Delta fears

[eunice]

I got the idea from the Gamma quadra and I thought it would be interesting to share and see how our fears converge. I guess I will start the ball rolling.

*I don't like to share utensils and cups with others for obvious reasons.
*Loneliness. Been single and available for good.
*Ending up with someone I don't like.
*My father because he never talks about positive stuff. Sometimes I wish he would say encouraging words like, "Good job!". "Way to go!" etc.

That's all I can think of right now.

[UDP]

Fears?

If I was to have one it would be that I don't do enough to find the right person. There are only so many people in the world I really get along with and connect with, and through my study of socionics - combined with seeing what really happens in the world in terms of relationships - I realize that actual compatibility is quite rare. I relate to Gilly's "Paranoid Ni" a lot. I really do just want to find one person and really spend my life with them. But at the same time it cannot just be what "I" want, it has to be mutual, so... it is a balance between finding someone, pursuing them, and not forcing them into anything. I know I don't need anyone to really live my life, but I feel like if I am going to do a relationship, that I want to find someone who I am really good with - I want to do it right.

Other than that I don't have any worries really because everything else is within my control. Realistically it does little good to worry about what is beyond your control of course. But I don't like not knowing, and I don't like waiting.



Another fear would be that I'm the only person who wants to live life like the way I do. I don't drink, I don't party, I'm extremely serious. I'm not the most sociable person. And more often than not it seems like I am the only one who thinks about life the way I do, and that compatibility is important for me to have in close relationships. Not that everyone has to think just like me - of course not. But that there is a real connection and understanding, a certain kind of mutual respect.

[rockclimber]

I fear other people thinking of me as incompetent or uninteresting.
I fear being emotionally hurt.
I fear making wrong decisions.

[jessica129]

Being alone
Not accomplishing anything
Boredom
Depression

[Park]

Fear of getting too much emotional input. (Fe)
Fear of uncertainty, of time passing, of loosing precious things/people, of death. (Ni)
Fear of (environmentally) imposed rules, restrictions of individual behavior and operation, of created social hierarchies. (Ti)
Fear of (potentially) imposed willpower. (Se)

[xyz]

Fear of not controlling the events in my life, of death
Fear of being stuck in a rut for my entire life
Fear of growing so old I can't walk outside on my own anymore
Fear of being depressed, and of not finding any passions in my life

Oh, and I also have a fear of sometimes not knowing where the fuck I wanna go with my life sometimes.

[UDP]

I'm afraid.......


[spoil:218beabe1c]that I'm too sexy for my shirt

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipZDG6__Zfc[/youtube]

[/spoil:218beabe1c]

[tiny_dancer]

I would also have to add fear of being adrift, feeling like I have no real 'home' or stability... and fear that no one is going to forgive me for the completely idiotic things I say sometimes.

[flower]

not living life and having a boring existence
not finding that special someone who i find really attractive and get on well with

[Danielle]

Fears? I have a few...

Waterbugs, spiders, mice, centipedes and millipedes

driving

falling down the stairs

getting hit by a car

crossing against the light or in the middle of the street

going over the yellow line at the subway station

smelling something bad

starting something I don't really want to do

telling people anything I think they won't want to hear

telling people I have bipolar disorder

that no one will want to hire me if they learn of my history of mental illness

calling somebody by the wrong name

returning items to the store

going into a store and not buying anything, and thus giving the owner false hope

choking on pills

wearing wigs or hairpieces and everyone knowing it's fake

showing my real hair when it's not right, which is most of the time

talking to salespeople

I will bore people

it's too late to find love

I'm too weird and too insular to find love

no one will ever really understand me

I'm too fat and too ugly to attract anyone

I'll never figure out what makes other women so special, and so I'll never be special like them

men will never notice me again, at least, not the ones I want to notice me

that people are just humoring me

something will happen to my family members

to confront people

I'm never going to be good enough for God

I'm thinking about important things all wrong

that I'm too proud but that I'll lose myself if I'm humble

I don't understand basic things that most other people understand

I don't really understand the few things that I think I do understand

I'll never meet anyone who likes the same music that I do

my father will never be happy again

my mother will never get better

that one of them will get sick and die

that my brother will never come out of his funk and he will fail the endeavors that he's placed so much hope in

if I ever express doubts about anything, I'll kill the hopes of someone

I'll make someone feel bad

people will get mad if I want to get off of the phone

people will reject me if they know what I'm really thinking

I make too much out of small things, and minimize what is really important, and I won't get it until it's too late

that I won't stick to any changes that I make

that I'll get depressed again

if I talk to any man, he'll assume I must be interested romantically and will reject me

if I am interested romantically in someone, I'm afraid I'm not enough

everyone is better than me, or I'm better than everyone, in the end, I'm alone

that I'll waste my potential

that my songs are childish and pedestrian and I'll never be good enough

I won't ever be balanced, get it right, live in peace

I'll speak but not make sense, and scare people away

I am not nearly as smart as people think I am, and they will find out

that my brother or father will see me naked

people will hear me in the bathroom, and know I'm moving my bowels

that my lies will be found out

someone will sit next to me on the bus, and want to talk, and interrupt my important train of thought

someone will sit next to me on the bus, and want to talk, and realize that I don't want to even though I try to hide it, and then they'll feel bad

