Male IEEs-ENFps vs. Female ENFps

[jewels]

I find the ENFP differences really interesting.

Lately I've met a bunch of male ENFPs, not sure why. But I've noticed they seem so different from me. I think it's because male ENFPs can't always act they way they want to because of society.

One of them recently told me he totally over-compensates for being "nice" because he's in the miliary, i.e., he has beaten people up to prove a point, etc. I had noticed that w/ another male ENFP also, as far as being super into competitive sports (and doing well at them).

It just makes me wonder if it's possible for a male ENFP to just be nice and the way they are? I think it is.

Thoughts?

[anndelise]

I find the ENFP differences really interesting.

Lately I've met a bunch of male ENFPs, not sure why. But I've noticed they seem so different from me. I think it's because male ENFPs can't always act they way they want to because of society.

One of them recently told me he totally over-compensates for being "nice" because he's in the miliary, i.e., he has beaten people up to prove a point, etc. I had noticed that w/ another male ENFP also, as far as being super into competitive sports (and doing well at them).

It just makes me wonder if it's possible for a male ENFP to just be nice and the way they are? I think it is.

Thoughts?

i dated a male enfp once.
He was an esfj wanna be mixed with a gamma wanna be, depending on the topic and his mood.
For example, rules of ethics and etiquitte were esfj. We often fought about these things. Particularly about how his behavior contradicted his ideals.
He also had some serious ideals about how rich and such he could become based on nothing more than someone's words. If around certain people from the company he worked for, he'd go into total gamma mode regarding wealth, ignoring his own personal interests etc that would get into the way. Heh, he still does, but this time he's got an understanding and stable istp wife.

he was a good guy. but fell easily into external ideals of how he should be, particularly as a male and a mate.

[Jarno]

The main difference that I see in ENFP male/female is that the male's seems relaxed and cool, and the girls seems more tensed, and witty.

[xyz]

Tensed??? wazzat?

[Jarno]

Tensed??? wazzat?

in comparison to ENFP males I meant, but now you bring it up "energized" is a better word.

male: cool / relaxed
female: energized, witty

[xyz]

O I C, thanks. Yeah, outgoing energized girls sure are purty.

[xyz]

Really?

Christ, Australia sounds better by the day =D

[xyz]

You mean as far as celebrated types go? Yeah I'd go as far and say LIE's are viewed with the utmost respect in our society.

DEAL. It's done. I'm buying my tickets now.

[liveandletlive]

i dated this one enfp guy who acted way too immature for his age. he was 25 and all he talked about was getting hammered and doing crazy shit with his friends... like didn't you grow out of that when you were a freshman in college? when he told me about how he was going on his last spring break this year i ended it. you're going on spring break and you're 25?!

idk enfps are nice people though. perhaps a little too naive and immature, but they have good intentions nonetheless.

[hellothere]

Australia is Delta country. I hear the USA is Gamma. Swap?

you're crazy!

[tiny_dancer]

The only ENFp guy I've met was a carbon copy of myself. I would definitely describe him as relaxed, very artsy, and comfortable in his ENFp-ness. But he'd been homeschooled...

Ha! I'm right there with ya' with the people who need to grow up. There's an entire league of kickball players here who spend 6 hours on a Sunday playing beer pong. They're 26+, but it's like they've never left the frat house. There's a point when you look pathetic when you don't have any other hobbies for the weekend other than drinking. all. day.

[UDP]

Australia is Delta country. I hear the USA is Gamma. Swap?

America is land of the fatass.

[Ezra]

It's like my best friend versus my mum.

They get on very well.

[hellothere]

oh I'm no patriotic Aussie or anything, but I just didn't understand why you'd want to move to the US

[hellothere]

oh sorry (feels very embarassed)

good to know you weren't being serious though.

[xyz]

Who can spend an entire weekend drinking all day anyway? I never really understood that one..

[liveandletlive]

Who can spend an entire weekend drinking all day anyway? I never really understood that one..

*raises both hands*

[xyz]

I see. enjoy your beer pong

[liveandletlive]

I see. enjoy your beer pong

i'm not a beer drinker, but i guess the intent is the same- thanks!

[Mea]

Who can spend an entire weekend drinking all day anyway? I never really understood that one..

