Intro and self-analysis (long post + pictures)

[tereg]

Hey everyone!

I'm Joshua, and I am hope that I can adequately (though not succinctly, I'm afraid) detail out a recent self-evaluation I've chosen to undertake and get your input about what I've found out and what I did to get to that point.

I have been acquainted with the MBTI for pretty much my entire life. My family has been using MBTI before I was even born and I've grown up with a fairly decent understanding of it. My family has been very good friends with Dr. Charles Meisgeier, Professor Emeritus of Educational Psychology at the University of Houston who has (among other things) developed an instrument to identify personality differences in children that uses MBTI typing. I had an opportunity to take this instrument when I was very young.

http://www.arbor.org/director.php (Profile of Dr. Meisgeier)

Anyways, I've only recently found out about Socionics and I am intrigued so far by what I've read both here on the forum and at other sites. So, I look forward to learning more and more about Socionics and getting to know some of you around here.

Before I get into who I am, how I've typed and how I got to this point, I'll start with some pictures to give you VI gurus a start.





I'll explain the origin of some of these photos later on (which might illustrate more of my personality), and there's more where that came from.

Anyways, I guess what I'll do is I'll put down a little bit about myself generally, then type-wise, start at the end and work my way backwards.

A lot of what I'm going to describe here is basically how I've described myself according to my Myspace page with maybe a little bit more information. It will be quite random at times too, so I hope that it does come across well enough.

I graduated with an Electrical Engineering degree (I'll explain how I came to decide this major in another post if you're interested) from UT in 2004, and I currently work as a System Administrator at a local community bank. So, I handle technical support for bank employees and some bank clients and also maintain the computers within the bank.

My passion is serving and helping others. I love being forthright and transparent about who I am and what I'm about and verbally processing these things with people as sounding boards. I'm really interested in different perspectives and how different people can see the same thing in different lights, and really trying to understand motives and reasons people have for thinking and feeling the way they do (especially when they are perspectives that differ from mine). I make an effort to really, honestly understand people. I also make an effort to be flexible, warm, and easy-going with people (I consciously try to avoid conflict). Simple and mundane things fascinate me.

I don't like to gawk or stare at people in fear of being impolite or rude, but I like observing people and watching people and how they interact with one another. It's just so interesting to me. But I don't like to verbally comment about everything that I see, but I like processing it internally and thinking about it. I don't talk just to talk. Though I can be extremely wordy, when I say something, I make sure it has purpose.

I'm kind of a loner; I like being left alone at times, but I really like having people to talk about what's going on in my head. I like close-knit, smaller, more intimate group settings. Larger groups do make me feel uncomfortable. But public speaking doesn't bother me (speech class really helped with that). I like long conversations with people.

I'm kind of a goofball in my inefficiency. I pay great attention to detail, and I crave structure in task. I put a lot of energy into whatever it is that I do, and a lot of it gets wasted when I do simple tasks in weird orders. I have been apt to overwork myself at times, staying late to make sure things get finished properly (even if in my inefficiency that means it would take longer). When I choose to do something, it's because I desire to do it. I feel like I'm being disrespectful to others if I force myself to go somewhere but I don't want to really be there. I feel a great sense of inner conflict when what I desire differs from what I should do. So, I'm apt to being stubborn at times and not really listening to other people's advice when I should be listening to them.

I'm a pack rat. I still keep mementos from my past. I'm very nostalgic and reminiscent and can be quite histrionic when remembering specific events from my past. I will often replay mistakes from my past in my mind over and over again. I really think I consciously do that (or originally chose to do that) because in some weird way, remembering it would prevent me from forgetting my mistakes and be able to learn from them. Unfortnuately, in doing that, I will often not learn from my mistakes but instead relive them. I remember specific dates, places, emotions, and senses from significant things from my past.

I don't like thinking about the future unless it's mapped out or framed in my mind. I have a hard time relaxing and just... letting things be. Being care-free is a quality that I admire in others. I think a lot about how other people see me or perceive me, and many times to an unhealthy degree. Letting go is a challenge for me.

I constantly try to evaluate what my strengths and weaknesses are and really try hard to work on those weaknesses bit by bit... it might take longer to achieve some things because of my stubbornness, but I really try to recognize and find ways to improve various areas of my life.

There are times when I enjoy expressing myself (when I have the energy and desire to do it) through creative video blogs (on my YouTube page). I don't do typical video blogs, but rather try to add my own stamp to them. Some of the pictures above are straight from my video blogs. I don't make episodes all the time, maybe one every few months... but I enjoy expressing myself through it. My musical tastes are very diverse and they change depending on how I feel. I like using music to express things that I go through.

Ok, I think that's plenty long for now.

To how I typed.

Before I registered here, I found out about and took the Socionics Type Assistant. I really did my best to be mindful of how I am outside of work and be clear about what I definitely am and what I definitely am not. Here are the results of that first take.

http://www.the16types.info/typeassistant/sta.php?4Esoee2yt1w1wUjibzOhkr$UpjCsMOvlwNTb@de:kZ{FWxisYI1 j)Xeekkt1UjUj.xvgIUV1U1faau},:201107201144

This was the very first time that I've taken the Type Indicator, and as you can see from the results, I came out pretty definitively INFJ/EII. After reading several portraits and articles on INFJ, I really find what they say fitting and describing my essence.

