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Thread: INFps and romance

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    Default INFps and romance

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    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    Kiss him and see what happens. Go for it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Kiss him and see what happens. Go for it!
    No! For the love of God please don't! It sounds like the last thing this guy needs is to feel like he has an obligation to reciprocate - and a kiss for an INFp is an obligation.

    Definately check out this thread, though: http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...&highlight=guy

    If he has outright told you he doesn't want a relationship, I think it would be better to take him for his word. You'll just be putting him through a lot of turmoil if it really was the case and he felt obligated to enter one with you. He would be unable to break away if he ever wanted to.

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    No! For the love of God please don't! It sounds like the last thing this guy needs is to feel like he has an obligation to reciprocate
    No kidding...

    If u ever feel the urge to completely lock him in... kiss him.

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    Guess that was one of the more radical entp "solutions"!
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    I'm back, assholes! Herzy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Guess that was one of the more radical entp "solutions"!
    That's also a SLE solution, don't feel bad. Yay for absolutely no !
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    But ladies, check this out:

    Quote Originally Posted by HarryBottom in flirting thread
    I would just simply flat out ask him if he was interested in being with me or walk up to him and start kissing him. Hehe, they were always very shocked, never saw it coming.
    ha... thats so awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by HarryBottom
    No! For the love of God please don't! It sounds like the last thing this guy needs is to feel like he has an obligation to reciprocate
    No kidding...

    If u ever feel the urge to completely lock him in... kiss him.
    so...
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    edit
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    ahahahhahahahaha

    you're sure he's not messing with you? seeing what your reaction is or something like that?
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    Gahhhh, this is one reason why being "available" sucks. Too much stress.
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    If u ever feel the urge to completely lock him in... kiss him.
    Joy, what I meant was that in that context of that situation, becuase he probly was already speculating her interest in him, and they were already on the verge of forming some kind of relationship, that if she were to kiss him it would confirm his speculation that there was romantic interest there and he would feel inclined to act on it.

    It's cool on the other hand to be very direct with a guy and say you are interested, and playfully kissing does no harm... then again thats kinda flirting anyways.

    Sorry if I seemed contradictiory or wasnt specific enough.

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    I agree with Harry. Basically, what an INFp guy wants a woman to say is:

    "Look, I'm really into you and really would be willing to pursue a relationship - but only if you want to yourself. If you don't, that's still totally cool."

    Now... I've never had a girl be that direct with me, so I'm not exactly sure how I would react to it. But, I know that's what I have found myself really wishing for when I've been tossed into mind-games sometimes.

    If you do go the direct route, Kim, be prepared for a vague/half-assed answer... heh... we INFps are so confusing sometimes we don't even understand each other. If he says "Yes" but really means "No" he wants you to ease off. If he says "No" but he really means "Yes" then he need a buffer period of time to think about it first and then (perhaps a few weeks/months later) it's time to be direct again. If he says "No" and really means "No" then it's better to let it go. If he says "Yes" but really means "Yes" then it's best to keep your cool and go about it so that you don't make him feel obligated. Are you confused yet?

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    we INFps are so confusing sometimes we don't even understand each other. If he says "Yes" but really means "No" he wants you to ease off. If he says "No" but he really means "Yes" then he need a buffer period of time to think about it first and then (perhaps a few weeks/months later) it's time to be direct again. If he says "No" and really means "No" then it's better to let it go. If he says "Yes" but really means "Yes" then it's best to keep your cool and go about it so that you don't make him feel obligated. Are you confused yet?
    lol, perfect.

    Baby, we always seem to feel the same on these type of things.

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    I know! lol, God bless Socionics! I wish I'd known about it all those years in high school when I felt like a loser for being the only guy who could never get up the nerve to start dating.

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    ahahahahahha she was confused when she started this topic!

    sooooooooo pretty much what you guys are saying is that being direct:
    1) May be welcomed
    2) May not be, but you won't say so
    3) May not even get a response
    4) May get a response but that response may be a misrepresentation
    5) May get an accurate response but it could easily change
    6) May be the only way anything will ever happen

    goodness graciousness I thought I was difficult

    Don't worry gentlemen, it still seems that INFps are everyone's favorite. :wink:
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    sooooooooo pretty much what you guys are saying is that being direct:
    1) May be welcomed
    2) May not be, but you won't say so
    3) May not even get a response
    4) May get a response but that response may be a misrepresentation
    5) May get an accurate response but it could easily change
    6) May be the only way anything will ever happen
    Exactly! I think your onto something... :wink:
    The key to understanding the INFP is understanding that there is no key to understanding the INFP.

    Don't worry gentlemen, it still seems that INFps are everyone's favorite.
    When it comes to the internet anyways.