Ya. Don't those people need rest at all?? Doesn't it make them sick?
I enjoy drinking but not to the point where it makes me uncomfortable.
I know people who do that, drinking every night, and come to work the next day, and they look like zombies.

[xyz]

Who can spend an entire weekend drinking all day anyway? I never really understood that one..

Ya. Don't those people need rest at all?? Doesn't it make them sick?
I enjoy drinking but not to the point where it makes me uncomfortable.
I know people who do that, drinking every night, and come to work the next day, and they look like zombies.

Yeah seriously wtf doesn't that.... hurt? I drink to enjoy myself not really to get plastered and not remember the next night. That and it makes talking to strangers easier..... a little

[tiny_dancer]

If I drink every weekend, I get wicked hangovers that nothing will cure. I actually think the more often I drink, the worse they get. For a while I spent one day of my coveted weekends feeling like total crap, so it's probably no wonder I've developed a vague animosity towards it...I can't partake in the fun like everybody else can anyway. I think the monotony gets me too. If another activity is involved, like going to a comedy club, I'm fine with it, but just bar hopping, I'm thinking, "We just did this last weekend. And the weekend before. And the weekend before..."

[jewels]

hmm, the more ENFPs I meet, the more different they all seem. No wonder it can be so hard to type people! One ENFP was extremely quiet and cold (had a bad childhood though), another was very loud and overly-assertive (like trying to act ESTP or ESFP), and a third was super warm and talkative and not like the first two at all. Then another one was sort of quiet and boring and actually talked with a flat sort of a monotone. And another was super serious and quiet (at work though) and you would have sworn he was an INTP or an ISTJ or something.

So I guess there are more variations within each type than I realized, as far as charisma, and warmth. Feeler does not equal warm. And thinker does not equal cold, I'm realizing! This may sound ovbious to you all, but you get that image of a type in mind and it's suprising to see how off it can be!

[xyz]

Ah crap. Now i'll never be able to type these guys/gals.

Whatever im much easier to type so maybe they'll spot me before i can spot them.

[Angel von Himmel]

Australia is Delta country. I hear the USA is Gamma. Swap?

I am there! I love delta people!

[jewels]

Ah crap. Now i'll never be able to type these guys/gals.

Whatever im much easier to type so maybe they'll spot me before i can spot them.

Yeah the ENFPs will probably notice you right away, so no worries. But despite the ENFP differences, I could still tell almost right away that they were all ENFPs. There's that sort of sensitivity right below the surface, the concern with being liked, the energetic spontenaity, creative interets (usually, but not always) and a lot of empathy if you say something sucks. Also, there's that effort to be taken seriously and the serious outlook that is right below the goofiness.

For some reason I've only met one female ENFP though. What stuck out about her was that she always seemed somewhat confused and/or lost and she laughed constantly. Most ENFPs don't seem that way to me though, so she might have been another type (though she said she was an ENFP).

[xyz]

Yeah the ENFPs will probably notice you right away, so no worries. But despite the ENFP differences, I could still tell almost right away that they were all ENFPs. There's that sort of sensitivity right below the surface, the concern with being liked, the energetic spontenaity, creative interets (usually, but not always) and a lot of empathy if you say something sucks. Also, there's that effort to be taken seriously and the serious outlook that is right below the goofiness.

For some reason I've only met one female ENFP though. What stuck out about her was that she always seemed somewhat confused and/or lost and she laughed constantly. Most ENFPs don't seem that way to me though, so she might have been another type (though she said she was an ENFP).

Yeah the only ENFp I knew was how you described them, jewel. She gave a bit of a "im random and I don't care" attitude but I could tell she still cared about other people's opinions of her. And yeah she was 'goofy' on the surface but she was serious underneath. I know because we've been friends for like 4 years =p

[schrödinger's cat]

One ENFP was extremely quiet and cold ..., another was very loud and overly-assertive ..., and a third was super warm and talkative .... Then another one was sort of quiet and boring and actually talked with a flat sort of a monotone. And another was super serious and quiet (at work though) and you would have sworn he was an INTP or an ISTJ or something.

I think I've been all of those. (Depends on where I am, who I'm with and how I'm feeling.)

[Khola aka Bee]

I come from the land down under.......*joey skips away*

[munenori2]

Beeeeeeeeeeer Poooooooooooooooooooooong!

