EIE/ENFj and SEE/ESFp cooking and baking cookies

[Khamelion]

So she(ENFj) threw this party for a friend of ours. I helped her with lots of stuff. Middle of the party she was going to make cookies, because...it just seemed like a good time. So she puts them all out on the pan, calls me in to help but I stall for a while. When I come in they are all on the pan. She pops them in, they cook, I wonder what I was needed for. Then I come in when the get out of the oven, to see if my help was needed this time. Lots of commotion was going on, and the cookies were clearly stuck to the bottom of the pan. She needed to get a spatula an lift them off one by one so as to bunch them together and pour on some crazy chocolate sause, but she wasn't hearing me over everyone. So I was like, "Hey, hand it here" And I just started doing it. She stares up at me for a second with this face and storms off. I know how bad she wanted to write on the cookies with the sause so after doing the job lifting job I go try to find her, and I tell her they are ready for her to fix up. ANd she makes some dismissive noise so I do it myself. Then she comes in later and just makes a huge emphasis that they were HER cookies and SHE made them blah blah. And basically she was outwardly pissed at me for an hour or two afterwards.


See at first I try to appeal to her Fe, but she is upset by such a ridiculous thing that I can't bring myself to do that. So I just stare at her until she apologizes for being a crazy to me. Which sometimes doesn't happen until she has switched my myspace profile a few notches down on myspace, and made room for some other chick that she wants to hang out with, until that girl pisses her off 5000x more than i did, and she messages me, "KELS I MISS YOU!!"

Does any of this sound typical of an ENFj? I have two mature ENFj's in my family, so dealing with a 21 year old friend who is ENFj is quite different.

And damn, keeping the peace between her and ENTp fiance,

[Khamelion]

I would have killed her.
ENFj, do you want to decorate the cookies?
No? Fine then. I will go find a happy person to decorate the cookies...
Oh, you want to now? TOO FUCKING BAD!

thats exactly what my fiance said when I told him of the series of encounters, knew he would too. thats why when THEY fight its usually a week or so until they talk again because she is thinking that he hates her, and he is thinking she is getting what she deserves. but he doesn't ever seem to get caught in the myspace game she plays. i just find this hilarious that she uses it to let people know she doesn't like them right now.

[xyz]

yes, it is a typical ENFj behavior. Slit her throat.

[aka-kitsune]

Mmmm... cookies.

[Red Sky]

yes, it is a typical ENFj behavior. Slit her throat.

Well I doubt that this would ever happen to me, she seems to be extremely sensitive but like me she seems to get ticked off by the smallest of negative gestures. Alas, I do agree that slitting her throat might be the best solution however.

[liveandletlive]

haha soooo ENFj! They're obsessed with not making mistakes ( creative function) so she was really insulted that you were the one to a) make it better and b)take her thunder... especially if u did this in front of other people she probably saw it as being a traitor.

[Mea]

That is kinda typical of ENFjs I think.
But if her temper were better, I don't think she'd have stormed off, she'd more likely pout and whine or something.
My ENFj friend does it all the time in various situations.
I usually couldn't care less to entertain all his little fits of drama. Then he'll just whine more and make me feel MORE guilty.

[Khamelion]

That is kinda typical of ENFjs I think.
But if her temper were better, I don't think she'd have stormed off, she'd more likely pout and whine or something.
My ENFj friend does it all the time in various situations.
I usually couldn't care less to entertain all his little fits of drama. Then he'll just whine more and make me feel MORE guilty.

She a couple beers in here, hence the storming


She storms a lot anyways though come to think of it...

[Khamelion]

haha soooo ENFj! They're obsessed with not making mistakes ( creative function) so she was really insulted that you were the one to a) make it better and b)take her thunder... especially if u did this in front of other people she probably saw it as being a traitor.

thats sooo off the mark though, man. ALL i was trying to do was unstick them quickly for her, because she was trying to and they were getting all messed up. then she just blew up without letting me explain. and i didnt want any thunder what so ever...i just wanted to save the cookies. lol.

[liveandletlive]

haha soooo ENFj! They're obsessed with not making mistakes ( creative function) so she was really insulted that you were the one to a) make it better and b)take her thunder... especially if u did this in front of other people she probably saw it as being a traitor.

thats sooo off the mark though, man. ALL i was trying to do was unstick them quickly for her, because she was trying to and they were getting all messed up. then she just blew up without letting me explain. and i didnt want any thunder what so ever...i just wanted to save the cookies. lol.

i noooo u just have to look at it from her perspective-she's like obsessed with not making mistakes (*cough* OCD *cough*) also too since u benefit from her she was probably pissed that u were rite for once and that she should listen to you even though she never does (grrr i hate that) don't worry if she is enfj she loves you and realizes that she was wrong

[Khamelion]

haha soooo ENFj! They're obsessed with not making mistakes ( creative function) so she was really insulted that you were the one to a) make it better and b)take her thunder... especially if u did this in front of other people she probably saw it as being a traitor.

