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Thread: ISFjs diverting their eyes when laughing or smiling

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    Default ISFjs diverting their eyes when laughing or smiling

    I noticed this trait for the first time. Strange man.
    They laugh and instead of laughing with you, they quickly divert their eyes.

    Still ISFJ's are really nice people.

    Their conflict partner the ENTP has this extremely stare in his eyes, no wonder they are conflictors...

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    Default Re: ISFJ and not looking direct in the eyes

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno
    I noticed this trait for the first time. Strange man.
    They laugh and instead of laughing with you, they quickly divert their eyes.

    Still ISFJ's are really nice people.

    Their conflict partner the ENTP has this extremely stare in his eyes, no wonder they are conflictors...
    Uh, I think you've got it backwards.

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    You do see that description places.

    Often he does not look directly into his interlocutor's eyes, as though in order not burn him down.

    My brother is like that, but I don't think there's any functional reason why every ISFj would do that. Hmm in fact my brother might do a bit of both - like look at you intently, and then look at the floor for a bit. I have no idea what most ISFjs do.
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    Not looking at someone in the eyes can be related to low self-confidence also, regardless of type.
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    One reason for not looking someone in the eyes when talking with them is so you can collect your thoughts. For some reason focusing on another person seems to defocus one from their own thoughts... in which case one can't really respond to the other person anyway.

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    I usually look into the eyes of the person I am talking to or listening to when I have a conversation with someone. If someone is talking to a group of people including me, sometimes I look into thier eyes to show them I am paying attention and sometimes I stare at the floor to focus on listening and comprehending and less on what I am seeing. I think looking into the eyes of the person you are talking or listening to is important since it shows you are paying attention.
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    Not an ISFj or anything, but I'm sure I'm not the only person who has trouble looking someone in the eye while talking and/or listening to them. The problem is that I can't concentrate because I just start inspecting their face and eyes, and it is just distracting. So I usually put my ear closer and look away to listen. Speaking to I can usually keep eye contact pretty well unless I lose my train of thought.
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    I look all over the place.

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I took that to mean that because ESI's can have such intense stares, they often avoid looking directly into the eyes of the person that's talking to them because they know it will make that person uncomfortable or make that person feel as though they're being judged. I've seen ESI's look away while talking to someone they're not comfortable with if in a situation in which they feel they should be polite.
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    I don't usually look into the eye too, but i'm not sure if this kind of behavior would be something to type for.

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    I doubt that tendency for eye contact is type related; I used to be pretty unwilling to make eye contact (in passing, or conversation), until I mad a conscious effort to change.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dee
    ENTjs have Si PoLR and dislike being stared at. maybe due to their insecurity of looking bad or something, or just somehow related to being stared at with the Si addresses their 4th which thy dislike. ISFj are said not to stare alright. they have piercing stares though, it is said. maybe to scare the starers away
    one thing my dad's ex-wife does (ISFj Se i think, weakish Ni type at any rate) is that she'll talk to you and tell a pretty long story about a travel she has taken yet she looks straight ahead like she doesn't even see you. i used to try to get a glance at her eyes sometimes but she really doesn't look at you that much.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dee
    i see. nice example. so probably when she does look, you're dead. i've actually experienced it a couple of times. they would sort of look veery seriously from under the brows head bowed down a little, makes you sober up for sure that if i typed right.
    once, my dad's ex-wife asked me if a guy i was going out with was of a particular race because he lived in a particular part of los angeles where x race predominates. i had already been asked that question 100x that day, but i was fine with answering it again. she asked, i just sort of giggled because it had already become a joke between my sister and me that i would be asked that 5 more times during the day.

    my sister is pretty much what i imagine FDG to be like IRL. in unison, we said -- "already heard that so many times today." she jerked back and gave us both a death stare quite possibly scarier than that of an ESTp. that shut me up pretty quickly.

    she does come off as "unfriendly" or would probably come off as such to a person. i even thought she could be a really hardass ISTx for a while.

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    entj's don't like when other people look them directly in the eyes because they are/they try to be intimidating.

    but yeah i get weirded out when looking people directly in the eyes too... i don't want them to think im challenging them in anyway. i especially feel weird with my beneficiary (estj) because they're very dominant people so it makes me uncomfortable that such a person would benefit from me. this gets way worse when I notice them benefitting from me... i like feel guilty/so strange. Any other esfps or isfjs feel the same way?
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    I can relate to this quite a bit. Functionally, low or devalued Fe would probably lead to lack of "polite" eye contact. I had to train myself to start to do that when I was a teenager.

    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive
    entj's don't like when other people look them directly in the eyes because they are/they try to be intimidating.
    Hmm, that's rather interesting. I think there might be some truth to that, but it depends on the situation. For a healthy ENTj, any projection of strength would be about more than simple intimidation. Personally, I think you might get that impression because your fi-creative/se-accepting. (Fi-creating to shine a light on the dual-seeking and then viewing what you see in terms of Se).

    **content edit**

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    I have a tendency to stare at people too long when conversing, making them uncomfortable. Several people have complained to me about this.

    I don't maintain eye contact if I really need to concentrate, but other than that I tend to stare.

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe
    I have a tendency to stare at people too long when conversing, making them uncomfortable. Several people have complained to me about this.

    I don't maintain eye contact if I really need to concentrate, but other than that I tend to stare.
    i have the same tendency.

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe
    I have a tendency to stare at people too long when conversing, making them uncomfortable. Several people have complained to me about this.

