Why are so many ENTj women single?

[mr_maguoo]

I've noticed this around, and I think it's been observed by others in this forum that there are a lot (relative to other types) of ENTj girls around who are single even though they are reasonably good looking and intelligent (I think ENTjs are more intelligent than other types on the whole). Does anyone know why?

[Megan]

Hmmm I don't know any ENTj girls but there's an ENTj guy at my school that comes off as extremely arrogant. I don't think he realizes it, or means to, but he's disliked by alot of people.

I can't say I know a lot of ENTjs closely but I do know quite a few of them professionally. Generally, I am a fan of ENTj women. I think they are usually far less arrogant than a lot of the men are. Nearly all the ENTj women I have known were very independent in thought and action, career oriented, very busy and seemed somewhat masculine probably because they tend to lack the softness and eye-lid batting behavior that women are suppose to have and they often do dress quite poorly or just inappropriately too which perhaps does not add to their attractiveness. A lot of men tend not to be into women with these types of traits and it gets worst if they are of the bossy, domineering kind. I knew of one female cardiologist who was a very bright ENTj, single and in her forties at the time. She committed suicide for reasons that were not clear but I just remember that hardly any of the people she worked with was sad about her passing I think they would have celebrated her demise if they could do so "appropriately". Apparently she was very mean, rude and unpleasant particularly when the surgery was going wrong and she felt like people were not pulling their weight enough. For some reason the males that she worked with seem especially unsympathetic to what happened to her. Generally though I think they were the kind of men that wished all women were still in the kitchen cooking their little hearts out instead of being in charge of them.
Then I know of another ENTj woman who is very pleasant, positive, always willing to share her knowledge and feminine looking... very into short skirts and high heels but somehow manages to pull it of without looking trashy. I don't know why she is single to be honest, she can be slightly bossy I guess but not overly so and some men like that anyway. I also think a lot of ESTj women end up single too but they are generally a little better at doing the whole soft, feelery traditional woman thing as they are more in touch with society's expectations etc.

[FDG]

I know two of them, of my age. They are both hot and smart, and friendly too. Everybody tends to assume that they already have a boyfriend, or that if they don't, that they have no chance to get them. So they have to make the first move. It's not that guys are scared, it's just that they tend to think they're already taken.

The same reasoning applies to some ENTj males that I know too.

[Ezra]

Because they are waiting for the perfect lover.

[Joy]

Good observations Megan and FDG.

Most men think they're interested in whatever attractive and interesting woman they come in contact with, but it seems they're not interested in/able to handle it when it turns out that an intense, independent, and business minded woman who demands the utmost loyalty and trustworthiness in a relationship is actually interested in making things happen (which ultimately means she wants things to be serious right away, and she's not willing to giggle and act all girly to make it happen). They're not ready for that type of relationship she wants, and probably never will be. (ESI's, on the other hand, seem to be born ready for that type of relationship with that type of person.)

Speaking only for myself, I haven't spent much time alone. With a Fi dual seeking function, it seems that if I am present with an opportunity to be with an IJ who is intelligent, interesting, and trustworthy, I have a hard time seeing why I shouldn't go for it. And those opportunities have seemed to present themselves pretty readily when I am not in a relationship with anyone already. It could just be a fluke though, because it's only happened a few times.

[FDG]

Good observations Megan and FDG.

Most men think they're interested in whatever attractive and interesting woman they come in contact with, but it seems they're not interested in/able to handle it when it turns out that an intense, independent, and business minded woman who demands the utmost loyalty and trustworthiness in a relationship is actually interested in making things happen (which ultimately means she wants things to be serious right away, and she's not willing to giggle and act all girly to make it happen).

IDK, Joy. From a males perspective, and knowing what males say to each other, it seems like we are more unsure of having any chances, rather than feeling like we "can't handle it" or "we're not interested". The reactions that the two friends that now are with the ENTJ women received when they communicated that the girl had hit on them were on the line of "WTF LUCKY BASTARD DIE", and the friends were like "LoL I actually thought she was joking and messing with me at first".

[Joy]

Yes, that has been my experience as well... but there are a lot of guys that act interested and then when you show then that you're interested, too, they seem happy at first, but then don't act promptly, don't respond properly, and/or change their minds.