Before this recent self-examination, again, I used the MBTI to type myself. About a year or so ago, I found myself at a point where I wanted to as best as I could, objectively re-evaluate my strengths and weaknesses. At that time, I typed ISFJ. And I identified with the different descriptions I read about ISFJ.

And I find that interesting seeing that and ISFJ and INFJ are Comparative/Kindred types. I have two ISFJ friends that I really can identify with and understand. But when I read articles between ISFJ and INFJ, I really believe that INFJ fits me more completely than ISFJ does. The only thread that I could find that even addressed this ESI/EII relationship was a short one on socionics.com, so I'm particularly interested in talking about this particular relationship.

Actually, I wonder if maybe at work, the nature of my work demonstrates and when I'm away from work I tend to demonstrate socially and emotionally ?

What do you guys think? For those of you that read through this whole post, I really do appreciate you taking the time out to work this out with me. Thank you.

If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask. My life is an open book, and I am not afraid to help you better understand who I am, which I hope in turn helps me to understand you better.

Thanks again guys, I look forward to your responses.

[Mediator Kam]

"If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask. My life is an open book, and I am not afraid to help you better understand who I am, which I hope in turn helps me to understand you better."

^My ISFJ mom^

As I just said, you sound a lot like my ISFJ mom, but then you say that INFJ fits you more completely.

I'm not really familiar with INFJ, having never met one before, (probably because they're so rare), but what I do know sounds amazingly like you.

[munenori2]

Tereg, if the choice is between ISFj and INFj, I would think your self-description is more the latter. You sound like more of an intuitive type, especially given what you have to say about constantly thinking about the past and having a developed sense of time. Also, I think that your relative inability to relax and admiration of those who are care-free would fit with the hidden agenda of an INFj. You probably haven't had any time to really go over what the Model A functions and information elements are yet, but hopefully this might give you an idea of where you might start. You certainly come off as an Fi-valuer and your active conflict aversion sounds like you might not value . You sound like a delta quadra kind of guy.

So anyway, I'd suggest doing some research, reading, and thinking to get as good a grasp as you can on the material. Feel free to ask questions and welcome to the forum!

[Mediator Kam]

Tereg, if the choice is between ISFj and INFj, I would think your self-description is more the latter. You sound like more of an intuitive type, especially given what you have to say about constantly thinking about the past and having a developed sense of time. Also, I think that your relative inability to relax and admiration of those who are care-free would fit with the hidden agenda of an INFj. You probably haven't had any time to really go over what the Model A functions and information elements are yet, but hopefully this might give you an idea of where you might start. You certainly come off as an Fi-valuer and your active conflict aversion sounds like you might not value . You sound like a delta quadra kind of guy.

So anyway, I'd suggest doing some research, reading, and thinking to get as good a grasp as you can on the material. Feel free to ask questions and welcome to the forum!

That was great munenori. I am super jealous of your skills.

[munenori2]

Don't be too jealous. I'm just a hotshot rookie...

I do appreciate the vote of confidence though.

[tereg]

Tereg, if the choice is between ISFj and INFj, I would think your self-description is more the latter.

I had a pretty strong hunch that this was the case. But I was more trying to understand the relationships and overlap between EII and MBTI ISFJ and how that might project onto me.

And it seems that you have pointed me in the right direction after reading a bit about Model A, I think that's basically what I was aiming to find.

I was more wondering out loud as to how it was (and also what aspects of my life) that I was able to identify with MBTI ISFJ, yet feel more completely described by EII.

Thank you.

[Mediator Kam]

Tereg, if the choice is between ISFj and INFj, I would think your self-description is more the latter.

I had a pretty strong hunch that this was the case. But I was more trying to understand the relationships and overlap between EII and MBTI ISFJ and how that might project onto me.

And it seems that you have pointed me in the right direction after reading a bit about Model A, I think that's basically what I was aiming to find.

I was more wondering out loud as to how it was (and also what aspects of my life) that I was able to identify with MBTI ISFJ, yet feel more completely described by EII.

Thank you.

MBTI types define you as a person in society, how you fit into a social framework. EII separates the human psyche into 4 blocks, and is more systematic and methodical in its scope, thereby giving a better overall fit to the personality.

The reason you feel defined by ISFJ could be because it describes you in a social context, which you deal with on a day to day basis.

[Exodus]

I don't like thinking about the future unless it's mapped out or framed in my mind. I have a hard time relaxing and just... letting things be. Being care-free is a quality that I admire in others.

What exactly do you mean by care-free?

(I'm inclined to think ENFp, but INFj is possible.)

[tereg]

What exactly do you mean by care-free?
(I'm inclined to think ENFp, but INFj is possible.)

What I mean by that is being able to do things without caring so much about what other people think about it. Unfortunately, some of the decisions I make are based on others' perception of the decision I would make.

I'll give you an example.

When I'm making an unprotected right turn from a red light or pulling out of a driveway and a car pulls up behind me. Instead of going when I feel safe to go, suddenly, I shrink that threshhold because I don't want that guy behind me to get pissed off and honk, maybe get out of his car and share a few words with me. So I sacrifice my own safety and necessity just so I can avoid making the other person pissed off.

I know... totally irrational. But I'm just trying to illustrate truthfully what I mean by being care-free. That's what I mean by I admire people who are care-free. Because to me, they can be in that same driving posision and if that car honks behind them they'll be like "Hey, tough luck. You can just wait right there because I'm not going until I want to go." I really struggle with stuff like that.