I WILL DESTROY YOU!!! (assuming the tables are regulation size)

[meatburger]

I come from the land down under.......*joey skips away*

me too. Aussies are steadily growing here. I think the word of socionics is getting out.

[tiny_dancer]

Yeah, I think I've been all of those different descriptions at one time of my life or another. When I was young, I was super quiet and had terrible self esteem. But I think that was influenced a lot by the people I was around. Then I went to college and it took 4 years of making presentations and an acting class before I felt less self-conscious around people. I still am pretty quiet at work when I'm concentrating. Then I start goofing around with a coworker and my INTj boss makes comments that my personality is schizophrenic. (Would you prefer I be loud all the time? Is that what you're looking for? 'Cause I can accomplish that if it would make you happy...Having a 'supervisor' as your boss sucks sometimes)

I think now I come off pretty consistently as 'cheerful, and laughs a lot.'

[meatburger]

For some reason I've only met one female ENFP though. What stuck out about her was that she always seemed somewhat confused and/or lost and she laughed constantly.

#1 That actually sounds similar to an enfp girl i know. I think the laughter is from nervousness. I have been feeling sorry for her lately. She seems drained in a similar way i do when things aren't working out. Shes blonde and people assume shes pretty stupid. Unfortunately she doesn't always do herself any favours such as asking what a grenade and a crane is while we were playing pictionary. I overheard her esfp friend telling an entj guy how ditsy she was and she was close enough to hear. Pretty huge polr slap. Shes really nice and has very good social skills. My estj friend thinks shes not dumb at all.

#2 My friends sister. She is always very happy and go lucky and has a ISTP chef boyfriend(who is cool and persued her for a year but is a bit of a bogan). Ive known this girl for years and i must say i have never ever met someone with as lame/booring stories as her. She always talks about her family in her stories. She loves to talk but she doesn't realise that no one else is interested at all.

#3 ENFP girl i used to work with. Crazy, zany funny girl. She was basically awesome, everyone liked her. she used to make origami animals and give them to people. She played netball, was cute looking. Always making something or doing something interesting on her desk. My desk was 100% empty hers was chock a block full of stuff.Just had a baby and i heard she suffered from a bit of post-natal depression. Shes in good hands though as she has an ISTp boyfriend. She used to talk a bit child like occasionaly to be cute, which it was. She hid her polr well.

#4 ENFp guy (I think not 100%). Hes a legend, tall good looking and always so calm. He talked in a bit of a monotone voice though but i was always impressed how relaxed he seemed. In fact could have been INFp im not sure.

#5 ENFp girl. Friend of my friends house mate in melbourne. Hippy like and calm. Very sexy. Didn't meet her many times but i found us grinning at each other like we knew some secret. She basically fucked with the ISTp housemates mind by moving in with her boyfriend into his appartment. ISTp was in love with her. It turned out he had been collecting her hair and taking pictures of her when she was sleeping. (long story)

#6 ENFp is me! I dunno. Lifes been easy with material things and not without its blows for me. I seem to change moods on a dime. Im pretty skeptical and not as innocent as some ive met. I barely ever get angry but sometimes find it hard to hide my melancoly thoughts. I think just like tiny though i probablly come across as calm and a joker.

So as you can see very different people but all fit the ENFp general mode. hmm i fear i might have fallen into the booring trap myself with this post lol.

[Khola aka Bee]

So where do you think I fit into that picture? I hope I don't bore people!

[tiny_dancer]

It turned out he had been collecting her hair and taking pictures of her when she was sleeping.

omg... that's it, ISTps, you're off my list... weirdos...

[meatburger]

So where do you think I fit into that picture? I hope I don't bore people!

Dunno

Im thinking it could be a subtype difference. Some ENFp's seem more pure, in the sense that they think less and act more. They are probablly less reserved and more social, but more prone to missing social fopas.

The other type is more thoughtful, perhaps shyer and quiter, but more calculating with their interractions. Im this type. Sometimes i wish i thought less though.

Thats just the way i see it, perhaps im missing the big picture?

omg...