[Khamelion]

They don't like being hit on, and that is the way most people go about mating. Generally.

[liveandletlive]

My boss is a single, femal ENTj... i think that so many ENTj women are single because if u think about it (ow that must've hurt lol jk) guys tend to hit on girls that are obvious. Obviously pretty, obviously girly, and obviously (well most likely) will accept their advances. Why? Because no one likes rejection and ure most likely going to do something if the chances of ur actions making it happen are in your favor. ENTj women are: a)extremely intimidating and b) wanting the guy to be their bitch... thus, scaring guys away. But yeah i pretty much think it's the whole obvious thing on the part for the boys.

[Expat]

ENTjs, both male and female, are often single (in the sense of not in a long-term relationship) at late stages in their lives, I've seen several examples. The same goes for ISFjs, but they are more likely to enter and leave relationships rather than not enter one at all.

It's the Ni + Fi combination in the quadra, plus rationality. They are already thinking, "is it going to work in the longer-term", or "where is that going to lead to?" or "ok, but it's going to be a short-term thing". They do not start relationships in a "let's have fun now and worry about the future later" way.

So, they either remain single very often or very long - for reasons that Ezra summed up well - or they see the "perfect partner" too often or too quickly.

[Joy]

Except both of the ENTj females on the site have complained that they get hit on regularly.

There are actually 3 of us, but yes.

?

[Ezra]

Thunder, Joy and... who else?

[Slacker]

I agree with what Expat said. I think ENTjs can see potential faults in a relationship right away and sometimes think it isn't worth the trouble to start a relationship that isn't going to go well anyway. I also wonder if ENTjs don't always end relationships well. Like they might cling to the old relationship a bit too long after it's ended, and it's hard to start a new relationship in that circumstance.

[Expat]

I also wonder if ENTjs don't always end relationships well. Like they might cling to the old relationship a bit too long after it's ended, and it's hard to start a new relationship in that circumstance.

I don't think that's a correct understanding of what happens.

That reasoning seems to assume that the ideal situation is to be in some relationship, and if the ENTj isn't starting a new one it's because s/he's still "clinging" to the old one.

My personal view is that ENTjs - and perhaps ISFjs - never totally "get over" relationships that were meaningful to them, especially if there were issues that baffled their Fi. That doesn't mean, though, that they wouldn't be ready to start a meaningful relationship with someone else - should one become a possibility.

[discojoe]

Because ISFjs won't ask you out.

[lefty]

I've noticed this around, and I think it's been observed by others in this forum that there are a lot (relative to other types) of ENTj girls around who are single even though they are reasonably good looking and intelligent (I think ENTjs are more intelligent than other types on the whole). Does anyone know why?

Men probably find them to be immasculating. I dont know what their percentage of the population is vs. their dual or semi dual. Well I know their semi-dual is very very rare (infj).

lefty
ENFJ
4w5

[FDG]

Men probably find them to be immasculating.

This notion is nosensical, too. The masculinity of somebody doesn't change relatively to the girl he's dating.

[lefty]

Men probably find them to be immasculating.

This notion is nosensical, too. The masculinity of somebody doesn't change relatively to the girl he's dating.

I think ENTJs are hardasses and many men wouldn't know how to respond to it. Also...why dont you get a hobby instead of following my posts instead of deconstructing them. Also keep trying because you almost made your own statement here, but not quite.

lefty
enfj
4w5

[FDG]

Men probably find them to be immasculating.

This notion is nosensical, too. The masculinity of somebody doesn't change relatively to the girl he's dating.

I think ENTJs are hardasses and many men wouldn't know how to respond to it. Also...why dont you get a hobby instead of following my posts instead of deconstructing them. Also keep trying because you almost made your own statement here, but not quite.

lefty
enfj
4w5

I think many of your posts stand out in being extremely untruthful, so it's kind of my duty to debunk them. Moreover, I work from home, so I always have internet open.

[Slacker]

I also wonder if ENTjs don't always end relationships well. Like they might cling to the old relationship a bit too long after it's ended, and it's hard to start a new relationship in that circumstance.

I don't think that's a correct understanding of what happens.

