Type my parents

[Ezra]

Yes, that's right, the people that bore and bread me.



Sorry it's such a shit photo. It was the only one I could find.

I don't know my dad very well. He's quite a private person, as many of you 4w5s, like him, on here can sympathise with. He doesn't like people who attempt to move him in some way i.e. in order to do housework. He used to hate the way my mum would "micro-manage" his life, and order him about. To be honest, I think he had/has a massive aversion to Se. He was shit at organising his spaces, and our kitchen used to be an extension of his office space (which was about a meter squared (no joke)). But he did like his gadgets (iPod, splash out on huge conversion to Apple from Windows because he was "pissed off" with Windows). We had a library, both of music and in books. He absolutely loves reading. He has a huge base knowledge, but he's not as skilled at reciting facts as my granddad. He likes to play wordgames and test our intellect and own knowledge. He probably got it from my other granddad, a 3, who is really, really task orientated. I think he may be an EIE, but I don't know.

I get on very well with my dad. The only problems we have is in prolonged contact with one another. Apparently, I turn everything I possibly can into an argument with him. I can have extensive conversations about the Enneagram, MBTT, philosophy, politics, history and other ideas with him, but we need our own space. I think he finds I can often come on too strong for him. My mum used to get really pissed off with his (her perceived) criticising her.

In social situations, he's very charming and diplomatic, and he can get people to like him quite easily. He doesn't like my blunt, matter-of-fact style, especially if he's trying to impress. He might nervously laugh it off or whatever, but we're rarely in that situation.



My mum has brought me up well. While my dad has given me an intellectual basis, my mum is on a totally different wavelength. She can often not relate to him at all. She says he's too in his head. She's very attuned to her surroundings, and whether or not she's comfortable. She'll walk in after work, and if she can't relax in "her" spaces, she'll boss everyone about until she can. My dad calls this "7 going to 1". We all used to get fed up of it, and we'd challenge her on it. But she'd always manage to sort it out using us.

She's a fun-lover, but not an adrenalin junkie. She loves to socialise and party, and she's very good at it. She likes gossip and trash TV, but isn't the cream of the British working class. She'll dress how she wants, and can go what I consider to be overboard in dress. She's got a very good sense of aesthetics and used to photograph a lot. Her style isn't like Minde's (which I personally prefer), because she prefers more rustic colours. Our aesthetic tastes have clashed quite a lot, and since I was about 8, I've been trying to grasp her style, and have made some progress, so that now I can predict what she will like and what she doesn't. She's a very sensual person come to think of it.

Recently, I introduced her to the functions. I had a little talk with her, and did the asshole and the drink test. She, I think, is Fi-valuing. I asked her her life goal, and she said it's to help people to realise themselves. She's a feminist, but not a hardline one, which is good. But for me and my dad she takes the piss sometimes.

If you want/need more specific info on any of them, I'll tell you what I can.

[Expat]

Your dad: LII. Difficult to see him as anything else.


Your mom: ESE, SEI or just possibly IEE. Si and Ne are the most obvious things.

[plantrootz]

dad - INTp
mom- ESFp

[Gilly]

Your mom sounds like a social version of mine. ESE works.

Your dad sounds like an Alpha NT. If he's a 4 or 5, LII is a better bet. He does look somewhat similar to heath.

[Ezra]

Ha. Interesting. I would've had him down as an ethical type. He is, after all, an INFP in MBTT.

[eunice]

Mom: ESE
Dad: LII

[Gilly]

Ha. Interesting. I would've had him down as an ethical type. He is, after all, an INFP in MBTT.

MBTI INFPs are rampant. My dad's one, too, and is an EII. Your relation with your dad actually sounds similar to mine.

[Expat]

Now that you mention it, I can see EII as a possible type for Ezra's dad; but I still think that LII is much more likely.

Some LIIs are quite "into" Fe and can indeed seem ethical types. For instance, Mariano Rajoy, whom I met in London. If you go for a simplistic ethical/logical dichotomy, he could easily be seen as an ethical type, far more so than Gilly, for instance (at least the way he was when I met Gilly).

Since LIIs can often appear "P" according to MBTI criteria, I guess an LII who's quite into Fe might appear INFP.

[implied]

agree with expat on both typings. i could see EII as a possibility with your da da, but overall he sounds more INTj to me.

[Ezra]

Could you really see an MBTT INFP as an LII? Don't you think that's a bit of a jump?

I personally think EII would fit better.

They've recently just separated after a twenty year marriage. Reason: they've got bored of each other, essentially.

[Joy]

Honestly, my first thought when I saw the pic of him was "NF... Delta NF"

[Ezra]

Honestly, my first thought when I saw the pic of him was "NF... Delta NF"

See, that does make sense to me. It also corresponds with his line of work.

[Slacker]

You know who he looks like to me . . .

John Corbett. Yeah? Or is it just me?

[Creepy-bg]

You know who he looks like to me . . .

John Corbett. Yeah? Or is it just me?

Northern Exposure was such a good show...

[Ezra]

He went to Ireland a while ago, and people stopped on the street because they thought he was:



Seriously, when he sticks his shades on, he looks like Bono.

