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Thread: Can ESFps ever turn off their playing games and be serious?

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    Suomea's Avatar
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    Default Can ESFps ever turn off their playing games and be serious?

    I just have this one ESFp friend..... and we hooked up once...... and since then it seems like she can never turn her gameplaying off and be serious anymore. Aggravates the hell out of me. I don't think either of us want something... but the whole time now it just seems like she's playing a game. Could be an ESTp but I'm just wondering..... after an ESFp hooks up with someone does the gameplaying ever stop? We were friends for a number of years before then so it's not a friendship I just want to end.
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    well not for nothing won't it be close to impossible for u guys to be normal n back to how u were before u guys hooked up? maybe that's how she feels and that's why she's playing games. you should talk to her straight out about how u feel and see what she says.
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    Maybe I just have an unusual definition of game playing, but I've never really thought of any of the ESFps I've known to be game players; they've always struck me as honest and straight-forward about how they feel.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLauritson
    Maybe I just have an unusual definition of game playing, but I've never really thought of any of the ESFps I've known to be game players; they've always struck me as honest and straight-forward about how they feel.
    that's true however we need a definition of this game playing... if it's flirty game playing that can still be characteristic of ESFps
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    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive
    Quote Originally Posted by BLauritson
    Maybe I just have an unusual definition of game playing, but I've never really thought of any of the ESFps I've known to be game players; they've always struck me as honest and straight-forward about how they feel.
    that's true however we need a definition of this game playing... if it's flirty game playing that can still be characteristic of ESFps
    you kind of just contradicted yourself, but only a little.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive
    Quote Originally Posted by BLauritson
    Maybe I just have an unusual definition of game playing, but I've never really thought of any of the ESFps I've known to be game players; they've always struck me as honest and straight-forward about how they feel.
    that's true however we need a definition of this game playing... if it's flirty game playing that can still be characteristic of ESFps
    you kind of just contradicted yourself, but only a little.
    haha you're right it most definitely sounds like it... ok so here's what i meant- the majority of ESFp's are straight-forward (possibly subtypes?) but there are definitely some that also play games. It's hard to use "always" and "never" in socionics nevertheless when discussing p-types. I know in my own experience, I've played games and I've been straight-forward. I was just curious to know what exactly she was doing to possibly extrapolate some sort of meaning from it.
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    Default Re: Can ESFps ever turn it off again?

    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    I just have this one ESFp friend..... and we hooked up once...... and since then it seems like she can never turn her gameplaying off and be serious anymore. Aggravates the hell out of me. I don't think either of us want something... but the whole time now it just seems like she's playing a game. Could be an ESTp but I'm just wondering..... after an ESFp hooks up with someone does the gameplaying ever stop? We were friends for a number of years before then so it's not a friendship I just want to end.
    Nope. IME, it never, ever stops. Even serious conversations turn that way, often.
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    maybe she's ENFp... all the ENFp's i know are huuuuge teases (not that i should talk but still, they seem more prone to playing games than us) ummm other than that it could be a power thing- she wants the ball in her court. or maybe you hurt her feelings by like not calling her the next day or something and so she's torturing you now for revenge until she starts to feel bad. or she's bored and just wants to mess with you and see how much you care.
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    Quote Originally Posted by liveandletlive
    maybe she's ENFp... all the ENFp's i know are huuuuge teases (not that i should talk but still, they seem more prone to playing games than us) ummm other than that it could be a power thing- she wants the ball in her court. or maybe you hurt her feelings by like not calling her the next day or something and so she's torturing you now for revenge until she starts to feel bad. or she's bored and just wants to mess with you and see how much you care.
    Definitely a power thing. The next time we hung out we got some dinner or whatever and she was literally flirting with everyone trying to make me like her. We had a fight that night at the end of which I was just being completely strightforward and honest about everything which ended up with her getting frustrated because I was getting her caught up in all her lies and yelling at me and slamming the door. She had said at some point that she didn't like me like that. And I was like "fine" in a very Fi, I'm okay with that, kind of way. After that she gave me a look and started to play footsie with me. I tried to kiss her and she turned away. I'm like....."ok, you need to stop that. I'm fine with being friends, but stop trying to make me attracted to you." Which she responded "I'm not trying to make you attracted to me", at which point I said yeah you are , and she kinda blew up at me and slammed the door in my face screaming at the top of her lungs. I didn't talk to her for 6 months after that. I messaged her "Hey" after I had forgotten about the whole thing.... and she wrote back"I've been thinking of you... I'm sorry." After which I apologized as well. We got together at another bar with another one of her friends who I kinda already knew a little bit from another source. Her friend was flirting with me hard core. They were both like you need to come hang out with us tonight, you need to come hang out with us tonight. So the friend and I are flirting a lot (ExFp I think)... and we all end up back at her place. My ESFp friend starts to play defense on me. She sits down right next to me and doesn't let her sit with me, and she starts very bittingly sarcastically asking me questions of which the answers to are not the greatest. Anyway we hung out one more time briefly a few weeks later when a mutual friend of ours was in town. She didn't come meet us earlier because she said she was sick but magically became better and was out all day and met up with us later with some people. She was like "you need to meet my friends.... you need to meet my friends" all of which were guys of course haha. But I left with the people I came with pretty soon after so it wasn't too bad. That's the last time we talked about 2 weeks ago. Anyway looking back on what transpired I have no idea. But every word or action out of her mouth if I make any advance at all is one of I'm not interested. Anyway I have no idea. It's like if I'm not interested she wants me interested, and if I'm interested she wants me not interested. I have no clue.
    Suomea

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