etc. I think the cancelling and all that is less to do with type, and more to do with flakiness in general. And other types shouldn't have to adapt to ENFPs being flaky. If you say you'll do something, do it. It's that simple.

[munenori2]

My ENFp friend I would say absolutely has a short attention span, yet he still manages to be ridiculously awesome. In a way, it's almost his strength. Never a dull moment. Though, that may be why he never did do too well in school. However, when it comes to friends or people in general, he's incredibly patient.

I would agree that there is a current of over-medication flowing through society these days.

[Mea]

My ENFp friend I would say absolutely has a short attention span, yet he still manages to be ridiculously awesome. In a way, it's almost his strength. Never a dull moment. Though, that may be why he never did do too well in school. However, when it comes to friends or people in general, he's incredibly patient.

I would agree that there is a current of over-medication flowing through society these days.

I have to agree with the bolded part. I'm always seeing threads about this medication and that medication that the people are taking (mostly Americans, no offense), and I'm wondering if it's all that necessary. I don't take that much medication for a fever/cold, or many other illnesses that I consider minor (but not to some on the forum) etc, or sometimes not at all, yet I'm still living... Healthily.

[xyz]

Yeah, I think taking so many medications diminishes the body's natural ability to be able to fight all that shit off. Sides, why would you want to live a doped up life? I feel very antsy in my skin when I'm hopped up on anything.

[Mea]

Yeah, I think taking so many medications diminishes the body's natural ability to be able to fight all that shit off. Sides, why would you want to live a doped up life? I feel very antsy in my skin when I'm hopped up on anything.

Yes! I agree!

[xyz]

Let's fucking hear it for duals =]

I've honestly met so many people in the US who are on like 3-4 medications.... and it baffles me. I'm like "Do you ever just feel 'normal'?" I think once I've gotten a "i don't remember what normal was" response...

[Mediator Kam]

ENFP's are nice to know on a aquaintance basis, but a relationship with them would end up diasterous for me, not serious enough about life for me.

[xyz]

Maybe you're TOO serious about life.

[Mediator Kam]

Maybe you're TOO serious about life.

oooo maybe.

*shrugs*

[Sponyonye]

I find that when I'm upset, THAT is when I have an attention span, and I can focus on this issue of pain for days if I can't find a solution to it.

The happier I am, the more my mind races around.

I did a comparison with my mother, an ISFj, and she says her mind jumps around when she is stressed. Interesting, no?

On ADHD, there actually is a basis for it. I just read in this amazing book called the Head Trip, probably written by an ENTp, that there is a lower theta-to-beta wave ratio in these people. But in the book is used this treatment called neurofeedback which is much more effective than medications. And there's probably a lot of kids who don't really have it but are prescribed Ritalin, which is ridiculous.

I'm an ENFp who never cancels social events, but that is because they are so rare for me. Ha. If you can find a loser ENFp like me, you may have better luck.

[UDP]

Yeah, I think taking so many medications diminishes the body's natural ability to be able to fight all that shit off. Sides, why would you want to live a doped up life? I feel very antsy in my skin when I'm hopped up on anything.

Yes! I agree!

+ 1

[UDP]

Yeah my brother was "diagnosed" with ADD. I just called it him being fucking bored to tears at school.

A lot of kids have problems with it because of the electronic society we live in

turn the tv on!
don't like it, change channel!
mommy's got you a dvd player now for the car/minivan/hummer!
Videogames!
cellphones!
cellphones with games!


I even wrote recently about feeling disconnected from the internet - though that was mostly because I enjoy the constant interaction, though I feel it in my fingers when I type too much.


Teach kids how to meditate - that would rock their world.
Goodbye ADD/ADHD/ETC

[mikemex]

ENFP's are nice to know on a aquaintance basis, but a relationship with them would end up diasterous for me, not serious enough about life for me.

I bet you're ISFj, because my ISFp friend actually complains about me being overly serious.

[redbaron]

ENFP's are nice to know on a aquaintance basis, but a relationship with them would end up diasterous for me, not serious enough about life for me.

I bet you're ISFj, because my ISFp friend actually complains about me being overly serious.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that Kamagir's ISFj, but I had a similar thought that ISFps don't normally get blamed for being too serious. At least not the ones I know.

[implied]

ENFP's are nice to know on a aquaintance basis, but a relationship with them would end up diasterous for me, not serious enough about life for me.

I bet you're ISFj, because my ISFp friend actually complains about me being overly serious.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that Kamagir's ISFj, but I had a similar thought that ISFps don't normally get blamed for being too serious. At least not the ones I know.

yeah, i would tend to think if anything, the "not at all serious" attitude is as ISFp as it gets.

[FDG]

Well, she didn't say she is serious herself, just that she needs a partner which is more serious than ENFps, might just be that she's really unserious and she needs a balance?

[mikemex]

Who's more "serious about life"? ENTp or ENTj?

[Mea]

You guys are probably seeing "serious" from different perspectives.

[schrödinger's cat]

ENFps "not serious"? Wasn't there this cliché about how ENFps can be all flaky, frivolous and fun when they're around their friends, but they've got this serious, even morose side to them which they don't really show "in public"? An ENFp will typically mope in private. And I get the impression lots of us are choosy about when and where we show our serious side. We probably seem extra-frivolous because we often don't engage in "serious" discussions when we feel that it'd be useless to even try and explain our own position because the other person isn't really in a place to (want to) understand us. (Kind of what ISTps do, only they'd call it "refusing to waste one's breath arguing with morons". ;-)

About the attention span: that term doesn't really hit the nail on the head. I'd call it a really low boredom threshhold.