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    My favorite friend is an INFp. (and that's IRL!)
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    Hey Kim,
    before you go kissing and asking whatever, I think it might be a good idea to know how you want it to turn out. Otherwise you'll be all in the Kool-Aid and not know the flavor. Play it by ear. Spend some more time and find out how you feel. You know how us IEEs do :wink: Be subtle and let him talk and draw him out. Then if you have the reslove..STRIKE LIKE A COBRA (Do IEI really like it rough, even the guys?)
    OR you could share with him this poem (one of my favorites) by ee cummings

    somewhere i have never traveled,gladly beyond
    any experience,your eyes have their silence:
    in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
    or which i cannot touch because they are too near
    your slightest look easily will unclose me
    though i have closed myself as fingers,
    you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
    (touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose
    or if your wish be to close me,i and
    my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
    as when the heart of this flower imagines
    the snow carefully everywhere descending;
    nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
    the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
    compels me with this colour of its countries,
    rendering death and forever with each breathing
    (i do not know what it is about you that closes
    and opens;only something in me understands
    the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
    nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Topaz brings up a good point. Don't do anything until you're sure you know what you want.
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    Kim, you're a sweet girl. As much as it pains me to say it, you deserve better than to have to put up with us brooding INFps. That's why we're paired up with ESTps <- they don't take us so seriously and aren't so sensitive to our every urge; which, as strange as it sounds, is what puts us at ease.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    Kim, you're a sweet girl. As much as it pains me to say it, you deserve better than to have to put up with us brooding INFps. That's why we're paired up with ESTps <- they don't take us so seriously and aren't so sensitive to our every urge; which, as strange as it sounds, is what puts us at ease.
    Talk about a gentle let down.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    Kim, you're a sweet girl. As much as it pains me to say it, you deserve better than to have to put up with us brooding INFps. That's why we're paired up with ESTps <- they don't take us so seriously and aren't so sensitive to our every urge; which, as strange as it sounds, is what puts us at ease.
    Talk about a gentle let down.
    Aww... I didn't mean it that way! Really I didn't! If Kim wants the sensitive artistic type, by God, she can have it... on his terms, of course. :wink:

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    Baby, I think I love you. I just don't care what color your hair is anymore. :wink:



    Side question
    @ Kim, I was wondering about your preferences in males. Have you like ever been attracted to the more "masculine" types like for example ESTp, ESTj, ISTp,ENTj etc. Do you have a preference for the "geeky" types and the "sweet sensitive" types?

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    Just wanted to confirm that those were the only types you have been attracted to because I haven't seen you write about any of the other types I mentioned. When you write about the ISTp ex, I have a feeling that that there is a bit of misplaced rose-colored nostolgia (probably socionics theory influenced and I could be wrong) and you have not spoken of being attracted to any other ISTp since. I think other things too, like is she attracted to types/people that are more likely to be rejecting etc, but then its past my bedtime and I think too much anyway.

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    That was me again.

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    I am almost certain of where males are concerned is that it is better for them to pursue you than you them. If they are really, really interested, they will pursue you(even the shy ones).
    It is fun to pursue males sometimes, but if they give in and establish a relationship with you they tend to be quite neglectful and not quite as caring throughout the entire relationship. Let them work, before and after, do not deprive them of this, it is good for them and you, initial passivity in males is usually not a good sign.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megan.
    I am almost certain of where males are concerned is that it is better for them to pursue you than you them. If they are really, really interested, they will pursue you(even the shy ones).
    It is fun to pursue males sometimes, but if they give in and establish a relationship with you they tend to be quite neglectful and not quite as caring throughout the entire relationship. Let them work, before and after, do not deprive them of this, it is good for them and you, initial passivity in males is usually not a good sign.


    I cannot tolerate not being the one who initiates relationships.
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    Someone tell me this isn't true!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Megan
    Baby, I think I love you. I just don't care what color your hair is anymore.
    LMAO! That's hilarious. Someone needs to say that to me!
    Entp
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Quote Originally Posted by Megan
    Baby, I think I love you. I just don't care what color your hair is anymore.
    LMAO! That's hilarious. Someone needs to say that to me!
    YOU need that someone says that to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by detail
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Quote Originally Posted by Megan
    Baby, I think I love you. I just don't care what color your hair is anymore.
    LMAO! That's hilarious. Someone needs to say that to me!
    YOU need that someone says that to you.
    Hehe. Yeah, I was reaching for that IRL.
    Entp
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    NOW!
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    Joy, I think Megan really has a point.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Quote Originally Posted by Megan.
    I am almost certain of where males are concerned is that it is better for them to pursue you than you them. If they are really, really interested, they will pursue you(even the shy ones).
    It is fun to pursue males sometimes, but if they give in and establish a relationship with you they tend to be quite neglectful and not quite as caring throughout the entire relationship. Let them work, before and after, do not deprive them of this, it is good for them and you, initial passivity in males is usually not a good sign.


    I cannot tolerate not being the one who initiates relationships.
    Actually, Megan is on to something. It's not so much that men feel they need to have initiated a relationship, but that they need to have a sense of control over where the relationship is going. One way to do this is let them pursue you... Of course, with INFps, most will never rack up the nerve to initiate a relationship explicitly - and here it's not so much a male v. female factor but one of intense sensitivity and shyness - so a little "help" on your end might be worthwhile. However, allowing the guy to feel a sense of control over the relationship - ie, allowing him to plan dates, initiate contact by touch, all the while with positive aprobation - will prevent him from those aforementioned feelings of being trapped/obligated, etc.

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    Sometimes I think life is just a tad too complicated for poor little me...
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    What's this I see? An ENFp expressing her cynical side? Someone needs to go watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving to renew her faith in life itself.

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    lol.... Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.... man, your killing me here.

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    Wait, what's my plan?
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    *Kim is still dancing her way over to Delta and wonders what she was just thinking about...there was something about Herzblut and a plan. And Baby turned into Charlie Brown. And Harry Bottom was there, too....*
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    lol, I don't usually plan things.
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