That reasoning seems to assume that the ideal situation is to be in some relationship, and if the ENTj isn't starting a new one it's because s/he's still "clinging" to the old one.

My personal view is that ENTjs - and perhaps ISFjs - never totally "get over" relationships that were meaningful to them, especially if there were issues that baffled their Fi. That doesn't mean, though, that they wouldn't be ready to start a meaningful relationship with someone else - should one become a possibility.

It's just an observation from outside - that's what it looks like to me, but you're right, it's very likely that I just misunderstand.

[Forest-Dragon]

As with all Gamma threads, I've been tracking this topic with some interest. I believe there's an element of truth in most of the comments that have thus far surfaced. In summarised form, I think the reasons would be as follows:

LIEs are also not inclined to approach others for fear of disturbing them, but may be uncomfortable with others approaching them

Weak and

They are already thinking, "is it going to work in the longer-term", or "where is that going to lead to?" or "ok, but it's going to be a short-term thing". They do not start relationships in a "let's have fun now and worry about the future later" way.

As Expat said, and plus

They are waiting for the perfect partner

An extension of the above, if you replace perfect with 'the best compatability' - the relationships that are most likely to work longer term is where you have this compatibility

Very independent in thought and action, career oriented, very busy

EXTj temperament

Seem somewhat masculine probably because they tend to lack the softness and eye-lid batting behavior that women are suppose to have

I'd put this down as and POLR. The stereotypical female is both sharing and caring () and practical () - ie. your typical ISFj.

Dress quite poorly or just inappropriately too which perhaps does not add to their attractiveness

Again, weak and
(I'd just like to say that I personally find this is hilarious . Evidently our attempts at faking good taste through overly conservative dressing aren't working)

Everybody tends to assume that they already have a boyfriend

I'm not quite sure what function this relates to, but it is generally true in my personal experience.

Not willing to giggle and act all girly to make it happen

Contradicts directly against

ENTj women are: a) extremely intimidating and b) wanting the guy to be their bitch... thus, scaring guys away

I'm not quite sure about the truth of either points as perceived by non-ESFp types. However, as Thunder pointed out, most ENTjs want an equal relationship at least ( and estimative , I suspect). The chauvinistic in society may not be able to handle this when it's coming from a woman, as Joy said.
(@liveandletlive: The comment was GOLD )

Finally, I believe that ENTjs of both genders are quite happy to have their personal life settled ‘one day’ if there is business/other useful pursuits/monetary success to attend to.

As always, feel free to disagree

[Forest-Dragon]

Yes, I don't reply often because I know that when I do I end up taking extra time that should be spent working. Time = Money

[Forest-Dragon]

Who are the male ENTjs anyway? Obviously Expat, but who else?

[FDG]

Who are the male ENTjs anyway? Obviously Expat, but who else?

Eidos, who I haven't seen posting for ages. I can't think of any others (at least that I would agree with), but I may have forgotten someone.

Ahem.

I'm not quite sure what function this relates to, but it is generally true in my personal experience.

I supposed many of them did not realize this, but the 3 I know are definitely in the top 5th percentile in terms of physical attractivness. Add to this the fact that they're smart, and that they're extroverted (which tends to make us males suppose that the girl is able to get the boyfriend she wants); you get a picture of a girl that:

1)The last things she wants is to be approached by you
2)If she really wanted to, she could snap her fingers towards you and make you make the first move

This impression is widely shared so it's not just a fantasy of mine. Oh yeah, the fact that they are always busy moving around doesn't make them an easy target either, simply because it's harder to find a moment in which you can approach.

[ENTJ-ALL-THE-WAY]

The answer is:
ENTJ girls simply are not very feminine.

Femininity is attractive, in a, well, female...

[Joy]

Edios is SLE, imo.

[FDG]

Edios is SLE, imo.

Do you realize now how this is becoming silly? You're muting all the ENTjs into SLEs after you've become ENTj.

[Joy]

Edios is SLE, imo.

Do you realize now how this is becoming silly? You're muting all the ENTjs into SLEs after you've become ENTj.

Like who?

[Expat]

I met Eidos once, about a year ago - or maybe more like two years - and I could see him as Ni-LIE, although, especially from his forums personality, I wouldn't rule SLE out.