Hope that helps to clarify it.

[tereg]

MBTI types define you as a person in society, how you fit into a social framework. EII separates the human psyche into 4 blocks, and is more systematic and methodical in its scope, thereby giving a better overall fit to the personality.

The reason you feel defined by ISFJ could be because it describes you in a social context, which you deal with on a day to day basis.

That's really interesting because it almost feels like EII defines me better socially than ISFJ. The day-to-day, non-work activities.

I'll have to do some more investigating on that as to why that might be the case.

[Mediator Kam]

"What I mean by that is being able to do things without caring so much about what other people think about it. Unfortunately, some of the decisions I make are based on others' perception of the decision I would make.

I'll give you an example.

When I'm making an unprotected right turn from a red light or pulling out of a driveway and a car pulls up behind me. Instead of going when I feel safe to go, suddenly, I shrink that threshhold because I don't want that guy behind me to get pissed off and honk, maybe get out of his car and share a few words with me. So I sacrifice my own safety and necessity just so I can avoid making the other person pissed off.

I know... totally irrational. But I'm just trying to illustrate truthfully what I mean by being care-free. That's what I mean by I admire people who are care-free. Because to me, they can be in that same driving posision and if that car honks behind them they'll be like "Hey, tough luck. You can just wait right there because I'm not going until I want to go." I really struggle with stuff like that.

Hope that helps to clarify it."

I understand you, but i fail to understand the bolded part.

and btw, thanks for clarifying what you meant by care-free.

[tereg]

I understand you, but i fail to understand the bolded part.

and btw, thanks for clarifying what you meant by care-free.

In the example I used, I have a standard that I will use to determine whether to pull out or not. Usually it's dependent upon how far an approaching car is and how fast I determine it is going. When there's nobody behind me, I feel relaxed and I can go when I feel safe. When someone is waiting on me, the threshhold (the standard I use) adjusts so that I can accomodate the person waiting on me.

Concretely, if my standard is a car 200 feet away going 30 mph, and somebody is waiting on me, I might sacrifice that standard and pull out if he's 100 feet away and going 45. Something along those lines.

The more agitated the person waiting on me gets, the more pressure I feel to move ASAP.

[Mediator Kam]

I understand you, but i fail to understand the bolded part.

and btw, thanks for clarifying what you meant by care-free.

In the example I used, I have a standard that I will use to determine whether to pull out or not. Usually it's dependent upon how far an approaching car is and how fast I determine it is going. When there's nobody behind me, I feel relaxed and I can go when I feel safe. When someone is waiting on me, the threshhold (the standard I use) adjusts so that I can accomodate the person waiting on me.

Concretely, if my standard is a car 200 feet away going 30 mph, and somebody is waiting on me, I might sacrifice that standard and pull out if he's 100 feet away and going 45. Something along those lines.

The more agitated the person waiting on me gets, the more pressure I feel to move ASAP.

OOO, I actually feel the same way, if someone is waiting on me to do something, I rush to get whatever I'm doing done, possibly messing up in the middle of hurrying.

I consider that part of me weak, and I wish I was more "care-free", as you defined it. Do you feel the same way about that driving habit?

[tereg]

OOO, I actually feel the same way, if someone is waiting on me to do something, I rush to get whatever I'm doing done, possibly messing up in the middle of hurrying.

I consider that part of me weak, and I wish I was more "care-free", as you defined it. Do you feel the same way about that driving habit?

Absolutely. I think it even goes beyond just the example I've used here because the same "logic" is used in many of the decisions I make for myself. I am very weak in being care-free, and I desire that for myself, very much so.

People waiting on me is one area where this decision tree process tends to happen with me. Another would be how I appear to other people. Like, I don't want to look like a fool walking down the street, so I consciously pay attention to how I'm walking or moving instead of just clearing my mind of it. I actually, consciously think about things like that.

I haven't officially been diagnosed for it by a professional, but I have found these tendencies seem to point to the symptoms of social anxiety disorder, in that those things that I care too much about (my perception of another person's perception) really drives how I act or what I say or what I do.

I'd like very much to be able to just... let go. Definitely.

[Mediator Kam]

OOO, I actually feel the same way, if someone is waiting on me to do something, I rush to get whatever I'm doing done, possibly messing up in the middle of hurrying.

I consider that part of me weak, and I wish I was more "care-free", as you defined it. Do you feel the same way about that driving habit?

Absolutely. I think it even goes beyond just the example I've used here because the same "logic" is used in many of the decisions I make for myself. I am very weak in being care-free, and I desire that for myself, very much so.

People waiting on me is one area where this decision tree process tends to happen with me. Another would be how I appear to other people. Like, I don't want to look like a fool walking down the street, so I consciously pay attention to how I'm walking or moving instead of just clearing my mind of it. I actually, consciously think about things like that.

I haven't officially been diagnosed for it by a professional, but I have found these tendencies seem to point to the symptoms of social anxiety disorder, in that those things that I care too much about (my perception of another person's perception) really drives how I act or what I say or what I do.

I'd like very much to be able to just... let go. Definitely.

I'm not a psychologist, but I understand exactly how you feel about caring a lot about how other people perceive you.

