Stereotyping EIEs: are ENFjs really "drama queens"?

[07490]

hmm.. i think that many people think ENFJ are drama queens... But are we really? I think the meaning "drama Queen" fits more into ESTP especially female or maybe ESFP. We are definity externally Emotional tho, when i tell a story or talking to someone i naturally have alot of feelings that goes with it, I always explode sometimes too especially at work with hectic customer. however, we don't try to ACT out deliberatly and Try to Start Drama with nothing, which i think many ES_p do.

[Birds]

Yeah I agree... I don't think that ENFjs are necessarily drama queens. I mean they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. Or maybe they just react strongly to their environment. I don't know.

However, I think ESFps are super-drama queens, and they like it that way... I think most EXXps are drama queens. INXps can sometimes be drama queens. Every freaking types are drama queens. I hate drama queens.

[Kristiina]

the reason why ENFjs are called drama queens is exactly this:

1)they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. - but if we find that it's the best course of action, we do it so that it doesn't go unnoticed.
2)they just react strongly to their environment. - "Gooddamn movie with the person dying in the end... Damn Damn Damn, why do movies have to be so damn false dramatic..." Drama. Just emotions lashing out. Emotions created by the environment. ISTp would roll eyes and comment something about how pointless it is to make a big deal out of something so insignificant.

[xyz]

Yeah I agree... I don't think that ENFjs are necessarily drama queens. I mean they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. Or maybe they just react strongly to their environment. I don't know.

However, I think ESFps are super-drama queens, and they like it that way... I think most EXXps are drama queens. INXps can sometimes be drama queens. Every freaking types are drama queens. I hate drama queens.

Right on dude. Let's go drama queen shootin.

[Blaze]

ya gotta love enfj's though. they're soooo fun! :-)

[liveandletlive]

in my experience with enfjs id have to say if anything they are the opposite of drama queens. They usually try to make sure that everyone is getting along, everyone is happy, and pushes a lot of things that would normally upset them under the mattress (i forgot the term but you know what i mean) in order to make sure there is this harmony with their family and friends.

haha i guess us ESFp's can be prone to drama but idk about drama queens. When i think of the term drama queen i think of someone who intentionally creates drama from nothing. Drama tends to follow us because we make bad decisions and get ourselves into some pretty crazy predicaments because of this but i wouldn't say this makes us drama queens. If anything, i'd say ESFj's are drama queens. They always seem to be bothered by something someone says or does that obviously was not meant to offend. They also have this bad habit of pressing peoples' wrong buttons and pissing them off.

[ScarlettLux]

the reason why ENFjs are called drama queens is exactly this:

1)they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. - but if we find that it's the best course of action, we do it so that it doesn't go unnoticed.
2)they just react strongly to their environment. - "Gooddamn movie with the person dying in the end... Damn Damn Damn, why do movies have to be so damn false dramatic..." Drama. Just emotions lashing out. Emotions created by the environment. ISTp would roll eyes and comment something about how pointless it is to make a big deal out of something so insignificant.

So true ... why do you think ISTps do that? I hate, hate, HATE it when people tell me I'm making a big deal out something or ask why I'm making a big deal out of something ... it's so offensive because to me, it IS a big deal! It's the natural way I react to any type of situation .. to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... preference galore here.

Is this dislike of "making a big deal" something to do with PoLR? Are INTps prone to this as well or does it have more to do with valuing?

[idealistichick]

I think for the most part we are very emotionally driven and that's wat causes others to believe that we're too dramatic. I do think that I do go overboard at times but what can you do? Gotta love the Fe and the Ni together

[07490]

i think what kristiina and liveandletlive said are right on the spot. We are called the mentor, but personally i do not like to Influences people, i always think to myself that maybe what i am saying is wrong as everything has a good and bad side. yet i feel i just need to get involved in certain situation to tell the people and explain it to them that... hey you are wrong(in a very humble way) but i am not doing this for personal glory or attention, I just cannot stand people who are doing the "bads" in life. same goes with attention and temper. I am very very patient when i teach people but certain things which violate my morals can get me and i just feel like kicking the person's ass since why shouldn't you treat others like you want to be treated?

[Kristiina]

lol, I don't treat others like I want to be treated. I hope no one will treat me like this . But I do occasionally treat others in a way that gives the maximum effect. If I'm upset about something that someone else did, then I make sure my opinions on the matter don't go unnoticed. I'm not even sure if I do it deliberately because even if I notice myself using all my resources to voice my opinion, I can't stop myself from doing it.

ISTps and INTps can't stand it because of their Fe PoLR. But when communicating with some IXTps, there's a way around it. They are so sensitive to displays of emotion that only a little bit is sufficient to get the maximum effect. A couple of seconds of pouting has the same effect on an INTp as A HUGE DRAMA has on an ESTj. Well... that's only when you're lucky, because half the IXTps aren't supersensitive to Fe, they are totally oblivious to Fe. They're the ones who say, "Why all the drama. " gaah. A -supersensitive IxTp can be so much easier to communicate with than any other type because it takes so little effort. Am I the only one who thinks that?

