Encouragement vs Tough Love vs Protection

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Help me out here. I give the impression in some situations, because I'm socially quiet, that people either need to encourage me to do things, or poke fun of me for not doing them. But honestly I don't want either of that. I simply want to be protected of something I don't really want to do, and something that I know won't bring me happiness. And no, sometimes I don't know this either and sometimes I should have listened when I didn't and sometimes you just don't really know until you try, but it's not really about that. It's about what makes me think highly of you and value you.

How can you logically get people to understand that you like to be protected? Are you just fucked if they're not one that likes to ahem protect?

Saying "I can do something" or "Don't be scared of it" when it's not fear as much as it is indifference and apathy. And if you just outright insult me or tell me to 'toughen up' I won't respect you either. But if you rescue me AWAY from what is bothering me, and shelter me with it, I will admire you so fucking much you won't even know.

But that's not being brave is it? Staying safe somewhere in a sanctuary, but it brings me so much happiness and a real, positive inner peace. Not some detached, lifeless Buddhism-esque peace (sorry but I think Buddhism sucks ass) but a real, upbeat kind of happiness. Upbeat about being naturally downbeat, I guess you could say.

So with that said, what type I am and who is my dual. I'm trying to be as honest as possible here.

[Blaze]

you sound like an Se valuing type. prolly beta. enfj or infp. your dual has the protector instinct as an estp or istj.

[UDP]

What types have you been considering?

Did you used to type yourself as INFp?

[force my hand]

I'm just curious - when you say you want to be protected, what kind of context are you referring to? Daily routine? New experiences? Tasks at work/school? Life at large?

[UDP]

^ that is to say, every type needs to be "protected" in a certain way.


I have heard an LSI comment about how it needed to know if its SO was going to "cover me". In that context, it meant that the LSI wanted someone who it could trust to talk to and open up to, someone who would respect its needs and wants for how a relationship would be, someone who would act in a way that was conscientious enough for the LSI to feel comfortable trusting it. And yet that LSI very much is an aggressor erotic role

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I'm talking about I'd like people to simply do things for me that I don't want to do without questioning any ulterior motive or sensing any 'weakness' in me just accepting what it is. I would just want a sort of calm acceptance without them making a big fuss of it. I want them to enjoy this to, of course, I'm not much of a sadist, honestly! I don't want them to be fed up with me and then say "You know what Sam? I'm tired of you acting like this all the time. You're not a baby."

I don't want people to treat me less than but just accept this facet about myself. They still better admire the things I'm better than them at, you'betcha. I get deeply annoyed when people step on MY territory.

And please don't confuse this too much with aggressive/passive, leader/follower roles. I am actually the leader in most relationships, I have always conflicted with authority and power figures because we both think we know what's right, and I also love to argue. If I am not on top of the social food chain I am really upset at myself. I can't just be like, in the middle. I always have to be on top being like a powerful celebrity or on the bottom like a misunderstood outsider. I know there is great power in all roles.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I'm glad you can relate to what I'm talking about! It's the thing that gives me trouble with relationships the most.

[Animal]

I'm not really sure about Beta NF.

This sounds like possibly Infantile romantic attitude (also weak Ni):

I simply want to be protected of something I don't really want to do, and something that I know won't bring me happiness.

Also, he tends to randomly go into long monologues about himself in threads that have nothing to do with him. In these instances, he doesn't deal directly with the subject of the thread, but instead goes about it in a roundabout way by making himself subject and the topic the object and expounding (pretty strongly) on his attitude towards it (probably strong Ti).

Like here: http://the16types.info/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15758

And here: http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...hlight=#284889

And here: http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...hlight=#280221

And here (this one reads like valued Fe, but not much awareness of his own): http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...hlight=#274622

Also lots of pulling together of odd, random ideas/facts in his posts for humor (strong Ne). Like in his post about Martha Stewert: http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...hlight=#284892

The only type I can see working, really, is ENTp, most likely Ne-subtype. Try reading his posts and NOT seeing NeTi all over the place.