What has helped me tremendously is knowing not everyone is paying attention to everything I am doing, and I just try to act how God made me, without putting up a false face or acting like someone I am not.

[tereg]

I'm not a psychologist, but I understand exactly how you feel about caring a lot about how other people perceive you.

What has helped me tremendously is knowing not everyone is paying attention to everything I am doing, and I just try to act how God made me, without putting up a false face or acting like someone I am not.

I've only very recently started to believe the bolded part. When I could basically say "That guy over there... he doesn't care about what you look like. He doesn't care. Look, look, he's not even looking this way. He doesn't care." And so, slowly... very slowly, it starts to sink in. Basically when LSE's and LIE's verbally remind me. But you're right, that does help tremendously.

And if there's anything that I would be relieved of through eventually getting through it it's not feeling so... fake? when I feel like I'm being something that I'm not when I do stuff like this. Ugh... I can't really put into words at the moment what that turmoil feels like internally. It just doesn't feel good knowing that I'm basically putting up a facade instead of just being me.

But, baby steps. It's progress.

[Mediator Kam]

I'm not a psychologist, but I understand exactly how you feel about caring a lot about how other people perceive you.

What has helped me tremendously is knowing not everyone is paying attention to everything I am doing, and I just try to act how God made me, without putting up a false face or acting like someone I am not.

I've only very recently started to believe the bolded part. When I could basically say "That guy over there... he doesn't care about what you look like. He doesn't care. Look, look, he's not even looking this way. He doesn't care." And so, slowly... very slowly, it starts to sink in. Basically when LSE's and LIE's verbally remind me. But you're right, that does help tremendously.

And if there's anything that I would be relieved of through eventually getting through it it's not feeling so... fake? when I feel like I'm being something that I'm not when I do stuff like this. Ugh... I can't really put into words at the moment what that turmoil feels like internally. It just doesn't feel good knowing that I'm basically putting up a facade instead of just being me.

But, baby steps. It's progress.

Progression is hard for me, because it I try to become more than what I am, then I somehow feel fake that I am trying to "change myself" and therefore, not being true to myself.

That must be the ideology of people who become stagnant in their own ways, but idk.

And congrats on the progress you have so far made. It looks good to me.

[Exodus]

What exactly do you mean by care-free?
(I'm inclined to think ENFp, but INFj is possible.)

What I mean by that is being able to do things without caring so much about what other people think about it. Unfortunately, some of the decisions I make are based on others' perception of the decision I would make.

I'll give you an example.

When I'm making an unprotected right turn from a red light or pulling out of a driveway and a car pulls up behind me. Instead of going when I feel safe to go, suddenly, I shrink that threshhold because I don't want that guy behind me to get pissed off and honk, maybe get out of his car and share a few words with me. So I sacrifice my own safety and necessity just so I can avoid making the other person pissed off.

Good, that's exactly what I was looking for. Basically weak Se, and probably unvalued. INFj seems perfectly suitable.

[tereg]

That must be the ideology of people who become stagnant in their own ways, but idk.
And congrats on the progress you have so far made. It looks good to me.

For me specifically, it's a result of simply giving into fear. I become something I'm not or change myself because I fear being misunderstood or misinterpreted.

And also, thank you.

[hellothere]

hey joshua

I'm new to socionics and this forum as well, so I can't really offer much insight, but I just wanted to say hi and welcome

I'm jealous of your MBTI-exposed upbringing!

i'm a confused Ixxx, but I do relate to some of the things you've said:

I graduated with an Electrical Engineering degree (I'll explain how I came to decide this major in another post if you're interested) from UT in 2004, and I currently work as a System Administrator at a local community bank. So, I handle technical support for bank employees and some bank clients and also maintain the computers within the bank.

yeah i'm interested in why you chose electrical engineering as your major?

My passion is serving and helping others. I love being forthright and transparent about who I am and what I'm about and verbally processing these things with people as sounding boards. I'm really interested in different perspectives and how different people can see the same thing in different lights, and really trying to understand motives and reasons people have for thinking and feeling the way they do (especially when they are perspectives that differ from mine). I make an effort to really, honestly understand people. I also make an effort to be flexible, warm, and easy-going with people (I consciously try to avoid conflict). Simple and mundane things fascinate me.

Definitely relate to that

I don't like to gawk or stare at people in fear of being impolite or rude, but I like observing people and watching people and how they interact with one another. It's just so interesting to me. But I don't like to verbally comment about everything that I see, but I like processing it internally and thinking about it. I don't talk just to talk. Though I can be extremely wordy, when I say something, I make sure it has purpose.

relate immensely to all that

I'm kind of a loner; I like being left alone at times, but I really like having people to talk about what's going on in my head. I like close-knit, smaller, more intimate group settings. Larger groups do make me feel uncomfortable. But public speaking doesn't bother me (speech class really helped with that).

yep, (even the public speaking part, though its another matter as to whether I'm good at it).

I'm a pack rat. I still keep mementos from my past. I'm very nostalgic and reminiscent and can be quite histrionic when remembering specific events from my past. I will often replay mistakes from my past in my mind over and over again. I really think I consciously do that (or originally chose to do that) because in some weird way, remembering it would prevent me from forgetting my mistakes and be able to learn from them. Unfortnuately, in doing that, I will often not learn from my mistakes but instead relive them. I remember specific dates, places, emotions, and senses from significant things from my past.

I get vivid flashes from the past as well, but most of the time they're unwanted and I try to shut them down as soon as possible, so I guess we are different in that sense.

I have a hard time relaxing and just... letting things be. Being care-free is a quality that I admire in others. I think a lot about how other people see me or perceive me, and many times to an unhealthy degree. Letting go is a challenge for me.

Me too. Initially I would've say I don't "admire" people who are carefree (though I am jealous of them), as I equated "care-free" with "irresponsible". But I read your later post and I think I do admire the quality you described.

I constantly try to evaluate what my strengths and weaknesses are and really try hard to work on those weaknesses bit by bit... it might take longer to achieve some things because of my stubbornness, but I really try to recognize and find ways to improve various areas of my life.

Same here

I like using music to express things that I go through.

yep

What do you guys think? For those of you that read through this whole post, I really do appreciate you taking the time out to work this out with me. Thank you.

I said almost the exact same thing at the end of my post. Some of the things you say sound like things I would say, almost word for word. But your post as a whole seemed a lot more coherent, neater, and planned than mine.

You and your expressions look very different to mine, you seem much warmer and open and not afraid to express yourself (though I do do that raised eyebrow thing you do a lot, though my mouth isn't so expressive ). If you are an INFj, then purely from VI I doubt I am.

anyway, like usual I feel like I've talked about myself too much, but really I was trying to convey how reassured I feel to know that there are people similar to me out there (even if we're not the same type) and how grateful I am for that

peace out

PS. sometimes I feel the same way about social anxiety disorder
PPS. it's strange that you mention ISFJ. Even though I've always typed as an INFP or INFJ on MBTI, the first time I read an ISFJ description, I related to it immediately. I'm sure I also have a couple of ISFJ friends (which is why I read the description - it was what my friend got and I read it and thought... 'hey that's me!?')

[aestrivex]

tereg's description shows a clear preference for Fi. IMO delta NF is probably likely.

[Gilly]

I love being forthright and transparent about who I am and what I'm about and verbally processing these things with people as sounding boards.

Fi preference, probably strong.

I'm really interested in different perspectives and how different people can see the same thing in different lights,

I'm hesitant to prescribe this to Ne alone, but Ne-valuing people are almost always the ones who offer this kind of detail about themselves.

and really trying to understand motives and reasons people have for thinking and feeling the way they do (especially when they are perspectives that differ from mine). I make an effort to really, honestly understand people. I also make an effort to be flexible, warm, and easy-going with people (I consciously try to avoid conflict).

This sounds like Fi.

Simple and mundane things fascinate me.

Something more commonly heard from Ne/Si quadra types.

I don't like to gawk or stare at people in fear of being impolite or rude, but I like observing people and watching people and how they interact with one another. It's just so interesting to me.

Probably Ne+Fi.

Though I can be extremely wordy, when I say something, I make sure it has purpose.

Ethics?

I like close-knit, smaller, more intimate group settings.

Another point for Fi.

Larger groups do make me feel uncomfortable.

Weak Se, perhaps.

I'm kind of a goofball in my inefficiency. I pay great attention to detail, and I crave structure in task. I put a lot of energy into whatever it is that I do, and a lot of it gets wasted when I do simple tasks in weird orders.

Sounds like IxFj, but perhaps just Te Super-Id.

I have been apt to overwork myself at times, staying late to make sure things get finished properly (even if in my inefficiency that means it would take longer).

Weak Sensing.

When I choose to do something, it's because I desire to do it. I feel like I'm being disrespectful to others if I force myself to go somewhere but I don't want to really be there. I feel a great sense of inner conflict when what I desire differs from what I should do. So, I'm apt to being stubborn at times and not really listening to other people's advice when I should be listening to them.

This is Fi.

I'm a pack rat. I still keep mementos from my past. I'm very nostalgic and reminiscent and can be quite histrionic when remembering specific events from my past. I will often replay mistakes from my past in my mind over and over again. I really think I consciously do that (or originally chose to do that) because in some weird way, remembering it would prevent me from forgetting my mistakes and be able to learn from them. Unfortnuately, in doing that, I will often not learn from my mistakes but instead relive them. I remember specific dates, places, emotions, and senses from significant things from my past.

I don't like thinking about the future unless it's mapped out or framed in my mind. I have a hard time relaxing and just... letting things be. Being care-free is a quality that I admire in others.

Unvalued Ni, Super-Id Si.

I constantly try to evaluate what my strengths and weaknesses are and really try hard to work on those weaknesses bit by bit... it might take longer to achieve some things because of my stubbornness, but I really try to recognize and find ways to improve various areas of my life.

Valued Ne, perhaps.

There are times when I enjoy expressing myself (when I have the energy and desire to do it) through creative video blogs (on my YouTube page). I don't do typical video blogs, but rather try to add my own stamp to them. Some of the pictures above are straight from my video blogs. I don't make episodes all the time, maybe one every few months... but I enjoy expressing myself through it. My musical tastes are very diverse and they change depending on how I feel. I like using music to express things that I go through.

Actually, I wonder if maybe at work, the nature of my work demonstrates and when I'm away from work I tend to demonstrate socially and emotionally ?

Well, your work forces you to do things, and (let's hope) your social behavior is really more like the way you "naturally act," so social behavior is more relevant to type.