[Ezra]

Right, someone help me identify what function is being used here. My mum has just replied to an email I sent her.

Just a slight nudge; did the woman your sgt maj commented on find it funny? Or was it more of a nervous response? I know, I can hear you groan at me being too analytical but I would just draw your attention to group dynamics/peer pressure/need to identify yourself with those in higher authority (especially in something as hierarchical as the army)/conform/be one-of-the-lads.....

Just be aware (as I know you so often are and probably tire of such conscientious self-consciousness) that there are many dynamics occurring both for you as an individual wanting/needing to remain in this institution for another n years but also within the Army; it works on creating certain moral climates and attitudes. Just recall how they have created and sustained teamwork and team spirit and keeping morale up on those cold week-end events. They have much experience in this (which you've already acknowledged will be very useful for you to learn and be able to apply in civvy street) but please don't join in with any scapegoating/marking out an individual in order to be 1 of the Boyz.

I'm sure you wouldn't or don't but your sgt maj's 'joke' at a young woman's expense (cause if her hair's anything like mine, an ordinary hairnet wouldn't hold it all in, it is too heavy also if she has any individuality about her and this is one way she could show that is that very wrong?) and your finding it hilarious just didn't sit comfortably with me.

Here's how I replied by the way.

You were right. I groaned metaphorically through the entirety of it. Even she found it funny. Yes, I realise exactly what the Army intends to do - model a kind of conformity, and I am comfortable with this. The way a commander is moulded is entirely in line with my own beliefs, and, after having read the core values (here), I'm sure you'll understand why, and perhaps even agree with me. It's directing my inherent skills and capabilities towards that which is healthy for me as an individual. So yes, I'd say it does allow one to retain a certain element of individuality, and it allows for those who are weaker in these values to build their strength in them so as to become better individuals in society. Just because they require a certain standard of outward appearance i.e. dress, doesn't mean that they want to annihilate someone's character in order to remould them completely. That isn't the aim, nor is it part of the Army's ethos. It is, fundamentally, a good institution. It aims to make people good people. It accepts nothing society wouldn't. Hence, scapegoating and bullying are frowned upon just as much as they are in society. Of course, there will be a level of playfulness, but no harshness is intended. It's like when you told me about the north and south senses of humour. The south plays oneupmanship, making witty but cutting comments, with intent of harm or damage to the other. The north jests and makes digs, but it's all in good humour. This never gets out of hand. If a CSM started bullying someone, as soon as the bullied went to a higher command, the CSM would be disgraced morally, and they would most likely be demoted for their behaviour. No one is willing to take that risk to satisfy their sadism or insecurities (which are built upon anyway). The root causes of things like bullying etc. are weeded out very early on in training, very simply to avoid this kind of thing. And I, as a potential officer, have even more responsibilities. We don't just need to follow those values in the link I sent you - there are more. We must set an example for the men under our command to follow. This is one of the three pillars of officership, so you can understand just how crucial it is.

[Gilly]

Your mum's writing does not say Alpha SF to me. The writing style is far more like yours than any Fe type whose letters I've read; she almost seems like a logical type. More formal-sounding that you'll get from most Fe types, except perhaps EIEs. If I had to pin her down, she sounds like a mix of you and my mother The types for her I would suggest after this would be IEE or....mmmm...mayb LSE, Si sub. Can't rule out Alpha SF altogether, of course, but this makes me lean away.

[Blaze]

Your mum's writing does not say Alpha SF to me. The writing style is far more like yours than any Fe type whose letters I've read; she almost seems like a logical type. More formal-sounding that you'll get from most Fe types, except perhaps EIEs. If I had to pin her down, she sounds like a mix of you and my mother The types for her I would suggest after this would be IEE or....mmmm...mayb LSE, Si sub. Can't rule out Alpha SF altogether, of course, but this makes me lean away.

yeah....sounded like Fi city to me. there's really no "mood" to her letter, it's more ethical relations sounding to me. so either Fi ego or Fi valuing. your mom VI's as more of an Fi type also. your dad's expression is pretty blank....he could be intj or intp.

[Ezra]

Your mum's writing does not say Alpha SF to me. The writing style is far more like yours than any Fe type whose letters I've read; she almost seems like a logical type. More formal-sounding that you'll get from most Fe types, except perhaps EIEs. If I had to pin her down, she sounds like a mix of you and my mother The types for her I would suggest after this would be IEE or....mmmm...mayb LSE, Si sub. Can't rule out Alpha SF altogether, of course, but this makes me lean away.

I very, very much doubt LSE. I think she's shit in Te, but she shows a preference for it over Ti, which makes me think IEE. Especially after talking to her. At first I thought Gamma SF, but I really think IEE is very likely now. I recently talked to her, and realised how much I didn't know her as a person. After asking some questions, I saw a lot of Fi, and I am almost positive she is an EP, so, in my eyes, it could only be SEE or IEE, because I am 99% sure she's an ethical type. At one point I thought that ESI wouldn't be too much of a long shot, but then it comes back to me: she's a 7w6, not a 6.