He was a weird dude. Of course i could have been wrong but i would guess 95% ISTp. He was a bike courier and was proud that he would procure things like toilet paper from the buildings he worked at. Dont worry though i know ISTp guys and they are not weird at all . You could tell he was whack in the head the first time you saw him. But yeah he was stealing the rent and binning the eviction notices so the house got closed. When this girl and her bf broke in they thought they would look in his room to see if they could steal anything valuable. Thats when they found the mighty big ball of her hair. I have no fuken idea where he got it from :/

[schrödinger's cat]

Im thinking it could be a subtype difference. Some ENFp's ... think less and act more. They are probablly less reserved and more social, but more prone to missing social fopas.

The other type is more thoughtful, perhaps shyer and quiter, but more calculating with their interractions. ...

(1) = Ne subtype?
(2) = Fi subtype?

Intuitive Subtype

A very sociable, spirited, mobile person. The initiator of many things; however, he is characterized by great restlessness and changeability. Very creative, but scattered and undisciplined. Capable to [?splash out?] his dissatisfaction, also, to authorities, [?it is not considered the subordination?]. Outwardly, he frequently has complete rounded forms. In his clothing he can be demonstrative and bright, sometimes even loud.

Ethical Subtype

Sees in people their concealed gravities and attachments. Prefers to work on a short psychological distance (unlike the other subtype). He loves to give advice, and he gravitates towards psychoanalysis, in this case counts on manifestation in people of their positive qualities. He can stand up for others, defending their interests, but finds it difficult to stand up for himself. Is outwardly more frequently thin and elegant. In his clothing, he prefers a free cut and soft colours.

Or
(1) = Fi subtype,
(2) = Ne subtype?

ENFP:

ADVISOR - Intuitive subtype

The Advisor produces the impression of someone that is a little torn from reality. It is internally concentrated and somewhat scattered. It is inclined to swift contrasts in behavior. It can be shy and apathetic in one moment. This moment could drastically change into an emotional lift that brings out determination and activity. It can possess a melancholy expression of face as easily as it can possess a happy facial expression. It produces diverse impressions that can range from thoughtful to impulsive to optimistic to depressed to shy and to energetic. Due to it's perplexing internal world it can be very sensitive so it hides its problems under the mask of lightheartedness.

The Advisor tries to be friendly to all while it attempts to understand those that it is communicating with. It often gives a soft smile while doing this. It is attentive, soft and tactful while remaining confident. It loves to investigates the problems of others. In doing so, it tries to give advice on how to avoid negative situations. It protects it's views emotionally and can present fierce pressure when arguing about it's own values.

The Advisor's motions are badly coordinated and impulsive. It's gait is rapid and somewhat clumsy.

IMPROVISOR - Ethical subtype

The Improvisor is impatient and a bit extravagant. It is not easily predictable in it's actions and statements. It loves to astonish or to entertain those near it. It can even spice up daily events. The Improvisor frequently becomes the soul of the party since it possesses self-confidence combined with positive humor and spontaneity. This subtype is characterized by youthful sincerity and directness since it does not hide it's feelings often. It frequently creates comfortable situations with aquaintances even if the company is made up of unfamiliar people. Since it is optimistic and friendly, it often speaks compliments. Even though it is somewhat coy, it can be very straight-forward and rash in it's statements and behaviors. This produces the impression of theatricality.

Sometimes it is energetic for periods of concentrated time. It looks direct and attentive during this time.

The Improvisor's motions are usually sharp and decisive. Its gait is swift and confident even though it is somewhat angular. It loves originality but also has good taste and often produces a positive impression.

...this is confusing.

[meatburger]

...this is confusing.

Good to see ya Cat. If i recall those two descriptions both contradict each other. Im Fi in the first Ne in the second.. I think i remember now why i dont believe im subtypes lol.

[schrödinger's cat]

Thanks.

A Fi subtype will be a little like an INFj. And a Ne subtype won't.

That would make sense, wouldn't it? Now if only I knew what this means? What's the "actually rather serious once you get to know us" function, Ne or Fi?

...If I use ENFp logic, I can solve this problem... I know 2 ISTps. The Si subtype has stronger Fi, the Te subtype has stronger Ne. So, a Ne-ENFp will have stronger Te, and a Fi-ENFp will have stronger Si. I'm quiet, but surprisingly well organized... I must be a Ne subtype. Easypeasypoo.

[force my hand]

u guys are crazy.