I'll forget a song in my head

that my outfits are inappropriate (dirty, slutty, don't match)

that people are thinking bad thoughts about me

to make too many demands on a customer svc agent or salesperson, like when I'm ordering takeout and they're busy

that my life is not okay, I need to be doing better

my parents will get divorced

I'll slip on the ice

that the cat will bite me if I don't feed her, and I won't be expecting it

everyone sees my nails are dirty

I'll never be like other girls (know how to do my own hair, dress right, be sexy, be charming and effervescent)

I stink

if I tell anyone about my worst problems, they will think very badly of me

I'm the only one in the world like this

I was born messed up

my mother and her dog won't bond and she won't have the companion she needs

I'll be living with my parents when I'm 40

nothing I do is good enough for my aunt unless I make up something

that it's inappropriate to call an acquaintance I recently met, just to talk, that she won't want to talk to me

to contact my former best friend because it may make him mad, because at the time he said we shouldn't talk anymore, although that was 2 years ago

that I think about him still because I'm obsessed or something

to keep calling people who promised me a favor, I don't want to annoy them

that my voice gets babyish and annoys people

I think too much

I'm LYING TO MYSELF

people can tell I'm not wearing a bra

I won't have anything to say

my feet are too ugly and if I wear sandals everyone will know

the dog will bite someone, a child

that I can't have children

I expect too much from people

[UDP]

Reading that compels me to say that you need a hug.

[cracka]

Danielle, I have two questions.
1. How old are you?
2. What kind of music is it that you like?

Now, luckily... those are all just fears and things you are afraid of... I couldn't imagine that any of that is true since it's just your fears. :wink:

[xyz]

That's a lot of fears. Do you get out of bed most days?

[Danielle]

I know you're probably kidding Loki but....actually I don't. I stay in my bed watching DVDs or using my laptop. I rarely leave the house, although that's not because I'm scared, more because there is never anything I want to do out there. And yeah, it is really complicated to go places and do things when there are all of these fears.

I don't think most people know how fearful I am, although sometimes I'm afraid I come across as a little "delicate".

Courage, I love hugs.

cracka, I'm 26 years old. The kind of music I like....well, I prefer the music that I create, which I'm deathly afraid to share with other people. But if I think about what I tend to listen to when I listen to other people's music....Prince, Kate Bush, instrumental guitar (Steve Vai, Stevie Ray Vaughn).

[jessica129]

No offense or anything, but what's the point of living?

[Mea]

No. I think there's nothing wrong to have fears.

I think Danielle is simply more aware of her fears. Perhaps some on the list are those that bothers everyone as well.

getting hit by a car? Don't tell me you'd cross the road and not be careful? etc.

[cracka]

Courage, I love hugs.

cracka, I'm 26 years old. The kind of music I like....well, I prefer the music that I create, which I'm deathly afraid to share with other people. But if I think about what I tend to listen to when I listen to other people's music....Prince, Kate Bush, instrumental guitar (Steve Vai, Stevie Ray Vaughn).

The music question was just to have a second question to ask, I didn't really need an answer but thanks for answering... :wink:
I know a woman I've thought to be INFJ and she adores Prince more than any person on earth from what I've noticed...lol

I asked the age question figuring that you were most likely pretty young still and thinking that some of those fears would leave you after getting a few more years of life in. Obviously I was quite incorrect since 26 seems old enough. I've found that a few of the INFJ's here and elsewhere that I've come across have little to no self confidence in themselves and their own lives. Your fears show this a considerable amount so I'm gonna have to go with courage on this one... You need a hug. Like, a loooooong hug that would probably make ya cry cuz it was such a comforting hug.

[xyz]

Man, i'd start to feel sick if I was inside as much as you.

But on the plus side, being inside all day you can find stuff like this

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5t5GukrWOU[/youtube]

[Minde]

Two of my deepest and most basic fears are 1) that everything I believe and live by is wrong, and 2) that everyone I love will be taken from me.

I have lots of other littler fears, all varying in prominence and significance - Danielle mentioned some good ones.