[xyz]

the reason why ENFjs are called drama queens is exactly this:

1)they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. - but if we find that it's the best course of action, we do it so that it doesn't go unnoticed.
2)they just react strongly to their environment. - "Gooddamn movie with the person dying in the end... Damn Damn Damn, why do movies have to be so damn false dramatic..." Drama. Just emotions lashing out. Emotions created by the environment. ISTp would roll eyes and comment something about how pointless it is to make a big deal out of something so insignificant.

So true ... why do you think ISTps do that? I hate, hate, HATE it when people tell me I'm making a big deal out something or ask why I'm making a big deal out of something ... it's so offensive because to me, it IS a big deal! It's the natural way I react to any type of situation .. to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... preference galore here.

Is this dislike of "making a big deal" something to do with PoLR? Are INTps prone to this as well or does it have more to do with valuing?

That's the thing, you think failing a test is a big deal when people are getting shot in the face 5 miles away, and you still have the audacity to cry "yes it's a BIG DEAL"

To us, it's not, and we don't care that it upsets you

[Kristiina]

the reason why ENFjs are called drama queens is exactly this:

1)they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. - but if we find that it's the best course of action, we do it so that it doesn't go unnoticed.
2)they just react strongly to their environment. - "Gooddamn movie with the person dying in the end... Damn Damn Damn, why do movies have to be so damn false dramatic..." Drama. Just emotions lashing out. Emotions created by the environment. ISTp would roll eyes and comment something about how pointless it is to make a big deal out of something so insignificant.

So true ... why do you think ISTps do that? I hate, hate, HATE it when people tell me I'm making a big deal out something or ask why I'm making a big deal out of something ... it's so offensive because to me, it IS a big deal! It's the natural way I react to any type of situation .. to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... preference galore here.

Is this dislike of "making a big deal" something to do with PoLR? Are INTps prone to this as well or does it have more to do with valuing?

That's the thing, you think failing a test is a big deal when people are getting shot in the face 5 miles away, and you still have the audacity to cry "yes it's a BIG DEAL"

To us, it's not, and we don't care that it upsets you

haha, Don't try this at home, or rather - never try saying that to an ENFj directly.

[xyz]

I have, 1 of two things would happen:

They would INSIST on MAKING it a big deal, by making it a bigger deal and annoying the fuck outta me
OR
They would cry and accuse me of being the most cruel person they have ever met


I mean really? haha

[Kristiina]

I have, 1 of two things would happen:

They would INSIST on MAKING it a big deal, by making it a bigger deal and annoying the fuck outta me
OR
They would cry and accuse me of being the most cruel person they have ever met


I mean really? haha

Oh wow. I never really had an opinion of you, but you sound just about as asshole as they come. I'll just hope the next time you use that line IRL the ENFj will reply with a good kick in the nuts.

[xyz]

You're just too emotional.

Edit: AND, can't you see yourselves crying over something so insignificant? What about when something big DOES happen? Like someone dies in your family, does your head explode???

[Kristiina]

Well... I could ask the same from you. If someone dies and people are "being emotional", would you still be going around pfff-ing people and telling them to stop lashing out pointlessly because it won't change anything.

[xyz]

Yes I would stop because that is a legitimate reason for me. My problem doesn't come from the fact that ENFj's are emotional. My problem is that they are equally devastated by EVERTHING. It's like you guys have a knob that goes in only 2 discrete emotional states: 0 or 11.

[xyz]

Sides I don't hate you! Relax I just wish more control over your emotions. I agree: No emotions at all is worse than being all over the map. When I encounter "cold" people they gimme the fucking willies. Sociopaths??

[Kristiina]

as ScarlettLux said, "to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... ". Reacting is just something that I have to do. If I don't react right away, I'll lash out needlessly harshly later. I've tried being quiet and calm and not show too much emotions. Can you say, "passive aggressive." :wink:

[xyz]

yeah, I'd honestly have you just be open than passive aggressive any day.

[Kristiina]

lol. yay!

[xyz]

I just noticed your sig. Haha, I'm gonna have to actually use that one. Real or not it's good

[redbaron]

yeah, I'd honestly have you just be open than passive aggressive any day.

Amen to that!

[lefty]

drama has value and can be utilized in human services and i think fits in well as a skill set in what matters most to idealists which is other human beings.

lefty
enfj

[redbaron]

My ESFj husband can be very dramatic when he's trying to get his point across. Especially when he feels like he's not being listened to. He can put on quite a show.

[xyz]

I love to watch ESFj's be dramatical with OTHER people.

[force my hand]

So true ... why do you think ISTps do that? I hate, hate, HATE it when people tell me I'm making a big deal out something or ask why I'm making a big deal out of something ... it's so offensive because to me, it IS a big deal! It's the natural way I react to any type of situation .. to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... preference galore here.

Is this dislike of "making a big deal" something to do with PoLR? Are INTps prone to this as well or does it have more to do with valuing?

Ignoring type, I personally would ask what you're trying to achieve. If you enjoy expressing emotion and it is satisfying in itself, that's fine - emote away. But if you don't and actually feel something real beyond the display you're putting on, why put yourself through that when you don't have to?