thats sooo off the mark though, man. ALL i was trying to do was unstick them quickly for her, because she was trying to and they were getting all messed up. then she just blew up without letting me explain. and i didnt want any thunder what so ever...i just wanted to save the cookies. lol.

i noooo u just have to look at it from her perspective-she's like obsessed with not making mistakes (*cough* OCD *cough*) also too since u benefit from her she was probably pissed that u were rite for once and that she should listen to you even though she never does (grrr i hate that) don't worry if she is enfj she loves you and realizes that she was wrong

yes she always apologizes eventually, sometimes its seconds after an outburst, sometimes its a day or two(hardly ever)...like i said, "kelly i love you where are youuu?!" i deal with it pretty well because how often it happens but ...im right a lot...

[07490]

I am new to this websites and I am a Male ENFJ at my 20's.... hmmm i would never do something like that unless it really means alot to me and i took a great deal of care in it. "To be or not to be" always apply to us and maybe she was in that TO BE mode that is why she is so upset.

[liveandletlive]

I am new to this websites and I am a Male ENFJ at my 20's.... hmmm i would never do something like that unless it really means alot to me and i took a great deal of care in it. "To be or not to be" always apply to us and maybe she was in that TO BE mode that is why she is so upset.

what do you mean by to be or not to be?

[Khamelion]

I am new to this websites and I am a Male ENFJ at my 20's.... hmmm i would never do something like that unless it really means alot to me and i took a great deal of care in it. "To be or not to be" always apply to us and maybe she was in that TO BE mode that is why she is so upset.

It was a friends birthday party and it was her idea for the cookies, SHE wanted to make them, SHE wanted to put the chocolate on. Which I wasn't trying to take away from her at all. I just noticed that she was doing a poor job at taking the cookies off the pan and they were going to get messed up. Which would have left her more upset in the long run.

[07490]

For me at least... and maybe to other ENFJs as well because it does state that in here http://www.socionics.com/prof/enfj.htm I tend to be very laid clam most of the time... but if i am working i make sure i put in 100% effort into it. I dont want my work to be mediocre.... i mean if you are going to put some effort in it to do something why not do it the best?

[FDG]

For me at least... and maybe to other ENFJs as well because it does state that in here http://www.socionics.com/prof/enfj.htm I tend to be very laid clam most of the time... but if i am working i make sure i put in 100% effort into it. I dont want my work to be mediocre.... i mean if you are going to put some effort in it to do something why not do it the best?

Because there are many things to do, and time is not enough to execute them all at the best. Plus, there's time to be dedicated to play, sex, and all that good stuff that life has to offer.

[implied]

fdg makes too much sense.

[Kristiina]

is it ever also important to you that some things be 100% your effort? [not saying this is type related. i dunno, trying to figure that one out.]

aaah. That's something that can be very important to me. I want to be the person who does it all (when I have decided that I will). Even if someone else could do one part better than me, I want to try and do it myself! I would get angry if someone took that pleasure away at the very last minute without me even asking them. "Butt out, my cookies!" wound be the thought on my mind, but I would say, "oh, wait, you don't have to do that.... wait, no... ...don't... ".

[Khamelion]

But I was only taking them off the pan safely! No one was looking! She ran off and then refused to take the chocolate sauce in her hissy fit. So I had to do it, and I told everyone she did just because I wanted to avoid the bullshit that would come if I didn't. rofl

[lefty]

But I was only taking them off the pan safely! No one was looking! She ran off and then refused to take the chocolate sauce in her hissy fit. So I had to do it, and I told everyone she did just because I wanted to avoid the bullshit that would come if I didn't. rofl

she must love you gossiping about her at her own party or the party she's throwing. jesus h. she didn't bake cookies becasue its fun, either, she did it because she felt obligated to. and you waltz in and want to act like its creative play time when she just wants a droll helpmate to make sure they come out alright. on top of that the pressure of not being an alpha but dating one would also leave something to be desired.

lefty
enfj
4w5

[Khamelion]

But I was only taking them off the pan safely! No one was looking! She ran off and then refused to take the chocolate sauce in her hissy fit. So I had to do it, and I told everyone she did just because I wanted to avoid the bullshit that would come if I didn't. rofl

she must love you gossiping about her at her own party or the party she's throwing. jesus h. she didn't bake cookies becasue its fun, either, she did it because she felt obligated to. and you waltz in and want to act like its creative play time when she just wants a droll helpmate to make sure they come out alright. on top of that the pressure of not being an alpha but dating one would also leave something to be desired.

lefty
enfj
4w5

Where is this gossiping? She didn't feel obligated to either, she wanted to make some for our friend because it was his bithday. She wanted the credit is all that was going on, and she THOUGHT I was trying to steal it from her, but I actually was just making sure they came out right. She was half-paying attention to them, so I took the spatula and did it for her, but she flipped out.