    I don't maintain eye contact if I really need to concentrate, but other than that I tend to stare.
    i have the same tendency.
    what types are you guys?
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    discojoe claims isfj and he does have a crazy stare i work where he used to work, and thats the one of the biggest things they remember about him

    and i think implied is intp or isfj? i can't keep up with her very well, never even really tried to pin her type down actually...i just take her as she is...if that makes any sense? kinda like how i do with diana.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    discojoe claims isfj and he does have a crazy stare i work where he used to work, and thats the one of the biggest things they remember about him

    and i think implied is intp or isfj? i can't keep up with her very well, never even really tried to pin her type down actually...i just take her as she is...if that makes any sense? kinda like how i do with diana.
    haha thanks!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    discojoe claims isfj and he does have a crazy stare i work where he used to work, and thats the one of the biggest things they remember about him

    and i think implied is intp or isfj? i can't keep up with her very well, never even really tried to pin her type down actually...i just take her as she is...if that makes any sense? kinda like how i do with diana.

    seriously? i cannot imagine that (crazy stare on dj.) at any rate, with me, i think it's more something i do when i'm stressed/overwhelmed, not an every day thing. but i really don't have a problem looking people in the eyes.

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    well implied, i personally was never freaked out by it or anything. i dont think i ever complained.

    it seems he does it more in social settings, which would imply stress and overwhemled feelings, like you said.
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    I don't stare at people attempting to intimidate them. Usually, when I am fixing my eyes on a person it means that I am lost in thought during that moment, and thus I am not actually looking at the subject.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I don't stare at people attempting to intimidate them. Usually, when I am fixing my eyes on a person it means that I am lost in thought during that moment, and thus I am not actually looking at the subject.
    LOL

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I don't stare at people attempting to intimidate them. Usually, when I am fixing my eyes on a person it means that I am lost in thought during that moment, and thus I am not actually looking at the subject.
    LOL
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    Hmm
    I actually find it kind of cute, the whole diverting eyes thing
    And very polite in a way, like they're respecting your space.

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    I like eye contact. Sometimes I'm not sure whether diverting my eyes makes it look like I'm trying to tune the person out, but I do it anyway so that I'm not staring someone down.

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    Mm yeah. Eye contact can be really nice but at the same time feel intense for me. If there's too much it just quickly reaches the point of being uncomfortable. And I start to wonder about the funny way I look, ahem. Esp if I like or admire the other person. I guess that sounds normal? Also just a matter of how I'd rather people pay attention to what I'm saying. If they're staring, it makes me feel like they're scrutinizing me instead.
    With the ESI ex, it felt like he wasn't making eye-contact just because, I dunno, maybe he was having some thoughts he was mulling over, or just resting a bit. If I was talking, it did feel like he was listening. And anyway, I knew for sure he was listening and paying attention because later he'd bring stuff up that even I had half forgotten I said ha.

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    I have noticed that both ISFjs and INFjs tend to divert their eyes regularly – while talking, while listening, while laughing etc.
    I think it could have something to do with their Fi – or just being an introvert, really.

    When I feel very self-conscious/shy I do the same, but other than that I keep eye contact quite easily. Usually, when I am speaking to an IxFj, I mimic their behaviour – I avert my eyes more often like they do, in order to make them feel more comfortable.

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    I don't have any idea about ESI's, but in my experience LII's are awful with eye contact. It's really frustrating.

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    the most hardcore eye stares I have come across belonged to Fi dom. folks. Also L_Is, especially when sx first. I have no idea what kind of aliens you're talking about.

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    I look briefly at people's eyes to show I'm paying attention. But prolonged eye contact becomes intense too quickly (if I like someone) and uncomfortable (if I don't).
    I think I'm okay at it but people mention often that I suck at it.

    ...I'm teeny bit "shy"..


    I like a lot of eye contact with someone I'm dating.

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    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive View Post
    entj's don't like when other people look them directly in the eyes because they are/they try to be intimidating.
    I noticed this with an LIE-Ni as well. I think it might be Ni. Staring at people distracts from that perhaps. Or at least it does with me...cause if I'm looking into someone's eyes, I'm focused on their facial expressions, but not taking in what they are saying. But an SLI seems to have the same tendencies, so I don't know, maybe Si/Ni. But he at least can go from intensely staring to almost no eye contact without it seeming to bother him.

    but yeah i get weirded out when looking people directly in the eyes too... i don't want them to think im challenging them in anyway. i especially feel weird with my beneficiary (estj) because they're very dominant people so it makes me uncomfortable that such a person would benefit from me. this gets way worse when I notice them benefitting from me... i like feel guilty/so strange. Any other esfps or isfjs feel the same way?
    What's up with ESTjs? There's a tendency to stare people down, as if trying to consume their soul. It's very off-putting, especially when I realize I'm so focused on the intensity of their gazing that I'm not understanding everything they are telling me. what the heck.

    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    I look briefly at people's eyes to show I'm paying attention. But prolonged eye contact becomes intense too quickly (if I like someone) and uncomfortable (if I don't).
    I think I'm okay at it but people mention often that I suck at it.

    ...I'm teeny bit "shy"..


    I like a lot of eye contact with someone I'm dating.
    I could have written that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    I have noticed that both ISFjs and INFjs tend to divert their eyes regularly – while talking, while listening, while laughing etc.
    I think it could have something to do with their Fi – or just being an introvert, really.

    When I feel very self-conscious/shy I do the same, but other than that I keep eye contact quite easily. Usually, when I am speaking to an IxFj, I mimic their behaviour – I avert my eyes more often like they do, in order to make them feel more comfortable.
    Yes I have a really hard with eye contact. An SLE tells me I need to fix it. Sometimes I have other things on mind, and other times I am uncomfortable in social situations.
    HAH My IEI friend does the same with me. I think it is so cute. But IEI hve better Fe...

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    maybe i have weak Si because i dont usually pay any attention to how much eye contact i give when im talking with somebody. i know i look more when i listen than when i talk, and i can't remember the last time i was bothered by too much, but i dont really think about it.

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