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Thread: receiving criticism vs receiving compliments

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    Default receiving criticism vs. receiving compliments

    I know people's answers will depend on what the criticism/compliment is, the person giving it, the situation, and other various factors, but generally speaking I think most people feel more comfortable accepting one than the other.

    State your type (if you want to) and whether you generally feel more comfortable accepting criticism or compliments. (Assume the compliment is sincere.)
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    I'm honestly more comfortable accepting criticism than compliments. Compliments feel awkward.

    (Of course, this is not to say that I like receiving criticism and don't like receiving compliments from time to time.)
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    I prefer neither. I find compliments embarassing, and criticism embittering.
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    I'm not confortable accepting criticism in a bad tone.

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    compliments be damned. i absolutely hate it when people compliment me for something i don't deserve. when its legitimate, i sort of shrug it off uneasily.

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    I'm better at receiving compliments so long as the compliments seem to be genuine and not manipulative. I am not very good at receiving criticism. I'd much rather receive neither than receive criticism plus get loads of compliments.
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    I'm great at receiving compliments when they are sincere. I got my hair cut dramatically recently and I've been getting literally dozens of effusive comments from everyone. I love them and I accept them easily. Criticism....well, it totally depends on the delivery and if it's from someone I respect. Really depends on the situation and what the criticism is about. You know, if it's regarding my polr, probably I don't receive it as well. If it's just like "your socks don't match, you look ridiculous" then I will laugh and say "so what?" or "I meant to do that". Whatever.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    I got my hair cut dramatically recently and I've been getting literally dozens of effusive comments from everyone.
    That happened to me once.

    However, looking back, it was sorta bad. I cut it short and dyed it blonde... My hair is too brassy for blonde, and my skin is too rosey. Oh well. It was a fun change at the time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    I'm great at receiving compliments when they are sincere. I got my hair cut dramatically recently and I've been getting literally dozens of effusive comments from everyone. I love them and I accept them easily. Criticism....well, it totally depends on the delivery and if it's from someone I respect. Really depends on the situation and what the criticism is about. You know, if it's regarding my polr, probably I don't receive it as well. If it's just like "your socks don't match, you look ridiculous" then I will laugh and say "so what?" or "I meant to do that". Whatever.
    Pretty much the same here.

    I especially can't stand insults to my intelligence. Any criticism delivered with a cold or haughty tone usually gets my ire up right quick. I know I'm not stupid. If something actually *matters* to me, I'll put the effort into learning it, and learn it thoroughly. If not, get off my back, you're not the boss of me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aka-kitsune

    I especially can't stand insults to my intelligence. Any criticism delivered with a cold or haughty tone usually gets my ire up right quick. I know I'm not stupid. If something actually *matters* to me, I'll put the effort into learning it, and learn it thoroughly. If not, get off my back, you're not the boss of me.
    Or as my six-year-old son would say "you're not the boss of me saying 'you're not the boss of me'"
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I prefer neither. I find compliments embarassing, and criticism embittering.
    Me too.
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    i don't mind criticism if i asked for it or if they offer it uninvited but really want to help, not trying to put you down. Otherwise I do find it annoying.

    I've gotten better at compliments, they used to make me really embarrased but now if I agree with it then I say "thank you" and move on.

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    I'm more comfortable to accepting criticism in general because I can tell if it's fair or not - but with compliments...it's a bit of a minefield - I never seem to make a satisfactory response (I guess it catches me off guard).
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    I rarely get compliments and don't even remember the last time anyone criticized anything about me or anything I've done. Too many compliments from someone will make me think it's fake.
    I actually do mind criticism unless it's something very trivial that I should have known in the first place. I'm very much a person that's always right in anything I do so criticism towards me can, and has been a bad thing for people at times.
    As hypocritical as it may sound I do give a lot of compliments and criticism to others. Luckily I'm not socially ignorant though and most times when I do criticize something I do it in a way where I can't piss a person off even if they should be.

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    Hmm.. this is certainly a tough'un. A lot of it depends on the motivation behind the compliment/criticism and what exactly is being complimented or criticised. If it's something I'm quite sensitive about, then I usually react well to compliments, I take on board constructive criticism (and am unoffended by such), although I'd probably be secretly hurt if the criticism was either unjustified (in my mind) and/or unconstructive (e.g. "I think that's crap"). For things I'm less concerned about.. eh, I'm generally indifferent to either. Sometimes a surprise compliment can catch me off guard though. An example from a private forum where me and an (AFAIK) ISTp friend do a lot of silly posting and roleplays, etc.:

    (this was during a themed word game)
    Me: Came like a truncated camel
    ISTp friend: At first I looked up truncated and thought "eh, what the hell's a truncated camel got to do with.." and then suddenly understood it.
    Me: I thought it was pretty clever meself.
    ISTp friend: It WAS clever. You're a wizard with words fyi.

    I remember that last post really caught me off guard, it was sort of surprise and amazement that I'd actually be considered to be in some way above average when playing around with words. I dunno.. it's hard to describe, but I remember my next post involved some great mental splurge as I vocalised me trying to figure out my reaction to that. It's very rare I have this sort of reaction to a compliment though.. actually, come to think of it, it's the only time I recall it happening.
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    I have no preference for either, they just need to be merited.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dee
    i think this has to do do with the amount of pride a person has and how realistic is his or her judgment of the received AT LEAST AS WELL.
    Yes. The more proud one is, the more difficult it will be for him/her to receive criticism.
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    .

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    I like sincere compliments (as long as they're not creepy), but it's still uncomfortable because I don't know how to respond.
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    Creepy-Diana

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    .

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    I love compliments, and I like to get constructive criticism.
    Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.

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    I want people be straightforward and tell me exactly how they feel, be it compliments or criticism. I prefer sincere compliments and constructive criticisms. I feel uneasy when someone compliments me too much and it could lead me to doubting their sincerity. Excessive criticisms and personal attacks make me feel depressed and doubt my talents, abilities and self-worth. Therefore, I would appreciate a balance between both, which I guess is impossible to achieve.

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    i was always horrible at taking compliments all the way up to my teens...it started changing slowly around 18...now i can take them graciously i just have to put a lot of effort into a Fe response to make it known i appreciated the compliment. thats what makes it awkward, having to thank the person and make them feel good for trying to make ME feel good...its weird.


    criticism ALL TEH WAI. constructive prefered =P
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    your new avatar is creepy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    your new avatar is creepy

    i find it erotic and sensual
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    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    your new avatar is creepy

    i find it erotic and sensual
    you would

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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    your new avatar is creepy

    i find it erotic and sensual
    Ditto. And just plain cool.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
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    In a group/public I feel awkward when receiving either. I immediately doubt the sincerity of the compliment (i.e. what is this person's motive? are they for real?) and if criticized in a non-constructive way I remember it for a long time, may even hold a grudge and/or make an arrogantly sarcastic comment that goes over the top. I don't like being in the spotlight among people I don't know well.
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