[redbaron]

So true ... why do you think ISTps do that? I hate, hate, HATE it when people tell me I'm making a big deal out something or ask why I'm making a big deal out of something ... it's so offensive because to me, it IS a big deal! It's the natural way I react to any type of situation .. to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... preference galore here.

Is this dislike of "making a big deal" something to do with PoLR? Are INTps prone to this as well or does it have more to do with valuing?

Ignoring type, I personally would ask what you're trying to achieve. If you enjoy expressing emotion and it is satisfying in itself, that's fine - emote away. But if you don't and actually feel something real beyond the display you're putting on, why put yourself through that when you don't have to?

It's the natural way she reacts. I doubt she's trying to achieve anything specific.

[xyz]

force_my_hand, I know where you're coming from. I think the problem is we never do anything without a reason, whereas ENFj saps just "emote", whatever the fuck that is.

[force my hand]

I got nothin'.

[idealistichick]

the reason why ENFjs are called drama queens is exactly this:

1)they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. - but if we find that it's the best course of action, we do it so that it doesn't go unnoticed.
2)they just react strongly to their environment. - "Gooddamn movie with the person dying in the end... Damn Damn Damn, why do movies have to be so damn false dramatic..." Drama. Just emotions lashing out. Emotions created by the environment. ISTp would roll eyes and comment something about how pointless it is to make a big deal out of something so insignificant.

So true ... why do you think ISTps do that? I hate, hate, HATE it when people tell me I'm making a big deal out something or ask why I'm making a big deal out of something ... it's so offensive because to me, it IS a big deal! It's the natural way I react to any type of situation .. to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... preference galore here.

Is this dislike of "making a big deal" something to do with PoLR? Are INTps prone to this as well or does it have more to do with valuing?

Hey Scarlet so ur definetly ENFj?

[ScarlettLux]

the reason why ENFjs are called drama queens is exactly this:

1)they can probably create drama if they wanted to, but they'd only do it if they find it necessary. - but if we find that it's the best course of action, we do it so that it doesn't go unnoticed.
2)they just react strongly to their environment. - "Gooddamn movie with the person dying in the end... Damn Damn Damn, why do movies have to be so damn false dramatic..." Drama. Just emotions lashing out. Emotions created by the environment. ISTp would roll eyes and comment something about how pointless it is to make a big deal out of something so insignificant.

So true ... why do you think ISTps do that? I hate, hate, HATE it when people tell me I'm making a big deal out something or ask why I'm making a big deal out of something ... it's so offensive because to me, it IS a big deal! It's the natural way I react to any type of situation .. to sweep things under the rug is just annoying and doesn't really "air out" emotions... preference galore here.

Is this dislike of "making a big deal" something to do with PoLR? Are INTps prone to this as well or does it have more to do with valuing?

Hey Scarlet so ur definetly ENFj?

Yes, I do believe so. I have come to this conclusion based on the fact that under "happy", "normal" circumstances where I am unstressed, unfettered by social anxieties and such (which are unrelated to socionics type), I behave like an EIE moreso than an IEI. I can come across introverted at times when I am in an unfamiliar situation where I feel socially uncomfortable but I really believe that this has more to do with personal psychological difficulties than inherent type. My natural preference of acting is very cohesive with the EIE typing.

[normal]

You do not know how much I hate my girlfriend when she dramatizes the whole situation. Sometimes she wraps me too much in her emotional environment that puts stress on on me.

[ScarlettLux]

You do not know how much I hate my girlfriend when she dramatizes the whole situation. Sometimes she wraps me too much in her emotional environment that puts stress on on me.

LOL @ u.

[normal]

You do not know how much I hate my girlfriend when she dramatizes the whole situation. Sometimes she wraps me too much in her emotional environment that puts stress on on me.

LOL @ u.

[Kristiina]

You do not know how much I hate my girlfriend when she dramatizes the whole situation. Sometimes she wraps me too much in her emotional environment that puts stress on on me.

I'm sorry to hear that. But it can be frustrating both ways. I know that my INTp husband doesn't handle my strong emotions well, so I don't like to tell him what's bothering me. But not telling is bad for me because such unexpressed emotions can make me mysteriously uneasy (problems sleeping, memory flashes, irritability etc) . I'm working on minimizing the risk by trying to surround myself with ISTjs and trying to find as many methods of emotional output as I can find.

[Creepy-bg]

see Kristiina, you need to go back to quoting me in your sigs.... nobody can argue with my wisdom

[FDG]

Poor Performance is cool. Being perfect all the time is boring!

[FDG]

Poor Performance is cool. Being perfect all the time is boring!

I don't see the point in fucking up simply for the sake of being "interesting" or "cool". There are plenty of other ways to alleviate boredom.

Not everything in life must have a point

[FDG]

Poor Performance is cool. Being perfect all the time is boring!

I don't see the point in fucking up simply for the sake of being "interesting" or "cool". There are plenty of other ways to alleviate boredom.

Not everything in life must have a point

Why would you do anything if not for some point? What possible motivating factor would there be?

Like, because you instinctually feel like it.