Delta NF all the way. By VI, I would have said IEE, but from what's here, EII does seem more likely.

[tereg]

hey joshua

I'm new to socionics and this forum as well, so I can't really offer much insight, but I just wanted to say hi and welcome

I'm jealous of your MBTI-exposed upbringing!

i'm a confused Ixxx, but I do relate to some of the things you've said:

Hey! I've been trying to go through your intro thread as well. I'll read a little bit at a time and then stop (probably because I anticipate reading 5 or 6 pages of posts), but I'll really try to contribute to your thread as well once I sit down and dedicate myself to your thread!

Thank you for your welcome.

yeah i'm interested in why you chose electrical engineering as your major?

When I answer this, it will actually spill out into career choice.

When I grew up, I was very strong with math and science. And I distinctly being young and openly wondering about the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question, asking what kind of things people do who are good at math and science. Someone said very early to me engineer, so I said, ok, I want to be an engineer. And then in high school that changed a bit, as I became more interested in C++ and computer science and programming.

My grandfather introduced me at a very young age to the world of computing and I have always enjoyed working with PCs both hardware-wise and software-wise.

When I was accepted at UT, I found out that they didn't accept computer science majors as freshman. I probably could have done a little bit more research and discovered they had a Pre-CS program, but instead, I fell back to my desire to be an engineer. I looked at the Electrical Engineering degree (with Computer engineering tech areas) and it seemed to be a great fit for me.

Once I started that major, I absolutely thrived. I had good friends who were CS majors and I quickly found out that I went the right way with my decision. I took a job as a grader and a proctor for a self-paced EE logic design class. It was a unique class because the structure was not a typical lecture from a professor. The way the students go through the class is they study the units on their own and when they need understanding they would come to one of the TAs/Graders/Proctors for assistance. And I loved that one-on-one teaching interaction. That was by far my favorite class to be a part of both as student and grader/proctor.

But as I went further along in my major, the concepts and theories really started to become tedious to me, and I really started to struggle. I had a hard time effectively applying principles to problems and I leaned too much on my study group to just get by. That really bothered me internally.

By the time I was a senior I had considered dropping the major and starting fresh, but some reasoned people convinced me otherwise to finish the degree because I was so close. I knew at that point that I was not willing to go into the engineering field for a career because even though it would pay great, I could not be an engineer because I felt like... almost like it would not be fair to the profession for me to do something that I couldn't contribute whole-heartedly to. "If I struggle like I do applying concepts to basic engineering problems, how am I going to be able to do this as an actual engineer?" was usually the question I would pose myself. During my time as an engineering student I was exposed to a lot of people in the industry and really got a good sense of what it was like being an engineer. And it just didn't seem to fit me.

Of course, that raised several eyebrows of my unwillingness to not be an engineer. Especially when I chose to work for Pizza Hut as a shift manager for a couple of years immediately following my graduation. That really made some people scratch their heads. Monetary gain is solely not enough of a justification for me to go into an industry. I feel like need to contribute on my end to my satisfaction in order to be a part of something. But, again, when people started to talk to me about what I "should" do with my career, I started to get agitated. I'd be like "I know! I know this doesn't make any sense, but I just can't do something if my heart isn't there." It still really bothered a lot of people, which in turn really bothered me that I couldn't help them to make sense of my decisions.

I know I'm getting a little bit beyond the scope of the question with all of this, but I probably should still explain how I got from Pizza Hut to my current job.

The Pizza Hut job appealed to me because of it's customer-service orientation. It really drove me, and it really stressed me out too. There were times when it was physically impossible for me to adequately serve the people that I was directly responsible for during my shifts. There were days I'd work when I'd have one driver and I was the only one in the store and I'd have to handle four calls, leaving three on hold and simultaneously have 3 tickets that were still waiting to be made. Those times were by far the most stressful for me because I disliked not being able to provide good customer service for paying customers.

I took pride in what I did. And I was really bothered with people who didn't care about their job or didn't pull their end of responsibilities. And the store was quickly falling that way, and I needed to change jobs. But, my internal moral dilemma was I did not feel good about leaving a store unless I felt like it was in stable condition. And I eventually was able to leave about 2 months after I originally had put in my 2 weeks notice.

My current job was my next job and I absolutely love it. I've always enjoyed doing freelance technical support for people who have problems with their computers. And this job fulfills my need for a warm, welcoming atmosphere and my need to contribute adequately.

I get vivid flashes from the past as well, but most of the time they're unwanted and I try to shut them down as soon as possible, so I guess we are different in that sense.

Do you ever do that thing where you remember something from the past, like a bad memory, and then you shake your head quickly and it goes away? I think you and I actually are not that different in this regard because I do that a lot. There are some things that I will consciously play out in my head, but usually they are things that have not happened yet and it usually happens when I want to apply some principle or lesson that I'm not that great at. Like if I need to be assertive in an upcoming meeting, I will play out variants in my head of things or phrases I need to say over and over. I might need to be more clear about my word "replay" because what I mean (as it relates to my past) is the same memory will occur frequently and I can instantly think of the entire situation, but I don't want to replay the entire scene, so I shake it off. I'll only "replay" it if I'm consciously trying to do something different in a memory from my past. That ends up being fruitless because, hey, I can't change the past.

I hope that clarifies my position a little bit.

You and your expressions look very different to mine, you seem much warmer and open and not afraid to express yourself (though I do do that raised eyebrow thing you do a lot, though my mouth isn't so expressive ). If you are an INFj, then purely from VI I doubt I am.

I love expressive facial expressions.

Here, I'll post my most recent video blog here (from March).

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di0tcLvYPDU[/youtube]

[aestrivex]

actually, from the pictures alone my guess would have been SEI given the unusual expressiveness, but this was overruled by the description, which seemed overwhelmingly Fi. after seeing that video, however, i'm not so sure (with regards to Fe/Fi).

[FDG]

What exactly do you mean by care-free?
(I'm inclined to think ENFp, but INFj is possible.)

What I mean by that is being able to do things without caring so much about what other people think about it. Unfortunately, some of the decisions I make are based on others' perception of the decision I would make.

I'll give you an example.

When I'm making an unprotected right turn from a red light or pulling out of a driveway and a car pulls up behind me. Instead of going when I feel safe to go, suddenly, I shrink that threshhold because I don't want that guy behind me to get pissed off and honk, maybe get out of his car and share a few words with me. So I sacrifice my own safety and necessity just so I can avoid making the other person pissed off.

Good, that's exactly what I was looking for. Basically weak Se, and probably unvalued. INFj seems perfectly suitable.

Geez, too easy. I've seen my ISFj gf being scared of other cars etc etc, and another ISFj I know doesn't even have a drivers license because she doesn't want to "risk" driving

[implied]

that scream was so shitty.

niffy, i would have also thought SEI from the pics alone (reminds me of pedro almodovar.) he looks like a guy i know whose type goes between some delta NF and alpha SF. i am pretty much never going to come to a concrete conclusion. the expressions match pretty exactly as well as the style of writing. so i'm interested in this guy's type.

[tereg]

after seeing that video, however, i'm not so sure (with regards to Fe/Fi).

Keep in mind that it's an artistic expression of who I am. I really had to stretch my face to be able to do a lot of those facial expressions. In candid photos, I'm not nearly as facially animated (Like the first three photos I posted).

I've been told that I look melancholy most of the natural time. Like there's always something I'm processing internally and it shows on my face.

[reyn_til_runa]

hellothere, i picked some of your quotes that seemed significant. please correct any of my errors. i went out on a few limbs just in an effort to understand some potential weaknesses, so i realize i may be completely wrong.

Fear that most of what I say here will be irrelevant

when you have these types of thoughts, is it more like you know, but won't admit to others, that your contributions are valuable, or is it that you really fear you have offered nothing valuable?

So I might just be reacting to something I don’t like about myself

what dont you like about yourself?

I love hanging out with a small group of my friends, even then I can feel lost and isolated.

ennegram type is obvious, fwiw. 4w5, SX first -- this longing to connect deeply, yet the fear that goes along with it, and the need to withdraw after feeling as if you've revealed too much of yourself?

Worried about dominating the group’s work too much

is this because you value their independent work ethics or because you have little confidence in what you offer?

I feel annoyed when others don't offer thoughts on the things I am saying, and just blindly agree. In large groups I get lost and I would be the last person nominated to be a leader by people who don't know me well.

go with me here
when you're in these large groups and "get lost" how would you describe your mood? how quickly do you plummet into despair as a result of not being able to connect with people on a satisfactory level?

I place such a huge importance on understanding other's actions because of the extent to which I am affected by the problems people cause.

i wonder if you mean: a. the actions affect you in tangible ways (like person A stole my pbj sandwich, therefore i am hungry) or (b.) there is so much sadness all around me, and sometimes the only worth i see in my self or in the world is in making this sadness beautiful. therefore, i will excuse most peoples' wrongdoings. why? because it makes me sad, and i want to feel sad to the extreme. when i feel sad to the extreme, i am better able to feel happy to the extreme. (do you relate?)

Anyway ergh I feel so about how much I've written, I could go on for ages talking about myself, but this might be enough for now. just one thing that bothers me about what I've written is the number of fullstops and short sentences I've used... I don't think I normally write like that, but I guess its the easiest way for me to describe myself. Thanks to anyone who bothered reading all this!

beholden to mood. sensitive to the ebb and flow of peoples emotions, try to understand them, but fear them, deeply desire connection with people, but are very selective about who you will attempt to connect with. it is a great risk to reveal oneself too personally. often it is better to say nothing at all, but the consequence but sometimes the urge to connect becomes too powerful, so you give in, and afterwards feel ashamed. (accurate or not? please advise).

I'm not sure I quite understood the question about activities, but I'll try to answer anyway

I notice a lot of disclaimers. is this to protect yourself from being wrong? I’m not sure if this is an example of Te Polr.

Also because 'slacking off' isn't consistent with how I perceive myself, so if someone told me I was doing it, I would initially have a hard time believing it.

of course. Because time (including being late/early) is meaningful . things happen, and you probably draw meaning from the spontaneous events, or from anything slightly out of the ordinary? Do you infuse ordinary/mundane things and experiences with meaning?

plantrootz, I think I would find that more fake and needy. Though (and I'm not sure if this is what you meant), I don't mind formal "introduce yourself" type things because it gives me an excuse to talk about myself and get to know other people.