[kensi]

here's a newsflash to ya'll, we enfp's have no attention sp... damn thats a cool car
lol

the biggest complaint i hear about us is that we seem to not pay attention, or cancel plans, or w/e
the simple harsh truth as i see it is that we are naturally drawn to the most interesting thing in our particular environment, be that parties, movies, books, etc...
we are idea initiators who cant follow through without a huge amount of effort and concentration on our part
(heres the part where i kinda ramble so at the bottom of this post ive made a list of practical ways to guarantee an enfp will not cancel out on you)


what this basically boils down to is that if you want to spend time with your enfp friend/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend then you need to be interesting. for example, being enfp i try to cram as much into my schedule as i can. i work an average of 50 hours a week in four days, that means i have 3 days off. one of those days off is reserved for me to take care of my shopping, bills etc... that means that in 2 days i need to pack in all my socializing. naturally im going to pick the most interesting stuff to do. if people want to spend time with me they need to be willing to find something fun to do, if i say that i want to do something, realistically thats about all the effort im going to put into it. im lucky enough to have friends who are very good at the follow through part however, so i suggest something, they work it out, and it happens. anyhoo i follow this schedule for a couple weeks and all the sudden someone will show up and say, hey i havent heard anything from you for 6 months, where the F have u been???
at this point i feel terrible and will make lots of time for them

anyways the point is that if you are having problems connecting with an enfp and they sound anything like me, they will most likely be very touched if you call them up and tell them you want to do something. some suggestions that should keep them from canceling out on you:

1. make plans for the near future: the next weekend, tomorrow etc..
2. make sure it is understood that this time is reserved for you, plans have been made, they are important to you
3. once the time has been set, leave the actual plans open to change (for example, you planned to go to a movie, but this guy is having this really cool party over the same time, so go to the party)
3 1/2. if you planned something special and it would really hurt you to do something else, dont be afraid to say so
4. there are 2 circumstances that may come up that the enfp will cancel on you even with all this: a mandatory family get together, another pre-planned thing that the enfp forgot about when they made plans with you. in these cases try to be understanding and plan something else

as near as i can figure it, if you have the person typed correctly as enfp this should work to get them to spend time with you. it would work on me, so thats how im figuring it
responses if you have anything to say are welcomed

This is a damn good piece here you put out..funny too.... Shucks.... Just as i was about to change my type and not be ENFp here i go again looking the other way at what i'm leaving behind.

[kensi]

This will probably disputed heavely, but I've read that ENFP's have the highest percentage of ADHD sufferers. (=Attention disorder)

I dont know...i think you probably might be right... i know of some examples in my loife

[thePirate]

here's a newsflash to ya'll, we enfp's have no attention sp... damn thats a cool car
lol

the biggest complaint i hear about us is that we seem to not pay attention, or cancel plans, or w/e
the simple harsh truth as i see it is that we are naturally drawn to the most interesting thing in our particular environment, be that parties, movies, books, etc...
we are idea initiators who cant follow through without a huge amount of effort and concentration on our part
(heres the part where i kinda ramble so at the bottom of this post ive made a list of practical ways to guarantee an enfp will not cancel out on you)


what this basically boils down to is that if you want to spend time with your enfp friend/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend then you need to be interesting. for example, being enfp i try to cram as much into my schedule as i can. i work an average of 50 hours a week in four days, that means i have 3 days off. one of those days off is reserved for me to take care of my shopping, bills etc... that means that in 2 days i need to pack in all my socializing. naturally im going to pick the most interesting stuff to do. if people want to spend time with me they need to be willing to find something fun to do, if i say that i want to do something, realistically thats about all the effort im going to put into it. im lucky enough to have friends who are very good at the follow through part however, so i suggest something, they work it out, and it happens. anyhoo i follow this schedule for a couple weeks and all the sudden someone will show up and say, hey i havent heard anything from you for 6 months, where the F have u been???
at this point i feel terrible and will make lots of time for them

anyways the point is that if you are having problems connecting with an enfp and they sound anything like me, they will most likely be very touched if you call them up and tell them you want to do something. some suggestions that should keep them from canceling out on you:

1. make plans for the near future: the next weekend, tomorrow etc..
2. make sure it is understood that this time is reserved for you, plans have been made, they are important to you
3. once the time has been set, leave the actual plans open to change (for example, you planned to go to a movie, but this guy is having this really cool party over the same time, so go to the party)
3 1/2. if you planned something special and it would really hurt you to do something else, dont be afraid to say so
4. there are 2 circumstances that may come up that the enfp will cancel on you even with all this: a mandatory family get together, another pre-planned thing that the enfp forgot about when they made plans with you. in these cases try to be understanding and plan something else

as near as i can figure it, if you have the person typed correctly as enfp this should work to get them to spend time with you. it would work on me, so thats how im figuring it
responses if you have anything to say are welcomed

UGH, another one...this isnt an "ENFP" thing man. EVERYONE is drawn to the most interesting things, obviously.

WHO wants to do something boring? lmao.

All people do what they want at the end of the day. And its not only 'enfp's that have short attention spans, if you can even say that this type or any as a whole HAS that

Cool list, serves more a purpose as a general guideline for people then a specific type.