Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Bouncing back from tragedy

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    USA.
    TIM
    INTj
    Posts
    4,497
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Bouncing back from tragedy

    I would like to hear some examples on how different types deal with things that devastate them emotionally

    I am currently in a situation I would rather not be in and frankly cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. Usually I am VERY good at this.. but I think since I am aging I think I have less and less optimism.. I do seem to be good at seeing it for others.. a recent example: telling an ISTj that it's not a failure that counts but how you react to it; seemed to help her. Now, I think this could work for myself but I think it has to have some kind of rational basis.. I also think I have trouble having confidence unless I have some kind of path to follow.

    How do you a) handle yourself in tough times and b) how do you get through it?

  2. #2
    Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Beyond the blue horizon
    TIM
    SLI
    Posts
    13,088
    Mentioned
    164 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can GET hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward." - Rocky Balboa
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  3. #3
    Elro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Not here
    Posts
    2,796
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I bounce back pretty easily most of the time. On the rare occasions that I don't, I tend to shift the way I look at things (/my priorities) gradually to a point where I'm no longer disappointed or depressed and can move on. That's a lot easier to say than do, but I've managed it before.
    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Holy mud-wrestling bipolar donkeys, Batman!

    Retired from posting and drawing Social Security. E-mail or PM to contact.


    I pity your souls

  4. #4
    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    954
    Posts
    5,989
    Mentioned
    70 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dee
    ask God to help you survive this period. there are times in everyone's life when we think there is no light at the end, but there always is. it's just a matter of time. if it's physiological, sufficient excercise, sleep and a balanced diet works miracles, if it's people, you can rely on God to help you, having a sympathetic and caring person around should not do harm too. people can really make you feel better. there at least are zillions of councellors on all possible matters, it's just a matter of going on the web and finding local community councelling services. and just remember, there are always people around who will die to help you.
    Dee, you are so full of caringness.

  5. #5
    BLauritson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Bristol, England
    Posts
    979
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Assuming I'm interpreting the question correctly, I honestly have no idea how to deal with emotional trauma. I'm not very strong emotionally so I find it very hard to change an emotional state by my own willpower (especially if it's anger or depression). As a result I end up just enduring the trauma, like a poison coursing through my veins, suffering the ill effects until it wears off without applying an antidote. During conditions like temporary bouts of depression, it's almost like I become locked in the present moment and, no matter how hard I try, I find it difficult to see beyond it, as though the future has faded away and there is only an unchanging present remaining. Sometimes though if the depression isn't too strong, I can help break out of it by thinking ahead of it. But otherwise I'm too weak (emotionally) to combat it.
    ILI (Indescribable Lovemaking Inc.)
    5w4 so/sx

    "IP temperament! Because today's concerns are tomorrow's indifferences!"

    Lord Fnorgle's Domain - A slowly growing collection of music, poetry and literature.
    Stickam music performances

  6. #6
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,631
    Mentioned
    157 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Go somewhere where there is more sunlight, and stay at the beach for a day sunbathing. I believe that this is the cure for most depressive episodes and that if only humanity where to sunbathe more, happiness would shot up.

    The way I handle it:

    a) sun
    b) work
    c) alchool
    d) exercise

    where D(depression)=D((1/W)(a)+(1/E)(b)+(1/R)(c)+(1/D)(d)) with W+E+R+D=1
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  7. #7
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Emotional trauma is very difficult for me. Physical exercise does help, if I can force myself to do it. Caffeine also helps. But not too much. Watching tv helps for awhile because it puts my trouble into perspective a bit. Sleep helps. Time. Sometimes, though, nothing helps and you just have to sit there and feel the weight of it for awhile. Feel it and know that the sadness and difficulties are part of what makes the joy in life so sweet.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    USA.
    TIM
    INTj
    Posts
    4,497
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Go somewhere where there is more sunlight, and stay at the beach for a day sunbathing. I believe that this is the cure for most depressive episodes and that if only humanity where to sunbathe more, happiness would shot up.

    The way I handle it:

    a) sun
    b) work
    c) alchool
    d) exercise

    where D(depression)=D((1/W)(a)+(1/E)(b)+(1/R)(c)+(1/D)(d)) with W+E+R+D=1
    what about basking in the heat of the San Diego fires?


    also, redbaron you sound so infp.

  9. #9
    force my hand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,334
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    What happened Ms. K?

    I find when I'm feeling shitty, there's nothing better than just wallowing in it for awhile. Whatever it is - death, breakup, etc. - give it its due, then pick up the fucking pieces. You gotta live.

  10. #10
    MysticSonic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,993
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    "Now, I think this could work for myself but I think it has to have some kind of rational basis.."

    Your reaction needs some kind of rational basis? Understand that feelings of despair and a general sense of traped-ness is the result of being unable to see any sort of possibility of change for the better, and that this inability to do so is created by an emotional faculty that's created from one's attachment to the thing which one does not believe(due to your emotions) can be attained or retained. This emotion isn't rational, and can't be dealt with on a rational basis. So one's reaction needn't be rational---one needs to deal with it through faith in some sort of circumstance that appears positive to you. Disregard rationality as a necessity for life and embrace the fact that you're not a completely rationally functioning person, and that sometimes faith against what is apparent is necessary. Faith.

    I dunno. I try to help.
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

  11. #11
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Do something. Like, work on something that needs to be worked on so I can get lost in that process. The worst thing for me is relationship trauma. I need some things to be certain (set of beliefs). One remedy is to just find something I can easily work on right now, so I can clear my mind.

    The more I sit still or spend time alone, the harder it can be. I feel, basically, like I just have to push forward no matter what.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  12. #12
    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Amongst the stars
    TIM
    EII/INFj E9w1sp
    Posts
    4,078
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Re: Bouncing back from tragedy

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    I would like to hear some examples on how different types deal with things that devastate them emotionally

    I am currently in a situation I would rather not be in and frankly cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. Usually I am VERY good at this.. but I think since I am aging I think I have less and less optimism.. I do seem to be good at seeing it for others.. a recent example: telling an ISTj that it's not a failure that counts but how you react to it; seemed to help her. Now, I think this could work for myself but I think it has to have some kind of rational basis.. I also think I have trouble having confidence unless I have some kind of path to follow.

    How do you a) handle yourself in tough times and b) how do you get through it?
    I try to let my emotions do whatever they want - without negatively affecting other people, of course. So I usually go through that part in private. And I think about and try to focus on my purpose in life and what I know is good and true. I do a lot of thinking. Sometimes writing helps, too.

    If I've lost someone I loved, it helps to think about all the good they were in my life, how they and the time they were with me were a gift.

    But I let my emotions pretty much do whatever they want. If they're sad, I let myself be sad. If I'm numb or apathetic, I let that happen, too. From what I can tell, feeling one way or another isn't bad or good. It just is. What I do in reaction to feelings, though, I try to be more careful of.

    Is that what you were asking?
    INFj / EII / FiNe
    ()


    "Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G.K. Chesterton

    "Have courage and be kind." - Cinderella's mom

  13. #13
    Creepy-Diana

    Default Re: Bouncing back from tragedy

    .

  14. #14
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    heals all wounds
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •