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Thread: Convincing the ISFp

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    PotatoSpirit's Avatar
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    Default Convincing the ISFp

    Hi! I just realized I can never get ISFps to do what I want, unless they already have their mind set on doing it. I'm thinking it's my ego Se clashing with their Id Se. Or maybe my lack of Ne.
    Any practical suggestions? Ok, ok, I'll settle for some random comments too.
    LSI

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    ISFps can be notoriously stubborn. They won't necessarily say anything verbally--they may even lead you to believe that they will do what you asked them to do but then they find a way around it if they don't feel like doing it. And the excuses they come up with! Ugh, don't even get me started. It's like whatever they do has to be their own idea and on their own schedule. I like them, but I'm really frustrated with one right now.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    ISFps can be notoriously stubborn. They won't necessarily say anything verbally--they may even lead you to believe that they will do what you asked them to do but then they find a way around it if they don't feel like doing it.
    I agree with this. They may *pretend* to agree. (just to get people to shut up )

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    ISFps can be notoriously stubborn. They won't necessarily say anything verbally--they may even lead you to believe that they will do what you asked them to do but then they find a way around it if they don't feel like doing it.
    I agree with this. They may *pretend* to agree. (just to get people to shut up )
    Yup. They either don't say anything or might nod or something. Or use the word "probably" in their promise to do something. But if it doesn't suit or the timing isn't right, forget about it. And I'm not talking about a teenager either. This is a middle-aged SEI who should know better. grrr
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    PotatoSpirit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    ISFps can be notoriously stubborn. They won't necessarily say anything verbally--they may even lead you to believe that they will do what you asked them to do but then they find a way around it if they don't feel like doing it.
    I agree with this. They may *pretend* to agree. (just to get people to shut up )
    Oh you guys are spot on! This is probably what really bugs me about them sometimes, more than the inability to convince them. I could take a clear-cut "no" much better.
    LSI

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    ISFps can be notoriously stubborn. They won't necessarily say anything verbally--they may even lead you to believe that they will do what you asked them to do but then they find a way around it if they don't feel like doing it.
    I agree with this. They may *pretend* to agree. (just to get people to shut up )
    Oh you guys are spot on! This is probably what really bugs me about them sometimes, more than the inability to convince them. I could take a clear-cut "no" much better.
    But they are fundamentally UNABLE to say NO. Of their own admission. It's ridiculous. Just TELL me that you don't want to do it. Just say it and I will stop bothering you. But if you ACT like you want to, you're being disingenuous and confusing. UGH.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    PotatoSpirit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    But they are fundamentally UNABLE to say NO. Of their own admission. It's ridiculous. Just TELL me that you don't want to do it. Just say it and I will stop bothering you. But if you ACT like you want to, you're being disingenuous and confusing. UGH.
    (c:
    LSI

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    wow ya'll make isfp's sound kind of passive agressive or something...

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    wow ya'll make isfp's sound kind of passive agressive or something...
    well....the one I know is. Not saying they all are.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    wow ya'll make isfp's sound kind of passive agressive or something...
    well....the one I know is. Not saying they all are.
    yeah i know goes without saying. i just don't know any so i feel compelled to understand them enough to be able to identify them since they're my dual.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    I agree with everything that was said here. As an ISFP, I can't say no because I am insanely worried about how people view me, and if I say no, people won't like me as much because I am not "agreeable". So even if I absolutely do not want to do something, my need to make the other person happy overrides my own will.

    And yeah, my mother tells me I'm stubborn, lol.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    PotatoSpirit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir
    And yeah, my mother tells me I'm stubborn, lol.
    So, since you are here, (c: what can make you change your mind? Some behavior, some argument? Or is it just impossible, if you don't agree from the very beginning?
    LSI

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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    hmm, i've never thought of it that way, but if someone (meaning a fellow student) approaches me with something I totally disagree with, my values system kicks in, so I won't do it.

    But if it's remotely agreeable and not embarrasing or painful, I'll probably do it.

    With my parents, they're different than my friends in how I act, so I play an entirely different card with them, so I'm more stubborn with them. I'm not sure why it's like that though.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    yomama
    Last edited by betterthandead; 08-02-2008 at 04:52 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit
    Hi! I just realized I can never get ISFps to do what I want, unless they already have their mind set on doing it. I'm thinking it's my ego Se clashing with their Id Se. Or maybe my lack of Ne.
    Any practical suggestions? Ok, ok, I'll settle for some random comments too.
    well with me, you got to convince me or give me a good reason to want to do it (good luck with that :wink: ). Sometime it will work if the person put alittle effort (using feelings/emotion) of making me feel guilty. Maybe it an ISFP thing. But I tend to do what they want, (more) depending how much I like the person or avoid conflict.


    I don't like to plain out say no. If I really don't want to, I tell them the reason why or give hints I really don't want to do what they ask. If I say I would do it, I will. Just, I tend to take along time to do it or people view it being lazy. But I don't promise people I would do in want they want.
    ISFP, SEI

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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    yeah, i get all "smarty" or rhetorical when i don't want to do something rather than outright saying it.

    btw i get into manic episodes where I will just go off on a tangent talking about some obscure thing or something someone, analyzing it from all sides. que extraño.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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