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Thread: INFjs in relationships with Se ego types

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    Default INFjs in relationships with Se ego types

    I know a number of EIIs who find themselves in relationships with Se ego types. It is somewhat disappointing because in many situations the EII gets the raw end of the deal, but in return gets loyalty and possessiveness and a sense of security (?) from the Se type. It seems to play well in terms of the EII's natural empathy and tendency to be exploited and still deal with things anyways.

    I know of:

    LSI + EII (female)
    SEE + EII (female)
    ESI + EII (male)



    The SEE + EII one is the worst, it seems, though the LSI + EII one is close behind. They are extremely faithful, the EIIs, but it is internally very disappointing for me to see someone who has so much to offer commit themselves to such bad situations.

    Granted, EIIs are not exactly "the dominant force" in the relationship.

    The only other EII couple I know (or remember right now) is LSE + EII (female), and they have a legendary relationship and family. Now obviously there is a lot more going on than mere socionics type here, for certain.


    But I want to know if you have seen EIIs with Se types in general, and you have observe their relationships.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Default Re: EII + Se ego types

    Quote Originally Posted by Courage
    They are extremely faithful, the EIIs, but it is internally very disappointing for me to see someone who has so much to offer commit themselves to such bad situations.
    The hypocricy of your logic is that it is also very disappointing for LSIs, SEEs and ESIs who also have so much to offer commit themselves to EIIs. Why do you assume EIIs can offer more to their relationships than other types? Deltas may put EIIs on pedestals - but it doesn't mean that you can categorically state that they are better than other types. LSIs, SEEs and ESIs are extremely faithful too.
    ISTj.

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    Default Re: EII + Se ego types

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
    Quote Originally Posted by Courage
    They are extremely faithful, the EIIs, but it is internally very disappointing for me to see someone who has so much to offer commit themselves to such bad situations.
    The hypocricy of your logic is that it is also very disappointing for LSIs, SEEs and ESIs who also have so much to offer commit themselves to EIIs. Why do you assume EIIs can offer more to their relationships than other types? Deltas may put EIIs on pedestals - but it doesn't mean that you can categorically state that they are better than other types. LSIs, SEEs and ESIs are extremely faithful too.
    Amen.


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    Am I the only one who has absolutely no idea what Courage is talking about?
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    Default Re: EII + Se ego types

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
    Quote Originally Posted by Courage
    They are extremely faithful, the EIIs, but it is internally very disappointing for me to see someone who has so much to offer commit themselves to such bad situations.
    The hypocricy of your logic is that it is also very disappointing for LSIs, SEEs and ESIs who also have so much to offer commit themselves to EIIs. Why do you assume EIIs can offer more to their relationships than other types? Deltas may put EIIs on pedestals - but it doesn't mean that you can categorically state that they are better than other types. LSIs, SEEs and ESIs are extremely faithful too.
    It is not hypocrisy, maguoo, it is perspective. This is the real world, people have different perspectives than you do.




    I am not saying they are better than other types, I am coming at it from one perspective. This is not about being faithful.
    It is about the quality of relationships that EIIs find themselves with and who they are with in those relationships

    Feel free to start one about whatever type you want - but this one is about EIIs, so deal with it.


    The point is, it seems EIIs are drawn to 's assertiveness and confidence, but they really do not handle it well. It seems more like something they just tolerate. In the cases above, I would not say that the EII is happy in those relationships - obviously both parties are faithful. But as for the quality of the relationships, it seems something the EII is sticking out because of its own morality, rather than actually enjoying what is going on.


    Now I know people are going to be up in arms saying I am glorifying EIIs, which is not true. If they were smarter they would have more balls and make better relationships choices from the beginning instead of hanging on to something that is not working. They would stop playing the victim so much, or the martyr. The Se people, IN THESE SITUATIONS, seem to inherently treat the EII like a victim, but this just seems to cause them stress and tension. At least 2 of the Se people I mentioned are not of a good quality of character (which is not socionics related), so that seems to further this cycle of martyrdom + exploitation.

    So I am not saying all Se types are horrible for EIIs - no.
    I am saying that an unhealthy Se ego type + an unhealthy EII (maybe even healthy? sometimes) seems like a common pairing IME, and it is one that does not seem to run smoothly.


    It was a tendency I noticed here - I am wondering if it is something in other people have noticed. Apparently not.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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