– I do not like these introductions. I would rather people not even know my name unless I choose to tell them, if there is reason to. also, again i see this expression of uncertainty re: understanding the question.

munenori, I definitely identify with most of the INFj description (I only read the first link, though I will read the second after I post this). But then sometimes I wonder whether thats just what I'd like to be, or whether that's the kind of person I'd most admire. But like I said, I still like 'who I am", so its not necessarily inconsistent. thanks for the advice by the way

do you ever find that you have to convince yourself that you like who you are? Does telling people that you like who you are help convince you?

I would first roll my eyes and feel uncomfortable... though at the same time I would appreciate what they were trying to do.

what do you appreciate about what they’re trying to do?

plantrootz, i don't really get THAT annoyed... but I guess its just because if I turn up on time I feel disappointed that the other person didn't reciprocate the effort. Also, if it's a social thing, something that I am looking forward to, then other people being late just means I get to spend less time with them/

is the implication that they did not care about the activity, perhaps an activity you valued? Or that they do not care about you (or at least that there are more important /valuable things they would rather be doing)?

I can remember I had a really good idea and told the person responsible for that section of the work to include it... Then he sent me an updated version and my idea was not included, which was disappointing, but I did not pursue it further because I don't like telling people what to do.

I don’t see the connection between being disappointed and not saying anything because you don’t like telling people what to do. Not saying something because you fear your idea will be rejected/misunderstood sounds more likely. correct me if I am wrong. i am not trying to pick, just trying to understand.

I think what I said about "people have to accept each other more", might be a bit misleading and I kind of feel guilty for having said it.

are you concerned that you have pressured people to change how they are in order to superficially accept someone (because you said they should)? is this what bothers you or is it more that you dont like bossiness in any form? or perhaps you do not like any air of moral superiority?

i love it when i come across people like you in forums... usually it seem people can be very cold and indifferent to each other on internet forums .

– I don’t see how this can be Fe POLr.

(I will probably cringe at what I wrote just then in a few hours)

because you think it makes you appear (fill in the blank?) because you want to be liked, but don’t want to manipulate people into liking you? how can you tell when you are truly liked? What qualities might this person who truly likes you possess, and how would he/she express to you that you are liked?

So I bothered to look up what all these terms mean (PoLR, Hidden agenda), and I have to say this analysis is pretty consistent with me (I also have to say I'm a bit disappointed by the move away from INFp/INFj).

Full of irony .

Another thought: I spend an immense amount of time (basically whenever I'm alone) having conversations in my head. Not really conversations, but monologues. Explaining things (a lot about myself, but also about other random things) as if I was having a conversation with someone. Lost in thought I guess. However when I'm put in the middle of a social situation (which i'm not reluctant to be in, e.g. with my friends), I become very aware and observant. Does this say anything about S/N?

I do this all the time too. I think Ni is pretty clear for you although I wouldn’t say that based on this quote alone.

based on all the above, i would say INFp

[Gilly]

I actually wouldn't count IEI out completely because he reminds me a lot of Auvi. But I still think EII is more likely.

[implied]

I actually wouldn't count IEI out completely because he reminds me a lot of Auvi. But I still think EII is more likely.

auvi seems more melancholy/foppish/something. this guy seems more energetic.

[Gilly]

I'll agree to that. I'd even be willing to bet that Auvi wouldn't take any offense to being called foppish

[Mediator Kam]

I'll agree to that. I'd even be willing to bet that Auvi wouldn't take any offense to being called foppish

Though I assume tereg would take some sort of offense to being called a fop.

We need to ask him his preference on this matter.

[aestrivex]

woeth otr uo vxlax

[Mea]

VI alone, and also from the video, you remind of a ISFp-Fe friend of mine.

But overall, including the description... I dunno.

[Mediator Kam]

VI alone, and also from the video, you remind of a ISFp-Fe friend of mine.

But overall, including the description... I dunno.

Some of sounded like me, but the overall description fits into infj/infp in my opinion.

[tereg]

I'll agree to that. I'd even be willing to bet that Auvi wouldn't take any offense to being called foppish

Though I assume tereg would take some sort of offense to being called a fop.

We need to ask him his preference on this matter.

I think there's a bit of truth to me being a bit foppish. I do concern myself with how I appear to others in a physical sense. But I think I'm more concerned about it in the preparation rather than at the event. Once I'm at the event, it doesn't have nearly the same concern for me as it did in preparation. If something goes askew at the event, like say, a formal event and I spill some drink on myself or something like that, then my concern is immediately drawn to clearing up whatever it happens to be.

I guess, I'm not overly foppish at an event like "Is my tie on straight? Is my belt aligned properly? Does my shirt look pressed enough?" If someone points out something like that... "Hey, your fly's open." then it becomes an issue.

My foppishness is weighted in the preparation (out of the public eye), but in the public eye I don't want to appear overly concerned about such things.

[Gilly]

Not a sensor.

[Mea]

VI alone, and also from the video, you remind of a ISFp-Fe friend of mine.

But overall, including the description... I dunno.

Some of sounded like me, but the overall description fits into infj/infp in my opinion.

Yes. True. I think INFp is more likely than INFj imo. ISFp doesn't seem entirely right.

[Gilly]

Why Fe>Fi? Everything he wrote says the opposite.

[Mea]

Why Fe>Fi? Everything he wrote says the opposite.

Dunno about Fe or Fi, but his whole vibe just seems INFp > INFj.

I'm not that good at typing especially online. Just my POV.