There's a thing about fear, though... I don't like it when people try to make me afraid. I have enough fears of my own that do just fine in hampering my movements, thank you, and trying to give me more with the purpose of simply scaring me just makes me rebellious. One time, this guy started telling me about big rigs and how flimsy they are and how they could really fall apart at any moment. And how badly most planes are built. And some other similar things about stuff he'd seen or known of. It was like he was trying to instill fear in me. I don't know why. It worked, sort of. Now when I see big rigs or planes I think about some of the things he said. But I pretty much right away put a distance between myself and the guy. Anybody who tries to control me like that I pull away from. I don't want fear running my life any more than it already does.

Healthy fear is fine; not enough and you'll kill yourself, but too much is crippling.

[UDP]

Most of the time I don't really have anything to worry about. Only when I begin taking things seriously do I get attached enough to worry.

[force my hand]

I'm always scared*.

I suck.

*See all the gender-neutral entries on Danielle's list.

[Danielle]

I don't know if there is a function-based explanation for my nature, although I'm sure there is some relation. I was born this way. Well, not born fearful (although my mom said I was an anxious baby), but my earliest memory is of being alien, separate, serious, observant, apart. I have not had fearful role-modeling, my ESFP mother is pretty much fearless, my ISFP father's only fear seems to be death (which I am not afraid of, yes I don't want to get hit by a car, but the actual cessation of existence has never scared me). My ESFJ brother has fears (all social/rejection-based, he drives like a maniac), but he's not fearful.

The thing is, I'm just very aware of my fears, as I am aware of all of my attitudes. Could that be related? My fears are as much a part of me as my loves, my hates, my ambivalences. When I experience any of these attitudes, I experience them strongly and surely in that moment. So that's why I can seem fearful. Because when I'm experiencing one of my fears, it rather encapsulates me. Not that I'm shaking in my boots, just that it's all I see, all I feel. But the same with any other attitude.

If I'm ambivalent toward something, that's the one feeling I really, really can't stand, and I try to focus on something I care about as quickly as possible. I prefer reveling in hate to experiencing "I don't care". That's why I don't force myself to go out or do other things "I don't care" about. I'm not saying this is a good thing, I'm mentioning it because I wonder if this has anything to do with type.

I think Mea is right. I wasn't afraid or disturbed when I typed the list. I'm just aware of how I feel. I love being that honest, it's fun for me. I can tell that a lot of my fears have to do with .

Also, I'm very Serious by nature. So I took the question seriously and as per usual, I talked too much.

Anyway, I don't want to derail the thread talking about myself. I hope there was something useful in this.

[eunice]

I think I fear the aftermath of death even more and for similar reasons, I am afraid that I will remain single and available for good. So what do I mean? I want a part of me (i.e. my descendants) to be still around and fondly remembering me for the good deeds I have done and the love I have showered them and continue to carry on my legacy. I can't imagine been slowly forgotten after I have passed away and life still goes on without anybody remembering that I once existed.

[rockclimber]

“'What do you fear my lady?'
'A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond beyond recall or desire.'”

[Danielle]

Lord of the Rings?

[UDP]

That is where it is from. Eowyn + Aaragon's conversation in the 2nd movie. I just looked it up.

[rockclimber]

*nods*

Eowyn was always my favorite character.

[Ms. Kensington]

“'What do you fear my lady?'
'A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond beyond recall or desire.'”

that does sound pretty freaky.

I think people with low se fear losing themselves

[mikemex]

Eowyn was always my favorite character.

Nah, Legolas is way cooler

[rockclimber]

in the books or in the movie? I couldn't stand the portrayal of him in the films.

[UDP]

What didn't you like about him?

[munenori2]

I got the idea from the Gamma quadra and I thought it would be interesting to share and see how our fears converge. I guess I will start the ball rolling.

*I don't like to share utensils and cups with others for obvious reasons.
*Loneliness. Been single and available for good.
*Ending up with someone I don't like.
*My father because he never talks about positive stuff. Sometimes I wish he would say encouraging words like, "Good job!". "Way to go!" etc.

That's all I can think of right now.

My worst fears would have to be 1) being alone for the rest of my life, followed by 2) not being understood or worst of worsts 3) being understood and rejected.

[munenori2]

No offense or anything, but what's the point of living?

To find out the point.

[jessica129]

You can't find the point if you do nothing because you're too afraid to do anything.

[UDP]

Well, one lead you have is to figure out how to cease being so afraid of things.

[jessica129]

I used to be afraid of my own shadow then i just stopped giving a damn one day. It worked.

[Ms. Kensington]

that's so cute.

[jessica129]

I'm sensing sarcasm.

[aut0]

Ok I take it back, I feel bad for laughing at that

[Ms. Kensington]

no i think its so cute. I didn't use the smiley because deltas dont like emoticons dont you know?